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Your flat echoed with an almost eerie silence, if that was even possible. You could hear Donghyuck's car skidding on the gravel as he drove away. You were meant to be spending the night together before he left to go on a small tour for a few months, but things… hadn't gone as planned.

-- 30 Minutes Earlier --

“People are still shipping you and Ningning” You had mumbled, your head resting on his shoulder as you cuddled on the sofa, occupied by your respective phones.

“You know there's nothing going on” Donghyuck hummed back, rubbing your side reassuringly.

You bit your cheek slightly, eyes no longer focused on your phone screen, but rather the coffee table that Donghyuck had his feet propped up on. You shouldn't. It wasn't worth it. “Do I?” You muttered, your voice bitter.

Donghyuck glanced down at you “Y/N dont be stupid. People know we're dating. Why would I publicly cheat on you when I have millions of people watching my every move?”

“What, so you’d privately cheat on me?” You deflected, you knew you were being stupid, you knew Donghyuck wouldn't cheat on you, but you were so tired of his lack of care about the whole situation. You needed to argue about it.

“That's not what I meant and you know it!” He said defensively, sitting up now. “Why are you being like this suddenly? You know we're just friends.” A small confused frown covered his face.

“Because I'm tired! You say that all the time, ‘oh we're just friends, we're just friends it's fine’, but you don't act like you believe it at all! Every time she's in your content you're teasing her, saying she looks pretty, hugging her. You're not convincing anyone, Donghyuck!” You exclaimed, your throat tight and voice strained. You hated arguing. “And its not even like Ningnings helping the situation, you both play into it. It's like neither of you respect me at all”

“Aishhh…” Donghyuck sighed. “What do you even want her to do about it? We're friends, are we not allowed to have friends of the opposite gender now?”

“That's not what I said at all,” You defended, your voice growing tired. “I just want her to stop. I want you to stop. I dont care if you’re friends, thats not the issue. I just want you to stop flirting with eachother.” Your voice trailed off into a whisper.

Donghyuck let out a tut-like sound, “we're not flirting with eachother.” He muttered, his arm retreating to his own lap.

You sat in silence for a moment, your tongue prodding the inside of your cheek. “No.”

Donghyuck looked at you, an eyebrow raised. “No?”

“No. I'm not doing this. Get out.” You said, standing up abruptly. “I'm done. I can't keep living like this. If you're not going to respect me you can get out of my house”

Donghyuck just stared at you, his brow furrowed, mouth slightly agape. “...ok.” He nodded, standing up equally as abruptly. He grabbed his laptop off the coffee table, shoving it in his bag, collecting his belongings that he could reach easily. “I'll get the rest when I'm back from tour.” He mumbled, briskly heading to the door of your flat, slamming it behind him as he left.

-- 3 Months Later --

The wound of your breakup with Donghyuck was still fresh, and people were still conspiring about what ever could've happened to the golden couple, Y/N and NCT's Haechan. Every time you were even remotely close to eachother you could practically smell the angsty edits being made.

You'd seen all the videos on social media of the recent tour NCT Dream had done around Korea. Seen all the fan edits, focusing on Haechan, on his distant, glazed over look, on his distractedness, on how he lacked his usual energy. Was this all because of you?

The air was thick on the M!Countdown stage, your group huddled together tightly, NCT Dream on the other side of the stage. Your respective groups were up against eachother for that weeks first place. This situation would normally be exciting, there'd be no losers. Your groups were close, a win for them was a win for you and vice versa. But not anymore. You were actually up against eachother this time. Whoever won would hold it over the others head until promotions were over. You shifted from foot to foot in anticipation. God you hoped you won, you couldn't bear to see Haechans smug face.

The points tallied up on the screen, it was close. Very close. The MC eventually announced the winner, “NCT Dream!” Your heart dropped, your members could feel it, clapping half heartedly. They all knew why you'd broken up. They knew this was hard for you. You chewed on your lip, leaving the stage as soon as you could, not caring if Netizens called you rude.

-- 🕛🕚 Sept 2025 🕙🕘 --

Haechan was on stage, up against a lesser known boy group for first place that week. After a wait that lasted an eternity his solo debut, CRZY, was announced the winner. That lovable grin graced his face, as he took the trophy. You had broken away from your group, pushing through the herd of idols to join Haechan at the front of the stage, hugging him tight. “Well done, Hyuckie” You'd whispered to him, pressing a firm kiss on his cheek. The moment had gone viral, fans and non-fans alike called it one of the best celebrity romance moments in modern pop culture. You had stayed on stage with Haechan for the whole encore, holding his hand, dancing the chorus, of the song he’d written about you, with him. You were so proud of him your heart felt like it could burst.

-- Present Day --

Your group joined you backstage a few minutes later, each of you removing your stage makeup and outfits, changing into some comfier clothes. Around an hour later you started leaving, heading to your company's waiting van. Your day couldn't get worse at this point. “Thank you~ thank you~ thank you~” The same, loud, nasally, grating, voice. Haechan. His group were thanking a rookie group for their congratulations as the rookies walked past, NCT seemingly also waiting for their company's van. Your members whispered congratulations to the group, making it obvious where they stood, with you. They couldn't just ignore them, too many staff members spread rumours these days, but you kept your mouth sealed tightly. You forced your gaze to the ground. You didn't miss him. You didn't. Something betrayed you though. Muscle memory, perhaps. Your head snapping up as you came level to Haechan, your eyes locking for no more than a second before you corrected yourself, looking away and hurrying the member infront of you so you could disappear. “I hate him. I hate him so much” You whispered once in the van, tears threatening to spill, the member you were closest with comforting you. All you could smell was his cologne, the cologne that still lingered in your flat, the cologne that you had once loved.

You headed back to your flat from your company building, the journey heavy. You couldn't help but think about how, just two months ago, this would be so different. You'd be riding shotgun in Haechan’s car, probably singing along to the song that got his group the win, the two of you would get drunk in your apartment, you'd get close, get handsy… what better reward was there? But now, now you were getting drunk for the completely opposite reason. You weren't an alcoholic, your company would put a stop to that before it'd even have a chance to develop, move you back to the groups dorm, have you supervised constantly, but youd be lying if you said you didnt find comfort in a nice full glass of red wine. You put an old album from the 70s on your vinyl record player, the soft calming songs flooding you apartment as you sipped your wine. A bottle later and you were thoroughly out of it, your head spinning, your heart hurting, your phone had developed its own gravitational pull. This was a bad idea. Anyone would agree. Your phone felt heavy in your hand as you unlocked it, the act taking a few attempts, your drunk state making you enter your password wrong. Your chat with Haechan was still pinned to the top of your messaging app. You still loved him. You didnt miss him.

[Donghyuckie…]

seen 11:37pm

The message stayed unread for an hour, within that hour you did nothing but stare at the screen, your heart leaping as ‘sent’ changed to ‘seen’.

[Stop messaging me.]

The message came as a bullet to the heart. You deserved that. You broke up with him for crying out loud. But it still hurt.

[Plesae… neeedto tlak to yuo]

Your spelling ruined by your intoxicated state. The message never got read, it didnt even deliver…. Did he block you??? You let out a whiny groan, dropping your phone to the floor and burying your head in the cushions of the sofa. They still smelt like him. You never sat on this side, it was always his side. Even after breaking up, you left it empty for him. You swapped orientation, your head resting on the opposite end, the Haechan free end. Your eyes settled on a collection of lego flowers on the other side of the room, namely the two sunflowers, standing taller than the rest of the plastic bunch.

--🕛🕚🕙🕘--

“Baby~” Haechan had hummed out, his hands stuck behind his back as he entered your flat. “I got you something”

“A gift?!” You asked excitedly, dropping the spoon you were using to stir the stew you were making for dinner.

Haechan hummed, placing the crudely wrapped box on the kitchen island.

“Can I open it now?” You asked, your fingertips already pulling at the seams. Haechan nodded silently, a small smile on his face as he watched you tear the paper off, a grin dawning on you as you saw what it was.

“For your collection” he said, pointing at the bookcase dedicated to your display of lego flora. “And to remind you of me when I'm not here~” He teased cheesily, your full sun had the prettiest smile.

You embraced him in a tight hug, kissing his cheek and thanking him before returning to the stew.

After you'd both eaten you settled on the floor of your living room, the yellow, brown, and green lego scattered between you as you both took on the kit. “Im gonna build mine quicker” Haechan mumbled playfully, squinting slightly at the instructions.

“Its not a competition” You laughed, to which he countered with “says who?”

Haechan did, in fact, build his quicker, giving him an ego boost he definitely didn't need. “Ahhhh cute… it’s me” he hummed, admiring the plastic flower “spot the difference” he said, holding it up next to his face.

“Hmmmmm… I think thats the real you” You joked, pointing to the lego.

“Close~ but not quite” He laughed.

-- Present Day --

The sunflowers did their intended job from the moment Haechan had left your flat the following day, reminding you of him every time you missed him. Reminding you of him now. Your legs wobbled beneath you as you stood up, crossing the room to the bookcase housing your lego collection. You grabbed the two yellow flowers, pulling them out of the vase they were supported in and throwing them at the wall opposite, a sob escaping your throat as yellow, brown, and green lego scattered on the floor.

You sulked to your bedroom after staring at the mess for god knows how long, collapsing onto your bed and hugging your knees to your chest. You missed him so bad. You couldn't deny it anymore. You missed your Donghyuck, your sunflower, your full sun. You were lonely. You hated how you could never fully remove his presence from your flat. He'd always be here in the memories.

----

Months had passed and you were still hurting. You still missed him. You had started taking antidepressants to ease the pain but they didn't work much. You'd been chosen to MC the Golden Disc Awards that year. That was fine. NCT Dream were nominated for multiple awards that year. That was fine. Everything was fine. You Didn't Care.

Your eyes were empty as you stared at your reflection in the dressing room. Stylists rushed around you, fixing your hair, makeup, but you were still. Vacant almost. You'd been practicing your fake smile but it was hard. You knew Haechan had moved on. That he wasn't affected by the breakup anymore. You'd seen the interviews and fan videos of him at various events. He looked happy.

Your evening was spent going back and forth, on and off stage, presenting awards to all manner of artists. You hadn't had to face Haechan yet, thankfully. His group had fallen short on votes in the categories they were nominated for, thankfully. You headed backstage for the second to last time that night, the stylists fixing your look before collecting the Daesang and heading onto stage, standing with your MC partner as they read from the script you were given. Your eyes skimmed over the sheet of paper, your saliva turning thick as they settled on the name at the bottom. This was cruel. This was so, so cruel.

“And the 2026 Artist of the year is….” Your co-host started. Of course it was your line. Of course it was. Why wouldn't it be? That'd be too easy. Too kind. Not torturous enough.

“...NCT Dream” You announced, your voice thick with distaste that you had tried your hardest to hide. You didn't think anyone could be mad at you though, really. This was a nightmare situation.

The members of NCT Dream rose from their seats, hugging each other in congratulations before heading towards the stage. Your hands were clammy, you could feel it. This would be so humiliating. You wiped your hands on your dress as the boys climbed the stairs, shaking each of their hands out of professionalism. As Haechan came level with you, you faltered, your hands snapping back to your sides before you could even shake his hand. He held his hand out, staring you down. It felt almost predatory. Your hand shook as you brought it back up, grasping his hand in yours. He shook it once firmly, a shit-eating smirk on his face. Why was he being like this? Did he enjoy seeing you suffer? It wasn't even your fault you broke up with him. HE caused it. He knows that. You moved to the side with the other MC as the group moved to the microphone, each member giving a small speech.

“...And I really want to thank everyone around me, my members, my management, the producers, the choreographers, my friends, and my family. Even those I'm not close with anymore,” Haechan spoke surely, confidently, his eyes flickering over to you towards the end of his sentence. “You've all supported me to the best of your ability and allowed me to grow into the idol I am today. You've all taught me valuable lessons.” He nodded with a soft smile.

Valuable lessons? What lesson had you possibly taught him? To not date people that stand up for themselves? He was crazy. You hated him.

-- 🕛🕚🕙🕘 --

“Ah- and finally, before I return to my seat. I'd like to announce something.” Haechan started, his neck and ears tinting red, he was nervous. You were too, you knew what he was doing. This was big. “I uh- ah sorry….” He took a deep breath, Jeno clapping him on the back for encouragement. “I've been in a relationship… for the past couple years,” he admitted finally “with Y/N.” Haechan motioned towards where your group was sitting, various reactions echoing through the crowd. Gasps, cheers, boos. No one could decide how they felt about this. “They've been nothing but amazing, so supportive, and it's due to them alone that I had the energy to perform well enough to receive this award.”

A wide smile broke out across your face, sending a large flying kiss towards Haechan as you met his eyes. He meant everything to you, you couldn't believe how lucky you were to be able to call him yours.

-- Present Day --

You watched Haechan turn and head off the stage with his group, you'd zoned out after his speech, he was ruining your life.

You headed backstage once the rest of the award show had concluded. Your heart wasn't in it after Haechan's speech, it was painfully obvious. Everyone could tell. Your manager was sure to scold you later. The corridors were full as all idols and celebrities in attendance rushed to their dressing rooms, keen to head home or to late night practices. You truthfully weren't paying attention to where you were going, letting out the most pathetic sounding squeak as you collided with someone, their hand instinctively going to your lower back to steady you.

“Oh sorry- thank… you…” You started bowing, only to lock eyes with none other than Lee Donghyuck, stepping away from him as if his mere presence was scalding.

“You should be more careful,” Haechan mumbled, his eyes scanning your face. “Unless you walked into me on purpose?” he teased slightly, the joke not landing.

“Why on earth would I do that on purpose?” Your voice came out harsher than intended. The small gathering of idols and staff had thinned out relatively quickly, everyone reaching their desired end points. “If I never saw you again it'd still be too soon.” The words slipped out. You hadn't meant to be so… rude? You just couldn't bear the thought of him right now.

“Damn. That's cold, Y/N.” Haechan chuckled. He was so unaffected it pissed you off. “You're still…. Wallowing in sadness?”

“I'm not wallowing.” You defended. “And I'm not sad. I'm… annoyed. I'm annoyed that you don't care. Annoyed that you just up and left, that you didn't even try to fight for us. For me. Not even a year later and you act as if it never happened. As if it was something as minor as your shoelace coming undone. Everything's going your way and I'm left facing the consequences for leaving someone that didn't love me as much as I loved them. I fucking hate you, Donghyuck. I hate you for not being brave. For standing up for Ningning. All I wanted was for you two to tone it down a little and you couldn't even do that to save your relationship.” Your heart was racing, chest heaving. Haechan just stood there, looking at you, a small frown etched onto his face. “And I can't even call you a waste of time because I loved you so much. So fucking much. All I do is think about us. I've not been able to stop. Memories flood my flat and all I want is for them to go dark but they won't. So be honest with me Donghyuck. Tell me something to make them go dark. Let me move on”

The silence between you was so thick you could cut through it. It was suffocating. Haechan was thinking, you could tell by the way his head tipped back slightly.

“It affected me too.” He spoke finally. “For the entirety of that mini tour, all 3 months, all I could think about was you. It was eating me apart, knowing I wouldn't be able to fall into your arms at the end of it. That's why I sent my manager to get the rest of my stuff I left at yours, I knew if I faced you myself I'd be down on my hands and knees, begging you to give me another chance.” He admitted, making your stomach drop.

“Why didn't you?”

“Because I love you. I know you deserve better than me. You deserve someone that can love you without tormenting you.” His eyes were fixed on your face now.

Love. Not loved. Love. He loves you. You couldn't do this. It was worse than the breakup itself. “I need to go.” You whispered, “I can't put myself through this again.”

Haechan nodded gently as you turned to walk away. He understood. “Hey. Maybe we can try again sometime? When we're both…. Better. More suited.”

You froze and looked over your shoulder. “Maybe.” you whispered.

------------------------.⊹˖ᯓ★. ݁₊ ------------------------

You have One message from the author

Pluto: RAHHHHHH I loved writing this honestly. I thinkkk I probably could've done a little better but I was scared it'd start getting repetitive and I'd been writing for so long, as fun as it was, I just wanted to get it posted. Ending leaves it open for a pt.2 tho 👀?

Req from: @hopelesslyneo