Hi! I’m doing ArtFight this year (for the first time). Username is DaggerHobbit. If any of my moots are doing it too, lmk so I can attack you! :)

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Today's Document

bliss lane
Misplaced Lens Cap
The Stonewall Inn
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Monterey Bay Aquarium
d e v o n
Cosimo Galluzzi
Cosmic Funnies
almost home

Andulka
Claire Keane
YOU ARE THE REASON
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
The Bowery Presents


@theartofmadeline
we're not kids anymore.
seen from Vietnam
seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from Belgium

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Canada
seen from Bangladesh
seen from India
seen from Canada
seen from France
seen from Venezuela
seen from Ukraine

seen from United States
@daggerhobbit
Hi! I’m doing ArtFight this year (for the first time). Username is DaggerHobbit. If any of my moots are doing it too, lmk so I can attack you! :)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I have three monitors on my desk. The left one shows the order book. The middle one shows Truth Social. The right one shows the investigation queue.
On April 21st, the left screen moved first.
I am a Senior Surveillance Analyst at a commodities exchange. I have held this position for nineteen years. My job is to monitor trading activity for suspicious patterns and generate compliance reports. I am employee of the quarter. I have a mug.
At 19:54 GMT on April 21st, someone placed 4,260 sell orders on Brent crude futures. They did this during post-settlement. The window after the market closes when daily volume is typically in the dozens. Sometimes single digits. Sometimes I watch the screen and nothing happens for forty minutes and I think about whether my daughter is happy.
On April 21st, someone placed $430 million in directional bets in 120 seconds during that window. One hundred and twenty seconds. I timed it on my watch because the system clock rounds to the nearest minute and I have found, in nineteen years, that precision matters to no one but me.
At 20:10 GMT, the President posted on Truth Social that he was extending the Iran ceasefire.
Brent dropped from $100.91 to $96.83.
I flagged the trade. I flag a lot of trades. I want to tell you what happens to my flags.
My flags go into a system called TRACE. Trade Review and Compliance Evaluation. I did not name it. The system generates a report. The report goes to a committee. The committee has a name I am not allowed to share but I can tell you it meets quarterly and the conference room has a credenza with bottled water that is sparkling because someone once put still water in the room and a managing director sent an email about it that was longer than most of my surveillance reports.
The committee reviews my flags. The committee has reviewed all of my flags. Here is the complete record of actions taken on my flags in 2026:
Reviewed.
That's it. "Reviewed" is a status. In compliance, a status is the absence of an action that has been given a name so it looks like one.
Let me show you my flags.
March 9th. Someone bet millions on oil falling at 18:29 GMT. Forty-seven minutes later, a CBS reporter posted that the President said the Iran war was "very complete, pretty much." Oil dropped 25%. Forty-seven minutes. I flagged it.
March 23rd. Someone sold 5,100 lots of Brent and WTI crude futures between 10:49 and 10:50 GMT. Fourteen minutes later, the President posted on Truth Social about a "COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION" to hostilities. Oil dropped 11%. Over 13,000 contracts traded in sixty seconds after the post. Fourteen minutes. I flagged it.
April 7th. Someone established a $950 million short position in oil futures at 19:45 GMT. Three hours later, the President declared a two-week ceasefire. Nine hundred and fifty million dollars. I flagged it.
April 17th. Someone placed $760 million in bearish bets twenty minutes before Iran's foreign minister confirmed the Strait of Hormuz would reopen. Seven hundred and sixty million. I flagged it.
April 21st. The $430 million. Fifteen minutes. I flagged it.
That is $2.1 billion in directional oil bets in April alone. Every one of them landed on the correct side of a presidential announcement. Every one of them was placed in a window so narrow you could measure it in bathroom breaks. I flagged every single one.
The CFTC chair told a Congressional committee that his organization has "zero tolerance" for fraud and insider trading. I wrote that quote on a Post-it note and stuck it to my right monitor. The one that shows the investigation queue. The investigation queue has not moved since March.
Zero tolerance. Zero staff. Zero budget. Zero prosecutions under the STOCK Act since it was signed in 2012.
Fourteen years. The law has existed for fourteen years and has been enforced zero times. In compliance, we call that a compliance rate of one hundred percent. No cases filed means no cases lost. You cannot fail an audit you never conduct. We call that excellence.
Last month the White House sent an internal email to staff. I was not on the distribution list but I have read reporting on it and I need you to sit with what I am about to say. The email instructed White House staff not to use insider information to place bets on prediction markets.
The White House had to send a memo telling its own employees not to insider-trade.
I want you to read that sentence again. Not because the instruction was unclear. Because the instruction was necessary. Because someone in the building looked at the same pattern I have been flagging for months on my three monitors and decided the appropriate response was an email.
The President's son sits on the advisory board of Kalshi. He is an investor in Polymarket. Both are prediction markets. Both saw accounts created days before U.S. military action.
One account. I cannot stop thinking about this account. It was called "Burdensome-Mix." It was created in December. On January 2nd, it placed $32,500 on Venezuela's president being removed from power. On January 3rd, Maduro was seized by U.S. special forces. Burdensome-Mix collected $436,000. Then it changed its username. Then it disappeared.
One account is a coincidence. But there were six.
Six accounts were created on Polymarket in February. All bet on U.S. strikes on Iran by the 28th. When the President confirmed the strikes, the six accounts collected $1.2 million between them. Five of the six never placed another bet. The sixth went on to correctly predict the ceasefire date and made another $163,000.
My surveillance system logged all of this. My system logs everything. My system does not have opinions and neither do I. I generate reports. The reports go to committees. The committees meet quarterly. Between meetings, the windows get shorter and the bets get larger.
March 9th: 47 minutes. March 23rd: 14 minutes. April 17th: 20 minutes. April 21st: 15 minutes.
The window is compressing. In March, you had time to make coffee between the trade and the announcement. By April, you had time to send a text. By summer, at this rate, the trade and the announcement will be the same event.
The spokesman said any implication that administration officials are engaged in insider trading is "baseless and irresponsible reporting."
Then the White House sent the email again.
I have been in compliance for nineteen years. I have seen insider trading run out of strip mall offices by men who could not spell "derivative." I have seen pump-and-dump schemes coordinated over WhatsApp by people who used their real names. I have seen a man try to manipulate soybean futures from a Panera Bread.
I have never seen $2.1 billion in perfectly timed trades across five presidential announcements in a single month go uninvestigated.
But I have also never seen a compliance system work this beautifully. Every trade flagged. Every report filed. Every committee briefed. Every quarterly meeting attended. Bottled water: sparkling. Minutes: distributed.
Zero prosecutions.
As long as the flags go up and the cases don't, my performance review says I am meeting expectations.
I am meeting expectations. The system is meeting expectations. The $2.1 billion is meeting expectations. The fourteen-year-old law with zero prosecutions is meeting expectations.
The left screen moves. The middle screen moves. The right screen stays perfectly, immaculately still.
In my field, we call this price discovery.
[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'JK Rowling posted upskirt photos of a woman on Twitter' to Cas 'I love you'. /End ID]
No one doing this should be allowed to call themselves a feminist.
The wealthy author escalated a social media spat that resulted in posting a photo from a 2023 event at the Institute of Economic Affairs in
Let's not beat around the bush: Children's author JK Rowling sexually harassed someone. In some jurisdictions, this would count as sexual abuse. JK Rowling has committed a sex crime against a woman and fell back on the old rape apologist standby of "she was asking for it".
I hope your nostalgia is worth it
update for anyone who cares: I am still mot asleep and will not be for a while
get this guy in a gothic horror asap

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todays gender is gothic literature
I have done some weird trickshots, and some difficult trickshots, but that last one is the most of both I’ve ever put together!
Love it when there’s no easy to find and make vegetarian meal options so dinner becomes a peanut butter spoon and piece of bread.
it will absolutely never be funny to me watching VD and Erins relationship go from "MWAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE ANCIENT EMBODIMENT OF DARKNESS WHO WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL AND USE YOU TO BRING ABOUT THE END OF DAYS" into "hey man do you have any games on that thing"
Apayauq Reitan, Iñupiaq musher and the first out trans woman to compete in the Iditarod

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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NEW AURORA PAGE WITH ERIN GOING THROUGH IT
Y’know that feeling when you feel so depressed and dysphoric that you can’t even shower, partially because you have no energy and everything hurts, but mostly because you can’t bear to look at your body anymore, so you turn on the water and just sit on the bathroom floor, too exhausted and in pain and depressed to even cry, but your family is traveling and staying in hotels right now so this is literally the only time you can be mostly alone and it doesn’t help that while you’re traveling is the one time your birth control decided to not work so you got your period and it’s making the pain and dysphoria so much worse but you know you can’t tell your parents about this because they don’t understand what gender dysphoria is, they expect you to be fine with different pronouns and just that, they still see you as a girl, how could they expect you to not notice that, they still expect you to be a girl, just with different pronouns, and the only thing your dad might try to do is give you a hug but the thought of anyone touching you right now makes you want to puke again and the one person who might be able to help right now is all the way across the fucking ocean and you just want to cry but you can’t and you want to rip your skin off but you can’t and sleep is impossible despite how fucking tired you are and fucking hell you’re going to have to do this whole fucking thing of acting happy and energetic and fine just fine just good actually nothing wrong here again tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that and so on.
I just want to go home.
I just want to feel like me again or for once have I ever really been myself?
We love finishing a book and immediately wanting more but finding literally only TWO fics on AO3.
When the audiobook doesn’t go fast enough so you download the pdf of the book instead
ryland grace and the world he saved

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Seagulls are evil
they attack you and steal your food
:(
grace need sleep, statement.