all eyes on me when i walk in

You could get like a clone? I don’t think they make twins this late, giving birth to a full sized adult would hurt. Wow, really? Moonshine should try borrowing some of your clothes sometimes, too; I’d like, love to give her a makeover someday! Right, no, I would never marry someone gross, of course. He was just an example because he invited me to some party where no one wears clothes so he was like, fresh on the brain. I wouldn’t mind marrying a better boy and getting a better castle – maybe I could marry like, Prince Archie or something since Prince Adam is taken. That’s a super awesome catchphrase, you should use that when you advertise try outs. Totally! I’ll talk to my parents tonight; they know what a big deal being a cheerleader is. My mom was one, too, in case you forgot!

A clone, that’s brill! Is...is anyone smart enough to build a clone? Or, like, I could ask someone to make one with magic, I guess, though that’s probably a violation of like every law; it’d be worth it though! OH, you should def give Moonshine a makeover! She let me tweeze her eyebrows, but that hurt so much that she doesn’t trust me anymore with the beauty life, so someone’s has to handle it, and you’ve got natural street style so you’re a sensible choice! Prince Adam, sigh. It’s such a shame his brother isn’t nearly as fun to be around, but you could do way worse - and at least there isn’t much competition! I could never forget that your mom was a cheerleader! She’s basically like an aunt to me even if she doesn’t visit Neverland as much as Mom thinks she should. A message which, by the by, you should feel free to pass on if you’d like.

I still like pencil liner better because it makes my eyes feel like coloring books a little bit. That’s true, too; although I guess eventually Zira will get to the future she’s dreaming of? Or does she always keep dreaming beyond what she’s looking at right now? That gets so confusing, I just want her to be happy right where she is someday. Anyone covered in glitter is easy to confuse with your mom, or with Mariah’s mom! But mostly yours, I always think of her first. Wait, why would I want Archie and Janelle to move out? They can live there with their true loves, too, they aren’t that distracting if they have their own wings. Totally! Do you think we’d ever mix it up and do guys versus girls, or is couples tennis always better? You know so much more about how to be a good girlfriend than I do, Cupcake. You can be silly with me whenever you want, you know that, right? I mean, you two are the perfect couple so there’s nothing you need to be silly about but if you’re feeling it you don’t have to hide it from me. I don’t know, he looks really handsome in blue, don’t you think?

Pencil liner looks better on you anyway, honey! Liquid would be too harsh on your peaches-and-cream complexion. Who even knows what it’ll take to make Zira happy forever? She can go from happy as the day is long when we help make her over for a selfie-shoot to locking herself away if she doesn’t get as many likes-per-post as she needs; focus on making yourself happier, you’re at least easier to understand. Honey! You and Adam are going to need private couple time someday! That’s when intimacy is born, and that can’t happen in a brother or sister or five keep bursting in always! When another option is you and me as a team, couples tennis is certainly not always better - besides, think of how funny it’d be to see Adam and Phillip try to keep up. Thanks, sweetie; I learned from the best, and you’re no slouch-girlfriend either, but you know I’m always willing to share my knowledge. I know, sweetie, I know I can be silly with you, and ugh, the truth is I keep having nightmares that Phil’s cheating on me which is ridiculous because you’re the only girl of comparable beauty to me in our kingdom and you would never but it makes me worried that I should be worried? Clearly I’m not working the cheer squad hard enough if I have time to make myself worry about nothing, though! Psh, Adam looks handsome in anything, but you guys always do blue. What about golden? Like, golden-yellow, like your hair? It’s the other royal color, and you could get a dress as stunning as his grandmother’s ball gown! How special would that make prom?

@phillipofcamelot, I had another nightmare about you cheating on me! If you’re really being faithful, why does Dream-Phil keep popping up between other girls’s legs? If you’ve got something to confess, mister, I’d rather you do it now than after homecoming so I can either forgive you or find another date for the night while you’re on trial.

Clara-mom is definitely better at helping with boys and clothes and fashion. I don’t really know what Parker-mom and Zira have in common but it’s something, and it also involves not talking to real live walking talking people, that’s for sure! Sherbert looks way more like your dad than your mom, btw! And you’re just as pretty as your mom is, even if you’re not practically identical twins. Nobody thought King Blake could be tamed, either, though, and look how perfect they are together! I bet Janelle has a great love story ahead of her, and I hope somebody makes Arch smile someday, he deserves it. He’s going to have frown lines so young if he doesn’t start soon! The outfits are really cute, and when I’m doing athletic stuff is when mom says I’m allowed to wear my high pony. I feel so safe in that, so doing tennis would be an extra excuse to wear it sometimes. Why would he want you to be quiet? You’re the most interesting person in the world, I could listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. You do? You always seem so confident when you guys are together, I thought you were getting past that. Phil loves you, how could he not? But prom’s coming up, what he does for post-prom is a great test of how devoted he is, right?

That’s true, I think Clara was the first person who showed me how to use liquid eyeliner, actually - my Mom’s more of a natural beauty, except for sparkly stuff! Oh, that’s easy, I know what they have in common! Parker-mom and Zira don’t live in the present! They’re Past Woman and Future Girl, the weirdest hero duo ever! I tell Sherbert he looks the most like Mom sometimes when he gets surprise glitter-bombed by the little ones, but he’s basically Dad Part 2 and it’s freeeaky. Your faith is the cutest thing ever, P! I hope you’re right, because if you’re going to move into Adam’s castle someday, it’d be better if Archnelle weren’t there making it more like a Full House episode than a rom com. You look sooooo pretty with your nice hair framing your face, so yaaaay, an excuse to wear the safe-feeling pony, I love it! And playing doubles tennis is what all the rich couples do in the tv shows, it could be Philcake versus Adora someday in the grand castle! No, no, I’m totally confident with Phil, of course I am. I’m just being silly, that’s all. It’s easy when I have a friend who loves me as much as you do to expect, well, more from Phil than what I’m getting, but he shows his love different ways, that’s all. Um, let’s focus on something else, like on what color Adora is going to rock to prom.

Oh, absolutely. And it’s like, double the closet space since I can wear anything of Bella’s if I really want to. I think my style’s a little better than hers, but occasionally she picks out stuff that’s cute. You’ve got lots of sisters, though, do you ever share clothes? It is super confusing but I think it depends on who of us marries the better boy. I mean, hello, if I’m marrying like, the crown prince of Atlantica and she’s marrying a commoner or something, then obviously I should give her Charmington and embrace my new home under the sea. Dancing’s fun but I’d rather be a good dancer and a good cheerleader, so that I’m one of the best ones on the squad. Really? I would love that, and I’d get my dad to make sure that it counted as community service, he knows people.

A twin’s clothes sound super convenient, oh my Beast! Is it too late for me to get a twin? I mean, I do share stuff with Margarita sometimes, even if her style is a little different than mine - it’s got some cute pieces! And Moonshine always buys sweaters that are too big for her and they fit me like cute crop-top sweater that go great with skirts in the colder months, actually. Ew, Prince Hurricane may be a prince but he’s a total perv - if that was just an example, though, yay, because I totally get it now! Good luck marrying the better boy, or not, if you want to keep your castle. All cheerleaders are good dancers, but not all dancers are good cheerleaders, and thats’ why we’re superior, among other reasons. Omb, yes, yes, please! I need more community service if I want a shot into getting into Round Table University’s cheer program after Auradon Prep - RTU is seriously competitive for sports, and not just good grades and captainship cut it anymore, you know.

I’m sure you’d still be cute, but you just got lucky and were born with the color you were meant to have. I can totally bow down to a queen, I know that I have to wait my turn just like mom did. I mean, she wasn’t born a queen and now look at her, she’s the best queen Charmington’s ever seen – totes offense to Grandma Snow White, I know getting her face on TV everyday is cool and all but she like, left behind a castle and a husband. Yuck, she actually had to work and stuff. Oh my Beast, no, I can’t get cut and end up on the dance squad, dance squad’s for losers. I’m going to go start practicing like, right this second, there’s no time to waste.

Luck knows what it’s doing then, yay! You got lucky too! I would kill to have a twin, that way I’d know what outfits look good on me without having to try them all on and ruin my hair. Awww, I love your Grandma Snow White, she’s an icon even now that she’s getting o-l-d; serious question, though, are you going to be the next best queen of Charmington or does that honor go to your sister, because that’s super confusing! Mom says it’s not nice to say anyone is a loser, but my parents also say it’s not good to lie, so I’m glad that you know that cheer is where it’s at! They try to be as cool as us, poor things, but they don’t succeed, and you have to go where the talent goes, right? If you need some extra help, I’d love to be of assistance! That could count as community service, right? Teaching you moves? Would you sign an hours sheet for me?

I think we kind of look like which mom we resemble more, right? I mean, I love Zira, but she’s even more obsessed with social media than mom is with dead people, and mom taught me how to be super cute and to ask people to give me quotes for the newspaper even when they don’t want to. I don’t know, I really think Adam’s dads’ story is so romantic, don’t you? It just kind of sounds like your parents were always together, but his parents were best friends and King Will almost married somebody else and then a kiss changed their whole lives! I’m sure they want Adam to be just as happy as they are, though, and Archie and Janelle, too, right? Maybe there’s a sorority president, or a young professor, or a head cheerleader, or a tennis player. Should I start playing tennis? That seems very house-wifey. Oh! So talking about marriage is like a love-booster? It makes him think about all the future kisses you’re going to have and he just wants to appreciate every moment of it and start now? Hmm… Well, we did talk about how he didn’t imagine me being on the council, that’s a good sign, right?

Oh, totes! You’re both way easier to talk to than your moms, if you ask me, but I so see them in you. It’s still super weird to me that other people, like, look like their parents - in my house, Sherbert’s the weirdo for actually kind of looking like Mom and Dad, we like the spiciness that all our variety brings! My parents were always together, but they knew since they were babies that they were destined to be together and they still are, which is incredsies! I like Adam’s dads’ story too, I guess, but I don’t think it really compares. I hope all their kids get a happy ending too, but let’s be honest, honey, Archie’s probably going to die alone if he keeps this emo thing up, and Janelle can’t be tamed! Ew, please, you’re better than any sorority-professor-cheerleader-tennis player combo that there could ever be, and Adam knows that! He wouldn’t be dating you if he didn’t think you were the best Auradon had to offer. Though tennis is great for cardio and I love their little skirts, so I vote yay on that idea! Marriage is totally a love booster! Either that or it makes him wish I was quiet instead, but I prefer to think of it as a love booster, and besides, the convos gotta be done either way, right? I can’t just date him and, like, not know where we’re going. That is a good sign! You and Adam are solid, Pandora. I have more faith in you two than I do in me and Phil sometimes.

No, being sweet attracts honey bees, but mom always says how the bees die if they sting you just once and that if they ever do it, to bring the bee home and she can try to have a seance and find out if its final act of violence was worth it or not. Oh, I don’t want to steal third from his parents, King Will and Mr. Blake deserve the spotlight a little longer before another royal love story takes their place, don’t you think? College is an exciting new time in his life! Who knows, maybe he could have met cool exciting college girls and changed his mind about boring little me. Not that he ever would because he’s just the sweetest, but I didn’t want to pressure him when we’re in totes different places right now. Does he take the hints when you drop them? I mean, what could I say, if I decided I wanted to talk about it with Adam?

...Good Beast, your mom is so weird. You’re so lucky you got the pretty from your moms without the weird, because I wouldn’t know how to be around you. I mean, MY parents think that the story of Trevanie should be third, and if there’s contention, then it’s fair game, isn’t it? King Will and Mr. Blake are super hot but it’s our time now, and they’d want their son to follow in their footsteps with an adorable story. Please! What college girl could be better than you? There’s only one girl better than you in the world, P, and that’s me, and I’m content with Phil. Adam is totally yours for the taking. Um, well, usually Phil gets really into me when I bring it up, actually - it makes him kiss me, like, a lot, and then we kind of just get swept up in that. You and Adam, though? You could ask him if he thinks you’d make a good queen, maybe! Then he’s thinking about you in that role without you coming right out and asking about being his “wife”!

Brunette totally suits you, though! It’s different for us, we looked sooo much like our mom, but with our dad’s hair color, and well – no offense to daddy dearest, but mom’s so much cuter. Do you have a special hair conditioner that keeps yours shiny? I worry that mine’s kind of dull sometimes when I have to use hairspray to curl it, but naturally it’s gorg, of course. I’d totally been in ballroom classes since sixth grade and I took some tumbling classes when I was younger, but I broke a finger nail and it was tres painful, so I’ve been on a hiatus. I’ve got my natural talent still, though, but I could always find a class for the next few months, I bet. Don’t worry, I so won’t let you down. 

Thank you, I know! Imagine me as a blonde, yeck. And Phil would look so funny with frosted tips, but it’d be way less sexy on him than his natural hair. It does work for some people, though, like Pandora! She’s queen of the blondes, and you’re like one of her court’s pretty princesses! Oh, no, I don’t believe in hair product that you can buy at, like, stores and stuff - I make my own, but it’s all top secret, shh! Breaking a nail is the worst, you poor thing! I recommend classes, though, and maybe some fake nails to keep your real ones safe. Ballroom is good, too, but it makes you sound like more of a dancer and those girls are such wanna-be-cheerleaders it’s not even funny. At least you’d have a Plan B.

BED: @archienotarchimedes​! If Phillip dies for some reason and I need to find a new boy-love, Pandora’s boo’s brother makes sense, right? Besides, if anything could turn his frown upside down, it’d be his own personal cheerleader!

WED: @phillipofcamelot​, of course! <3

The cute I’ve definitely got covered, mom and dad have always said that Bella and I are the fairest of them all, and since I went blonde, well – there’s no competition anymore. I can’t wait to get to high school and make new friends and find sisters and cheer for cute boys. I’ll totally do what I can to prepare for the next few months, I’d hate to start high school off on the wrong foot. I mean, is there ever anybody who doesn’t make it their first year and then stands a chance the year after that? I feel like that’s like, high school career suicide.

I’m more partial to brunettes myself, but I guess we’ll know when you both get boyfriends for sure which of you is the fairest - the prettiest girls attract the prettiest boys, fun fact. For preparation, make sure your hair stays shiny, your waist stays small, and practice being loud! Being loud is important! Also, if you have any tumbling skills, fine tune them asap! Any dance or gymnastics experience? The first year is soooo crucial. Unless you’re a no one and a popular picks you in like your junior year or something, you really have no shot at ascending to max popularity if you get off on the wrong foot. But no pressure!

He’s so cute, on the inside and on the outside. I don’t know how I got so lucky, to find somebody so sweet. But Phil’s such a pretty boy, too! Not as pretty as you, but nobody is. Oh. Right, a proposal! Um, we just haven’t talked about it, it never comes up. He’s so busy with college and preparing to be king, and I’m so busy with cheer, and you know, Auradon’s really changed. Without villains to make life seem more dangerous and urgent, and with his dad in charge, people just don’t seem in a super rush, right? It’s normal for us to have not talked about it yet, it doesn’t mean anything.

Because you’re sweet, duh! Sweet attracts sweet, just like pretty attracts pretty and cheerleader attracts tourney player, it’s a tale as old as time! Like my mom and dad, the greatest love story of all time. Phil and I will take the second greatest love story ever spot soon, but you and Adam are welcome to take third! It never comes up? Like, at all? He’s in college now, Dora, he’s a grown-up! How does it not come up? You don’t just, like, casually date the guy who’s going to rule our whole world, you know. Or maybe you do but that’s…unusual. Even I drop marriage hints to Phil, and we’re still high schoolers.

Wow, I can’t wait to join the high school cheerleading team someday, you make it sound so fun. Do you have camps or anything over the summer, to like, help me get ready for it?

It’s more than fun, Little Golden Twin! It totally set me up for life! Cheerleading gave me the best friend of all time and a killer girl squad, a totally hot prince tourney captain boyfriend, and a cute little uniform that gets you into any party and out of any problem. And if you play your cards right, this could be allll yours once you get to the big leagues. We have a cheer camp that you’re totally welcome to join in on over the summer, and most of our upperclassmen have said they’re all really interested in a big-sister-little-sister cheer initiative in the upcoming year, so you have that to look forward to! Your high school will be made if you get in, so good luck, try hard, and stay cute! Being cute is important.