Darfee

“God, I accept Your plan for me, but forgive me if I still cry everyday while trying to live with it.”

You’re at work having “one of those days” and a co-worker comes to your desk and gives you some good news that happened to them.

Tiny back story, me and this co-worker has been working together for years and never could get along. This person for the longest (and to this day) lies on me and someway always makes me the villain in their stories.

Anyway, on a day like today, where it’s just “one of those days”, I found myself in a tiny mind battle. Questions like…

1. Why are you telling me this? We ain’t’ like that

2. What do you want me to say?

3. You don’t even like me!

4. Revert to number 1.

However, with all the thoughts rushing through my head, I pulled out some joy and congratulated them. Honestly though, while there is still a filter in my head regarding them (I’m working on it), my heart is truly and indeed happy for them. And I wish them the very best in this life.

Moral of the story…

It’s one of those days yall’ where things that made sense yesterday, doesn’t make a lick of sense today.

The feeling of being overwhelmed came over me from thoughts that made me question if what I’m believing is actually true. I know that being a believer of Christ, we should always trust and believe His word and honestly I do. Like a few of you, if you’re honest, you would say yes you believe God, but the question is, how much do we believe Him.

Maybe it’s the situations in life that we find ourselves in are the ones that teaches the greatest lessons. The greater the situation the greater the lesson. If this is true, MY GUY! This lesson I’m being taught will carry me through until death cause BRO!! Sigh

As I sit at work in most of my feelings, I still somehow connect with something on the inside of me that’s saying to Trust God. God sees what we can’t and He knows what we don’t. Don’t allow what you see in the natural to detour you from what God has already said about your future.

Look, I’ve gotten to a point in my life where, if I can’t be honest with the one who knows the truth anyway, who else can I be honest with.

Sigh! Trusting God sounds nice but it’s not easy. Trusting what you believe while seeing something else both at the same time. How do you balance it?

I believe that at the end of the day, Gods word does not return to Him void. That means some way, somehow things will work out. Not in our time and sometimes not how we expect it too.

The more we communicate WITH Him the more our trust IN Him will grow.

What does trust have to do with this? Everything! Trusting the person that’s giving the promise/thing, gives us a confidence, a no doubt mentality that it has to happen/will work. Therefore in the wait of perfect timing, we can rest.

It’s really been years since I should have gotten this “thing” going and now here I am. Sounds exciting right? NOPE! Getting me to this place, unfortunately, God had to turn my life upside down and inside out. A place of being “comfortable”, is no longer a place where I reside.. ughhhh.. There are days where I can feel great and other days I’m confused and overwhelmed. Yes, I am a Christian. AND? Are we not suppose to also feel and experience life? I’m sorry if at this point you’re bothered by me being frustrated and not perfect blah blah blah and it’s ok. I promise you though, weather Christian or not, married or single, wherever you are mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually you will get something from this page.

I know what it is to be in a place where I’ve never been before, but knowing that I’m ready to LEAVE and NEVERR want to be back.

The greatest part though is that I also believe trouble doesn’t last always and things are indeed changing and turning around for my good.