DӨMI

Hey, hey, breathe... Look at me.... This is all your fault, okay?

Angel on my left shoulder telling me to do good. Devil on my right shoulder telling me to do bad. Rat on my head teaching me how to cook

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

u used to be able to put a dvd in your computer. and then u could watch it

blows up a random stranger with a rocket launcher for no reason then falls to the ground weeping histrionically & receives the tender attention & support of everyone present

You ever hear a song so good you gotta restart it before it even finish

sticks my finger in the barrel of your gun so it backfires on you looney toons style but the gun moaned and now none of us know what genre we're in.

Am I missing extremely important context

Sounds like you should've fucked the hint guy

“whoa” and “woah” is the same but also they are very different… only a select few are capable of understanding this nuanced topic….

#saruman's big artificials vs. gandalf's big naturals

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

gato’s allegory of the fishtank