Kill Me Softly

It was all so, cold. Unbearably cold. All sounds were incredibly muffled and fuzzy. And it was dark, quite dark. Where… were you?

“This pod has something in it!” The first clear thing you were able to hear, you clumsily reached out only to be met with numbing frost. You tried to call out but your throat was so dry that nothing came out.

“Well open it!” A voice similar to the first demanded, you felt so exhausted. So weak. A blast of warm air suddenly hit you and cracks of light flooded your senses, it was all too much. You felt on fire, you were blinded and it was hard to breathe. You gasped and coughed holding onto yourself for comfort through the pain.

“Kriff its a person! Quick a medic!” Someone shouted and their voice was deafening, you felt hands as hot as lava touch you. You weakly flinched and they ignored your attempts to get away. You were gently scooped into strong arms as you gasped to breathe. Everything was too hot now, everything was too loud, too bright. Everything was too much. And the air felt heavy and each gasp of air you sucked in was like gulping it. You were so so weak, and everything seemed to grow so so far away.

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Beeps, you heard beeps. You groaned and it sounded like the croaking of a toad coming out of your throat. You slowly cracked your eyes and was met with dim lights. You felt a terrible weight in your lungs and as you shifted around, you realized you had a line of oxygen. You scanned your surroundings with sore eyes, seeing it was a white sterile looking room. A hospital room, but with no window. And the door’s window was covered with closed blinds, you were able to tell that bright lights were on the other side. The light burned and caused your eyes to water just looking at it. You turned away and felt the tug of the various cords and wires hooked to you. You still felt so weak. You heard the cracking of the door opening and the room filled with a blinding light, you screwed your eyes closed.

“Oh sorry” A familiar voice apologized, one of the voices from before. The lights dimmed back to a bearable amount, and you fluttered your heavy eyelids open. You glanced over to the owner of the voice, and if you weren’t so dead tired. You would’ve blushed. He was a handsome man, with a curly blonde buzz.He had a dark complexion, thick dark eyebrows and very kissable lips. He was also in mostly white armor with blue designs, the armor was scuffed seeing a fair amount of use.

“You must be confused” He spoke softly, coming closer to you. You realized you were simply staring at him for a little too long, but couldn’t take your eyes off of him. He dragged a chair that was out of your sight over and sat near the bed facing you.

“The names Rex” He introduced and held a hand up, “And don’t try speaking right now, I know you’re not feeling well enough.” He said gently with a small smile, he seemed so welcoming and comforting. You huffed in response, the only thing that didn’t bring too much pain. His smile widened at your huff.

“Glad to see you still have strength in you, I’ve been checking up on you. You gave all of us quite the scare back there” As he spoke he noticed your brow cock up in confusion.

“Ah right, they said it was possible…” He muttered to himself, glancing away in brief thought.

“I don’t want to overwhelm you while you’re still recovering” He started turning his attention back onto you, you grunted at him. His eyes softened at hearing the dryness in your throat and feeling the desperation of your grunt.

“I should let them know you’re awake-” He began to stand but you reached out far enough to grab hold of his hand. He froze looking at you, panting and struggling just to be able to hold onto his hand. You were still so cold, and his hand felt so warm. And you were scared and confused, and-

“Ple-ase… don’t go” You croaked out your head dipping low from embarrassment and your body screamed at you to settle back down. You didn't want to be alone, not even for a moment.

“Woah! Lay back down, you’re still hurt!” He rushed to your side and gently laid you back down. You refused to let go of his warm hand the entire time.

“I won’t leave okay?” He whispered and then cupped your hand in both of his. He sighed, settling down in the chair next to you.

“You’re still so cold” He murmured, rubbing a thumb against your hand. His hands were so warm and you suddenly became aware of all the cold aches in your body. You dryly gulped trying to ease your scratchy throat, and Rex noticed this.

“I’ll press the button so they can at least get you some water” He slipped a hand away from you and reached behind you. Hearing a buzz sound from behind your head, it was a faint sound but everything also seemed so loud. You were overtly sensitive to everything, you could swear you felt Rex’s heart beat in his hands. He took his other hand from you and you let out a creaky whine at the loss of much needed heat.

“Sorry” He muttered as you watched him slip the black gloves off his hands, gloves you didn’t even notice til now.

“This should help warm you up a little” He stated reaching out to hold your hand, it felt like a fire holding onto you.

“I’ll have them bring blankets too, you’ve been frozen for long enough” He seemed to say the last part under his breath, though you were able to hear everything he’s said so far. Your eyes fluttered closed as you focused on the heat of his hands, the gentle beat of his heart in his fingertips. His slow and steady breathing, the circles his thumb rubbed on your hand. How the cold aches left your hand. This was much much better than before.

~                                                    ~                                               ~

You opened your eyes feeling warmth for what seemed like the first time, the lights were brighter in the room. You noticed layers of blankets were weighing you down, and you noted that breathing was much easier now. You grunted as you moved to sit up, feeling strength in your body for the first time.

“Hey there” A voice said groggily, you glanced over to see Rex. It looked like he had fallen asleep in the chair, and you felt butterflies bubble up. His upper body was out of his armor and in a tight form fitting black bodysuit. His eyes seemed to widen slightly looking at you, but quickly turned to a soft smile.

“You’re looking a lot stronger now” He straightened his back, his hands were still ungloved.

“Th-” You coughed and Rex immediately sprang to action. He grabbed a small cup of water that was with a tray of food nearby. He bent down and held onto your shoulder holding the cup to your lips.

“Here, drink” He softly said, pouring a small amount of water into your mouth. You began to gulp down the water greedily, feeling a small trail of water down your face. You reached up to hold onto his arm in your desperation for water, and he was still hot to the touch.

“Good job” He took the empty cup away and wiped off the water trail on your face. The two of your eyes met as his fingers lingered on you.

“Thank you” You said weakly, and he pulled away clearing his throat.

“O-Of course!” He put the empty cup away and sat back down. You could feel his lingering touch still, and how gentle he was with you.

“Why…” You started and your gaze moved down to your twiddling thumbs, “why are you being so… kind to me? You don’t even know who I am” You asked with your newfound voice and strength. There was a moment of silence, and you didn’t dare to look up.

“You’re right, I don’t know who you are… So, what’s your name?” You glanced up at him and you opened your mouth to speak but paused. What, what was your name again?

“It’s… It’s uh…” You muttered as you racked your mind for it, why was this so difficult?

“Y/N” You said, unsure of yourself, bringing arms up to wrap around yourself as realization dawned onto you. You can’t remember much of anything, you barely remember your first name. Why?

“Y/N…” Rex whispered before his face turned serious, “I’m sure you have questions…” He seemed to look for the right words before continuing.

“You were found by me and my men on a mission, stuck in a cryopod.” His gaze shifted away from you.

“Cryopod?” You blurted out, feeling panic and confusion rising in you.

“Yes, we still don’t know for how long exactly but… you’ve been in cryosleep for longer than is protocol. There are… complications from that” You looked down at the blankets over you as you held yourself, feeling like you were about to fall through the floor.

“It seems one of the complications is memory loss… We don’t know if that is caused by prolonged cryosleep or… from before you were put into cryo.”

“Before…?” You breathed, feeling your chest growing tight.

“Y/N, what do you remember?” Rex softened his voice, placing a hand on your leg. His touch drew your attention back to him, you turned to him still holding onto yourself as if it was the only thing that kept you from disappearing through the floor.

“I- I don’t” You shook your head, feeling tears begin to form.

“I don’t remember anything” You whispered, trying to fight the lump forming in your throat.

“It’s okay, you’re safe” Rex reassured and you dipped your head low as you tried to wrap your head around it all. You’ve been frozen for a long time. And you have nearly no memory of your life before. You clasped a hand over your mouth as it hit you that you been frozen for years. Many many years, there’s a possibility that anything you had before was dead and gone. You felt so alone.

“You- you said you and your men?” You croaked out, and Rex nodded.

“Yes, the 501st of the grand republic army” Your eyes lit up with recognition, you remembered the republic. The 501st didn’t ring a bell though.

“And where did you… find me?” You asked and Rex laid back in his chair seeing you calm down slightly.

“Inside an abandoned facility on a remote planet… it… was a miracle that you were still alive. The power source was about to run out completely” Rex shifted in the chair.

“The boys are still trying to salvage what data they could scrape from the hardware there but… most of it was already wiped or been corrupted” He seemed disturbed by something, which made your anxiety worsen.

“There’s not much else I’m able to say, the general will come visit soon now that you’re awake…” His eyes betrayed his confident voice and you saw worry behind them, he stood up out of the chair.

“I shou-“ You reached out to him again like before and he froze up.

“I-” You quickly let go of him in embarrassment, he’s been the only thing besides this room and the unbearable cold you’ve interacted with since waking. You were scared to even lose sight of him, you cleared your throat.

“You never answered me on why you are so kind to me” Rex seemed a bit taken back but turned to you giving his full attention.

“Why wouldn’t I?” He shrugged and you relaxed onto the bed hearing that.

“I see” You muttered, feeling a ping of disappointment.

“I need to inform the General, it's been a pleasure Y/N” Rex gave a salute and then left the white sterile room that was your world. You sunk into the bed, your mind a whirlwind.

No memories, and you’re left with a nagging feeling you can’t name. And you grew heavily attached to a random man, who’s shown you nothing but extreme patience. You don’t even know what you look like, or who you are.

Staring at your hands you examined them trying to find a clue on who you were. But to no avail, you are left with only a growing number of questions all without answers. And who was this General? You immediately had the image of an uncaring older man come to mind, and you frowned. You were not excited about meeting the General. You sat in the deafening silence with a pout, feeling the cold trying to creep into your hands and feet.

This loneliness felt all too familiar. You hated it. Every footstep that passed your door made your ears perk up and caused a sadness to settle in your chest. You touched your face, mapping out your features. You wondered what Rex thought when he looked at you, what he saw. Your head shot up at the sound of footsteps approaching with intent towards your door. Your face contorted into one of pure confusion when the face of Rex popped in, but his hair and demeanor was completely and utterly different. Including the outfit, it was like an entirely different person with the same face.

“Wha-” You started but couldn’t find the words and your mouth was simply agape.