got no fame & got no aim

poor bastard… looks like the perp slapped his balls clean off

*bully voice* you will NEVEEER look like your animal crossing character. you will never have a perfectly round head and a little red triangle for a nose

Me: *screenshots thingns my girlfriend said to me so i can read it again later* Me: yeah im not gay

Dude no offense, I don’t want go sound like an sjw or anything, but if you have you have a girlfriend you’re straight. That’s just how it works.

Im a girl

What the fuck

those westerns finally make sense now. it’s like honey i’m going into town. i’ll pick up sugar, flour, beans, salt pork, bullets, and kerosene. do you want a bolt of calico? some maple syrup? i’m taking the wagon i’ll be back in three days

The number of messages I’ve failed to answer across all my devices and media platforms will be weighed against my soul on judgment day, and I will be cast into hell

imagine ur getting jumped by flat earthers and one of them say fuck it take him to the edge

new decade new milfs lets get it fellas

born to eat cheese forced to work