Darling

Here you go ♥

OKAY LEMME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT “FLIGHT TO CLOUD CASTLE”

THIS WHOLE EPISODE WAS ABOUT THIS LOSER LINK-RIPOFF NAMED “GARTH” TRYING TO RESCUE THIS PRINCESS “ARIEL”, AND HE’S TOTALLY PATHETIC BUT THE PONIES HELP HIM ANYWAY CUZ THEY’RE COOL LIKE THAT. (4 FOR YOU, PONIES)

WE ARE INTRODUCED TO HIM AS WE FIND HIM HARASSING A BIRD FOR HIS OWN SELFISH GAINS, AND THEN BEFORE THE PONIES CAN EVEN SAY ‘HI’ TO HIM HE TRIES TO GRAB HEARTTHROB AND FORCE HER TO GIVE HIM A RIDE AND HE CONSISTENTLY ACTS LIKE A SELFISH LITTLE JERK TOWARDS THE PONIES (SUCH AS BY LETTING A BRANCH HIT THEIR FACES WHEN HE WALKS AHEAD OF THEM, ALSO THE ENTIRE EPISODE IS CITEABLE BASICALLY)

THE WHOLE REASON HE NEEDS TO ‘RESCUE HIS TRUE LOVE’ IS TO PROVE THAT HE’S WORTHY FOR HER - EXCEPT THE PONIES BASICALLY DO ALL THE HARD WORK FOR THIS WORTHLESS SCHMUCK

LOOK AT THIS SMUG DOUCHE HE’S LIKE A ‘NICE GUY’ PERSONIFIED

AFTER HE SINGS AN ENTIRE SONG ABOUT ALL THE STUFF HE WOULD DO ‘FOR HIS TRUE LOVE,’ HE GIVES UP AT THE FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE ABOUT A MINUTE LATER AND BLAMES IT ON THE PONIES.

SO THE PONIES BASICALLY CARRY HIM THROUGH EVERY CHALLENGE AND TRIAL, AND THEN HE WAKES THE SLEEPING CHICK WITH A KISS - AND WHEN SHE STATES THAT SHE’S ‘NOT READY TO FALL IN LOVE’, HE LITERALLY SAYS, “I WOKE YOU FROM THE SPELL, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE MINE NOW”

LOOK AT THIS SEXIST PIECE OF SHIT CRYING ABOUT THE FRIENDZONE WHEN HE LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE A FOOT WITH A SHIT PERSONALITY AND VICTIM COMPLEX AND SHE LOOKS LIKE PRINCESS ZELDA

AND THEN WHEN THE CASTLE STARTS FALLING (DOOMING EVERYONE TO THEIR DEATH), HE STATES “WHY SHOULD I BOTHER [HELPING US NOT DIE]? I DON’T CARE ANYMORE” BECAUSE HEAVEN FORBID HE BE FRIENDZONED BY A CHICK HE JUST MET

THE PONIES PHYSICALLY HAVE TO FORCE HIM TO SAVE EVERYONE’S LIVES. AND THEN HE CONTINUES TO CALL ARIEL “MY BELOVED” EVEN THOUGH SHE’S MADE IT CLEAR SHE HAS NO INTEREST IN HIM.

AND THEN THE PONIES PRESSURE ARIEL INTO LIKING HIM BECAUSE THEY CRY THAT IT’S “NOT FAIR,” PONIES WHY ARE YOU BUYING INTO HIS SEXIST BULLCRAP????

SO ARIEL FINISHES BY SAYING “WELL, THERE’S ALWAYS THAT POSSIBILITY… [THAT I WILL LOVE HIM]” AND THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS THAT TRUE LOVE INVOLVES BEING A COWARDLY LITTLE SHIT WHO MAKES EVERYONE ELSE DO THE HARD WORK FOR YOU, BULLYING THE WOMAN YOU “LOVE” INTO LOVING YOU, AND THREATENING DEATH ON PEOPLE IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR WAY. A+ MORAL MY LITTLE PONY.

WORST ENDING TO WORST EPISODE, AND YOU STILL LOOK LIKE A FOOT YOU OBNOXIOUS LITTLE TURD

W … WAIT WHAT’S HAPPENING IN THE CORNER THERE