Care for some smut in these trying times?

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

"He has a 12 inch cock" well my pussy ain't a fucking magicians hat bitch where is all that supposed to go

[with barely concealed lust] what the fuck is wrong with him

Sometimes you gotta make yourself drink water and sit in direct sunlight, like some kind of wilted houseplant

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

hey bro why does your speech bubble become heart shaped when we talk ? bro why did the tail on your speech bubble curl around and make a little heart shape

is there any trait less attractive than a lack of curiosity

not my circus however the monkeys appear to be holding me hostage

not my circus but i bought a ticket and now the monkeys are holding the audience members at gunpoint???