dancingto5sos

those meows: “wait for me, wait for me!”

this video nourishes me

i hope i’m not just a mutual to you but also an enemy and a whore

i found out yesterday while my grandpa was helping me move that he consistently carries four knives on him at all times. it’s as natural as carrying around his phone and wallet for him. he says if anyone ever attacks him and takes his first knife, they’re in for a surprise. if they take his second knife? another surprise. his third knife? buddy, you’re in for a treat: another knife

i told knife grandpa this post got famous and he got real paranoid as if suddenly everyone everywhere is going to know he has all these knives on him

What’s up with the fairly recent trend of leap years all being bad fucking years like 2008? Shit. 2012? Fucking shit. 2016? Absolute fucking shit. I’m just gonna predict 2020 is gonna be the Most Absolute Stinky Piece of Shit year to date

Date of Origin: July 3, 2018

Really hate how “mommy and daddy issues” just a jab at the child and not the parent

Oh, so your parent(s) traumatized you when you were vulnerable and defenseless, and they let you down when you were reliant on them for your emotional needs? Lol idiot.

last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.