hasta luego, baby

My favorite medical malpracticers ♡♡♡♡

People get baffled by the Nibelheim Incident and say, “I guess finding out you were an experiment would be upsetting, but why would that fill him with so much rage that he started killing humans and wanting to destroy the entire planet?”

But it’s more like….no, imagine you were born inherently different from everyone else. Forget the extra tragic background stuff that some of us know for a moment. Just take that basic idea about being “born special.”

You are distinctly isolate. It’s in your literal DNA. You are physically and biologically “other” your entire life. Not with a disorder or deformity, but with some completely unique and separate make-up as a living being.

And you don’t like it. You don’t like being special and different. It’s a type of different that can be utilized because it manifests in unnatural, destructive power. Your physical strength and endurance are beyond human and are most suited to war and bloodshed. This strips you of the ability to assimilate into the world. It makes you fit best as a weapon.

You don’t get a family, home, or sense of secure, ordinary life. You don’t get to connect with the planet. You live in a completely different world from everyone else and look out at them through glass and steel.

Sure, they idolize you. Cool. They worship the physical otherness that you were born with. They admire your godly strength, they fawn over your looks, they obsess over your presence, blah blah. But it’s all distant noise to you. There’s no fulfillment in it. You don’t want praise and worship from behind glass and steel, you want something or someone to connect to.

You want your mother — because SHE would give you love, safety, acceptance, and humanity. You could feel human if you could run into the arms of the human that birthed you. The existence of your mother is proof that you are human for the time being. You need her so much.

But none of this is given to you and even though you look for answers, they somehow evade you for your entire life.

MEANWHILE, the only ones to steer and guide you are the company that brought you up and at least gave you a place to reside, a place to find purpose. In your mind, since you were born special, maybe this company is a type of salvation, even if you don’t like everything they do or…..anything about them at all, actually.

But hey! They still guide your power and strength. They still give you something to hang onto. They don’t attack you for being special, they just steer you to employ your abilities and that’s SOMETHING to hold onto. It’s a place where you can assimilate and be accepted in some way. Even if it hurts you. You OWE them.

Now cut to Nibelheim. You uncover it all. Every. Single. Lie. And lies on top of lies. What you discover isn’t even the full truth, but you THINK it is. You think you’ve just finally found out all the answers!

And it starts with your birth. Turns out you were created. You’re not human at all. You were created from the remains of an ancient being that was dug up from the earth and labeled as a separate species by humanity. It’s even dubbed a monster by some, and boy…does it sure look like one.

All of those differences you grew up with, all of those feelings of otherness, all of those fucking isolate traits that FORCED you to live in a cold, different world and that conveniently suited the needs of the greedy, corporate businessmen that raised you were produced and crafted by them.

Your “special existence” that took away every chance at normal, human life was not something you were born with and had no control over. It was literally the result of horrible, unethical experimentation. All of your years of trying to accept it and just do your job are now pointless. It’s like a robot discovering it never had any autonomy or soul because it was always a product made with false ideas about itself.

And to make things worse? Your mother is the other victim of the company that created you. They had her all along, trapped inside an experimental hellscape and hooked up to tubes and wires. Treated like a revered object the same way you were. She’s not human either. That means she’s the only one that can be one with you and understand you. Or so you believe.

All those years you spent separated from her, trying to make peace with what you thought was a natural difference in your DNA…all of it was meaningless because you were being lied to, controlled, used, and treated like the creation you were from the start. You were being kept from your mother and even told she was dead.

Of course you would break.

This is just the core of Sephiroth’s story and I’m not even mentioning all of the additional horror that goes into his life, but this alone would make anyone enraged beyond reason. It would send anyone into deep despair.

Sephiroth only climbed out of that pitch black despair by using hatred, rage, and the drive to return to his mother. He reshapes his entire person to embrace the monster Shinra created. He embraced what he believed they made him to be without his consent, and turned his back on the “others” besides himself and his mother.