Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not.

i promise you, you forget.   they say that your first love is the one that never comes out, that years later you’re still carrying the wound around    but in five years, you’ll be drinking  a good hot chocolate and laughing, and while suddenly you wonder what happened  to them, where they are now, what they’d think of you:   it no longer stings.   it becomes okay. they didn’t love you and it messed you up for a long time but the good news is  the girl they loved  doesn’t really exist anymore, and while she was beautiful   you’re happier than her.

This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find … themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. … they mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated. Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal. Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?” Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.

a contronym is a word which is the opposite of itself, having two meanings which defy each other, two reverse Janus faces. for example, when you look at her she is both your whole world and why you are massively and horrifically empty. for example, kissing her on a sunday both feels like prayer and hellfire.