Dallas St⭐rs

geno looks like somebody tried to turn a bear into a human but lost interest halfway through the process

sid generally looks dead inside (when not doing hockey), constipated (when doing hockey), or like an alien tried to sculpt someone smiling based only on a verbal description they were given of what a smile looks like (when being chirped by the boys, looking at geno)

toews looks like a demon who tried to look like an average person but forgot to fix its eyes

jamie benn looks like a manager at applebee’s 

auston matthews looks like somebody randomized him in the sims

mitch marner looks like he’s allergic to puberty 

ovechkin looks like a caricature of a bond villain 

backstrom looks like a grown-up hansel who’s still afraid the witch will come back and eat him

TK looks like one of peter pan’s lost boys if they were allowed to grow up & no one taught them how to shave

claude giroux looks like he plays for the flyers

brock boeser looks like a male model who doesn’t know what a caterpillar is

andrei svechnikov looks like he invented the word innocence, but is also a three-time widow whose husbands have died in a series of tragic “accidents”

matthew tkachuk maybe shouldn’t make this list, but sometimes looks like the personification of catholic guilt and should be sexily punched in the face about it

carey price looks like a hot dad until someone gets too close to his crease and he turns feral

jujhar khaira looks just like. unbelievably handsome

nolan patrick looks like a handsome serial killer from the 70s whose mugshot girls would cut out of the newspaper to tape to their bedroom walls

No

what she means: