darklodge : written by yana. 25. she/her.
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@darklodge
darklodge : written by yana. 25. she/her.
indie rp blog that contains darker themes and smut. minors dni. medium to low activity.
.・ carrd.

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“ our home. ” the words left her tongue accompanied by a practiced laugh. kept her face carefully composed, forcing the corners of her mouth up into a shape that looked like gratitude. her fingers found his wrists, pressing into the heat of his skin as she gave his hands a small, gentle squeeze. “ our home, ” she said again. repetition was supposed to make the reality go down easier, but the phrase still tasted wrong. it was a temporary fix for a something that had entirely blown out of proportion. when she first brought him around her father, the plan seemed flawless. a cheap, predictable stunt to trigger an argument and test the boundaries of her inheritance. she wanted to see them twitch. she didn't plan on the floor dropping out from beneath her heels, leaving her with a dead phone and an apartment where the pipes probably rattled through the night.
“ the bus, ” she murmured. her lungs felt tight as she watched the massive metal frame screech toward the curb. mind immediately ran through the grime of the interior. the hundreds of damp coats that had dragged across the vinyl, the grease left behind on the metal poles, the heavy, stale air of public transit. irritation started to prick at the back of her neck. “ thanks, babe, ” she muttered, her voice dropping into a softer, rhythmic tone as she stepped forward into his chest. she wrapped her arms around his middle, burying her face into the fabric of his jacket. the proximity hid her expression completely, letting her roll her eyes into the dark of his shoulder without him seeing the line of her mouth flatten out. the air brakes hissed, a loud, wet sound that meant the doors were opening. she pulled her arms back, her palms landing flat against his chest to give him a firm, forward nudge. “ go first, ” she said, gesturing toward the steep rubber steps. she climbed up right behind him, the smell of damp carpet and old heaters hitting her instantly. she looked over his shoulder at the rows of low, blue seats, her jaw tightening. “ can i sit on your lap instead ? ” she asked, her fingers hooking into the belt of his pants. “ please ? ”
love has blinded him completely to the warning signs glowing red around her. maybe it was an unconscious choice to not look too closely. a burning love lived within his heart. whatever he owned was hers too. it was an easy choice to share anything and everything that could make her feel better. he longed to see her usual carefree smile on her glossed lips. nothing was better than that. " alright. " did what he was told and stepped on the bus first.
eyes scanned the bus closely. not many people out tonight so there was enough room for them to sit together. he walked forward and felt her tug at him. soft smile etched on his lips as he looked over his shoulder. " of course baby. " it only made him happy that she wanted to be near him. that she found comfort in him. he sat down and pulled her hand to get her down with him. arms wrapped around her waist and he exhaled slowly. breathing out the night they'd had. " i'm proud of you. " she stood tall all while her parents hated her for it. " you stood up for yourself. that's ... impressive. you looked hot tonight. " a soft chuckle muffled by her hair.
kept her fingers locked to itself even after he pulled away. his rejection was pulling an all to familiar ache on her chest. all her life, she had been the girl looking through the glass, counting the things she couldn't touch, breathing in the envy until it felt like smoke in her lungs. suffocating and all too consuming. then she figured out the trick. people were simple. they had prices. they had levers you could kick until they dropped to their knees. except him. he was dense. rigid. an anomaly. his defiance should have turned her off, but it did the complete opposite. it sharpened her fixation. watched him recede into the blur of the living room, her eyes tracking the movement before they rolled. let out a short, dry exhale. if he wanted to test the parameters of the leash, fine. they could play it out in public.
turned on her heel. spotted another drunken body. slid a folded bill onto their pocket, her fingers touching the man's sleeve just long enough to fully get his attention. “ the man who just took a shot from the bottle, ” she murmured, her face neutral, voice barely carrying over the bass rattling the floorboards. asking the stranger to call aurelio with his real full name. stayed by the wall, shoulder pressed against the cold plaster as she watched the stranger weave through the dense thicket of bodies. if the name didn't snap his chin around, didn't make his blood run cold enough to drag him back to her, then the evening was about to get intersting for him. a house full of cheap liquor and loose tongues was the perfect incubator. with enough alcohol rotting their filters, the guests would do the work for her. all she has to do is drop the seed. they would cultivate the rumor until the truth was entirely misshapen, bloated, and irreversible. a wildfire is always much more efficient when someone else supplies the timber.
he let out a breath as he realized he dodged a bullet. aurelio almost wanted to pat himself on the back for another success. another girl who wanted more but by now he knew how he could just ... exit the conversation without really having to let the girl down. because after all ... if he was lonely one night he might need her again. no one knew what the future held. just as he's looking around to find a pretty girl, someone tapped him on the shoulder. something was whispered in his ear and he felt his blood run cold.
". get the fuck away from me dude. " he replied with a shove and the guy disappeared in the crowd again. it had been a year since he last heard it. then name he decided to remove himself from. fuck fuck fuck. dark hues scanned the crowd and he turned. was she baiting him or was she telling the truth? he hoped his name was the only thing she knew. gaze found hers and a fire ignited in him. only a spark for now but if she kept playing around then ... it might grow into a forest fire. he b lined toward her. " what the fuck was that? " voice low to make sure no one else heard. " who else have you told? " her empty threats might've been more than he initially thought. " tell me. "
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the guy that just dumped her was the only guy she'd been with . he was a distraction more than anything . just a warm body to keep her bed from being empty . to be honest , every guy reminded her of him ; a memory of what she left behind . ❝ okay , cool . ❞ kimora says , hands sinking into the pockets of her hoodie . a silence fell between them for a moment , eyes drop from him to the ground and back . ❝ oh . i just asked cause my mom said some new shops opened up downtown . . . ❞ was he tired of talking to her ? was he mad ? she couldn't put her finger on it . him bringing up the parade flashed memories before her eyes . they'd always gone together , been at the front to catch all the candy and stuff that was thrown at them . ❝ i was thinking about it . are you gonna go ? i could tag along if you are . . ❞ she says softly , hand moving to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear .
“ i haven’t noticed. ” which was true but he hadn’t bothered to look around. he hadn’t been out much — not lately anyway. he was either home with his dad, going to the grocery store and then maybe a few late night drives around the empty roads. god, he missed her on those drives. sometimes they just say quietly next to each other while he let her pick whatever radio station she was in the mood for.
wyatt met her gaze finally, surprised that she asked to go with him. when he first saw her, he had tried to convince himself that the best approach was to be dismissive. careless about her return to town. though that tough exterior seemed to melt more and more the longer he stood there talking to her. " yeah, i'm probably gonna go. " if she hadn't asked to go with him he wouldn't even have considered going. " get there late maybe ... " he said with a shrug as hands were shoved in his worn out jean pockets. " only going for mr. ramirez hot dogs of course. "

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how could he explain to her that there would be no life left to enjoy if they remained in this city. the clock was ticking, a countdown in the back of his mind, and his employers were growing volatile. their patience was a finite resource and its rapidly draining. it was only a matter of weeks, perhaps days, before she was formally summoned to court as a star witness, a single piece of testimony that would inevitably cause the entire multi - billion ( not million ) dollar defense to collapse into ashes. it would mean the destruction of the firm's strategy. worse, it would mean a permanent smudge on his own unblemished, perfect portfolio. it was a dark brand of irony, wasn't it. genuinely sweating over a minor blemish on a legal track record, completely ignoring the fact that the entire foundation of his career had been built on the systematic erasure of innocent lives.
a slow, deflating sigh pass his lips. reaching up, his fingers closed around her wrist, gently but firmly removing her hand from his cheek to break the warmth of her touch. “ i... ” syllable died on his tongue. ocean hued eyes stared at her, the next words failing to materialize in his throat. it was an entirely foreign sensation; language had always been child’s play to him. yet now, his speech was completely jammed by a sudden influx of honesty. shifted his weight, dropping one hand down to rest against his waist as he took a deliberate step backward. he needed the physical distance to find his footing, to separate the man he was supposed to be from the man he was currently becoming in front of her. “ i work with a lot of incredibly dangerous, highly influential people, and these individuals expect results. they don’t compromise, and they absolutely do not accept any outcome other than the exact one they’ve paid for. ” he paused, his tongue catching on the sharp edge of his teeth. he had to phrase this perfectly, navigating the fine line between warning her and exposing his own monstrous assignment. “ they... they want you, ” he said, selecting the vaguest, most sterile phrasing possible to shield them both from the cold reality. “ you possess information regarding the specific case i’m currently handling. if you are called to the witness stand, your testimony will easily dismantle the entire defense we’ve spent months building. ”
he left the gruesome details completely unsaid. he didn't mention the explicit, written order currently sitting in his email, the command that dictated her permanent silence. he didn't tell her that he had been sent into her life as an executioner, not a lover. he bit down hard on his bottom lip, the physical pain a necessary anchor to suppress the remainder of the truth before he finally forced his gaze back up to meet hers. “ that’s why i’m asking you this, juliette. to just disappear with me. ”
the reality she had grown used to was going down. shattering in pieces around her feet. she would end up missing the bliss she had experienced. he pulled away and she felt the air shift between them. his body pulled away from her in a way she hadn't experienced before. " you're ... you're not making any sense. " nothing made sense to her no matter how many words came out of his mouth. " case ... you mean the criminal case? " they had been talking openly about it. sometimes it felt like he was the only person who understood how hard it was for her to step up and do it. do the right thing. chest moved up and down erratically. no control over the reaction of her own body.
" what the fuck are you talking about? " never had he said anything about being involved in the case. she had relied on him when she spoke about how hard it was going to be to testify. he'd consoled her when nothing else could calm her. the blonde shook her head as gaze moved away from him. " no no ... you knew it was me all along? you ... you had some twisted plan to get me to not do it? to not tell the truth? " chest ached. " anything to get the verdict you wanted? did you get some extra cash for sleeping with me too? something to sweeten the deal? " eyes couldn't look at him without tears wanting to fill her eyes so she looked away. " god ... i have to give it to you — you've been a good actor. playing your part perfectly. " feet take her back and away from him. " or are you gonna pretend that it turned real for you? to get me to play nice and drop my testimony? god, you really think that lowly of me. " can't stop talking for a second when she's upset.
“ what can i say? i like a good challenge, ” she says with a smirk. eyes follow the line of his shoulder as he steps deeper into the bedroom. it is easy to make someone hate you, but twisting the knife so they love and hate you at the same time is like trying to keep a wild sparrow alive inside a closed fist. she wants him entirely confused. walks to the edge of the dresser and sets her watch down on the glass. “ no one is in this room to tattle unless you decided to do so. just say you want to sleep next to me, ” she mocks him, her head tilting back against the white wallpaper. watches him pull his arms through the sleeves of his shirt. the fabric is expensive. she has always preferred playing fire with fire, completely indifferent to what turns to cinders by morning. “ a tattoo, ” she says, raising an eyebrow. “ did not expect that from you, golden boy. ”
the surprise is genuine. she stands still for a moment, her eyes tracking the dark lines marking his ribs before she moves toward the closet. “ unlike you, im not disgusting. i like being clean before going to bed, ” she says. opens the bathroom door and goes inside. she closes the door behind her. the light under the mirror is bright and white. she completes her routine without rushing, washing the city dust from her face before she reaches for a piece of black silk from the hook. it is a thin thing, the kind of lace reserved for when she has a special gentleman spending the night in her place. she walks back out into the bedroom. “ you look awfully comfortable on my bed, ” she notes. slides beneath the heavy white quilt, her bare legs shifting against the smooth sheets until her hip rests an inch away from his. “ what's that supposed to be ? ” she asks, nodding toward the dark ink on his pale skin. reaches out, her fingernail lightly tracing the edge of the design. “ intentional or product of a drunken night ? ”
" mhm ... " he hummed low. " of course i want to sleep next to my soon to be wife. sleeping next to her couldn't be half as bad as talking to her. then he wouldn't have to hear her annoying voice. eyes rolled at her comment. he sure was a golden boy in the eyes of everyone else. wasn't it the same with her though? they all played their part.
eyes rolled back as she continued into the bathroom. maybe she'd be in there long enough to change her mind and end up sleeping on the couch. it would've made things easier for them both. he reached for his phone and mindlessly scrolled for a while as he heard her move around in the other room. pictures pop up from the night and their engagement is announced to the world. great. eyes doesn't move from the screen as she entered the room again. it seemed like their friends had gotten her heartfelt proposal from every angle. " it's a nice bed. " dismissive words falling off his lips. " tell me your interpretation. " it wasn't worth explaining to her out of all people. chills traveled down his spine at the sensation of her touch. " you think i'd do something on a whim? " maybe she hadn't quite figured him out as well as she thought. nothing in his life was done unplanned. well, until she walked into his life.
her world had always been built on a simple thing: no one is born entirely evil. evil wasn't a biological default. it was the output of a failed system, the architecture of a mind molded by a house that wasn’t ready to guide it. she knew she was fortunate. knew that growing up with a family that offered a soft perimeter was a luxury, that being kind in a world this loud and violent was a distinct privilege. she could have pressed him. could have demanded a line - item ledger of every bruise on his chest, every broken knuckle, every midnight tracking number. but what was the point ? she doubted he had walked into this life with his eyes open. doubted that if he were given a blank slate and a choice, he would choose the blood on his boots all over again. instead of forcing him to list his sins like a court transcript, she chose to map out the exact coordinates of where she stood in his life. if she knew the boundaries, she could position herself accordingly. she could dismantle any fragile, easily persuaded expectations her heart was trying to build before they became too heavy to carry.
she didn't just see the potential for a different version of him. she believed in it with stubborn certainty. a slow, deflating sigh passed her lips, the tension in her shoulders dropping as a subtle, small smile touched her mouth. wasn't going to push him any further into the light than he was ready to walk. she knew the mechanics of these conversations. she knew how much friction it took for a tongue like his to move around words like redeemable. “ okay, ” she said, her head nodding once to seal the admission. “ and i don’t just see it. i know you can still turn your life around. you know what they say. as long as you’re still breathing, there’s hope. it’s never too late for you, marco. ” the smile remained on her lips. “ does this mean you’ll stop disappearing in the middle of the night ? ” she asked, her voice dropping into a lower, lighter register that didn't quite hide the ache behind the question. “ or only showing up at my door when you’re beaten down to the bone ? would i actually get to be with you even when you don’t need me to tape your skin back together ? ”
had he gone too far to ever come back to the light? he didn't think so but he hadn't tried to get out. still he knew the looming threat that was held over everyone's head if they tried to get out. sometimes it had felt good to have that kind of closeness with someone. it was like a very dysfunctional and violent family. it had been a process to get where he was. he hadn't been born tough and coldhearted. it was something that had grown within over the years. just like weeds growing in the cracks of the pavement until it had completely taken over.
she said all those sweet words one would want to hear. about how hope was the only thing that mattered to turn things around. none of it was reality though. he could get out, get off his lease and look for a normal job ... but then what? he'd be labeled as a quitter. the only thing worse than being a quitter was being a snitch. a lot of time would have to pass until they would forget that betrayal. " that's not why i come here. " it hurt to know that was what she thought it was. he nodded slowly to her questions. " can i stay? tonight? " if she expected perfection from now on she would be disappointed. " would you still like me if there was nothing to save? " now it is his turns to ask the questions. " would you want this if i was someone else? someone normal? " he was the lost dog looking for a home. finding that sense of belonging without having his hands stained red in the process.
hearing his mocking tone calling out from a little too closely behind her, adrenaline kicking in as a type of fear she wasn't aware of suddenly causes goosebumps to form all over soft skin. " you're so cheating! you said you were gonna give me a head start, you liar! "
though she doesn't dare to stop, feet picking up the pace as she heads towards the shadow of trees at the bottom of the street, hoping she can lose him in the small acre of woods — competitve spirit shining through since she wants to win whatever sick game the two of them are playing.
lips curled into a bigger smile at her words. god, playing the game with her was better than imagined. he just knew she would know what to do to make it fun. he felt the blade that was tucked into the waistband of his pants. he knew how he wanted this night to end ... but maybe he had gotten another idea. a better one.
" you're ahead, aren't you? " he yelled back as he took a turn down the other street. it meant he lost sight of her ... momentarily. then he would intersect her in just a moment. beat up converse hit the concrete as he pushed on and boom ... like expected she appeared and he reached out for you. arms wrapping around her body as he pulled her in. " gotcha. " mouth by the shell of her ear. " i thought you'd outsmart me. "
she didn't know how hard it was for him to move on . it had been easy for her . new city , new life . but he was stuck here and memories haunted his every move . childhood sweethearts are a hard thing to forget . . . no matter how hard she tried . the facade she was giving him was for a reason . feelings still lingered for her . she had tried to hide them by being under another guy but they never faltered . this is what was best for him though . what they were was not something they could be again . at the mention of his father , she offered a soft smile before breaking his gaze to look at her twiddling thumbs . ❝ no , no its fine . i'm over him anyway . ❞ that as a lie but it made her feel better to say it out loud . the break-up had been over text . didn't even have the dignity to tell her to her face . she as a bit bitter about it . ❝ y - you don't have to . i mean , i've been gone for so long that i bet things have changed around here . ❞ if she was being honest , she didn't want him to leave .
he'd been with a few girls since her. nothing serious though. only a few nights of fun until he left texts and calls get unanswered. it was only a waste of time but what was he supposed to do to try to move on? but it only made him miss her more. " okay. " wyatt wasn't gonna bring it up again. not sure if they would get the chance to talk much more.
" around here? " a scoff slipped between his lips. " you know nothing changes around here. " it was still the same people, same shitty burgers at the diner and the same small town gossip. " are you going tomorrow? to the parade? " another thing that hadn't changed in town. wyatt used to like it. maybe he liked it because he did it with her. it seemed like when she went ... all his happiness went too.

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Franz Kafka, The Diaries of Franz Kafka
“ no buses at this hour, ” he says, his voice flat as he slides the scrap of paper across the laminate table toward her. the pencil marks of the mechanic's number look gray under the fluorescent tubes, small and messy next to her clean hands. “ call him tomorrow. he can fix your car. ” he does not look up to see if she takes it, his attention already dropping to the plate of corned beef hash warming the space between them. a year ago, before the world went quiet and cold, he would have driven a stranger across three counties without asking for a dime. he used to be the kind of man who kept a spare blanket in the trunk just in case. now, the diesel in his tank feels too expensive to waste on a girl who does not belong in the dirt of this valley. “ pretty far, ” he mutters around a mouthful of salt and grease, not bothering to swallow before he speaks. manners are for people who intend to see each other again.
he pushes the remaining hash around the rim of his plate, fighting the sudden, heavy ache behind his ribs before letting out a long exhale that smells of tobacco. “ if you can wake up early, i can drive you there, ” he says, the words falling out half-hearted and careless, like an afterthought he might take back if she takes too long to answer. he sets his fork down with a small clatter that makes the coffee in her mug ripple against the ceramic rim. “ you pay for the gas of course. ”
gaze found the note with the name and number on it. she didn't want to think about the price tag to get her car out of the street and making it function again. she folded it up and put it inside her handbag. " thank you. " then she focused on her coffee. not really wanting the bitter taste but wanted the warmth it provided. " have you ever been? to rosefield? " guilt washed over her when she thought about why she was there. she should've visited more over the last couple of years but she barely had time or money to go. instead they sent letters and talked on the phone but when she got sick ... she heard her voice less. deep exhale as memories were pushed to the back of her mind. when she got to her destination she would deal with those emotions later.
hope ignited in her gaze when he spoke again. " can you? seriously? " or is he messing with her one last time before he drives off into the night? god, she hoped not. " i can be up early. " there weren't really anyone else she could ask. sure, the waitress looked sweet but she doubted she could get a ride from her. eyes rolled at his dramatic ways before she picked up her mug. coffee tastes better than expected. gwen leaned back in her seat slowly and another sip moved down her throat. " of course. " wouldn't expect him to do anything just for the kindness of his soul. " tell me a time and i'll be up. " would he be? she could imagine the hangover would hit him. or maybe he just drank like that always? maybe this was his normal state.
“ a life? ” the chuckle dropping dryly. he shifts his weight closer, looking at the small space where she sits. “ you call this a life? ” some people exist without ever breathing. he can see the faint shape of the streetlights cutting through the window blinds, landing across her chin like bars. it is hard to watch someone defend a cage just because they have been inside it for a long time. “ i know his kind, ” his voice leveling into something flat and unhurried. he thinks about his own mother sitting at the long dining table in madrid, waiting for the front door lock to click. he knows how men like her husband use dinner parties and gold watches to hide the bruises on a woman’s wrist. understands the exact geometry of that kind of fear because he grew up in the same house with it. “ what? do you have some sort of tracker in your ass? ” he asks. the laugh comes out easily this time, heavy with the blunt confidence of a man who has never had to look at a price tag. a bank account can erase a name from a registry in twelve hours if you know which clerks to pay. the world is surprisingly small when you have the cash to buy it.
“ if i have a savior complex, i will be doing this from the goodness of my heart, ” he says with a short chuckle. he is no prince charming. he knows the dirt on his own shoes too well to pretend he belongs in a fairy tale. “ your husband has some unfinished business with my family, ” eyes staying on the dark line of her collarbone. the statement is only half of the story, but the other half is something he keeps tucked behind his teeth. doesn't want to think about the way his kitchen feels empty when she isn't sitting by the kettle. “ taking you away from him and you being free from him seems to be a win-win for everyone here, ” he says, his mouth turning up at the corner into a familiar smirk. “ we no longer have to sneak out and you'll be free from him. ” he shakes his head. “ if i get bored of you then i will give you a new name. a new identity. a chance to start over away from him, ” he says, his hand reaching out to steady her shoulder. “ seriously, viv. its a no brainer. i dont see why you're hesitating. ”
it had been the only life she had ever known. gotten married young to the first guy who showed her interest. too proud for a divorce but he had been her life. the house was his, the cars, the ring on her finger ... everything belonged to him. wasn't she just another thing on his list of possessions after all? sharp gaze met his, " you're not funny. " he made it seem like it was all simple. like she should just make the leap and put some trust in him. still a smile pulled at the corners of her lips when he laughed.
she's surprised that her husband doesn't know about him — about them. even after just a few minutes in his company ... she was changed. maybe a certain glow that only grew after they'd been together. her husband would be a fool to not notice. " if you get bored of me. mhmm ... what if i get bored of you? what happens then? " lungs are filled with air as she felt his touch. head turned to look into his dark hues. she could only imagine what secrets lingered there. “ i need time to pack a bag. ” it was obvious he thought she was staling but she was going to go through with it. he was giving her a way out and she’d be a fool to not take it. no matter her feelings for him. but her mind had been cloudy for long. years of hearing that she was destined to accept the life she had. the first time her husband ever got violent had been after a dinner party. the femme thought it had been a great night as they made it home. as soon as the door shut she’d been slapped across the face for laughing at a joke. one his friends had said something he didn’t like and she had laughed. he never corrected her in front of people though — that wouldn’t have been classy. at home though? then he wouldn’t hold back on. “ tomorrow? ” suggestion lingered between them as she turned to him completely. “ can you pick me up tomorrow? ”
can i have a plot where muse a is this rich guy and he’s in a relationship but he also has a side girl aka muse b who he sees often and makes sure she’s taken care of and pampered and basically she’s his stress relief, his “baby girl” and he always visits her when he comes home from business trips and also sends her to places in his own private jet to come see him whenever he wants and she’s basically his secret and it all starts out as fun and games and cuteness and sexiness until muse b wants more ( an exclusive relationship ) and muse a can’t give it to her pls!!
wishes she could say the same, that the names signed at the bottom of bank documents did not matter, but their opinion is everything. her father’s approval is a heavyl reality tightly tied to her future. it is the apartment in cheongdam-dong, the designated seat at the board meetings, the inheritance she spent her entire life behaving well to earn. all of it is anchored to her family’s opinion. she looks at him knowing she cannot dump the truth onto him like a bucket of dirty water. he is unfortunately the only person she has left in the world tonight. the one fake relationship she started as a game turns out to be the only real thing left standing.
“ home, ” she says, the word hanging between them with a heavy tinge of hesitation. the syllable feels awkward in her mouth, like a shoe that does not fit. she would rather be completely alone in a sterile hotel room where the sheets are crisp and unfamiliar than at his place where the wallpaper is peeling. “ but only tonight. i'll figure out where i can stay tomorrow. i don't want to bother you too much, ” she says, her voice smooth and careful as she attempts to conceal the truth that she does not want to be with him at all. looks down at her designer flats, already imagining the grit of his floor. “ i don't want to take the bus home, ” she says immediately, her fingers tightening around the strap of her leather bag. “ or the subway. ”
" yes ... home. our home. " he was so willing to share whatever he had with her. anything to make her feel wanted and loved. it was his new mission. meilin was worth fighting for. hands lingered and held her face so he could look at her. she must mourn the relationship with her parents that now are fractured. maybe fractured beyond repair.
he took a step back and reached for her hand, pulling her with him down the street. " you could never bother me. " having her close was the best thing he knew. " come on, calling a cab would take way longer than the bus. look — it's here in two minutes and we'll be home in no time. " he explained as if he thought she would reconsider. gunwoo stopped when they reached the bus cubicle. " you don't have to talk about what you feel tonight, you know? i know it's a lot. we can talk tomorrow. no pressure. " but he was there for whatever she wanted to do. " i'm here for you baby. " distance is closed between them and he placed a s oft kiss against the top of her head. scent of her shampoo filling his nostrils.

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feels the heat of his arm around her shoulders. a gesture meant to soothe, but one that feels more like a cage she hasn't yet bothered to break. she has spent weeks playing the part of the cool, detached playmate, forcing her thumbs to hover over her phone screen instead of sending the thousand messages screaming in her head. she mastered the art of the effortless exit, the casual morning goodbye, all while her insides were screaming with a hunger that defied any label of " casual. " she was so careful, so restrained, until she walked into this room and saw him laughing with that girl, his hand resting on her waist with the same ease that is meant for her. the sight didn't just hurt; it snapped the final, brittle thread of her composure.
his patronizing smile feels like a slap, and when he feigns forgetting her name, the irritation isn't just a flicker. it’s a wildfire. she lets him steer her, her body moving in perfect synchronization with his to signal their proximity to every woman in the room, making sure they all see exactly who he belongs to. she waits until the eyes of the crowd are sufficiently fixed on them, then she abruptly plants her heels, bringing their movement to a grinding halt. she turns, twisting in his grip until she is facing him, her eyes devoid of the playfulness he’s trying to manufacture. she doesn't blink as she looks up at him, her gaze scanning his handsome, arrogant face with a terrifying focus. she isn't playing his game anymore. she reaches up, her fingers grazing his lapel, not with a caress, but with a firm, grounding grip that makes it clear she is done being ignored.
“ no, i don't want a drink, ” she says, her voice a low, honeyed blade that cuts through the noise of the party. “ i don't want to enjoy this party. i don't want to be anywhere that forces me to share you. ” she leans into him, her presence becoming the only thing that exists in the air between them, her smirk dark and triumphant. “ let's go home. we have so much to discuss. ”
he's so sure that he's calmed her down from her crazy antics. but the she stopped. facing him while her steel eyes find his gaze. why did she want more of him? was it an attempt to get the wild horse to settle down? maybe to show everyone around them that she was special. just not one. of the girls in his roster. maybe that was it. causing a scene knowing that everyone around them would watch.
" i'm flattered jeni. i really am but you don't want me. " he starts, clearly trying out the old ' it's not you it's me ' spiel. that was a classic way to get a woman who's a little too into you to cool it down. " it's a party. we were both invited and we're supposed to enjoy it. " he continues as he looked down at her. she's a pretty girl, no question about it, but she's not enough for him to decide to settle down. that was laughable. even if she had some dirty little secret on him. " we'll you might not want one but i do ... " he shrugged and turned away towards the drink table. different bottles of liquor and seltzers scattered. hand grabbed the neck of the tequila and he took a shot straight from the bottle. " you do as you like princess. " a glance her way until feet moved him to the living room filled to the brim with bodies.
bites her bottom lip, her eyes staying on the edge of the white ceramic bowl. the smell of the meat sauce fills the small space between the counter and the stove, making it hard to look away. she knows she should probably just thank him and walk back, but she hasn't had anything that required an actual stove in three weeks. the frozen pizzas in her own freezer just taste like cardboard and cardboard doesn't satisfy anything. plus he is already standing there with two plates in his hands, which makes the choice feel like it has already been decided for her. “ i shouldn't, ” she says, her nose scrunching up as she presses her mouth into a straight line to simulate a smile. she watches him slide the second plate. “ but since i'm gonna pay anyway, ” she says, her voice going up a bit at the end to make it sound like she is doing him a favor by sitting down. she lets out a short breath through her nose, looking at the steam rising from the noodles. “ might as well take my money's worth. ” she chuckles. she slides onto the chair, her thighs hitting the underside of the counter.
she takes a bite of the pasta, and it tastes significantly better than the stuff she buys at the corner bodega after her late shifts. she swallows the food quickly, keeping her eyes down so he doesn't see how relieved she is to have a hot meal. “ so... you cook and can fix stuff, ” she says, her left hand coming up to cover her mouth while she finishes the noodles. “ any girl i should be worried about coming here and completely misinterpreting this whole thing? because i just had my extension and i'd rather not have it be pulled. ”
" you're gonna pay me? " eyebrows moved up as he met her gaze. soft chuckle slipped free. " you're not going to pay me. this is what any good neighbor would've done so don't feel special. " he joked as he finished the second plate. anton moved around the island and sat down next to her. " mhm, two of many talents. " fork digs in and he's pleased with what he'd done. luckily he'd had enough things at home to make a decent meal. something he hoped would impress her.
" uhh ... not that i know of so i think you'll be fine. " charming smile taking place on his lips. " what about you? do you have a guy that'll be pissed off if he hears i helped you? " he knows she doesn't. not since she broke up with that prick ... whatever his name was. he studied her face closely to get her reaction. hope was that he could slide in smoothly soon and fill the void. food disappeared off his plate and hers too. " i can take a look at the thing later this week if you want? until then you're welcome to drop by whenever you need it. " he would make her love him — it was that simple. patience would be used until she could imagine a life with him. he wanted to consume her the way she consumed him. joey would be his, one way or the other.