peachy keen

girlie that's not a random headache u are dehydrated malnourished over caffeinated over stressed and sleep deprived

fool me once that’s not very nice why would you do that to me

forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

thanks for the memories even if they werent so great like some say

every time you make freezer food for dinner instead of buying takeout like you actually want you should earn two hundred dollars cash and a round of applause

in another universe i am not a burden to be loved

I think we owe an apology to the Americans, looks like at least some of the issues with their healthcare system can be addressed with guns

american problems require american solutions

house is a girl you have to take care of her

the house. a house. your house. building. residence. abode. not that faggot from the tv show

I will succeed because I’m crazy