Who here likes dragons? A tribute to my favourite book as a kid

always something magic, always something true - rated M

Vi grows frustrated with their identity, and with Powder. Caitlyn offers shelter and understanding.

i never felt this way before - rated T

Vi starts embracing some exciting new feelings. Cait gifts them a binder.

no other version of me i would rather be - rated E

Vi learns a few things about herself, and what makes her feel good in her body for the first time in her (or his) life. Caitlyn enjoys the benefits.

not sure i'll ever top "You just gave me a blowjob so good it changed my pronouns".

you are my signal fire - rated M

Vi is Spider-Man. Caitlyn is the girl next door.

you reflect in this heart of mine - rated E

Trans guy Vi and trans gal Cait enjoy themselves and their bodies, giving and receiving pleasure of the extremely-euphoric variety.

i could fly when i'm with you - rated E

Vi wears a packer when he sleeps, for the gender feels. Caitlyn might enjoy it even more than he does.

i don't feel like you (i don't need you to) - rated M

Caitlyn is the kind city slicker in town to visit her brother. Vi is the shy cowboy who intervenes during a moment of car trouble.

Demi Vi learns a new thing about himself while falling hard.

teenage dreams in a teenage circus - rated G

Vi and Caitlyn are rookie Pokémon trainers. Caitlyn's Squirtle can't swim.

did i stutter.

to open up my arms and give it all to you - rated E

With stronger than ever confidence in his body and identity, Vi explores new ways to enjoy intimacy with his enthusiastic partner.

all at once you are the one i have been waiting for - rated M

Vi is a charming, handsome pirate. Caitlyn is the woman he brings gifts to whenever he returns to port. She has a lot of feelings about it.

sponsored by Keira Knightley in Pirates 2.

out of all the people in the world - rated T

Caitlyn accidentally befriends Vi Vander-Lane, famous trans man athlete and goalkeeper for the Zaun City Flares. Vi very deliberately befriends Caitlyn.

call somebody closer to you - rated E

The night before she's due to return to Noxus in her dead mother's warship, Mel Medarda pays her old flame Lest a visit.

the lights you make - rated T

After a run-in with an assclown ruins his date night with Cait, Vi's sense of self is thrown off-kilter. Then he makes a new friend, and an important decision.

Teenaged Vi's journey towards starting T.

no such thing as a wrong chord - rated T

Vi gets top surgery. Finally.

what a good 'un to end on.

alcohol prep pads are also known as alcohol wipes. they are used to disinfect skin and medical equipment (among many other uses), most frequently in medical settings like hospitals, care homes, blood draw centers, anywhere some kind of medical thing goes on or into some kind of skin. these wipes are supposed to be sterile and safe to use directly on punctured skin. so you typically do not want to find life-threatening microbes in there.

pro tip: alcohol prep pads work great for disinfecting anything capable of taking isopropyl! such as (certain types of) phone cases, remote controls, doorknobs. think hand sanitizer but without the extra ingredients. just make sure the surface in question gets thoroughly wet and you know which objects and materials are damaged by isopropyl alcohol, like a ton of fountain pens.

the recalled alcohol wipes are large 70% webcol by cardinal health, which are contaminated with paenibacillus phoenicis. which can kill you. and unfortunately, as it turns out, is not killed by 70% isopropyl alcohol. recalled lots are at the bottom under the cut! really long list. over 300 lots are being recalled, cardinal health waited almost 3 weeks to publicly announce the recall despite reaching out to major customers on march 2nd, and it is fairly difficult to even find the recall on cardinal health's website. overall, this recall is not a good look for cardinal health and webcol, and they could be trying a hell of a lot harder not to harm people with their own contaminated products.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE / DUBLIN, Ohio, March 19, 2026 – Cardinal Health has issued a voluntary recall for select lots of Webcol™ Large Alcohol Prep Pads (70% isopropyl alcohol) to the consumer level. The product is being recalled due to microbial contamination identified as Paenibacillus phoenicis.

There is a reasonable probability that use of the contaminated pads may result in local and systemic infections in at-risk populations; patients with impaired immune response, including patients with cancer receiving chemotherapy or poorly controlled diabetes, may develop life-threatening infections such as bacteremia or central nervous system infections.

The Webcol™ Alcohol Prep Pad is used for external use only and utilized for cleansing.

some emphasis mine.

all the way from dublin...ohio!

these alcohol prep pads, also called alcohol wipes, are contaminated with dangerous bacteria. this bacterial contamination is especially capable of harming people with impaired immune systems, such as from medical conditions or previously having been infected with certain types of illnesses that damage the immune system, like covid-19. infections from this bacteria can kill people or disable them for life.

alcohol prep pads are individually wrapped and are supposed to be sterile and free from germs. they are used to get rid of germs in medical settings like hospitals, make medical procedures safer, and are supposed to be safe to use directly on people with life-threatening medical conditions.

alcohol prep pads can be used on punctured human skin, medical gear, baby toys, basically anything that can take isopropyl alcohol and needs to be cleaned. these wipes are supposed to help prevent microbial infections, they are often used directly on the punctured skin of sick people, and these are often used in place of hand sanitizer before touching eyes, nose, mouth, food, etc. microbial contamination is BAD.

alcohol prep pad pro tip: sniffing an alcohol prep pad / alcohol wipe / isopropyl alcohol in general can help relieve nausea! they are really handy to have around! ones that are actually sterile, at least...

The product was distributed in the U.S., Puerto Rico and Japan between September 2025 and February 2026.

the contaminated product was distributed for around half a year. DO. NOT. USE. IT. having these microbes around you is really fucking bad. you know how paenibacillus phoenicis survives 70% isopropyl alcohol? that means it, like many other germs, survives hand sanitizers and a bunch of other cleaning products.

you are better off washing your hands! make sure you wash your hands thoroughly, under running water with soap, and then dry them thoroughly. wet hands pick up more germs. according to the US CDC, around 30% of diarrhea cases and 20% of respiratory infections are preventable with correct hand washing.

even if germs cannot be killed, they can usually be washed down the drain.

Affected Webcol™ Alcohol Prep Pad lots include the following lot numbers: See Attached Table Cardinal Health notified its customers by overnight mail on March 2, 2026, with instructions to: 1. REVIEW inventory for the affected product code. 2. SEGREGATE and quarantine all affected product upon review of inventory. 3. DISSEMINATE Cardinal Health’s notice to all departments, clinics and external campuses that handle the affected products. 4. NOTIFY any customers to whom they may have distributed or forwarded affected product about this voluntary recall. 5. RETURN the acknowledgment form via fax to 614-652-9648 or email directly to [email protected], confirming receipt of this product action.

Consumers with questions regarding this recall can contact Cardinal Health at [email protected] or call 800-292-9332 Monday-Friday between 8am and 5pm EST.

attached table is a PDF!

this 5 step action plan is actually six steps in the march 2nd vendor mail about this. those six steps were REVIEW, COMMUNICATE, SEGREGATE, DISSEMINATE, DISTRIBUTORS, and RETURN. why are there two different versions of this? was someone embarrassed because DISTRIBUTORS is not a verb? why were they embarrassed about COMMUNICATE? this is really minor but what in the corporate bullshit, cardinal health should really have clearer and more consistent communication for life-threatening recalls.

this recall actually began march 2nd 2026, a public company announcement was made march 19th, and a public FDA recall announcement only happened yesterday, march 20th. why did it take three weeks. was it the verb thing

also missing from this FDA-version recall announcement that was present in the march 2nd version:

Return of Product and Available Assistance:

CONTACT the appropriate Customer Service group to arrange return of the affected product. Representatives can also answer questions relating to credit, replacement, and suitable alternative products. Monday – Friday between 8:00am - 5pm EST: • Hospital – 800-964-5227 • Federal Government – 800-444-1166 • Distributor – 800-635-6021 • All Other Customers – 888-444-5440

For questions related to this notification and/or acknowledgement form that are not adequately addressed in this letter, please contact the market action team at: [email protected] or call 800-292-9332

basically, refunds are available, but the process seems to be a pain in the ass! this whole recall seems to be a pain in the ass!

on the cardinal health website there is no major apparent acknowledgement of the recall on the front page, and the search gave me (rune) an error when I searched "recall". hey that fucking sucks! you should have a page that pops up when you search recall! but they do have a recall notice up, on the newsroom website and not the main website. this recall announcement is not easy or intuitive for a first time visitor or prospective customer to find on the manufacturer's main website, which is shitty!

important to note: alcohol prep pads are frequently purchased by individuals and not just major medical facilities. I (rune!) am holding a curad alcohol prep pad right now. they frequently get bought and resold in bulk from unofficial vendors, or just sold in normal stores. there is no way in hell everyone with these alcohol wipes knows about this recall, especially considering over three hundred fucking lots are being recalled here. but most medical facilities should have been contacted by now.

Consumers should contact their physician or healthcare provider if they have experienced any problems that may be related to taking or using this drug product.

and if you think you have an infection, consider whether or not you might want to be in the emergency room. because bacteria in the blood can kill you really bad.

Adverse reactions or quality problems experienced with the use of this product may be reported to the FDA's MedWatch Adverse Event Reporting program either online, by regular mail or by fax.

Complete and submit the report Online: www.fda.gov/medwatch/report.htm

Regular Mail or Fax: Download form www.fda.gov/MedWatch/getforms.htm or call 1-800-332-1088 to request a reporting form, then complete and return to the address on the pre-addressed form, or submit by fax to 1-800-FDA-0178

REPORT ADVERSE EVENTS!!! SAVE LIVES!!!

not listed in this recall announcement, for whatever reason, is the comment that no harm as a result of this contamination has been (directly?) reported yet.

Cardinal Health has not received any reports of harm or adverse events.

hooray! except this ultimately means very little because infections from medical facilities are so fucking common that very few would get investigated to the point of being able to identify an alcohol wipe as the source of an infection. if a patient asked "could the alcohol wipe be contaminated" they would probably get laughed at which is just pissing me (rune!!) off. getting mad. end of example

and possibly its lack of inclusion in the FDA recall announcement means adverse events have been reported since march 2nd. basically, chances are, yeah. someone was probably already harmed from this.

What is the issue? The Webcol™ Large Alcohol Prep Pads have been deemed non-sterile following the discovery of a contaminant (Paenibacillus phoenicis) during a routine sterilization dose audit.

judging by the lots dating back to september 2025, it seems to be a ~6 month routine audit. might want to make it every three months...

What is the risk to health? The contaminant has a low probability of detection and may pose a potential infection risk to vulnerable groups such as critically ill, immunocompromised, neonatal, and pediatric patients.

...because apparently this contaminant fucking sucks to find despite being deadly. or maybe they mean that it took this long for this contaminant to be detected using their own audits. maybe they should do better audits. nowhere in these recall communications is actually a promise to do better and enact any significant change. they had three weeks to come up with something better than:

What other actions is Cardinal Health taking? Cardinal Health is currently notifying customers and will complete appropriate corrective actions to recover impacted products.

have you considered having less contamination too? more frequent audits? better testing? or even telling your customers how the alcohol prep pads got contaminated to begin with, and what is being done to prevent it from happening again? nah?? alright

and finally, the list of recalled lots! here we go. LONG LIST BELOW THE CUT!