Usually, an obituary would have all the highlights of a personās life listed out in a very formal format for one to browse over and get a sense of what, and who, the departed has left behind. Our dear beloved, Michele Elise, was unique though. Those who knew her, even for a fleeting moment, knew she wouldnāt want to have just any old traditional obituary written about her. She would want to be celebrated. She would want to be remembered as the glowing, adventure-loving woman that she was. Michele cut up and laughed as much as she possibly could as she walked life with us.
Remembered for slamming her sippy cup down and saying her first curse word as she demanded to have some more soda in her cup. Remembered for her love of music as she played her wooden clarinet in the band before a certain curly haired, chubby armed daughter made her way into the world. Remembered for her radiant smile with dimples that lit up Dollar General as she rang people up. Remembered for giving her all to her four children even if it meant she would have just a little less for herself. Remembered for being the lovely, soothing voice that picked up the phone at Atlantic Bank/BB&T/Truist for 20+ years and said with a smile, āThis is āME-cheleā speaking. How may I help you?ā
Remembered for being the worse bank robber in history with her partner-in-crime (āJeannie! WE DID IT AGAIN!!! We forgot to turn off the alarm!ā). Remembered for how she could dance on and off the TikTok camera. Remembered for her obsession with deviled eggs at Thanksgiving and having the BEST mac nā cheese, mashed potatoes, ādiabeetusā candied yams, and Labor Day daiquiris on this side of the Eastern Shore. And LAWD help you if you try to fight her over the skin on her brown sugar and pineapple baked ham!
Her home was a comfort for her four very different children, who kept her on her toes and always busy in some way, shape, or form even after they had flew the nest. It always smelled of autumn with hazelnut cream candles warming the home with its scent as she watched the world go by through her living room storm door. Shades of cream, gold, and forest green making up the cozy haven she had created for herself and her family.
Her Mother, Uncles, an ever-growing pool of cousins and kinfolk of all generations, and those she chose to let in just knew it would always be a great time once they stepped through those doors. And PLEASE donāt ask us to list them all because this obituary would become 25 pages long with blood folk alone. We would have to edit it several times before it could be published because a new family member would crop up by then and we would have to add them to the list!
Jokes about family size aside, our Michele has left an amazing legacy of love, great food, zest for life, and amazing style behind that could never be replicated. In the simplest terms, and the most convenient definition, the world grows a bit colder as she moves on to her next adventure. So, light that good smelling candle for her. Plant a Vinca flower in your choice of color though she loved the purple-to-fuchsia variety herself. And talk about those lovely moments that will keep her essence alive as we all strive to walk on until we meet her again.
Sincerely Yours, With All of Our Love and Thanksā¦
The Teacher, the Writer, the Navy Man, the Model, the Visual Artist, and a Furry Grandson named Polo
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Let me get started with a bit of a life update because I feel like I need to lay some things out in order for you to understand the stream schedule changes. Iām going to make them as brief as possible because I donāt want to linger on anything. My focus is on my health, improving my overall life, and I donāt want anything dragging my focus too far away from that.
Back in March, my live-in partner and I split but we were still living with each other until recently. He decided to move out suddenly and has done so. I wish him nothing but the best. With that said, it has allowed me more freedom to stream as he did work from home and needed to have no background noise.
Also, streaming from the office space set up for me was hard as well as it required me to sit up, which is a very painful activity for me given how my fibromyalgia pain manifests. Now that I am no longer sharing the bedroom space, I can stream from my bed more often and in better comfort (though not complete comfort as supporting myself on my elbows does hurt after a while as well).
That isnāt the end to the changes that have happened in my life though. In July, a long time friend of mines who has seen me through quite a few relationships and even lived here for a while when I was with my ex-partner actually asked me to be their girlfriend and...yea. Now I am splitting my time between two households. To say that my Summer has been a series of interesting plot twists is an understatement!
Not to mention, Iām 60 pounds down in my weight management journey. WOOHOO! And while my pain is not under full control, I am in a regular routine with all of my specialists at this point and pain management has been very communicative with me, addressing every concern that I have and really explaining the medicines we are trying and what we are aiming for. There is also the fact that I have been off oxygen since February so progress! Of course, there is no reversing the damage to my heart but I am taking my medication to try to make sure the damage isnāt further progressed.
So, how will this all impact my stream schedule? Well, given Dionās work schedule/days off and how I want to have at least 3 set days a week on the official schedule for you guys to look forward to (well, his schedule changed again and the 3 official day dream has come to an end so check out the P.S. update at the end of this post for a full explanation), I am going to change things to the following:
Tuesday & Friday:Ā 5:30pm - 8:30pm EST
Sunday:Ā 9:30pm - 11:30pm 1:30pm - 3:30pm EST
Sunday is very tentative as this will be a travel day but this was the best day to keep the schedule manageable for me with a third day. If I find that Iām canceling the Sunday stream too often because Iām tired from traveling then Iāll drop the schedule down to just 2 official days. BUT, and keep this in mind, there is so much potential for me to have surprise streams just because I am feeling up to it! I didnāt have that option before due to my ex working from home. I am hoping to do more of that!
The new stream schedule will take effect on Sunday, August 28th and is reflecting on the community calendar already. You can check that out by clicking here.
So, yea, hereās to the end of an era and surprising new beginnings!
P.S. Update:Ā SOOOO...before this schedule change could even take full effect, my partnerās hours at work changed as they moved intoĀ āwinterā hours. Given his new days off and wanting to keep our routine as simple as possible, I just couldnāt fit a 3rd official day onto the schedule. Now, thatās not saying I wonāt stream more than 2 days a week but I just donāt want to commit to a 3rd day. I rather have additional streams because I feel up to it and during a time that is convenient for me, not feel an objective obligation to do it because it is on the schedule and then overwhelming guilt when I need to cancel. In the end, Iām making sure to keep the balance in my life so I can be in a healthy place mentally :)
I have picked up my very first sponsorship with HelloFresh and Iām actually a bit excited about it. Iāve actually used their service in the past and enjoyed it! It allowed me to try ingredients I didnāt have access to via my local grocery stores. And we all know how much I love food and trying new things!
Iāll be having my first of two sponsored streams tomorrow (7/2/22) at 10am ET at twitch.tv/daathren! Weāll be playing the game CHEF to keep with the foodie vibe, you know? :P
And as a personal incentive for my community, if we reach 15 new HelloFresh subscribers, Iāll be giving those 15 HelloFresh subscribers $25 each for helping me reach my campaign end goal! That incentive would be sent out once the campaign end is finalized and it is confirmed we will be receiving a payout for 15 new HelloFresh subscribers. Hopefully that would be no later than 9/10/22!
Iāve decided to change this up! Now, as long as you sign up, youāll be receiving that $25! The only thing is I am now requesting that I receive the e-mail showing that your box has shipped, not just the general confirmation e-mail showing that youāve placed an order. This could essentially mean you get your very first HelloFresh box completely free if you select the 2 person, 2 recipes option when signing up!
To receive the incentive, I would need the following:
1) Contact info (Either Discord, Twitch Whisper, or E-Mail)
2) Shipping of your box confirmation email from HelloFresh
3) Payment Info (PayPal, CashApp, or Venmo Only)
You can find my unique HelloFresh link and code by clicking here to be taken to my Twitter post about it :)
Me vs The Daunting Task of Applying for Disability
You would think this would be a straight forward thing. You put in the application, they look over your medical documentation, see that youāre sick, and boom! Youāre approved! Especially if you are sick with something like congestive heart failure or chronic bronchitis but, no, applying for disability really isnāt that simple if you are aiming to get into the system as, well, painless as possible with the best possible outcome.
The best possible outcome could still have you fighting for years for your disability or SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance). And since Iāve become disabled with chronic pain (fibromyalgia) on top of congestive heart failure from extreme obstructive sleep apnea (which was brought on by weight gain from lack of activity due to the chronic pain from fibro), I have been doing a lot of research into what to do to try to ensure my application isnāt denied too much. Soooo...Iām just going to go through it point-by-point and hope that it gives some clear insight into what Iām going through right now ON TOP OF trying to take care of my health.
Point 1:Ā Being approved for SSDI isnāt so much proving that youāre sick than it is proving you can no longer be a reliable worker
Yes, that sounds very crude but the people I have spoken with (people who have received disability within the last 5 years) and research I have done through the magic of Google and YouTube have all said this in some compacity. It is why people with conditions like severe nerve damage or amputations are still denied disability even when they go in front of a judge because, in some form or fashion, said judge still feels they can perform some form of basic full time work where they wouldnāt be too much of a burden on productivity with their accommodations. With this in mind...
Point 2:Ā Your medical documentation and treatment plan needs to be on point!
You canāt just go to a doctor once or twice, get a note, and show that to the judge as proof that you are disabled. They want to see a consistent history of you seeking medical treatment through not only a general practitioner (GP) but specialists that could reliably and practically treat your condition and see that you are sticking to the treatment plan. They want to see that you are actually trying to get better. And even after you are approved, you will be regularly screened to see if you are making any progress that shows signs that you can go back into the workforce even if it is a chronic condition that will never go away like Crohnās or Fibro.
In fact, invisible disorders like fibro and chronic fatigue syndrome are treated with more scrutiny since there is no universal test that reveals that you have fibro like there is for Crohnās or with something like nerve damage. I mention nerve damage a lot because one of my friends who I have gotten advice from has it as one of her disabling conditions. Yes, even that friend was denied quite a few times and fought a few years before she received SSDI.
Fibro is a diagnosis that is deduced through trail-and-error when other treatments and tests for other conditions do not work and that is the only conclusive disorder that can be determined for the issue, which is extreme pain. So, usually, you need to show that you really have gone through the ringer to try to resolve said pain issue with a medical team. This could mean months or even years of going back and forth between a GP and Rheumatology and Neurology and Pain Management, trying different medication combinations out for months at a time before switching to something else to try to remedy it.
In the end, a fully fleshed out and tried medical treatment history is only going to support the statement that your condition is severe enough that you cannot enter the workforce in a reliable capacity anymore.
Point 3:Ā There really isnāt aĀ āmagicā state for getting disability in...
Iāve been hearing this one a lot of late.Ā āOh! Move to this state, itās really easy to get SSDI here.ā orĀ āAvoid this state! Itās very hard to get SSDI here!ā
Moving within the same city is hard. Moving within the same state is near torture. Moving out-of-state is grueling and honestly quite scary if you are moving somewhere where you know no one. And doing all that moving while you are disabled and you need help just makes it 10 times worse! Especially if you are expecting someone to move in order to have a better chance to get SSDI...do you even realize what you are asking them to do?
You are telling someone, who is chronically ill, to completely uproot their entire life in order to secure money they are already in desperate need of. Not only that, you are telling them to interrupt their medical treatment plan to move into a new medical system that is completely unfamiliar to them, which very much could mean they could be going MONTHS without medical attention that they are in need of.
Even if they are able to get into the new stateās medical insurance system within a month of the move, there is still the wait to get into a new GP as a new patient. And then thereās the GP referring them out to new specialists and then the new patient waits for said specialists. And most doctors are not going to take a previous doctorās word as bond. They will keep you on the same medication regime (which could be a bad thing if you are in chronic pain) but want to run new bloodwork, maybe even new diagnostic tests if they feel the results are outdated.
Moving even within state could LITERALLY stunt someoneās entire health progression. But you are asking someone to do it on the idea that thereās an easier state to get SSDI in?
According to my overall research, my chances of getting SSDI here in Maryland are just as good as getting it in Colorado or Iowa. SSDI is a federal government program. The guidelines for approval for SSDI are set by the federal government, specifically the Social Security Administration (SSA). Now, is there judicial bias in case approvals that seem to be based by state? Absolutely! Do I think that bias is great enough that I should literally be hurting myself for it? No.Ā
The way I see it, it all boils down to the luck of the draw. I could move into one of thoseĀ āmagic approvalā states and then get the judge that just doesnāt believe that invisible disorders are real and denies my claim. So why should anyone cause that kind of discourse in their life on a maybe when theyāre struggling with their health and with supporting themselves?
Moving should be something that happens after disability is received, if at all possible, not before and shouldnāt be suggested JUST for SSDI. Please, please, PLEASE stop thinking otherwise!
Point 4:Ā So what is my game plan?
Due to the pandemic, a lot of my pain and medical treatment got put on the back burner. My appointments with my Rhummie were months apart to accommodate for COVID practices and he refused to do TeleHealth. I also had a hard time getting in with my, then, GP due to COVID practices plus they really kinda blew off my pain. I was taking Tapazole, which one of the common side effects of it is a low grade fever! So you can imagine how that went over from time to time (and the reason why I had a thermometer in my house in the first place).
I couldnāt really re-establish consistent medical treatment until October 2021 and, well, thatās when I found out that I was in congestive heart failure and thought I had permanent lung damage. Thankfully, Iām feeling confident my medical team, which includes a new GP, is providing me with the best care. My goal, since October, has always been to take all necessary steps to not only get my health in order, which includes putting in an application for in-home care assistance, but to cover every base that I possibly could and aim to put in my SSDI application by the end of June.
My fibro pain manifests in a way where walking in constant pain. When I do walk, it feels like there is fire and electricity running up my legs into my lower back. I donāt even get relief from sitting because sitting puts pressure on the back of my legs in a way that it triggers the same pain. If I sit upright for more than 2 hours, it is horrible pain for me. Even sitting down to eat or hang out with friends becomes a timed event because it just hurts. Laying down I do get some relief but I have to constantly change my position, I need softer cushion points. I am just always in pain.
And some days, I couldnāt even last 15 minutes sitting up. Some days, I can barely make it to the bathroom when Iām desperate...
Things have gotten better now that I am in pain management but it is no where close to where I feel I could enter the workforce again. My current treatment has stabilized my pain (extreme level 10 days) but Iām still in constant pain. I just hope that all my research, all my planning, and all my trying will pay off with actual stability and some independence.
For anyone wanting to have a discussion on this. Not calling out Hero for anything, I am genuinely curious about others thoughts on this or if anyone actually thought about things like RT being owned by Warner Bros, general where is the line between just enjoying the entertainment vs moral standing, the concept of theft for survival, pride vs guilt, and colleges being too damn expensive yet wonāt feed you being the general pool. That and more things are found below the KEEPING READING line.Ā
My DMs are open on Twitter. Iām willing to talk with anyone as long as you donāt cuss me out, belittle my intelligence, or threaten me. I will extend the same to you.
I think a lot of people forget that Rooster Teeth is no longer an independently owned company. They are owned by Warner Brothers. They have to be careful with what they say or do to an extent. I have no doubt once that edit of the video came out that WB's HR was speaking sternly to the editor of the video because, legally, it shouldn't have been in it.
Notice how Trevor reacted to it in the video. Ky's tweet (and purposeful use of the 'do not allow comments' option) smelled highly like a neutral response she was scolded/coached to give in order to address it in a way that HR would approve of it. Michael's, while ab-libbed, has been under WB's thumb long enough to know how to address it without getting in trouble with HR.
WB knows they brought an entity that is known for being "a bit" wild but, trust me, if you look at the content before the WB purchase finalized and after it, you can see very clearly how Ā they are on a long leash. And I'm pretty sure it got jerked over this.
And while I don't condone death threats and blind rage towards someone, there is still the fact that Hero did demand something from Ky as if he felt it was owed to him. I think he sees that in hindsight but who knows since, it seems, his main take away from this is that the community is toxic and it is just his time to walk away. He states that he realizes he had an over-reaction but doesn't really address how he felt he overreacted. But, at this point, that just what ifs that will never get an answer as the man just wants, and deserves, peace.
From the jump, I felt it was a really weird hill to take a stand on given how rotten some of the RT people can be. Like, I personally love their content but I reeeeaaalllllyyy wouldn't want them as friends per say. I would be afraid I would randomly get dragged into some craziness after hours and I would find myself in jail with a record or part of something that would totally go against my morals. I would hang out with, like, Jack...that's about it. Ray but he's no longer with RT. Jeremy seems a decent fellow but he trolls too much. I wouldn't want to hang out with someone who just going to troll me 80% of the time we spending together. Matt seems like he just wants to end it all and I don't think that would be good for my own mental health.
ANYWHO, my point being, last thing I want is to catch a charge so, yea, fun to watch but I think they are pretty shit people. Some people would find that odd that I would watch them but not approve of their personalities and, well, I say that if I literally cut out all the entertainment swimming around because I didn't like something the people that made it did then I would have a very thin pool of content to enjoy. Some people have two bins marked "right" and "wrong", some people have multiple bins, baskets, and dividers that determine the varying degrees of morality and what they are going to do about the thing based on which container the thing lands in. I feel like it is much more realistic to have the multiple bins than to think everything is a two option choice.
RT is in a bin for me that I watch their content and try to support the making of the content when I can via first access but I personally don't buy any of the gear nor do I support the people via Twitch. I even stopped my sub to Alfredo's channel because some of the things he said a year or so ago didn't vibe with me. I don't wish them any ill. I don't feel like I have any right to demand them to do better because who am I in the grand scheme of things compared to them just making their living through entertainment. And even then, none of them have done anything so vile that I would completely shun their content and try not to contribute to their fortunes in ANY way, shape, or form. Entities I have? J.K. Rowling, Chic-fil-a, Papa John's, Nestle, Kellogg's, Blizzard/Activision, Ryan Haywood.
Everyone has the right to their opinion but sometimes we should really think about the choices we are making by stating them and account for all sides of things. Me personally...stealing is a gray area because I have been poor enough that taking a $1 multi-grain bar was going to be the only thing I would eat that day along with the 2 liters of water I was buying so I had a clean source. If I had a child and literally I tapped every resource I could to try to get that child food and I was empty handed, I sure enough am going to walk my ass into a store and try to get my baby SOMETHING to eat. Would I be proud of it? No. Will I feel guilty about it? No, I did what I had to do to survive. I've been a college student with brand new books, my rent paid, and clothes on my back but not 2 cents to rub together in order to have PB&J for a meal.
And I've sat up there and thought about the additional debt I was going into to get a college education, how many thousands I was paying them, how much money state and federal governments were handing over to them...and these establishments couldn't make sure I, at least, had a meal or two a day? Prisoners get 3 hot meals a day but a college student trying to better themselves who is already paying thousands of dollars can't have even a SINGLE meal included. That is messed up and I understand why someone WOULDN'T feel guilty about taking some nourishment. Did I do it at my college? No. But I understand the feeling and thoughts surrounding it.
And, just a thing, not every college that has on-site food services offers a food plan. That is something found at bigger campuses but state universities and area based colleges can have full on cafe and food stalls that are completely you pay to eat there and the money does go into the pocket of the college yet you are still paying thousands to attend. AND even on the bigger campuses, 9 out of 10 times, you are still paying out-of-pocket for the food plan, it's NOT included in your tuition costs sooooooo...in fact, some of them even code the food as a room/board cost so, if you have the option, you can borrow more (loan) or receive more grant money to cover the cost of it but still...thatās the college expecting you to foot the food bill when you already giving them thousands!
And don't even get me started on some of those food plans. My friend had a food plan for one university where she had an allotment of $40 a day but the cafe was charging $10 for a 4oz bowl of plain oatmeal, $15 for a basic ham and cheese sandwich (no sides), and a tiny plate of pasta and meatballs with a salad and garlic bread was $25. Like, what? And that $40 didn't roll over so it was a use it or lose it type deal yet it still cost $2900+. Like, 25% off $40 a day is a good deal number wise but when you are charging THAT much for so little food, someone is going hungry determining if they want to eat in the morning or at night and my friend regularly did this in hopes of getting a decent, filling meal in her.
I don't think Ky was flexing. I think she was just being brutally honest. Yea, she took the bar. She was hungry and the college is greedy and not even providing something that SHOULD be included in all that money that is being paid out. She said what she said and Trevor's reaction to saying it was funny so she continued the laughing she was doing already in the video. And maybe, for some, she is a bad person for deciding to take it. Again, even though I thought the college was greedy I never stole from mines. But, then again, while I didn't have 2 cents to rub together to have a warm meal at school, I was thankfully paying rent somewhere that my roommate took pity on me often enough that they would swing me some ramen or a bit of their leftovers when they could so I wasn't in truly desperate times. Maybe I'M a bad person to some people because I have in the past stolen things for survival and surviving isn't an excuse in some eyes to steal. I get that. I do. And whoever feels that way has that right to feel that way just like I have the right to feel how I feel.
But, in the end, the hill is janky when you look at this as a whole, you know? The core content here that was edited into easy-to-digest videos was made by people who have done a lot of questionable things in their life and, honestly, none of us really know if when they say they feel bad about doing it if it is because they really do feel guilty over it OR if they know saying they feel bad about it is the publicly correct thing to do given they put themselves out there for the public to judge. Looping back to the beginning of this long post, Ky's response may very well be what an HR person told her to post due to having to upkeep a certain image without her having to admit she feels guilty about it. They are ALL just people trying to make their living, which happens to be entertaining us.
So I think he was being racist? No. Do I think he was being sexist? Maybe. Sometimes guys tend to overlook the wrong that other guys do but then judge women because women are held to a higher standard in their heads. A societal rule of men are suppose to be bad decision making buttholes and women are suppose to be wholesome and avoid doing obviously wrong things. Even though those of us born in the 80s-90s-00s are more aware this is a no-no, we are still generations trying to break out of those underlying toxic thought processes that were shoved in our faces and down our throats. Did he deserve some of the responses he got? Hell naw! Some of ya'll should be ASHAMED of what you said about that man but I know you won't regret it or take it back. Should he walk away? Yes, that's his right and NO ONE should be giving him shit about it.
What do I think he should have done if he didn't agree with what Ky said? Me, personally, I would have just left Ky out of my editing going forward and if people asked about it, I would just simply state I didn't agree with her statement on stealing a candy bar. Overall, and I touched on this earlier in this post, I feel like he demanded something from Ky that he really was in no position to make a demand of. It seemed over the top, wasn't very well explained, and the tone really made it sound like he felt he was so important to the community that he carried some form of weight (which I think is what ultimately triggered the elitists and the hate, which to be clear I DO NOT AGREE WITH NOR CONDONE). I think he realized this in hindsight given he made it clear in the goodbye video that he was in no way associated or worked for the company. And, if I am remembering correctly, Rooster Teeth let him continue to make his compilations as long as he didn't monetize any going forward and multiple RTers mentioned him by name on shows because they were impressed with his patience to wade through hours of footage for free. Michael being one of them. But I digress...
Ultimately, this just seems like such a prime example of why you should always wait until the passion has left your blood before responding to something that moves you. I'm glad he has decided to step away for this, possibly, forever and that he realizes he maybe had an unhealthy work relationship as far as editing goes given he felt so guilty doing other things when he wasn't uploading editing projects to the channel. I hope the assholes who threatened him harm have karma served up to them sooner than later but it isn't for me to make that happen. I've enjoyed his content for quite a while now and honestly I looked forward to the vet/animal videos more these days than any of the RT content since my tastes have changed and I consume less and less of what they are doing nowadays.
And that's the end of my long winded analysis of this entire thing. I'm not giving you a TL;DR. You're SOL if you don't read all of this. To read or not to read, that is your choice...
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If you are following me on social media (Twitter, Discord) or my FB, you know that I have been in the hospital for the last 5 days due to health issues. If you have been following me for a while, you know I already have health issues between being immune compromised due to thyroid issues and suffering Fibromyalgia and having anxiety coupled with bipolar disorder. Iāve fought with my health issues for years which, a lot of times, is getting providers to actually be serious about my issues and having health insurance actually pay for services I actually need in order to, you know, try to function.
Well, things have taken an...odd turn...
No, I do not have Covid. Thankfully, my safety precautions have kept me pretty clean during the pandemic even when I have been exposed several times. But, unfortunately, I am in acute respiratory failure. This is coupled with the fact that I am also in heart failure, technically. Let me back these prognosis a bit so I can explain them better.
Technically, whenever the heart is physically mutated in a way that has it functioning abnormally is considered heart failure, even if your heart is doing like a A- job and can continue to do that A- job for the rest of your life as long as the condition doesnāt worsen. Currently, my heart is doing, roughly, a C+ job and needs a bit of help:Ā the heart valve responsible for pumping blood to my feet and into my lungs is doubled (50%) in size. Itās Hulking it up in my chest and that means less blood is being pushed through my system. So, basically, Iām on drugs to make my heart chill out a bit and is making my feet swell up like they are made of jelly. Itās painfully useful.
As far as my lungs are considered, the damage done can POSSIBLY be fixed as long as I get in to a sleep study and get a CPAP machine ASAP. You see, I am a snorer. Chainsaw type snoring! 5 years ago I had a sleep study done and the reviewer used bad wording:Ā Ā āShe borderline for having sleep apnea and may not need a machineā. THAT wording put me health insurance red tape and prevented me from getting a machine that, apparently, I really did need. Essentially, my breathing is stopping in my sleep so often and for so long that CO2 (carbon dioxide) is building up in my system and putting it under major distress. Iām dry drowning when I do fall asleep. What has been saving me? Being in so much pain with my Fibro that I donāt sleep as much as I should.
So, yea, current situation is I will be on oxygen, most likely, for the rest of my life and I have to manage my pain way better because me being in pain for so long masked the fact that I was TRULY breathless. I just thought I was breathless when I moved because I was gritting in pain and purposefully holding my breath to work through the pain. I had no clue I was truly lacking oxygen.
And this all came to light because I went in for a doctorās appointment that has been denied to me for while over a year because of Covid precautions and rescheduling. I finally was going in to speak about getting a home nurse and referred out to pain management as well as tons of paperwork that needed to be filled out for disability card and waiving my student loans. I was trying to get myself together in order to take care of the issues I knew I had. Trust me, I am TRYING to regain some form of independence back. But, you know, the punches keep on rolling and Iāll still rolling with them.
So, yes, that is my new reality right now. It sucks but it is what it is. Iām going to try to keep my head up and do what I need to do to try to keep my life together. As always, DM me if you have any questions or leave them in the comments down believe.Ā
If you want to help us out, healthy dinners would be a great blessing since I am limited in cooking and my partner canāt cook at all. If you rather give money, you can send through the following ways:
In the last 4 months, I have actively worked towards being an active streamer on Twitch and have earned my affiliate status with said site. In the last year, I have been actively growing my small marketing agency as well. Things are going good with both of them but definitely not enough to sustain myself, which has been fine.Ā
I have been receiving UI and my live-in partner does have a somewhat steady work-from-home job heās been with for 5 years now. Essentially, his checks (right now) do take care of all the pressing bills while I have been using my UI checks to pay off debts and upgrade/repair things in the house that have fallen into disrepair.
While I have been receiving my UI funds, I also have been giving back to the communities that I feel welcome in and helping people out that needed the extra help the most. I know how it feels to have a sudden bill or loss happen and need some extra help suddenly. Iāve also been trying to give those I have bonded with on Twitch long term security with multi-month subscriptions more so than multi-sub subscriptions. Remember, Iām a business major so my mind likes thinking about growth over short term satisfaction.Ā
Anywho, in the end, I believe in putting good karma out into the world and I feel like I have done a lot of that in the last year or so of being part of the Twitch community. And I wouldnāt change that for anything but, again, I also understand that not everyone has the same intentions that I do when they give so I want to be up front with people in order to avoid drama and keep my peace surrounding me.
Going forward, I have to focus on saving money in order to prepare for the likely outcome that the federal UI programs will not be extended past September 5th. And if those programs are not extended then my UI claim will be closed and I will no longer receive the additional funds I have used to do so much good with. So I wonāt be as much of a sugar mama as some of you playfully have called me over the last several months. If you think less of me because Iāll be spending less money in chats, Iām sorry in advance but that is what it is. *shrug*
In the end, my focus right now is setting up my office so I will actually have a true space to stream and work in peace. My current stream set up has me in my bed with my partner like 8 feet away in the same room. Heās definitely made his presence known loud and clear in my streams, and several of you LOVE our banter. By having my office set up, Iāll also be able to broaden my work-from-home search since Iāll be able to take phone calls, which I canāt do because my partner needs to take phone calls for his job during the day.
This isnāt me begging for help. This isnāt me trying to guilt people into offering me help. This is just me being open, upfront, and honest with you all as my friends and audience. I hope you all understand and I really hope I donāt actually lose anyone over this. But, again, as I said...putting my cards on the table in order to avoid a lot of awkward situations, I think. Who knows? I canāt account for EVERYTHING!
If you would like to help with items I need for my office, here is my Amazon list:Ā Ā https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2CDF4HYLWJRR7?ref_=wl_share
If you want to help by direct donating, check out the following listings below.
Again, this isnāt me begging/guilting for help. This is just me being honest about changes that are coming up real soon. Love you all! Have a good day!!!
Now people who really know me, who have known me for YEARS, already know all of this information listed down below. They know me and they know that I have grown a LOT but, at my chore, I havenāt changed much. For those of you new to being friends with me or being around me, this is a breakdown to help you figure out if youāre going to like me OR avoid me.
Hi...
My name is Eboni. Some people call me D.A. Some people call me Ebbie. It really all comes down to how you met me. Iām Black, Native American, and Irish. I have cousins that are as beautiful as a moonless night sky and as light as the purest Ivory. Iām pansexual and in a polyamorous relationship that involves a trans woman, a cis man, and someone who is on a thoughtful journey of whether they are genderfluid or not. I have a few lovers and intimate friends outside of that core.
Iāve had to fight a lot being a black woman. Iāve had to fight a lot being a part of the LGBT+ community. Iāve had to fight a lot having more liberal views of what the government should and shouldnāt be doing for the American people. Iāve had to fight a lot being a bigger woman and trying to get healthcare. I am currently having to fight a lot being disabled by an invisible disease that no matter if Iām 100 pounds or 800 pounds, is going to cause me a lot of physical pain. Iāve had to fight with MYSELF a lot about who I am and to understand my own damn self and be OK with BEING ME.
SO...please understand where I am coming from when I say the following...
I AM NOT GOING TO BEAT AROUND THE BUSH ABOUT TELLING YOU WHAT I AM THINKING!
If I think youāre racist, Iām going to flat out call you racist. If I think youāre transphobic, Iām going to flat out tell you that youāre a transphobe. If I think youāre being judgmental, Iām going to flat out tell you so. If I think youāre being a sexist pig, Iām going to call you a sexist pig.
Me and my mental health has NO TIME to be mincing words with ANYONE. I got a limited amount of spoons on any given day based on how much pain I am in and how much shit I gotta handle. I am a firm believer in the sayingĀ ācall the spade, a spadeā. So hear me, right now, loud and clear...
IF I DID NOT CALL YOU IT, THERE IS A 99.999999999% CHANCE IāM NOT THINKING YOUāRE IT!
Donāt come stepping to me with foolishness about me calling you this, that, or the other. Youāre never going to have to read between the lines with me. I have no time nor patience to be that clever when I got social media marketing campaigns to come up with and schoolwork to finish up and streaming schedules to keep up with so I can keep on my networking grind.
And when you get in the way of me being able to do this. When you waste my time and push me into a state of mind where I canāt trust you with my thoughts and feelings because youāre going on about shit that was over with in the semi-distant past...
No. Just no. I am not letting you cross my boundaries as if they are nothing, as if you have a right to have YOUR shit taken care of before I even get my OWN shit together. Thatās not how that shit works.
I have spent too much of my life being someoneās whipping post. Too much time being told I was second class. My feelings were nothing. And that I was a freak for being who I am. I am not going to let ANYONE step to me like Iām a child that needs to be taught a lesson. No, fuck that shit. And I will tell you to fuck off with that non-sense.
You feel I need to be corrected? Correct me during the action. Handle it in the now. Tempers need to be cooled off? Alright, come back to it in a day or two or when people got their pressing shit taken care of. Not in weeks or months, ESPECIALLY when it is something in the grand scheme of people trying to keep their livelihoods going with a fucking plague is running about, is fucking trivial.
I donāt have time for bullshit right now. I donāt. If you want to be petty. If you want to play Tyrant to WHATEVER ant hill you want to claim in the moment, I could care less when Iām sitting up trying to handle grown folk business and keep myself from wanting to blow my brains out because the chemicals in my head are making the wrong fucking thing in a large amount and I can feel myself coming unhinged even though I am taking my meds.
*deep breath*
In the end, Iām an open book. I might stumble over my words at times but I can admit when Iām wrong. Will tell you when I feel I am right. Can step back enough to see that weāre just on opposite ends of an opinion spectrum or call you on your shit and let you know what spade you are. But, again, Iām not going to sugar coat that shit. Iām not going to be long winded and take 3 paragraphs and some foreshadowing to tell you when I think you are.
You know when I go into in-depth convo and give longer explanations? When I am talking to someone I care about and I am trying to reach a point of understanding of what the hell is going on to warrant the convo in the first place.
So beware of how you push me. If Iām trying to walk away, itās because shit is getting to a point where Iām in a bad way and there wonāt be a return for either of us when I throw my hands up and go āIām done!ā
Supporting #BLM and #StopAsianHate through Streaming
So Iām having my first giveaway AND charity week! WOOT WOOT!
What is up for grabs you say? Two (2) $50 eGift Cards to any vendor that offers eGift Card purchases AND accepts USD (United States Dollars).
How do you become eligible for said drawing? Well, you must be following my Twitch channel, DAAthren, and you must be present during the drawing, which will take place on Sunday, March 28th at 10:30pm EST. Being a follower and present at the time of the drawing will earn you one (1) entry into the each drawing (two total).
Want to earn more entries? Donate to the following charities on/after 3/21/21:
1) Black Girls CODE -Ā Our mission is to empower young women of color between the ages of 7-17 to embrace the current tech marketplace as builders and creators by introducing them to skills in computer programming and technology.
2) #ImReady Movement -Ā supports AAPI women and girls with workshops and and research, and promotes movements such as #ImReady, which addresses issues like gender-based and racial discrimination and sexual harassment in the community.
Every five dollars ($5) you donate earns you one (1) additional entry into each drawing. Example:Ā if you donate $10 to Black Girls CODE and $15 to #ImReady, that would be 5 additional entries into each drawing for 10 additional entries total.
You MUST e-mail me the receipt of your donation at [email protected] before 10pm EST on 3/28/21 in order to earn these additional entries.
The winner of the first drawing will not be eligible to win the second drawing. I repeat, the winner of the first drawing will not be eligible to win the second drawing. Two individual people will receive a $50 eGift card of their choice.
You MUST be present during the drawing and message me either on Twitch or Discord within 5 minutes to claim your prize. Prizes will be issued out on 4/4/21 by 11:59pm EST.
Please regularly check back on this post for changes and updates throughout the week!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Quality
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These are my main boo-thangs. I love them to pieces and they love me!
^^^ First up we have mah waifu, April aka ApriKittie. She is usually the first person I talk with when I get up. She's been with me through a lot and has loved me through it all. I know she will forever have my back and I have hers. And we can have entire conversations in a series of grunts, zombie moans, mews, and merrs.
^^^ Second up is my hunnie boo-boo, Gabrielle AKA Patches. I met her through Val (whose coming up) and I have no regrets about trusting her with my emotions when I was doubting I could trust anyone at all at the time. She's fierce. She's kind. And did I mention she's a gamer? She's a gamer! And sexy. And beautiful. And has a really green thumb. And passionate and just...she's just an amazing woman that I am thankful to have around and I can't wait for the time to come when I actually get to give her all the cuddles and more she deserves!
^^^ And last, but certainly not least, is [REDACTED] aka Val. And, yes, his real name is redacted because no one who knows him personally actually acknowledges him by his real name. Most don't even know his real name until it is mentioned that Val ISN'T his real name.
Anyway, I have such love for this derpy fellow. Even though we've been through some shit, had days where we weren't talking and there's been lots of tears, he really does have my back even when I swore he didn't. He's taught me to let go of a lot of the past hurts I held onto and I'm sure I've taught him that while all girls have a bit of crazy in them, there are a few that have no ill intentions outside of the "occasional" deadly fart :D
In the end, I love all these people in my own way and they all live within the depths of my heart. They all shape who I am in the best way possibly and I really cannot imagine my life without them in it.
So my mum comes home and walks up to me, hands behind her back, giggling to herself. I ask her what she did. She says āNickā¦.i got you something. A new friendā¦youll never be lonely again.ā And I was like āWhat?ā And she places this in front of me
After years of being one of my favorite Pokemon, I finally have a fursona. YAY!
A big Thank You to my friend and amazing artist, @deepfriedpaint! She did this lovely commission for me and I could not be happier. She translated my thoughts and desires perfectly and improved on them in some cases. I also know this was a challenge/first for her and she enjoyed herself.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
Tilda Swinton risked arrest waving a rainbow flag in front of the Kremlin in violation of Russiaās new homosexual propaganda bill. And she wants everyone who can to reblog it in solidarity.
Guys please reblog this, it wonāt ruin your blog, this is important
