Guayabajuice

Guys, I found a cat and she wants to come home with me.

Showdown of the Professor's Pet

lily evans my leige ;)

Maybe it's because 'the truth will destroy them' is one of my all-time, top ten tropes, but I think Bellamort actually fits this.

While I do enjoy the Gomez/Morticia-esque dynamic they're often characterized with, I think they're not so straightforward as murder wife/husband.

(1) Riddled with secrets

Re: my earlier, slightly-heretical post, bellatrix lestrange is not in love with tom riddle (and she would die of mortification if she found out)' I don't believe that Voldemort's backstory is common knowledge amongst even the inner circle of Death Eaters, and Lucius not reacting when Harry taunts Bellatrix about Voldemort's blood status, imo, is insufficient evidence to suggest otherwise.

Bellatrix (in the Bellamort ship/fandom) is characterized as being a 'he's one of the good ones' type of blood supremacist, which would explain why she would be bigoted againsy even half-bloods yet become Voldemort's follower and lover. What I think this neglects is that both the family Bellatrix was born into (the Blacks) and married into (the Lestranges) are two of the most blood supremacist families. Draco Malfoy, for example, calls Hermione a Mudblood and Ron a poor, but he never insults Harry's blood status. The Blacks and Lestrange are probably second only to the Gaunts in terms of the bigotry, and the Gaunts inbred themselves to death. The Blacks are not far off, with Sirius and Regulus's parents, Orion and Walburga, being cousins.

All this is to say, Bellatrix is more than likely beyond the point of being a 'one of the good ones' type of bigot. She loses her temper at Harry, not because she knows the truth and he hit a nerve, but because the idea of the great Lord Voldemort coming from the same dirty, filthy stock as Harry Potter is, well... heresy.

People who write/meta exclusively about Tom Riddle pre-1970s are often accused of forgetting that he's also Voldemort, which can happen, but I think it's equally common for those to focus on Voldemort during/post-rise to power to forget that he's Tom Riddle.

Therefore, on the other hand, I think it's safe to assume that TMR/LV is keeping secrets from everyone. (ref: my #many faces of tag and many faces of tom riddle masterpost for the extended version of my Tom Riddle hot takes).

The relevant summary is that even as Voldemort, he is extremely insecure and ashamed of his blood status. Voldemort is terrified of dying, and terrified of inadequacy, both of which lead to his inevitable downfall through his fixation on killing Harry. If he values Bellatrix's opinion and wants her to think highly of him (unlike Harry and Peter Pettigrew, whom he tells in the graveyard), he would never, ever, ever tell her his father is a Muggle -- his pride just wouldn't allow him to.

(2) Blood is thin, I guess?

The idea that Bellatrix's love for Voldemort is so powerful it can override her bigotry is romantic, yes, but perhaps a little unfounded based on her other relationships. Although we don't know much about Andromeda, Narcissa and Bellatrix seem close, so it's not a stretch to assume all three sisters are close, too.

(I promise I'm going somewhere with this)

Bellatrix and Andromeda grow up together for >18 years, but their sisterly love cannot survive Andromeda's rejection of blood supremacy, in Bellatrix's eyes, her marriage to a Muggle-born and half-blood child.

At the beginning of Deathly Hallows, at the Death Eater meeting, Voldemort teases (very mean-spiritedly) Narcissa and Bellatrix about (half-blood) Nymphadora's marriage to (half-blood) Remus. Bellatrix is extremely offended by this and eagerly accepts Voldemort's suggestion that she 'prune' her family tree.

You can say that Nymphadora and Andromeda are different people, and they are, but the whole Bellatrix/Nymphadora beef shows that Bellatrix is not influenced by her (once) love for her sister, or least, blood purity is much more important to her.

The elevation of blood purity above family bonds suggests that Bellatrix (a talented Occlumens) is very, very good at compartmentalizing her feelings from the ideology she believes in.

(3) You like me and want to be me so much, it makes you look stupid

The other thing about Bellamort, is why even? Why would Voldemort, who is a character who's depicted to have a, let's say, hard time with love, be romantically or otherwise attracted to someone?

Yes, Bellatrix is smart, and beautiful, and powerful, and from a very established and wealthy wizarding family, but why is Voldemort so impressed by all this?

Sometimes we find people attractive because we want to be them. Not in a Saltburn-esque, drinking bathwater and wearing their skin kind of way, but nonetheless. Bellatrix's circumstances, of being born into a pureblood family and likely having at least a decent childhood, is something Voldemort covets but can never achieve.

For Bellatrix's part, she quite literally worships Voldemort, which is strange, because unlike, say, Pettigrew, obsequiousness does not become her -- when dealing with anyone else, she is always haughty and often belligerent.

All her life, Bellatrix had been taught to believe that people who are not pureblood witches and wizards are far below her, half-bloods included. The fact Tom Riddle was raised as Muggle, no doubt, would also disgust her. Some say that Bellatrix might make an exception for Voldemort because he's powerful, but I doubt it. I think this suggestion neglects that not only is stubbornness one of Bellatrix's key personality traits, but she is one of the most stubborn, hard-headed characters in the whole canon.

Notably, wand stiffness/floppiness is correlated with the mindset of the owner, and Bellatrix's wand is unyielding, just like her. The world bends to her mindset. Not the other way around.

LMAO LIT SHU WHEN HE GOT SENT TO THE NORTH POLEE

Original title: 彼が貴女の誕生日をお祝いするCD

Audio: Here (Audio belongs to @dl-drama-cd)

Note: Since today is Kino's birthday, I decided to translate this CD. I swear it's so sweet!!! I mean, I can't help but add this CD to my favorites. It's really cute. just a shame it's so short 😭

___________Translation is here____________

[0:03] "Hey, wake up. I went out of my way to wake you, so why won’t you open your eyes?"

[0:17] "Come on, wake up. You usually get up so quickly. What's with you today?"

[0:30] "If you're really going to keep sleeping, I might just do this... and that... You sure you want that?"

/Yui suddenly sits up/

[0:45] "Aw, too bad. You're awake. I was planning to mess with you more. Just kidding. Good morning."

[0:57] "Hey, let me ask you something. You remember what today is, right?"

/Yui shakes her head/

[1:08] "No way... Don't tell me you really forgot? It's your birthday today, isn’t it?"

[1:19] "Exactly. You're always like this, worrying about others and forgetting yourself. Of course, I'd never forget your birthday. That's why I'm taking you out today. No complaints. Go get ready."

[1:49] "I'm going to show you around the Demon World. There are lots of places you'll love, so look forward to it."

*Time skip*

[2:04] "Are you done changing?"

[2:08] "Hmm, you look more polished than usual today."

[2:15] "Not bad. Kinda cute."

[2:18] "Alright. Looks like we're all set."

[2:22] "Wait a sec."

[2:27] "Hm? Oh right, I was just checking the rankings in that app I'm into lately."

/Yui wonders about signal in the Demon World/

[2:36] "Yeah yeah, there's no signal here, but if the app's downloaded, it still works."

[2:46] "Anyway, stop frowning. Let’s go."

—Sound of door closing—

*Time skip*

[2:59] "It’s been a while since I came here, but it’s just as lively as ever. Maybe it's 'cause where we live is pretty quiet now."

[3:11] "Here, take my hand so we don't get separated."

[3:18] "Hehe, holding hands like this really makes it feel like a proper date, right? You think so too?"

[3:29] "Alright then, let’s start by grabbing some snacks. I think there was a place around here..."

[3:36] "Ah, there it is. I heard that crepe stand is amazing. Let’s try it."

/They walk to the stand/

[3:46] "Let’s see what they’ve got..."

[3:50] "Wow, just like the rumors say - tons of options. What should I pick..."

[4:01] "Very Demon World-esque. Nothing like what you'd find in the Human World. Have you decided yet?"

/Yui picks her crepe/

[4:11] "Oh, the Demon World's Strawberry crepe? Nice choice. Looks good too."

[4:19] "Hmm... then I’ll go with the "Starlight Shards" crepe."

[4:27] "One Demon Strawberry and one Starlight Shards crepe, please."

[4:37] "Whoa, that was fast. Thanks, sir. Here’s yours."

[4:49] "I picked this one because of the name. These little sugar stars on top of the whipped cream must be the 'starlight shards.' Looks tasty. Wonder what it tastes like."

[5:05] "Whoa, your crepe's color is seriously intense. Hope it doesn’t have actual poison in it."

[5:16] "Only one way to find out. Take a bite."

[5:25] "Come on, eat it. What are you hesitating for? I bought it for you, you know. Don’t tell me you’re not going to eat it."

/Yui takes a bite/

[5:42] "You ate it! Good job. So? How is it?"

/Yui says it's delicious/

[5:50] "See? Looks can be deceiving. It’s actually amazing. Super popular in the Demon World, too."

/Yui asks how Kino knows/

[6:01] "Of course I know. I was just teasing to see how you’d react. And it was perfect. Your face was hilarious."

/She sulks/

[6:13] "Don't pout like that."

[6:16] "Alright, I’ll give it a try now. Itadakimasu~"

/Kino starts eating/

[6:22] "Whoa! It's popping in my mouth! What the heck? But it’s super tasty!"

/He munches loudly and nonstop/

[6:38] "Why are you staring at me like that?"

[6:44] "Are you curious about my crepe?"

/Yui nods/

[6:50] "Alright, alright. I’m generous. I’ll give you a bite. Here, say 'ahh~'"

[7:04] "Haha, you're such a klutz. You got cream on your nose."

[7:08] "Seriously, right on the tip."

[7:13] "It wasn’t on purpose, I swear. But, you’re just gonna leave it there?"

[7:23] "Hold up. I got this. Stay still."

/Kino licks the cream off Yui’s nose/

[7:36] "Mmm, sweet. There, all clean."

[7:43] "Forget what others are thinking. Let them stare. Might as well show off a bit."

[7:50] "Want me to do it again?"

[7:53] "Haha, you’re blushing already. You're seriously cute."

/She blushes more/

[8:05] "Now you’re even redder. Your expressions change so much, I never get bored watching you."

[8:13] "Alright, we're done here. Let's head to the next spot."

*Time skip*

[8:24] "Ugh, I’m so full. They have so many foods we don’t get in the Human World. Cool, right?"

[8:34] "Heh, glad you’re enjoying it. Now, where should I take you next..."

[8:44] "Hm? Something wrong?"

/Yui asks about Kino’s phone/

[8:51] "Oh, my phone? Yeah, I’m usually glued to it. But not today. Just enjoy the moment."

[9:01] "It’s fine, we don’t have to find a place to game. Let’s just keep going."

/She says Kino doesn’t have to force himself/

[9:11] "I’m not forcing anything. I’m really okay. I mean, it’s your birthday today."

[9:21] "Ugh, I wasn’t gonna say it out loud... You’re usually so clueless, but you catch on to this kind of thing really quick."

[9:34] "Yeah, I’m always on my phone, but not today. I promised myself I wouldn’t."

[9:42] "Because today’s your birthday. I didn’t want to waste this special day glued to my phone."

[9:54] "When you celebrated my birthday, I realized what it felt like to have someone call your birth a special thing. So I wanted to give that feeling back to you."

[10:18] "If I’m stuck on games, I can’t tell if you’re actually happy."

[10:26] "I want to see your happy face, your excited eyes. All those little expressions you make, I don’t want to miss any of them. That’s why I turned off my phone before we left. If it’s on, I might check it out of habit."

/Yui says she’s really happy/

[10:54] "Really? I’m glad. I wasn’t going to say anything since it’s kinda lame. But if it made you smile, it was worth it."

[11:06] "Still, it’s a bit early to be thanking me. The date’s not over yet. I’m taking you to a place Yuri recommended next. I heard it’s amazing."

[11:21] "Alright, let’s go."

[11:24] "Wait… there’s one last thing I forgot to say."

[11:32] "Happy Birthday. I had to say it, right?"

[11:41] "Next year, and the year after that, I want to celebrate with you too. Just the two of us. Because I want to see your smiling face like this every single year."

(NOT YOU HITTING MY FAVOURITE TOPIC TO DISCUSS EVER. I AM AFRAID YOU OPENED UP A CAN OF WORMS. one caveat—I hate most of the heaven scenarios and will be subsequently ignoring them lul)

1. subaru: the reason i’m still in diahell, even after over a decade

subaru is the embodiment of nihilism and deeply internalized self-hatred—a walking scar shaped by a profoundly traumatic childhood. he doesn’t simply feel broken; he knows he is, and that knowledge poisons every one of his relationships. his worldview, darkened by the circumstances of his birth, becomes a rejection of traditional masculinity—especially those toxic, violent ideals often glorified (rape culture, dominance, control). and yet, he falters in that rejection, sometimes trying to perform (but ultimately failing) those very roles out of self-loathing—trying to affirm his “filthy” nature, as if leaning into it will make the pain mean something

what’s devastating is how aware he is of the damage he causes. the people around him are often just collateral in his spiral, and he knows it. despite that, his devotion to his mother is sincere—even when the pain of constantly being compared to his father threatens to shatter him. the dissociation is real, but he still chooses love. and when it comes to yui… god. watching him, in every route, brute-force his way toward protecting her—not because he believes he’s worthy of her, but because he chooses to, even in death? that’s the core of his tragic agency. especially in the brute ending, where he prevents her from being lost to cordelia—he doesn’t do it to play hero, he does it because she matters, not just as a symbol, but as a person

there’s something devastatingly beautiful in how he admires yui’s strength—not just her kindness or morality, but her unwavering sense of self. she could lean on god. she could lean on him. but she doesn’t. that restraint gives him the space to finally act—not out of obligation, not as a savior, but from choice. it’s the first time he’s not reliving his trauma with his mother, but creating something new

and that love scene in ecstasy 10? easily one of the most romantic things i’ve read in years. every word of it feels earned. not because it’s some idealized fantasy, but because it’s raw, hard-won, and honest. they don’t find salvation in each other—they find the freedom to choose one another

2. laito: my favourite depiction of him—i.e., he is unfixable here and I prefer him that way—oops

i think the best place to start is with a quote from shuu, who calls laito a “fake pervert.” and honestly? that’s the most incisive read anyone in-universe gives him. because laito isn’t just a pervert—he’s a performance of perversion. he wears whatever mask suits the moment, not just to seduce, but to displace his own self-hatred. his entire persona is constructed around this idea that if he can turn everything into a game—if he can reduce you to just another “bitch-chan” or “toy”—then maybe he can avoid confronting the rot underneath. connection doesn’t interest him. confirmation does. confirmation that mother was right about what he is. that closeness is always a kind of ruin. and that anyone who touches him will become tainted, too

that’s the genius of his character: you never really know where he stands. every word, every gesture is curated—part affection, part threat. his speech is so wrapped in sugar and teasing that you stop noticing how violent it is. he draws you in with a gentle voice, then says something cruel with a smile so soft it disorients you. and in that confusion, you start to bend. that’s the game. that’s the trap. he shifts the dynamic constantly, never letting you find solid ground. and in that process, you stop being a person. you become a role. a mirror. the stage he performs himself on

his end goal isn’t just ownership—it’s belief. he wants you to agree. to say the words back to him. to believe you were always his, that you were made for this, made for him. not because there’s anything tender beneath it, but because repetition can become reality. if he can make you speak the script often enough, maybe it’ll drown out that unbearable silence—the one he was left in after cordelia, after the abuse, after the world taught him that love is just another word for pain

3. shu: the practice of apathy to avoid feeling 

shuu doesn’t drift through life because he’s indifferent. he does it because apathy is safer. it’s a habit, not a flaw. a system he’s built over time to keep himself untouched. he’s not emotionally absent—he’s deliberately unreachable

after edgar’s death, he learned quickly that attachment only leads to loss, and feeling anything at all is a liability. since then, distance has been the rule. he stops participating, stops trying, lets the world move around him while he stays still. the laziness, the boredom—it’s a smokescreen. if he’s quiet enough, maybe no one will ask for more

yui doesn’t break this wall dramatically—she just doesn’t leave. and that, more than anything, forces him to adjust. she doesn’t push for access, she just stays present. and in doing so, she becomes an irritant. a reminder that time is still passing. that silence isn’t immunity—it’s stagnation

he keeps playing up yui’s “perverseness” because sex allows him a layer of detachment. physical contact without emotional exposure. it’s a way to keep control, to maintain boundaries even in intimacy. but despite the coldness, it’s clear her presence affects him. he doesn’t soften, but he registers her. bit by bit, her consistency forces him to acknowledge that he’s still capable of reacting. not changing—just reacting. it’s uncomfortable, and that discomfort is the point. she forces him to notice the gap between detachment and decay

and in the manservant ending, his confrontation with reiji reveals how far this quiet resistance goes. he’s not just fighting his brother’s control—he’s fighting the parts of himself that want to stay locked away in numbness. it’s not a victory or a breakthrough, but a refusal to disappear entirely. and at the heart of that refusal is the complicated, tangled connection he’s forged with yui—a connection built not on tenderness, but on distance, mistrust, and that carefully maintained apathy

4. reiji: the art of letting go of self-consuming obsession to confirmation from those who won’t give it

i know a lot of people put down the pigeon man, but i’m here to open thy mind. reiji’s story is one of relentless control and desperate need for approval—validation he chases but never truly receives. his fractured relationship with shuu, scarred by violent acts like burning edgar’s village, is both cause and effect of his obsession. it’s a tangled mix of rivalry, guilt, and the need to dominate the chaos within and around him

cordelia’s influence shapes much of reiji’s struggle. he once dreamed of resurrecting their mother, but he sacrifices that dream—not for power’s sake, but to protect yui from cordelia’s control. this sacrifice isn’t a simple act of surrender but a complicated choice blending duty, affection, and a rare willingness to give something up for someone else. eventually, he kills cordelia, ending her hold in a way that is both final and deeply personal

reiji’s relationship with yui is marked by tension and contradiction. he resists her disruptions to his order violently—even strangling her in the maniac route—but beneath his harsh control is a recognition that yui’s persistence isn’t like the demands of his mother or cordelia. she seeks to see the man beneath his armor, and that unsettles him far more than outright defiance

letting go for reiji means wrestling with a deeply ingrained obsession: the need to prove himself to those who won’t give him the confirmation he craves. it’s a battle to face vulnerability behind his precise control and cold exterior. it’s not surrender but a quiet, ongoing struggle—one that reveals the complexity of a man shaped by loss, duty, and unexpected connection

5. ayato: the complicated journey of being the best (which no one can be)

ayato’s relentless drive to be number one is both his greatest weapon and his heaviest burden. beneath the confident, teasing mask lies a fragile ego shaped by a childhood scarred by his mother’s brutal drowning—an attempt to purge ‘weakness’ that instead stifled his capacity for emotional connection and empathy. this trauma left him emotionally shut off, and his narcissism serves as a defensive armor for a deeply vulnerable self

yui often becomes a prop in ayato’s performance of superiority—her blood, her presence, a tool to prove he’s the best, the strongest. but his interactions with her are complicated, tinged with confusion: part prey, part prize, part threat. he struggles to decode his own feelings, often defaulting to seeing her through the lens of dominance and possession, unable to fully acknowledge the more complicated emotions underneath

his relationships with laito and shuu are defined by a constant push-and-pull—competitive, sometimes hostile, but underlined by unspoken needs for acceptance and validation that ayato rarely admits. as a child, ayato’s instinct for survival led him to distance himself from some of the darkest burdens within their family, leaving others—like laito—to carry them instead. this choice reveals the fragility beneath his fierce exterior.

his pursuit of being the best is a trap, chasing an impossible ideal born from trauma and fear. his mask cracks only rarely, and even then, the cost is high

6. kanato: creepy taxidermy write-off

i hate the fuckin’ gremlin, i am so sorry

the mood swings? unbearable. the constant screaming? exhausting. the creepy lolita trope? never worked for me, and probably never will. i get the appeal in theory—the eerie, porcelain-doll aesthetic mixed with unhinged trauma—but in execution, kanato often feels more grating than tragic. still, analyzing him? different story

as much as i can’t stand him, the psychological impact of cordelia’s abuse on kanato is fascinating. he’s what happens when sadism gets stripped of context, control, or charm. unlike ayato (who postures his sadism as dominance) or laito (who masks his under layers of flirtation and cruelty-as-survival), kanato is just pure volatility. there’s no filter, no strategy—just raw, unprocessed pain weaponized through childish tantrums and sexual violence. it’s all impulse, no restraint