Lullabies and 🌙

› author's note: hiiii! i'm here to say thank you guys for the support in the pineapple on pizza? post! it was really nice to see that so many of you enjoyed it, so here is a part two! honestly i enjoyed writing dilf!hannie quite a lot and couldn't get him out of my brain for months so here it is, a part two lol. and this chapter is looooong, so buckle in!

also another note: this is incredibly self indulgent. like everything i write. but i think this one takes the cake.

› disclaimer: minors DO NOT INTERACT. this post is intended for 18+ readers ONLY. please have your age stated in your blog description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂

“Have you seen my keys?”

Morning routines were always a mess. Something different happened every time, and somehow, even though you’ve done this more than a dozen times, it was still hard to catch up.

But you were getting the hang of it.

The apartment was a controlled chaos, as you liked calling it. The air smelled of coffee and the soft fragrance that Jeonghan wore to work. Repetition was starting to have its effect as you began to associate your mornings with those two scents.

“Have you tried looking under the couch?” you asked, turning around with a small bowl in your hands. You placed it carefully on the small tabletop of Sohee’s booster seat and watched quietly as she sank her little spoon into her bowl of cereal and milk.

“I should’ve added more milk,” you mumbled, biting on the inside of your cheek.

The little girl didn’t seem to notice, though. She ate happily, kicking her feet in the air and clapping her tiny hands together as she chewed, milk dripping from the corners of her pouty mouth.

You heard a sigh, and then the sound of footsteps approaching from the hall, and you lifted your head.

Jeonghan was still buttoning his perfectly ironed shirt, his hands going lower and lower, distracting you from your initial task. You felt your lips parting before forcing any kind of control onto your facial expression. His black trousers were also yet to be fixed, but as he finished buttoning his shirt, he tucked it inside his pants, quickly fastening his belt.

You lowered your gaze to the little girl slamming her palms onto the tabletop. Sohee was dancing happily. And you were glad that you had zero witnesses to your ogling your boyfriend quite shamelessly.

You brushed crumbs off the table, picked up the empty bowl and put it away. “Alright,” you said with a sigh, pretending to be deeply focused on the morning routine. “Did you find them?”

When you looked up, you found that Jeonghan had also been staring. His eyes were trained on the scene happening before him. His mouth parted, and he appeared to be confused for a split second—giving himself a very brief shake. “Yeah,” he smiled shyly and patted the pocket of his trousers. “Under the bed.”

“Huh,” you grinned. “How could they have gotten there?” you asked, innocently tilting your head.

Jeonghan sighed. The smile was still glued to his face, but it slowly brushed off as he raised his wrist to his face, looking at his watch. “I’m late,” he said, delivering the words with an annoyed edge in his tone. “Fuck. I’m so late,” he added, turning around to grab the jacket that had been previously placed on the couch.

Panic rushed in your veins. It was a big day for Jeonghan at his work—he had a big meeting in which it was certain that he would get some good news about a project that he had proposed for the company he worked for. You knew what this meant for him.

You looked at the time. His shift started earlier than yours did, and with another twist to your stomach, you knew that he wouldn’t be able to drop Sohee off at the daycare and then make it on time to his meeting.

“Go. I’ll drop Sohee at daycare,” you blurted right as he was throwing Sohee’s things into her bag.

His gaze snapped up and locked onto your face. The shock was flitting, but you were able to catch it before he blinked and parted his mouth to say something.

But you were quicker— “Here. Take my car and I’ll take yours so I can put Sohee in her car seat. We can switch later,” you said, stumbling over your words as you fished your car keys from the pocket of your smart trousers, handing them to him.

Jeonghan straightened, fixing the wire-rimmed glasses on the bridge of his nose—you always went a little crazy when he did that—but this time he placed his hands on his hips, his face thoughtful, calculating. “Are you sure? I don’t want to cause an inconvenience with—”

“Babe, you’re not causing anything,” you insisted, thrusting your fist holding the keys into the space between you and him. “Take my car. Go to your meeting. I’ve got Sohee.”

At that, Jeonghan’s face relaxed, starting to approach you with a softened look on his face—like he could melt just at the sight of you. He took the keys from your hand.  “You’re godsent, did you know that?” he asked, his tone low as he grabbed you by the waist, pulling you to his body.

“I’m just here to help,” you said lightly, meeting his gaze as he bent his head to meet your lips with his own.

Jeonghan gave you one feathery kiss. “Thank you, baby,” he whispered, pushing his lips on yours again. “Be careful, okay? Call me if anything happens.”

You smiled against his lips. “I got this,” you repeated in a sweeter tone.

Part of you was sure that Jeonghan knew this as well. But Sohee was his entire world. And he was quite literally leaving her in your hands. 

And you were unsure as to what to think about it.

Jeonghan turned, peeling himself from your lips with a begrudged groan and placed a kiss on top of Sohee’s head. “Goodbye, sweetheart,” he cooed gently.

Your tummy twisted again. This time, the reaction was from the way Jeonghan switched into dad mode in the blink of an eye. The switch from hot boyfriend to diligent father never failed to mess with you.

Sohee lifted her head, her eyes looking at her dad, but she didn’t respond.

“Be good today, okay? Eat all of your meals and try not to miss me too much,” Jeonghan insisted, trying to get her to utter something. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart. Byeee,” he cooed again.

But Sohee kept looking at her father fixedly.

“Sweetheart, say bye,” Jeonghan encouraged Sohee again, this time lower but still gentle.

“Maybe she’s not feeling it today, babe,” you muttered behind him.

A few weeks ago, Jeonghan confided in you that he started to notice that Sohee often froze at the moment of speaking full sentences. Initially, he had brushed it off, thinking that his daughter was innately shy, just like himself. But as months passed by and she continued developing other social skills, he began to believe that it was something else.

“Right,” Jeonghan mumbled, not hiding the slight look of worry on his face. But he leaned and propped another kiss on her forehead before stepping back. He kissed you on the cheek, handing you the keys to his car.

“Good luck,” you mumbled, and he replied with a quick nod. You and Sohee watched quietly as Jeonghan slipped through the door.

As soon as the door clicked shut, you realized what you had gotten yourself into. It was supposed to be a simple task, yes. But it had a thousand layers of meaning beneath it. Taking Sohee to daycare was something you could do every day, gladly—but something felt off.

Like you were starting to cross a line, and neither Jeonghan nor you knew how to talk about it.

Taking Sohee to her daycare was one thing—driving Jeonghan’s SUV was another.

It wasn’t a particularly daring task either, but it also put your nerves on edge. After fixing Sohee’s daycare bag and your own stuff, you grabbed her first, hoisting her up your hip, and then you swung your bag and Sohee’s on your shoulder.

“Ready to see your friends today, Sohee?” you asked, raising your tone into a sweet one. It felt practiced, and you remembered the first few times you ever did it—how it made your cheeks flush in embarrassment. But after a time, you could say that you understood why people would talk in a cute way to kids, it came naturally.

“Yeah,” Sohee replied, the word landing almost aloofly. Like you had just caught her in a moment where she didn’t find any barriers for her to speak.

You pushed the button of the elevator and slowly moved your head to look at her.

Sohee was a perfect little girl of almost three years of age. When you met her over half a year ago, you were sure you were holding a little angel. She was gentle and sweet. Her head was full of dark hair that matched her long eyelashes, just like her father’s.

“Oh, yeah? What are their names?” you asked, eyeing her as you stepped into the elevator with her still attached to your hip.

“Dany,” she mumbled perfectly, raising her tone as though she were about to make a list of names.

“Dany? Okay, and who else?”

“Nora,” she said, quieter this time.

The elevator paused on its way down, opening the doors for another person to step in. You knew the conversation was over.

Sohee fell silent, lowering her gaze from you and fixing it on one point on your shirt. You realized after a few seconds that she was staring at your hand, at your painted fingernails. What made you certain was the way she raised her hands to her gaze, comparing her fingernails to your own.

Something twisted inside you, the idea of her and you doing each other’s nails dawned in your head. And you knew what that pang in your stomach was—possibility. You were thinking of the future.

“Here we go,” you mumbled as you approached Jeonghan’s navy blue Kia Seltos. The fresh smell of new and clean leather still lingered inside it as you opened the door and put Sohee in her chair.

She never complained, just quietly sat on the chair and looked at you as you fixed the buckle of her safety belt.

“Safety first,” you said, trying to fill in the silence. You grabbed one of the toys from the toy basket sitting beneath her seat and showed it to her. “Look, it’s Rory!” you cried dramatically, showing her the dinosaur plushie that you knew she loved.

Sohee extended her arms and made grabby hands at the green and very cute T. rex. She didn’t speak again, no matter how hard you tried to get her to say something.

The parking lot was buzzing with activity, cars coming and going, hustling parents coming in and out of the building, dropping their kids off—and you for sure felt like a fish out of water, but you didn’t want to entertain the thought for too long. You signed Sohee in without an issue—the staff mentioned that as you were dropping Sohee off, Jeonghan had phoned them to let them know you were coming in his stead.

You soothed Sohee’s hair and gave her a quick kiss on her head as she scrunched her fingers on your back, almost affectionately. “You be good, sweetie,” you said before leaving her and turning to the parking lot, feeling strangely empty when you climbed inside the SUV.

You carried out work as usual. You didn’t think about the odd feeling clawing at your heart for the rest of the morning. The second the clock hit one o’clock, your phone started vibrating, snapping you out of your monitor screen. You scrambled to get your phone, only to see Jeonghan’s face on the screen.

“Hello?” you responded with a hushed tone, looking over to see if you had interrupted the workflow in the office. But you realized the space was nearly empty, and everyone had left for lunch.

“Am I interrupting?” Jeonghan noticed immediately by your tone alone.

“No. I just didn’t look at the time,” you told him, pushing yourself off the chair and walking in the direction of the elevator.

“Oh, I see. Is this still a good time to speak with you?” he asked.

You smirked at his choice of words. “I don’t know, you tell me. Is this a good time for you?” you retorted, noticing that he was also in his cubicle.

“You got me,” he said, and you could imagine the shy smile on his face. “I’m stepping outside, hold on.”

You pushed the button to the elevator and waited while on the other side of the line, you heard Jeonghan moving.

“Okay, I’m out,” he said with a sigh. “Are you going to the food court?” he asked.

Jeonghan knew your schedule well, and he was also very familiar with your routine since you always kept him in the loop of the things you did. When you started dating, you would quite practically narrate to him your daily life through text messages, to the point that he knew all of your co-workers by name without knowing them in person.

“Yes,” you replied, stepping out of the elevator.

“Chicken salad?” he asked with a low tone, making you think that he probably had some co-worker passed him by.

“Oh, I think I’m moving on from that,” you told him. “I want a burrito. A chicken burrito.”

“Oof, how different,” he teased.

“Let me be,” you bit back and then frowned, suspecting something was off.

“I will. But I’m going to tease you about it either way,” he said with a brief laugh. “How is work going?”

“Fine,” you replied simply. But it was then that you dared to ask, “Is something going on, babe? You’re never this weird.”

Jeonghan sighed, and you knew he was smiling. “Am I being that obvious?” he said, and then, before you could say something, he continued. “I just wanted to tell you to come tonight and have dinner with Sohee and me.”

“Mmn, why do I feel like this could’ve been a text,” you said as you sat down at an empty table that was cluttered with a tray and a single French fry sitting on its box.

He laughed. “I am trying to get somewhere here,” he said.

“You’re taking a lot of detours!” you laughed with him. “Of course, babe. You know I love having dinner with you and Sohee.”

“Good. Great,” he mumbled, and something about the dejected way his words came out made your ears perk.

A long moment of silence happened between you, where you could hear the sound of his breathing and nothing else. Your gaze fell out of focus, landing on a single grain of salt on the dirty table in the very crowded food court.

“Is everything alright, babe?” you asked, your tone lower. “Did the meeting go well?”

“Yeah. It’s not that. I want—” he cut himself off, but then, “I want us to talk,” he said.

Your heart fell to your stomach, the feeling so impactful that it left you completely stunned. There was nothing in the world that could replace the feeling you’d get when you heard the words we need to talk, and all of its variations.

“Oh, then—t-that changes things,” you mumbled awkwardly, not forgoing that he ignored your initial question.

“Wait, no,” he started, noticing the tension in your words. “It’s nothing bad.”

“Okay,” you said under a heavy sigh. “Then tell me now,” you said.

“I’d rather wait until tonight—”

“Did I do something wrong?” you asked instead. And perhaps you could’ve controlled yourself better, but you were fully induced in anxiety now.

“No. I swear it’s nothing bad,” he told you firmly. “It’s something I have been wanting to ask you.”

You started toying with the lonely grain of salt with the tip of your finger. “If it really is nothing bad, then you could ask me now,” you said, fully aware of how shaky your tone was.

“Are you sure?” he asked slowly, stretching out each word.

“Very.”

Jeonghan sighed and then paused. You could picture him clearly—standing on the balcony of the building where he worked, looking very polished on the outside but probably tense, judging by his tone alone.

“I was just thinking that we’re always so busy, you with work and me with—well, with everything and…” You heard him pause, and then release a sigh, and that’s how you knew he was also steadying himself. “I wanted to know if you would like to move in with us. With Sohee and me.”

In all of the things you could’ve possibly imagined him saying, this wasn’t one of them. You straightened in your seat as a chill ran down your spine. “Jeonghan, are you serious?” you asked, unable to control how firm you sounded.

“I don’t mean now, but sometime in the future. We can plan and see how things go from there,” he offered, and he sounded steady, but you could notice the slight edge of nervousness in it.

The feeling invading your body made you feel as if you had been dropped from a very tall building.

“Babe…” you started, looking for the words to say.

“It’s okay if you want to say no,” he said. “I just wanted to talk about it with you tonight over dinner.”

You closed your eyes, swallowing hard. “I’m not saying no,” you told him.

“You’re not saying yes either,” he sighed in defeat. “I’m rushing into things.”

Your chest caved in. You wanted to say yes, you wanted this. But there were so many things that you thought needed to happen before you moved in with him and his daughter. In your book, things like the first I love you had to happen before sharing a roof with that person. Or at least knowing them for a full year.

Oh, and the judgment. Your friends already thought you were insane for dating a single parent, and now you were moving in with him eight months after meeting him? Not only that, your whole life had taken a turn when you started dating Jeonghan—to the point that the person you were a year ago wouldn’t recognize the person you were now.

“Can we talk about it tonight over dinner?” you asked, your tone tiny.

“Of course. We can talk about it more calmly,” he said, and you couldn’t ignore the note of sadness in his words. “I get it, baby. I should’ve waited. I’m sorry.”

“No, Jeonghan. You did nothing wrong,” you said, but then something felt off.

“Listen, I have to go back. See you tonight?” he asked, and you caught the way his tone picked up. Something had come up.

You deflated completely. “See you tonight, Jeonghan.”

And then something hung in the air. An unspoken thing between you, something that needed to be said.

Your heart started to hope.

But then the line went dead.

There was a thought that you couldn’t quite keep away. When you met Jeonghan, you instantly knew this man was for you—every bone, every nerve ending in your body told you that. Then, when you knew he was a single father, you knew that a relationship with him would be challenging. But it turned out to be easier than expected.

However, things started to shift from the first night you and he took things to the next level. Spending the night in his bed was a very conscious decision you both made. You were both ready, and truth be told, aching for each other. What you didn’t foresee was that you were climbing those steps into a serious relationship without paying attention to how fast and how uncontrolled you were.

Now, it felt as though you were in too deep, but there were no rules or boundaries in place.

You gnawed on your lower lip, debating whether to write him a text telling him that you knew he meant well by his proposition.

Instead, you got up and went to the nearest convenience store, got a sandwich, and ate half of it on the elevator ride back to your office.

The rest of your shift happened in a blink. Thankfully, you were so busy that the aftermath of that call with Jeonghan was pushed to the second plane of your brain. You would sometimes remember it with a jolt in your stomach. And he also didn’t text you afterwards, which meant that he was also probably busy—or that’s what you wanted to believe anyway.

You came out of the office some four hours after the phone call, scrambling inside your handbag to get your car keys.

Your phone started vibrating furiously somewhere in one of the many pockets, your heart deflating stressfully in the thought that it could possibly be Jeonghan. A flashing thought drove that anxiousness right into your soul, telling you that he would be telling you that tonight’s plans were off.

But it was an unknown caller. And you picked up solely on the thought that it would be a work-related thing.

“Yes?” you said, putting your bag on top of the trunk of your car.

The caller was a woman with a very polite tone, asking for you using your full name.

“This is her,” you replied almost routinely.

“Hi! This is Katy from the Speech and Learning Center. Am I speaking to Sohee’s mother?”

“Oh—” you gasped, leaving the task of finding your keys completely abandoned due to the sheer shock that question gave you. “No. I’m her father’s partner. Is something wrong?”

“Oh, no. Everything is fine. I’m so sorry, ma’am,” Katy responded kindly. “We have you on Sohee’s file as the emergency contact in case her father doesn’t answer, and we’ve tried him three times just now, but no answer. Are you able to make choices about her appointments with us?”

“God,” you mouthed to yourself, screwing your eyes shut. “Um, Sohee’s birthday is on Friday, so Thursday would probably be better,” you responded automatically, and then you stopped yourself with a shake. “But I think you should try her father again.”

But then you remembered—Jeonghan had mentioned a very important meeting, the one where his boss would determine whether he had the promotion or not.

“I believe he was in a meeting. Maybe you should try in…” you checked your watch. “Twenty minutes. He should be off by then.”

“Understood. I will call him instead. Well, I thank you for picking up this call and wish you a good rest of your day. Bye!”

“Thanks. You too,” you replied shakily.

And then she hung up.

The drive to Jeonghan’s apartment felt like an out-of-body experience. You felt yourself driving, but at the same time, your mind was somewhere else. After being hit with two reality checks, one after another, you were reconsidering what to do, what to say to Jeonghan once you saw him.

He had assigned you as Sohee’s emergency contact. Not her grandmother, not her aunt. And certainly not her mother. You.

It shouldn’t be a big deal—maybe you were making it into a big deal. But after Jeonghan had told you he wanted you to move in with him and his daughter, this just felt like too much.

You turned the doorknob of his apartment door as you released a shaky sigh, trying to drive out all your nervousness. But as you entered and laid eyes on him, you knew it would be impossible not to be nervous for the remainder of the night.

Jeonghan was sitting on the couch, baby Sohee sitting safely on his thigh as he held a triceratops in one hand, making it clash gently against Sohee’s brontosaurus. His gaze immediately switched to the door as you crossed it. Then tension set in, making the features of his face harden.

And you probably were mirroring that same expression. You closed the door behind you quietly and removed your shoes by the entrance.

Jeonghan placed Sohee on the couch carefully as you walked to the living room, feeling strange.

“Hey,” he said, reading your face with his eyes.

Your heart was racing incredibly fast. “Hi,” you replied.

“I got it,” he said with a big sigh.

Understanding dawned on you with a blink. “You got promoted?”

He nodded, but his expression was still blank.

“Oh my god!” you gasped, thinking that the tension in his demeanor was due to the call from earlier. “Congratulations!” you said excitedly, going for a hug.

Jeonghan didn’t appear to be happy, not precisely. But he wrapped your torso in his arms, hugging you tightly. “Thank you, baby,” he sighed, sinking his face into the crook of your neck.

Then you felt a pair of tiny hands palming your leg intuitively. You pulled away from Jeonghan’s arms, looking down to spot Sohee trying to get your attention.

“I think she’s feeling left out,” Jeonghan interpreted keenly.

“Oh, my bad,” you giggled and bent down to hug her. “Come here, princess,” you spoke softly to her as you lifted her in your arms.

“Look,” Sohee said quietly, showing you a new dinosaur toy.

“Wow, what is this?” you asked her, your tone turning into honey.

“Saurus,” she mumbled shyly, still showing you her dinosaur figurine.

“A stegosaurus,” Jeonghan informed you quietly as he watched you carry Sohee in your arms. And there was that look again. The one you had seen in the morning. He was watching intently, calmly—like he wanted to remember this moment forever without missing a thing.

“This is so cool,” you told her, still using that tone. “Is this the one you liked the most?” you asked her.

She listened to you intently, but her gaze was fixed on her figurine. She shook her head.

“Show her your favorite one, sweetheart,” Jeonghan said as you placed her back on the floor.

She ran back to the couch, grabbed the forgotten dinosaur and brought it back to you. You crouched to be at eye level with her as she showed you a new Triceratops.

“Did you just get these?” you asked her sweetly, your tummy twisting in cuteness aggression as she just nodded, ruffling her black hair.

“It was one of her birthday gifts. I thought that it would be safe to keep them stashed in my closet, but I guess that I should’ve known better,” he said guiltily, crouching with you as Sohee went on to show you her new collection of dinosaur toys.

“You’re a very observant girl, aren’t you?” you asked her, to which she ignored completely.

You could feel Jeonghan beside you, his gaze set on you as you continued your silent exchange with Sohee. After some seconds of feeling the weight of his gaze on you, you glanced to his direction.

“Can we talk?” he whispered as soon as he caught your eye.

You nodded, tummy twisting uneasily.

Jeonghan opened and then closed the fridge in one short motion. He placed his empty hands on his hips as he released a sigh. You noticed then that he was anxious. “Sohee’s mother is coming to town.”

You froze in place.

Of course. You should’ve expected her to be for her daughter’s birthday. But part of you was also completely vexed about this piece of information—since you had believed for a moment that Jeonghan wanted to talk about the proposal he’d made earlier. But Sohee’s mother rarely called, to the point that in the eight months you’ve been dating Jeonghan, you had never even seen her in person.

“Oh, I see,” you said, swallowing hard. And then you added quite awkwardly: “Is she… did you… Did she call to see what you would do for Sohee’s birthday?”

Jeonghan understood where your curiosity came from. But he was still looking at you wearily, just like all the times he talked to you about a difficult thing in his life. Like the time he told you about his daughter, or the time he told you about Sohee’s absent mother.

It made your stomach churn.

And you knew what it was. It was selfishness.

“No. I called her,” he said. You knew that he was telling you the truth, and in doing so, he was nervous. “Sohee’s birthday is one of the few times I can get her mother to come see her, so…”

“I understand,” you said, resuming to set the table with the tablecloth and the dishware. “Do you… want me here that day?”

“Of course I do,” he said. You glanced his way, seeing his worried face—his eyebrows knitting softly. “Do you want to be here?”

“As long as you are comfortable with it, yes,” you said, and then added: “I just don’t want to complicate things.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “Believe me, things can’t get more complicated with her. Soomin is just…” he shook his head lightly. “Well, you’ll see.”

You exhaled sharply. “Okay… no pressure,” you mumbled.

All you knew about Soomin was that she was not present in Sohee and Jeonghan’s lives from the moment Sohee turned eight months old. Her reason for parting and leaving everything behind was simply—I don’t want this life—and one day she packed her bags and left. Some months later, Jeonghan asked her for full custody of the baby, receiving it without any fight from her.

“Is she coming the day of?” you asked.

“On Thursday afternoon, after Sohee’s therapy,” he said. And then you noticed that the anxiety hadn’t quite brushed off. “I want you to meet her that day. That way we can have the party without any issues, if any.”

You raised your eyebrows, watching him from the other side of the table. “That bad?”

He nodded silently, throwing a look to the living room, where Sohee was dancing around to the music playing on the TV screen. “I just don’t want her to make a scene on Sohee’s birthday, you know? It’s supposed to be her day.”

The tension in your shoulders dissolved when you turned over your shoulder and saw baby Sohee bending her knees to the rhythm of the music, her tiny hands planted on the sofa to keep herself steady as she danced happily. Your stomach twisted with the realization that you loved Sohee in a way that you wanted to protect her, care for her.

You had gotten irrevocably attached.

You took a deep breath, slowly turning to see Jeonghan. “Don’t worry, babe,” you told him, smiling at him as you approached him again. “We’ll make Sohee’s day just about her, alright?” you said, pushing yourself to your tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

Jeonghan smiled softly. “Alright,” he said.

You stared at that smile on his face for one long second, and slowly, the memory of the phone call from earlier came back to your mind. Your heart faltered. You carefully thought of how to open the conversation, but nerves got the better of you first— “About earlier…” you said in a whisper, pausing to clear your throat. “Were you serious? About me moving in?”

Jeonghan inhaled slowly, blinking away from your face briefly, glancing to where his daughter was in the living room. “We don’t have to rush,” he said, licking his lips before turning his gaze back to you. “It’s a big step, but it makes sense, right? I mean, you’re already here all the time…”

You studied him for a brief moment. You were hearing him, but all you could think about was the way his shoulders were tight, the way he was gripping the back of the chair with one hand. And more than everything else—the way he wasn’t meeting your eyes.

“It feels fast, Jeonghan,” you said carefully.

“It feels right,” he countered, taking one step towards you. His face had changed now that you could see him with more closeness—his dark eyes were full of certainty, full of tenderness. “I want you here. With us. You’re already here all the time, you do morning routines with us, put her in bed, and drop-offs…”

Your chest tightened. Something felt off. And then by pure instinct, you glanced at Sohee. The baby had stopped moving, her gaze fixed on the flat screen mounted on the wall, sticking her index finger in her mouth quite aloofly.

But the sight of her made your tummy twist even harder. It was the realization hitting you like a train. If you lost this—if Jeonghan and you ever get to a point where you split, you would lose Sohee as well. The mere thought threatened to break your heart.

His gaze shifted—and without following it, you knew that he was looking at Sohee. “I’m just… scared of doing this wrong way, you know?”

You reached for his face, cupping it with your hands to draw his gaze back to you again. “Then we should slow down,” you said, your heart protesting against your words with a stabbing pain. “Just a little.”

He swallowed hard. “Okay,” he breathed.

“Yeah?” you replied in kind. “We slow down for just a little while. We could talk about it again when the timing feels right.”

Jeonghan grabbed one of your wrists, squeezing it gently. He looked relieved, so much so that the next sigh he let out was slow as he leaned his forehead on yours. “I’m sorry. The last thing I want is to rush you,” he whispered.

“It’s okay,” you replied, despite your heart deflating a little. “I understand. Just know that I’m not saying no. Okay?” you said, raising your tone just a little bit higher, trying to swallow your nerves.

“Okay,” Jeonghan replied with a breathy giggle, hearing your nervous tone.

You felt his lips grazing yours before he kissed you fully. It was then that you felt those three littlewords sitting on the tip of your tongue. You were falling for him, fast and uncontrollably. But instead of telling him that, you pushed your lips against his, kissing him fervently.

But then a sharp, and very high-pitched laugh pulled you both apart. Baby Sohee was laughing at something happening on the TV. You broke away and stepped back from Jeonghan.

“I’ll… bring her to her chair so she can have dinner,” Jeonghan said. And by the look in his eyes, you knew that there was something else on his mind.

You let out a tired breath. “What a Monday,” you sighed.

“Welcome to my life,” Jeonghan replied.  

After dinner, Jeonghan started to ready Sohee for bed, and that usually involved a bath, brushing teeth and then bed. It took him around thirty or forty minutes. And in that time, you usually took it upon yourself to tidy the space up. Initially, you had started doing it to kill the time while waiting for Jeonghan to come back—despite his insistence for you not to do it—but lately, it felt like it was part of your routine too.

You had put all of Sohee’s toys in the basket, folded the blankets and were now doing the dishes. The task had fallen into a steady rhythm, and so you were deeply focused on washing a pan when a pair of arms snaked around your waist, startling you.

“Stay the night,” Jeonghan said, his tone low as he bent his head to rest it on your shoulder. 

Your tummy twisted.

Ever since you slept with Jeonghan for the first time, you had fallen into a pattern of addiction. You would stay over at every chance you could get, which, granted, weren’t as many since you had a very hectic work schedule as a CEO Assistant and he as a single parent, and now newly ascended to Director. But even as you had finally stepped to that level of intimacy, it was life that constantly would get in the way. It wasn’t as easy to find a time for you to come to his apartment, and it would be nearly impossible for Jeonghan to spend the night at yours.

You felt his lips grazing a particular tender spot on the crook of your neck. “Hannie,” you sighed, recoiling from his sweet kisses.

“What?” he mumbled against your skin, you could tell from his tone that he was smiling. But he didn’t stop kissing your neck slowly.

You swore you could melt. When you took too long to respond, he giggled gently against your skin.

“Want me to stop?”

You had already scrubbed every inch of the pan you were holding under the stream of water; the task had been long forgotten. “No, I want you to let me finish doing the dishes,” you replied with a playful tone.

“Alright, my bad,” he said, stepping back from you and starting to put things away in the kitchen.

You watched him through the corner of your eye as he roamed all over the space. Feeling the absence of his touch on your skin made you swallow hard. “I didn’t say you had to stop,” you mumbled, feeling hot on the cheeks.

Jeonghan huffed, clearly still amused. “Baby, we’ve been going like this for weeks,” he said pointedly, then chuckled as he threw a look at your face, finding your pout.

Since the night when you slept with Jeonghan for the first time, you have had very few occasions of true intimacy. However, that didn’t stop Jeonghan from teasing you, touching you in places he hadn’t dared before that night, but now he did it at every chance he could get when no one else was looking.

It got you nervous. You liked him too much. Every time he touched you intimately, your mind would be thrown back to those nights where it was just you and Jeonghan. It made your blood dance, heating your entire body.

Only Jeonghan had that power.

You placed the last item on the drying rack and grabbed the hand towel, drying your hands before returning it to its place. “Fine, I’m done doing the dishes,” you said, putting your hands on your hips. “Where were we?”

Jeonghan let out a teasing huff. “You’re cute,” he said with a chuckle.

“You’re a tease,” you bit back, trying to sound as annoyed as you could, but instead your tone denoted how flustered you already were.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes at you, the smirk not washing off his face. “So? Are you staying or not?” he asked, his tone still playful.

“Only if you behave,” you said impishly.

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows, stepping closer to you. “Me?” he asked, his tone rising. He was close enough now that all he had to do was lift his hand to cup your face, fixing your gaze on him. “All I do is what you tell me, baby,” he said, his tone so low and raspy it was almost like a purr.

“So whenever you misbehave, is it because I told you to?” you huffed, not caring that his face was closer to yours now.

He smirked slowly as his eyes outlined your face. “Obviously,” he shrugged lightly. He finally closed the space between your lips and his, kissing you tenderly. “I always behave. While you, on the other hand…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, his gaze dipping to look at your lips briefly before he kissed you again. You smiled into the kiss, despite it being chaste in the way that he was only pressing his lips to yours repeatedly, creating soft, wet noises that only incited you to get more.

“Babe,” you muttered, laughing sweetly. “Kiss me properly,” you told him.

Jeonghan didn’t waste a second. Repositioning his hands around your face, he only leaned in, locking his lips with yours. His kiss was soft, but slow, wet, and so full of heat. You closed your eyes and let him dominate the kiss, parting your mouth when you felt the tip of his tongue swipe your bottom lip, and then you felt his tongue against yours.

Your legs tensed as an automatic response, a shot of arousal coursing through you like lightning. His hands switched from cupping your cheeks to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair. That made a silent moan bubble in your mouth, so you grabbed him by the belt in his jeans, pulling him closer to you.

Jeonghan grunted in your mouth and then pushed you to the kitchen counter by simply taking two steps forward, making you take two steps back. His lips took yours with more vehemency now, kissing you deeply, with a very unique urgency. It made you lose control, it made you feel hot all over.

So you pulled back, but not far. “Let’s go to bed, yeah?” you said breathily, running a hand over his clothed chest.

Jeonghan smiled, making you think that he’d say something about your nervousness again. But he grabbed your hand, “Alright,” he said, and then he pulled you in the direction of his bedroom.

Whenever you stayed the night, you would wear Jeonghan’s clothes—mostly oversized t-shirts and sometimes sporty shorts. So much so that you’d noticed Jeonghan kept the clothes he’d lent you in a particular spot in his closet, making you suspect that he probably had stopped wearing them, only to keep them clean in case you came to stay the night.

Your gut twisted when Jeonghan pulled the same oversized t-shirt and handed it to you. “You know, you could bring some stuff in. I’ll empty a drawer for you,” he mumbled, turning on the bedside lamp.

He always said something akin to those words whenever he had the opportunity. It reminded you of his other request—of moving in. “Yeah, I’ll bring some spare pyjamas,” you replied nervously, turning on your feet to start unbuttoning your shirt.

“And maybe clothes for work?” he asked, and you could hear the hint of hope in his tone.

You already had a toothbrush and makeup remover wipes that you once bought to keep in Jeonghan’s bathroom. That time you’d also felt you were stepping over a line, for some reason. But Jeonghan thought it was endearing that you had asked him for permission beforehand. You don’t have to ask, he told you every time.

“Yeah, that too,” you replied, sounding short of breath. When finished unbuttoning your shirt, you threw a look behind you, seeing that Jeonghan had just turned his gaze elsewhere in that instant. You smiled to yourself, noticing that he, too, was acting strange, fidgety.

Or perhaps it was just staying behind the line you always painted. That was another thing that drove you crazy about this man—he always waited for your word. But he kept a keen eye on you, certainly making sure that you were not having trouble initiating. And this time was no different.

You liked Jeonghan. No, you loved him. And tonight, with all those questions roaming about in your mind, questions about moving in, taking care of Sohee, meeting her mother… You were simply too much in your head.

And Jeonghan knew.

After brushing your teeth and cleaning your makeup off, you slid into the bed beside him. He was eyeing you and the screen of his phone back and forth, waiting for you. “Ready?” he asked.

Your stomach twisted again. “Huh?”

Jeonghan smiled at you. “To sleep?” he added.

“Ah. Yes. Oh, yeah,” you stuttered nervously, scooting closer to him.

Jeonghan left the phone on the bedside table and turned the lamp off. He turned around, draping an arm around your waist as you also turned, forming up a spooning situation where he was the bigger spoon. He kissed your shoulder over his clothes, and then your cheek.

“Did you have a good day at work?” he asked, his tone soft and low.

You blinked, turning slightly to look at him. “Yeah. Why?” you asked.

He shrugged. “Hopefully I didn’t distract you too much with my stupid phone call,” he said.

Your heart softened. “It was okay, babe. Today's work was nothing out of the ordinary,” you told him, and then showed him a playful smile. “And I love your phone calls.”

“No matter how inopportune they are?” he asked, his tone waning ever so softly.

You nodded. “They never are. Stupid or inopportune,” you replied, your tone waning too.

He paused, looking briefly at your lips before bringing a hand to pinch your chin softly. “Where were you my whole life?” he asked.

Your heart could burst. You wanted to say a million things to him. You wanted to tell him how you fell in love with him at first glance, you wanted to tell him you loved him.

But you choked up. “I could say the same,” you whispered. And you weren’t lying—despite having had other boyfriends in the past, you had never ever felt love like this in your life. It only made you think that Jeonghan hadn’t either. And the thought broke your heart.

He smiled, moving his head so he could touch your forehead with his. “I’m never letting you go, you hear me?” he said.

You nodded. “Never.” Please.

You and Jeonghan fell asleep shortly after that, going back to your original spooning position. He wrapped an arm around you, and you snuggled close to him under the covers. Sleeping with him was extraordinarily good—he never moved, never snored, and you were careful not to disrupt his sleeping either.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, you felt him stir and slip out of bed. You became too conscious about it because the bed grew colder around you, and it was getting harder to go back to sleep.

You turned over, thinking that you might’ve done something to wake him up. But he was nowhere to be seen. “Jeonghan?” you called.

He stepped into the bedroom, carefully leaving the door ajar. “Did I wake you?” he asked, his tone low.

You watched him as he came back to bed. “What’s wrong?” you asked instead.

He sucked in a breath when he felt your warm body, as though he had been exposed to a chill temperature. “Sohee’s mother called.”

“This late?” you asked. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah. She’s fine. I suppose she didn’t look up what our time zone was before calling,” he explained calmly.

“Well, what did she have to say?” you asked, feeling sharply awake now.

He slipped his arms around your body, pulling you closer to him. His clothes were cold, as well as his skin. He was probably having the phone call outside on the balcony so as not to wake you or Sohee up. “A bunch of nothings. She cancelled Thursday’s plan. Said she’ll be meeting us at the party.”

You couldn’t help but feel relieved. “Did she say why?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “Yeah. But it was all an excuse.”

Something inside you deflated with shame. Here you were, feeling relieved that you wouldn’t meet Soomin a day sooner; meanwhile, that also meant that Sohee wouldn’t see her mom either until the party. And Jeonghan’s lower tone reflected that pity.

“I’m sorry, babe,” you murmured.

“It’s fine. I had expected something like that,” he replied, but you could still hear the hurt in his tone. “She promised she’d be here for Sohee’s birthday. So, I’ll take whatever at this point.”

Now, you were even more reluctant to meet her. Your gut twisted, but before you could even process what type of feeling you were having, Jeonghan kissed your brow, easing the storm cooking up in your mind.

“Shall we go back to sleep, beautiful?” he whispered, moving his lips to kiss your eyelid, then your cheekbone.

Jeonghan was so sweet, so loving, that it scrambled your brains to think how he was yours.

His lips reached your cheek, and you moved your face so that the next kiss landed on your lips. He planted a sweet kiss, but then you parted your mouth, trapping his bottom lip in. You kissed him deeply, trying to put all of your feelings into one single kiss.

You wanted to show him that you were madly in love with him without having to say the words. You kissed him with such force that had him moaning in your mouth. He said nothing, only letting you lead as you pushed him by the shoulders, wordlessly telling him to lie on his back.

He gave you one confused look that quickly evaporated once you straddled him. His hands snaked on your thighs as you bent forward, taking his face in your hands to kiss him, moaning on his lips once his fingertips grazed the lace hem of your panties. The sound only gave him the green light to continue, exploring your skin with the pads of his fingers as he hiked the t-shirt up your torso.

You pulled back, but only to let him take the t-shirt off, leaving you only in your panties, and your chest bare for his view. His gaze roamed all over your bare skin, but it was for just a moment. You leaned in again, his hands latching to your waist, while the other fisted your hair by the side of your head.

You shifted on your knees, grounding your hips down on him—but just barely. Jeonghan was already hard, and you could feel him just by moving on top of him a little.

Dragging your fingernails down his chest, you crawled back to give yourself space to pull his shorts down. Your fingers hooked around the waistband of both his boxers and shorts, and you pulled, uncovering an inch of skin as one of your fingers traced a line over his thin but dark, happy trail.

Jeonghan sucked in a breath—but this time it was because of something else. “Sweetheart,” he mumbled, looking at your hands as you pulled his cock out, grabbing it with your other hand.

“Mn?” You raised your gaze to him.

His hands slipped on your hips, clutching you gently as you lifted them to move your panty line aside. “Condom?” he mumbled, groaning and clenching his jaw as you guided the head of his cock down your folds.

You pretended not to hear, lowering your hips and slipping him inside your warm walls, all in one go. And fuck, he was perfect—his cock was perfect too. The feeling of having him raw and stretching your pussy was the sweetest feeling you’ve ever felt. Your mouth fell open, eyebrows drawn together as you started bouncing on him gently.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan gasped, closing his eyes before sinking his head back on his pillow.

You anchored your hands on his chest, using him as support to roll your hips on top of him. And yet again, you wondered what the scene would look like—middle of the night, his pants halfway pulled down, you bouncing on top of him with your panties still on and trying your best to be quiet.

But it was nearly impossible. Jeonghan moved his hands from your hips, palming your breasts and caressing your pebbled nipples with the pad of his thumbs. You clenched your teeth together, letting out a soft whine as you ground your hips on him, trying to take his cock deeper into you.

“Quiet, baby,” he said, smirking. But then he moved his hands, one to your hip, the other on your lower abdomen. He pushed your panties further aside, pressing your lower belly with his palm before starting to rub your clit with the pad of his thumb.

“Fuck—Daddy,” you mewled, hips buckling on top of him.

“Do you like that?” he asked, his tone low. He glanced at your face once before his gaze dipped to your cunt, moaning at the sight of his cock disappearing inside you.

You nodded, picking up the pace of your hips. The pad of his thumb rubbed your clit steadily, not switching, unstopping. It was driving you closer to the edge with every second that passed, making your walls tighten around his girth.

“Is this what you wanted, baby? Daddy’s cock?” he asked with that lazy smile still on his face, his tone raw, but waning.

It drove you insane—the switch from being sweet and gentle to talking to you like that. “Mm-mmph,” you admitted.

He tilted his head back slightly, teeth clenched tightly as he tried to exert some control on himself. But as you continued rolling your hips on top of him, you saw him starting to fall apart—his eyes went white before he squeezed them shut. And then, he made a sound, a long, raspy moan that was stuck in his throat. “Baby, I’m not going to last long,” he said.

It was your turn to smile now. “That’s okay, Daddy,” you told him sweetly, and then you tilted your head, showing him a playful side. “I could slow down for you.”

Jeonghan’s eyes rolled to the back of his head. “I don’t think that’ll make a difference,” he gritted, smiling despite himself.

His hands switched to your sides, lifting your hips with one powerful groan that rumbled in his chest. The sound made your pulse quicken, and your gaze immediately shot to the door, as though trying to fish for any kind of sounds coming from down the hall.

Jeonghan acted quickly—rolling your back onto the mattress effortlessly. A gasp spilled from your mouth, eyes locking with his as he slid your panties down your legs. And then he crawled between your thighs before taking his t-shirt off.

“We should be quiet,” you told him, smiling shyly as he placed his palms on your knees, pushing your thighs up to your chest.

“Let’s see how long you can do that,” he replied, letting out a tired giggle.

And he had a point about that. Last time you and Jeonghan had sex, you had been so noisy that the downstairs neighbors made some tacit remarks about a creaky bedframe. So you watched as Jeonghan grabbed a pillow, probably thinking the same as you and placed it behind the headboard.

“Can’t make any promises,” you mumbled, still looking as he pulled his shorts and boxers down, taking his hard cock in one hand and guiding it to your drenched pussy. You swallowed hard, holding your breath as the crown of his cock nuzzled against your entrance, and then he slipped inside you, so fucking slow.

You couldn’t resist it. The sight of his length disappearing in your mound was alluring, and the feeling of him reaching so deep inside you was even more delicious than riding him. He pushed your thighs to the sides of your ribs by climbing on top of you, so he was now fully pressing your body with his.

Jeonghan smiled. “See? Didn’t last long,” he said, hearing your soft whines as he bottomed out inside you.

“Fuck—daddy,” you gritted, breathing hard under the weight of his body, but you loved it. “Move, please, move.”

You didn’t need to beg—he did it right away, pulling back to push right in, creating a steady pace effortlessly. He framed your face with his forearms, his face so close to yours that he only leaned slightly to get a swift kiss. You cupped his head in your hands, lifting your head so you could kiss him deeper, earning a soft moan from him.

It was truly suffocating. The warmth of his body, being so close to him. Looking into his eyes as he claimed your body like it was his. It overwhelmed you—the need to be his woman and have him like this every night, forever. You were going insane with the mere thought—waves of love and lust coursed through you uncontrollably.

The room became flooded with the muffled sounds of pleasure—the small whines you made, the short moans Jeonghan let out in between tired breaths, and the very obvious creaking of the bedframe despite the headboard having a pillow to not slam against the wall.

You loved it. Loved how you both had fallen into an addiction of silent quickies in the middle of the night, stifling moans and speaking filth in hushed tones. The sheer adrenaline of trying and failing to be quiet made you wet. You could even catch the slippery sound of your arousal as Jeonghan pushed his cock deep inside you.

“God,” you gasped when he picked up a pace, fucking you faster, still massaging that glorious spot inside your walls. 

And you let pleasure bloom inside your body with a hot, intense shiver. Long ago, it was so rare that you’d cum with penetration alone—but somehow Jeonghan always made you cum like that, effortlessly. Your mouth dropped open, almost tasting your orgasm on the tip of your tongue.

“You close?” he asked with sharp, ragged breaths. He gave you a dazed look, outlining your features with his gaze. When you nodded, he gave you another light smile. “Let go, baby.”

You stared into his eyes, watched him as his jaw twitched when he ground his teeth down—you noticed he was close too. “Cum with me?” you asked, cheeks turning hot as you heard how fucking sweet you sounded.

Oh, you were in love. You had come to this realization a while ago, but now it was becoming more and more unbearable. Your mind spun with questions—did Jeonghan know? Could he see it in your eyes? Hear it in your tone? There you were, riddled with questions while you were begging for him to cum with you, and he wasn’t wearing a condom.

“You’re cumming first, Babygirl,” he replied, his tone waning.

You could’ve sworn that he had a way to hear your thoughts, but you didn’t let that distract you—because you were instantly swept over by an intense wave of pleasure. A gasp tore from your chest, and before you could let out a scream, Jeonghan crushed his mouth against yours, drowning out your sounds of pleasure.

He continued thrusting in that same calculated pace until you became a puddle of pleasure. You were wet. Sweaty, hot, and quivering on his bedsheets. And he was kissing you softly, passionately, like he hadn’t done before.

“Felt good?” he mumbled.

You nodded. “Amazing,” you drawled sweetly.

“Good,” he mouthed, the muscles of his face tightening, like he was in pain—he was close.

Your heart skipped a beat. “Don’t pull out,” you said.

He blinked, his gaze finding you instantly.  

“Please,” you whispered, linking your wrists behind his nape, as though trying to hold him right there.

He blinked slowly and then let his forehead rest on top of yours. “Fuck,” he sighed, pushing his hips against yours with tight, deep thrusts. You closed your eyes as another euphoric rush gripped your body wholly. “God—fuck, baby,” Jeonghan drawled, letting out a raw, quiet moan as he gave you a final push, his cock twitching in your walls as he spilled himself deep inside you.

Jeonghan remained there, breathing fitfully, his body completely glued to yours as though unable to move. And then you wished you’d known what to say next. You wished you knew what to do or say after making love. So instead, you moved your face, finding his lips with your own. You kissed him slowly, trying to convey the quick rhythm of your heart, the butterflies swarming inside your chest.

He pressed his lips against the corner of yours, then he kissed your cheek. “You’re okay?” he whispered, gently pushing the tip of your nose with his before pressing another kiss against your lips.

Your heart gave another leap. “Yeah,” you mumbled shakily. “We should probably get ready to sleep. You have work tomorrow.”

Jeonghan pulled back, blinking at you confusedly. “Yeah. Sure,” he replied, his gaze outlining your features. “But after I’ve taken care of you, baby.”

And when he peeled off your body, you knew you had made a mistake. You felt foolish then, because this man was clearly thrown off by the switch in your tone, confused by your evident refusal to talk about what was going on in your mind.

But he took care of you with the utmost gentleness, offering to start a shower for you, which you declined due to how late into the night it was. However, you cleaned up in the bathroom, and when you came out, he had a glass full of water ready on the bedside table, and he’d already changed the bedsheets.

“I put your clothes in the washing machine and programmed it for a quick start early in the morning,” he said thoughtfully as he unstuck the pillow behind the headboard. “They should be clean and dry by the time we both get up.”

It made you smile—the very careful manner in which he was fluffing the pillows as you approached the bed. “Thank you, babe,” you replied, feeling your heart warm up.

“Don’t thank me,” he whispered, lifting his head as you stood beside him before the bed. “Hopefully you will remember to bring in some spare clothes next time?” he insisted, smiling shyly about something, and then— “Sorry. I keep bringing it up.”

Your heart deflated. “Don’t apologize,” you replied, placing your palm on his side, feeling the muscle of his abdomen contract at your touch. “I’ll remember to bring some stuff in. I promise.”

“Okay,” he mumbled, grabbing your hand and taking it to his mouth, kissing your knuckles. “Let’s go to sleep.”

You nodded, climbing back on the bed and snuggling him close. Jeonghan wrapped your waist with one arm, the little crook beneath your earlobe.

Your heart fluttered. “Do we already have a cake?” you asked suddenly.

Jeonghan pulled back. “What?” he mumbled.

You turned slightly. “For Sohee’s party. Did you order a cake?”

His brow creased. “Yes. Why?” he asked curiously.

You turned again, face to your pillow. “It’s nothing. I can bake really good chocolate cakes,” you gave him a light shrug. “Thought I could help with something.”

Jeonghan smiled; you felt the change in his breath on your neck, making you shiver. “I’ll remember that,” he said, pressing his lips to the first spot of skin he could find. “For her fourth birthday.”

The knot in your tummy twisted harder. “Yeah…” you trailed off, deciding to snuggle closer to him, silently telling him to hold you tighter to his body.

“Sleep well, pretty,” he whispered, unaware of the shift happening in you.

Your head was about to blow up. You were sure. And every time you blew air out of your lungs, your abdomen screamed in pain and exhaustion.

“Perhaps I’m not made for this,” you mumbled to yourself quietly, wrapping the bead around your fingers to secure a tight knot, and then proceeded to put tape on one side of it, sticking it to the wall.

You had successfully decorated the side of the dining room that had the most cleared space for it. There perched a big and colorful daisy of white and light blue petals, with a Happy B-day Sohee sign sitting in the centre in baby pink colors, made by your hand. You had pulled out your party decorating skills, which you had put away since entering college, but they came in handy the moment you realized Jeonghan wasn’t planning on decorating.

“Okay,” you sighed tiredly, looking at the wall. Now that you had one task done, you needed to tend to the other two tasks you had set for yourself.

Task number one was decorating, done. Task number two was tidying up the place for the guests. And task number three was psyching yourself up for meeting your boyfriend’s ex, and the mother of his daughter.

Your stomach did that thing again—it felt like some deep part of you protested against what you had ahead for you, and it wanted to draw your attention to it by stabbing you right in the gut.

But you went ahead and tidied the place up—putting toys where they belonged, folding blankets and taking them to the bedrooms, cleaning the kitchen counters, and setting the table just nicely.

Two hours had passed since you’d arrived at Jeonghan’s place, and all of your tasks were done. You realized you could sneak fifteen minutes of mirror talk and touching up your makeup before Jeonghan and Sohee arrived back home.

When you came out of the bathroom, you felt like something was shaking inside your veins, leaving a trail of prickled nerves in its wake. But you took a deep breath—catching the sweet smell of vanilla, sugar, and cinnamon from the birthday cake set in the centre of the round dining table. You outlined the entire space with your gaze, mentally checking every single item you told Jeonghan you were in charge of getting for the party.

Balloons. Fruit tray. Candy tray. Banana milk. Peach drinks (Sohee’s favorite), candles and goodie bags, which were dinosaur themed.

The smart lock of the main door clicked and beeped, making your stomach contract and your nerves fire up in different directions inside your limbs. Jeonghan was crossing the door carrying a backpack on one shoulder, gift bags hanging on the same arm he was carrying Sohee with.

“Hello, you two,” you chirped, anxiety instantly swept when you saw Sohee’s adorable face. “What took you so long?”

“Sohee’s teachers,” Jeonghan exhaled tiredly, closing the door behind him and watching you approach him and Sohee. “They had a lot to say to me. One of them even got emotional.”

“And what did they have to say?” you asked, eyes set on the little girl perched on her father’s arm.

“Oh, just how much they appreciate Sohee,” he replied, bumping his daughter on his arm and turning to her. “They said you were the best girl, right? The smartest, kindest and friendliest. She’s been pretty talkative at school,” he added at the end, giving you a meaningful glance.

You made a shocked expression. “Is that true?” you asked, and then giggled at the sound of your own voice.

Sohee was listening to the conversation while she chewed on the tip of her index finger. But she nodded intently.

“They gave her a couple of presents,” Jeonghan said, gesturing to the gift bags on his arm. “Some of them were from her friends, two of them were from her teachers.”

You took one glance at the gift bags. “Oh, shoot,” you muttered.

“What?” Jeonghan said, brow furrowing.

“I forgot the present I got for her back in my apartment,” you said dispiritedly. But you turned to Sohee, extending your hands at her. “Hi, sweetheart!”

Sohee inclined her little body forward, just as you grabbed her by the torso and wrapped her around your hip. The movement was so natural that it went almost unnoticed, but it was Jeonghan’s gaze, the way he blinked, and his eyes lit up as he looked at his daughter, pointing at the wall behind you.

“That’s okay, we can go get it tomorrow morning,” Jeonghan mumbled faintly, still looking at his daughter perched now on your hip.

“Mn,” Sohee hummed softly, kicking her legs up in the air and pointing at the wall slightly harder.

“Oh, right,” you turned on your feet, taking the baby girl to the living room area so she could see the wall decorations. “We made this for you, kiddo,” you chirped, looking at her pretty face.

She pointed again.

“D’you like it?” you whispered, heart warming up at the sight of her sweet brown eyes taking in the big daisy on the wall.

She nodded aloofly. And then kicked her legs, pointing them to the floor.

“Alrighty,” you mumbled, carefully setting her on the floor. You watched her run joyfully to her bedroom, perhaps to get something, a toy for her to show you.

But then you turned, catching Jeonghan still staring at you, hands deep in his pockets, head tilted to one side. But it was the tenderness in his eyes that made your heart flip in that same rhythm as before—the one you had been so keen on avoiding, but was becoming unbearable.

“Do you like it?” you parroted, showing him the wall with your hands. You exhaled, trying to calm your nerves down—but it was futile.

“I love it,” he replied with a warm tone coating his words. Then he approached you with a slow step, slipping a hand on your waist to pull you closer to his frame. He leaned his head forward, planting a sweet kiss on your forehead. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

A vehement shudder crossed your entire body, and you let your eyelids fall closed as he planted another kiss on your forehead, this time longer. The words he said were ones you knew your heart was aching to hear—but the noise inside your head didn’t let you form a response.

The doorbell rang loudly, making you cringe visibly and turn to the door. “I’ll get it,” you said, slipping out of his embrace.

“No, I’ll get it,” Jeonghan said kindly.

“Then I’ll go get the birthday girl,” you said, forcing a smile that didn’t feel too stiff on your face—but your heart was going a thousand miles per second.

Jeonghan caught something in your face, his eyes outlining your features before you turned around and hurried down the hall and to the toddler’s bedroom.

Sohee was playing with the new dinosaurs that her father had gotten for her birthday. She already got them all lined up on the colorful bookshelf in one corner of the room. Your stomach twisted with cuteness overload when you heard the tiny noises she was making for a triceratops as she made it stomp across the shelf.

“Hey kiddo,” you cooed, approaching her and crouching behind her. “Your friends are here. Do you want to come with me and greet them?”

She turned around and directed a steady look at your face. “Yeap,” she nodded happily, taking another dinosaur in her fist and running out of the room, squealing like she knew she was the star of the day.

You rose, and with a big sigh, you followed the toddler down to the dining room. You greeted the guests, parents of Sohee’s friends from daycare. And before you knew it, the party had already started, and it was going smoothly.

You made light conversation as you got juice boxes for all the kids, who weren’t many, but they felt like a massive multitude when they were swarming around you trying to get juice boxes and goodie bags.

“Alright, alright!” you laughed, holding up both hands. “Everyone will get one, I promise!” you said while handing a goodie bag to each kid.

You felt a hand on the small of your back. “That includes me?” Jeonghan asked close to your ear before planting a kiss on your cheek.

You leaned into the kiss. “If you behave, I’ll consider it,” you replied warmly.

“Mmn,” he hummed, pressing another loving kiss. “You know you’re all I want.” 

Your heart stammered, making you blink and find his eyes. Your tongue twisted, and you wished you had been quick enough to quip back something as enticing—but it was already too late. The doorbell rang again, but this time, neither you nor Jeonghan had to go get it.

It was Sohee’s mother, Soomin. She had only rung the doorbell to announce her arrival, since she knew the combination to the smart lock—a thing you had thought only you and Jeonghan knew, but you were proven wrong.

The person who crossed the door was entirely not what you had imagined. In all the scenarios where you had pictured yourself meeting Jeonghan’s ex and the mother of his child, you’d never imagined that it would be like this.

Soomin was beautiful. She was tall and had a bright smile as she crossed the door. “Where’s my girl?” she shouted from across the apartment, and your poor heart fell to your stomach when you saw Jeonghan smile widely.

“Oh, thank god,” he mumbled beside you. He ran quickly to his daughter, snatching her from the floor and making her squeal with the abrupt movement. Sohee laughed, drawing the attention of the room as Jeonghan carried her to see her mother. “Sohee baby, mom’s here!”

“Hi, peanut,” Soomin said in a high-pitched tone. “Happy birthday, sweetheart! Mommy is here,” she said, and then she leaned towards Sohee, who was sitting in Jeonghan’s arms.

But Sohee recoiled, turning her back to her mother. It was only natural, you thought, since the child barely recognized the face in front of her. But the scene before you hurt to watch either way. Jeonghan bounced the toddler in his arms, trying to drag her attention back to Soomin, who was getting something out of her leather handbag.

“Look what mommy got for you!” Soomin said, still speaking in that faux sweet tone. “Look!”

Sohee turned to see her mother getting a red gift bag, small enough that it fit inside the slick black leather bag. Sohee stared at it for a hard second before extending her hand and grabbing it, and then she proceeded to kick her legs to the floor.

“Alright,” Jeonghan said, putting the toddler back on the floor.

Sohee ran freely, and back to her little friends. Your gaze followed back to Jeonghan, who greeted Soomin with a very dry hey, but then approached to give her a quick hug, devoid of all kinds of affection. It was almost like neither of them knew how to treat each other anymore.

“Wow, you really went out this time,” Soomin said, looking at the decorations, the birthday cake carefully set in the centre of the table, birthday plates piled up, and trays of fruit and candy already about to empty.

“Oh, it was all her,” Jeonghan said, extending an arm towards you almost ceremoniously.

Your heart warmed up at the gesture, but your nerves had eaten you up already. You approached them with a stiff step until Jeonghan wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you up to his side, showing you off proudly.

“So I can put a face to the name, finally,” Soomin said, showing you a dashing smile. She extended a hand towards you. “I’m Soomin, Sohee’s mother.”

You took her hand. “Pleasure to meet you,” you said, smiling at her politely.

At that exact second, one of the little kids had pulled one of the candy trays from the table and thrown the candy all over the floor. “Oh—” you uttered, motioning to go clean the candy from the floor.

“I’ll get it,” Jeonghan said, giving you a quick but reassuring look. And then he said to you, “I’ll be back, baby.”

And you knew he didn’t want to leave you alone with his ex, but he also didn’t want you to go and clean up the floor. So you stood there, anxiously watching as Jeonghan picked the candies and put them back on the tray one by one.

“Can I help with anything?” Soomin asked, more for decency than true intentions of helping.

“Nope,” you said awkwardly. “Everything’s set up.”

Soomin leaned her head to one side slightly before throwing one glance to the kids playing with Sohee. “You’ve done a lot already.”

“It’s not that big of a party,” you said, shrugging.

She smiled faintly, and you knew what she was looking at. “It’s big enough,” she said faintly.

You followed her gaze, finding Sohee playing with one of her little friends. They were both sharing a soundboard that someone at the party had gifted her.

“She’s shy, isn’t she?” Soomin said, her tone was devoid of snark, but then she added, “Kind of like her father.”

Although the comment wasn’t ill-natured, it hurt your heart to hear it. “She just takes a minute,” you replied, wishing you hadn’t sounded so harsh towards Soomin. But your heart was beating frantically, making you afraid that it was going to jump out of your chest.

And then you watched as Soomin’s gaze went around the room again, stopping on the wall behind you. Her dark brown eyes went over the balloons forming a giant daisy, and the big birthday sign made by you.

“You’re really good with her,” Soomin said after a moment. Her eyes found you. “Jeonghan has told me about you.”

Your tummy clenched. “I care about her.”

“I can tell,” she replied, and then you caught an edge in her tone. And then added, softer, “Not everyone would step into something like this.”

You frowned. “Like what?”

Soomin raised her eyebrows, gesturing around the apartment, the toddlers. “Well, a life that’s already in progress, you know what I mean?”

You told yourself that the words were neutral. Nothing was targeted towards you. But it still felt like it was.

You forced a smile. “I didn’t see it that way.”

Soomin’s expression didn’t change; it was as though she were having a great time talking with you. “That’s probably why you’ve made it work. It was really brave of you to have stepped in. To do what I couldn’t.”

Your stomach clenched again, and your mouth twitched like you were about to tell her something you’d regret.

“Baby! Where are the candles?” Jeonghan called from the kitchen.

You exhaled, glad. “Excuse me,” you said, and as you walked away, you felt Soomin’s gaze on you, following you.

Your ears were ringing, anger still boiling inside you. Jeonghan was closing a drawer, his expression hardening at once as he took one look at you. “Everything okay there, beautiful?” he asked, glancing towards the living room.

You could still feel Soomin’s eyes on you. You nodded. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” you said, trying to mask your anger. You would talk about it with him later.

His eyes outlined your expression. “Sure?” 

“Sure,” you said, opening the top cabinet and then handing him the pack with green and pink candles in it.

Jeonghan grabbed the candles, sighing. “Looks like the party is going well,” he said, giving you a hopeful smile and glimmering eyes.

Despite the rage still tightening your stomach, you smiled at him. “Sohee’s happy,” you said, casting a look at Sohee. “I’ll go get her,” you told him, turning around and walking towards Sohee.

The toddler was happily focused on her toys and her little friends. Her eyes were wide and glimmering in excitement, and candy wrappers were spread all across the floor. Something caught your eye—a red, unopened gift bag, forgotten in one corner of the living room.

“Princess, come here,” you called softly, crouching behind her to see her at eye level. “Do you want cake?”

The question caught her attention immediately, making her turn around and face you. You stretched your hands to her, and she silently responded by stretching her little arms to you. You grabbed her, standing up to secure her at your hip, and she instantly wrapped her legs around you.

“Oh, I got her. Let me.”

Soomin was already behind you, showing you her palms so you could transfer Sohee to her grip. A pang of jealousy sank deep inside your belly, making you want to hold Sohee closer to your body, almost like a protective defence mechanism.

You conceded, though begrudgingly. “Of course,” you replied, but there was no way you could hide the disappointment in your tone.

With a fretful pain lacing your heart, you handed Sohee over to her mother. The toddler kicked her legs anxiously and turned to look at you as though trying to understand she wasn’t in your arms anymore. And with little control over yourself, you glanced in Jeonghan’s direction, almost as knowing he’d be looking. He had watched the whole exchange from afar, and he immediately recognized the dispirited look on your face, because all he did was offer you a solemn smile.

It made your blood boil. What else could he do? A tiny voice called inside your head. You’re not Sohee’s mother. The voice said with painful regret.

It was the truth. No matter how bad it hurt, you weren’t Sohee’s mother. And you were getting attached to her—attached to this life without having a true anchor to it.

And the thought ruined the rest of the night for you.

So you watched as Soomin sat on the table with Sohee sitting on her lap, the toddler forgot about the anxiety of being with a stranger as soon as Jeonghan stepped beside the chair and lit up the candles on the cake.

You debated whether to step closer or just watch from afar. The candles you had picked for Sohee’s cake were green and pink, and a single sparkling candle that, once Jeonghan got to light it up, stole the attention of the toddler. Her big, brown eyes glimmered in the dark against the sparkles that flew up to the ceiling, and instead of gasping or crying out as the other kids did, Sohee just stared at it, fascination spread across her face, parting her little lips.

Your stomach twisted in adoration. And you couldn’t resist it. You pulled out your phone and hit the record button, determined to save this little moment forever—even if in real life it only lasted about fifty seconds.

Sohee was happy. She ate cake happily, shared her toys with her friends and seemed to be getting better at talking with others. And that was the only shining light in your night.

By the time that all the guests had left, the apartment didn’t look as wrecked as you half expected it to be after hosting about fifteen people in it. The paper plates were stacked in a crooked tower, forks and spoons piled next to it on the kitchen counter, breadcrumbs spread all over the surface. There were plastic cups everywhere, toys, gift bags and confetti all over the living room floor.

The front door opened, and Jeonghan slipped inside the apartment, quietly closing the door behind him. The minute he stepped in, you decided to busy yourself by looking for a large trash bag that you had left somewhere in the kitchen.

“Well, that’s everyone,” Jeonghan said, pleased that all of the guests had gone home. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing.

You started shoving trash into the bag as quickly as you could without making too much noise, and you were half glad that there was so much to do before you went home because you needed to think.

But Jeonghan had already noticed you were in a mood, and you could feel him hovering in the kitchen, trying to get a read on you. “The party went really well. Everyone had a lot of fun,” he said, his tone gentle.

You were grabbing a bunch of plastic cups in one hand, throwing them inside the bag without caring that they were still half full. “Yeah. Sure,” you huffed, continuing to clean the dining table.

The silence that followed was truly unsettling, making you weigh on the tone you had used and the manner in which you were moving. You were stepping out of control, and you didn’t care where you were taking this conversation.

By the time you found the courage to raise your gaze, you found Jeonghan frowning at you. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Air left your lungs like you were suddenly punched in the chest. “Did you have fun today?” you asked, raising your eyebrows. “Because I didn’t.”

Jeonghan’s frown didn’t ease; he was confused. But his gaze softened, showing you worry. “What do you mean?” he asked, his tone dropping when he added, “Did something happen?”

You left the bag aside on the floor, dropping your arms at your sides in a defeated manner. “I mean, I spent the entire evening running around, trying to make sure everything worked,” you said, gesturing around you. “I made the food, drinks, decorations, and cleanup. I didn’t have the chance to sit down once.”

Jeonghan blinked. “You didn’t have to do all that.”

You sighed. “That’s easy to say now.”

He shifted his weight, motioning to approach you. “That’s not what I meant—”

“I know,” you cut him off, putting a hand between him and you. “I know you meant it nicely.”

You could feel the waves of emotion coming closer, coming to get you. And your body acted off of instinct, picking up one stray napkin on the table and folding it in half, almost as though preparing yourself to have something in your hand for when you started crying.

With a tearless sob, you added. “It would’ve been nice if someone had noticed while it was happening.”

Jeonghan’s frown disappeared. “I noticed.”

“Did you?” you asked, still holding your emotions back.

“Of course I did,” he said, his tone dropping to an even gentler one.

But you could still feel the tears prickling in your eyes, everything you held back making you taste them in your tongue. “Then why was I still doing everything while everyone else was enjoying the party?”

Jeonghan tilted his head to one side, looking at you as though finding you endearing that you were about to cry for something like this, but still approached you with caution. “Why didn’t you ask for help?” he said, and then he hesitated, almost as though wanting to take back his words, so he added instead, “I was busy with things as well, I thought we were both busy, baby.”

You deadpanned to him. “You really didn’t think I wanted to enjoy the party too?”

He opened his mouth, his eyes widening as his mind started to reel, you knew it.

But you kept going. “I wanted to sit down with her when she opened her presents. Or be next to her when she blew out the candles. Honestly, Jeonghan, I felt like a guest at a party I helped throw. I couldn’t even hold Sohee for two minutes!”

His face fell in utter worry, his shoulders going slack. “Is this all because Soomin wanted to hold her?” he asked, his tone hollow, like he now couldn’t believe you were throwing a tantrum over this.

You let out an exasperated sigh. “No—! Yes! But it’s not only that!” you stammered.

Jeonghan stepped back, but just slightly, as though he wanted to take a good look at your face—disbelief still contorting his face. “Soomin was just trying to have a moment with her as well,” he shook his head. “I don’t see that as a bad thing. Maybe you’re reading too much into it.”

“Am I?” you asked, raising your tone.

And Jeonghan sighed. “Baby… she’s Sohee’s mother.”

It wasn’t necessarily cruel. His tone was devoid of venom, but it still hurt—like a bitter truth being forced down your bloodstream, burning and leaving an ache in its wake.

Your entire body shook before a powerful shudder. “Right,” you said slowly.

Jeonghan immediately realized the weight of his words, the pain translating in your features. “Wait—” he said, his jaw set tight as his eyes widened in worry. “Baby, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant—”

You shook your head. “No, I get it,” you said, but your voice had lost all power, and the wall you had put between reason and emotions crumbled. Tears burst in your eyes, and a sob broke through your chest.

“You’re right. I’m not her mom,” you continued, giving him a brittle smile. “I never forgot that. Not for a second,” you said, voice cracking slightly. “You know, I keep reminding myself of that. Of where I stand.”

Jeonghan took another step towards you, this time more decisive. “Baby, you’re blowing this out of proportion,” he said, trying to be nice still, trying to figure out how to calm you down.

You looked down to wipe your tears. Confetti was spread all over the floor, and your stomach twisted at the thought of how this scene might appear from the outside. The apartment was a mess—gift bags, wrapping paper, candy, and new toys scattered across the living room. A half-eaten cake sat on the table, and balloons were stuck to the walls. The lights in the kitchen and living room remained on. You and Jeonghan were arguing, trying to keep your voices down so as not to disturb the little girl’s sleep.

You finally found the strength to look at him again. And when Jeonghan saw your tired face, fear replaced the worry in his eyes. He saw the determination in your eyes—he knew you well. “I think I’m going to go.”

Jeonghan sighed, motioning a step closer. “It’s late. Stay,” he said, his tone still wrapped in a careful gentleness.

You shook your head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jeonghan,” you said, your tone fading into a mere whisper. “I’m going home.”

He took a pause, studying you with his gaze roaming all over the features of your face, finding something in your eyes that made you wonder what you would look like. Because he seemed to lose all composure. “Baby, come on,” he said, his eyebrows drawn in. “We just had a fight. That doesn’t mean you need to leave.”

You sighed tiredly. “It wasn’t just a fight, Jeonghan,” you said calmly. All need to fight was gone now. You had lost. You shook your head. “I’m done.”

You turned around, heading towards the door. But you caught a glimpse of Jeonghan’s expression, the shock and worry making his eyes wide and glistening. “Baby.”

You grabbed your sweater and your handbag. The only two non-disposable belongings you had in his house.

“Baby,” he insisted again, more firmly now. “You’re not seriously leaving because of something I said.”

You paused, but you didn’t let the moment catch you in your determination. “It’s not just something you said. It’s a fact.”

Jeonghan stiffened, but words got stuck in his mouth, making his throat bob visibly.

You wrapped your fingers around the doorknob. And then all self-control slipped out of your hands. “Today I learned two things. One is that I was changing my whole life to fit into yours,” you told him, pulse quickening when you realized what you were doing, what you were breaking. “And the other thing is that I was the only one doing that.”

Jeonghan took a weak step towards you, his eyes showing the realization of what was about to happen. “We can still figure things out,” he whispered, eyes wide and glossy.

And something reminded you of how easy Soomin walked back into Jeonghan and Sohee’s life, how fleeting her presence was compared to the mess you had in your hands now. Your heart was breaking, and you couldn’t fit in your head how easy it was for her to walk out and walk back in. You envied that for a split second, because now you had a broken heart to fix.

Jeonghan still thought the problem was logical. And not something you had been wanting him to truly see.

You took in a deep breath. “Goodbye, Jeonghan,” you whispered, slipping out through the door and shutting it quietly behind you.

Coming back home to your apartment felt hauntingly out of the ordinary. It was as though you were stepping into a scene that had been put on pause. There was a forgotten glass of juice half empty on the kitchen counter, and you couldn’t remember leaving it there. The ironing board was standing in the middle of the living room, iron unplugged and in the holder—two things you had left there while in a hurry to get to your work in time. Plants all over the apartment were starting to wither, neglected.

A secondary instinct kicked in, telling you that at this hour you’d be helping Jeonghan tidy the place up while Sohee slept. You’d be stacking toys back into their place, folding blankets while Jeonghan did the dishes.

You closed your eyes slowly, finally hurting when you realized that you had walked out on all of it.

And your apartment didn’t feel like home.

You left your things on the counter and decided to plop down on the couch, face down against the cushions. Your pulse hadn’t slowed down since the moment you’d said goodbye to Jeonghan—and when you collapsed on the couch, you realized that you were crying. And you weren’t crying angry tears like when you were having a fight with Jeonghan, no.

You sobbed uncontrollably, tears kept coming and blurring your vision. And there was nothing in your mind except the memory of Jeonghan’s face when you walked out on him. You did the right thing, you told yourself, but your heart felt empty.

It had been the right thing. That much was true.

You loved Jeonghan. You loved Sohee.

Somewhere in the kitchen, you heard your phone buzzing, vibrating furiously inside your handbag. You ignored it. And you ignored it ten times all through the night, until it eventually ceased ringing.

Quiet settled around the empty apartment. An apartment that was yours, with all the things you built on your own. And the worst part is that it didn’t feel like home anymore. You kept wanting to reach for your car keys and leave somewhere.

Did you overreact? You wondered. I probably did blow everything out of proportion. You thought, remembering Soomin’s satisfied face when she told you that you were brave for stepping into her shoes.

Your chest tightened.

But you pushed it down.

The first twenty hours were hell.

That’s how Jeonghan felt. Like a long, gruelling torture that only pushed him to reflect.

The balloons on the wall had started to deflate, but he didn’t want to take them down. The rest of the things that you had prepared for the party had already been cleaned up, one thing that Jeonghan had done the morning after you left. It helped him think instead of bombarding your voicemail with messages pleading with you to call him back.

I could just go to her apartment, he thought. But he imagined the scene—Sohee on his arms as he begged you to come back. And he instantly pushed the idea away.

The apartment was awfully quiet. Until his phone started to vibrate on the dining table, making his stomach drop, and his hand reached for it instantly, thinking it was you, finally calling him back.

Soomin.

Jeonghan sighed, his heart deflating.

But then, a knock came to the front door. And for a moment, he thought he imagined it.

Then it came again. You knocked two quick times, deciding to step back from it and wait, clasping the gift bag with your hands. Standing there, your gaze fell out of focus, and inevitably started comparing the times you had stood there, how quickly Jeonghan would get to the door and welcome you in with open arms.

When Jeonghan finally opened the door, it was the first time you had seen him truly torn. It was normal for you to see him untidy after a long day at work, hair messy, unmade tie, untucked shirt, whatever. But no, this time was different. His face was darkened by the dark circles under his eyes, but it was the deep, conflicted sparkle in them that disheartened you completely.

“Hi,” you croaked, and cleared your throat nervously.

Jeonghan let out a quick sigh, running a palm down his mouth and chin before stepping aside, letting you in.

Your stomach twisted. You didn’t know what you were expecting him to say, but silence was the last thing you had anticipated. But you stepped into the apartment anyway, immediately spotting the quietness, which could only indicate one thing.

“Where is she?” you muttered, turning around to see Jeonghan shutting the door behind him quietly.

“Asleep,” he told you quietly, leaning back against the door with his hands tucked behind his back. You noticed the tired look he gave you, but that wasn’t the only thing that consumed your attention wholly—he was wary. “I just put her to bed.”

Your heart squeezed one more time, and you gave him a reproachful look. “Oh, okay,” you sighed, looking at the green gift bag in your hands. “Then I’ll leave this with you. She’ll like it, I’m sure. It’s a—it’s an axolotl plushie,” you said, stammering over your words with the need to hurry and get this over with. You wanted to run back to your car and cry.

Jeonghan nodded, licking his lips in a way that told you he had a lot to say, but decided to remain quiet. See how things would unfold first.

But this wasn’t going according to your plans. Your eyes began to brim with tears, which you blinked away quite successfully. “I wanted to see her one last time. Say goodbye properly,” you told him, tone lowering as your throat closed up.

He leaned the back of his head against the door, and as he blinked slowly, you saw his walls crumble down. “I know,” he said, his tone lowered too. He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing visibly.

You saw him blink up, fixing his gaze on the ceiling. “Is that why you put her to bed earlier than usual?” you asked keenly. “So I wouldn’t get to see her?”

Jeonghan nodded slowly, moving his arms and crossing them on his chest. “I didn’t want her to see this. I’m sorry,” he shrugged with a look of pity on his face. “But I think we should talk first.”

You felt your brow furrowing. “I thought we already talked, Jeonghan. Last night,” you said, feeling lost.

“Yeah, but last night you walked out on me,” he said, tilting his head to one side as his gaze changed, quickly being filled with disappointment and resentment. He pushed himself away from the door, approaching you with the same wariness.

“There was nothing left to say,” you muttered, trying to keep down the tight knot sitting in your throat.

“Really?” he gasped, stopping dead in his tracks just one step in front of you. His face had fallen in something that went far beyond resentment now, like uncontrolled exasperation and anger. “We could’ve solved things last night before you ended everything!”

Shame filled your bloodstream, coursing through your body and leaving your skin feeling hot and prickling with anger. You carefully set down the gift bag on the table, deciding to leave. “I won’t let anyone treat me like I’m second-best, Jeonghan. That’s why I walked out.”

It was as though you had slapped him in the face. He stepped back, blinking in a way that told you that your words had hurt him. But before you could have a confirmation on this, Jeonghan took another step, but now in your direction. “I didn’t treat you like second-best,” he replied, his face crumpling with hurt, and most shocking—you saw fear in his eyes.

“No? I was trying to make everything perfect for Sohee. And by the end of it, what did I get? Your ex walking all over me like I’m her stand-in!” you blurted, words coming out raw and shaky. But you were glad that, despite the overwhelming need to cry, you could still speak what troubled your heart.

Jeonghan looked at you like he was finally seeing the truth. Almost as though he had willingly blindfolded himself throughout the party last night, but now, he finally saw something he didn’t want to.

So, with heat flooding your chest, you continued, “You truly didn’t notice, Jeonghan? The tacit remarks she’d make? Or when I wanted to hold Sohee and she would casually step in? Or what about the moment she told me I was brave for doing what she couldn’t?” you said. Your throat tightened, anger burning as tears finally spilled. You wiped them angrily, refusing to look away.

“She said that?” he said with an empty look in his eyes as his shoulders sagged a little. “I didn’t hear her. I actually thought she was being nice. For once.”

“Maybe you didn’t want to see it because she was being nice to you,” you accused, crossing your arms to hold yourself steady. Or to protect yourself. “That’s myproblem. She doesn’t have to fight for a space!”

“That’s not fair. You don’t have to fight for a space—”

“No, but I do,” you interrupted, blood heating up after remembering how it felt. “And what’s not fair was pretending she was being nice. She knew exactly what she was doing, and whether you meant it or not, you let her.”

“I should’ve known she would do things when I wasn’t looking,” Jeonghan replied, his tone firm. But then his gaze softened, right as he too crossed his arms, making you think that he was guarding himself up as well.

You let out a resigned sigh. “But this isn’t truly about your ex, Jeonghan,” you finally said, gulping hard. “This is about us failing to do things right.”

And when he lifted his gaze back to you, you noticed a glint in his eyes, like sorrow taking over him. He wasn’t crying, but your heart slowed down at seeing that torn-up look on him. Your words had struck a nerve. “This isn’t on me—I tried making things right!” he said, not lifting his tone, his words devoid of heat.

“You were rushing into things! Asking me to move in? Putting me as the emergency contact on Sohee’s file without telling me?” you said, trying to keep your tone light, but instead you sounded like you were on the brink of tears again.

He still looked hurt, but now, he was beginning to detach himself from you—and you could tell. He shook his head like he couldn’t believe you, running a hand down his mouth, frustratedly. “I thought that you moving in with us would make us stronger. But now I know we weren’t on the same page with that.”

You understood why he delivered his words dryly, but it still made your aching heart deflate even more. Tears burst from your eyes again, and you hated that you were now out of control. “I just wanted to know that you weren’t just looking for someone to share the burden with.”

He let out a huff, a cold smile painting his face. “I don’t need someone to share the burden with; I have been doing fine on my own since Soomin left.”

You rolled your eyes—he was missing the point. “I wanted to be certain that you wanted me.”

That left him cold. His arms were still crossed on his chest, but you saw the smallest of budges, as though the very air had left his lungs, cracking that wall he was putting between you. “Is that it? Is that why you said no?” he asked, his tone softer. He motioned to approach you, but the look on your face stopped him.

You were fully crying now. No sobbing, no hiccupping, no runny nose. Just unstoppable tears streaking down your cheeks. Your lip trembled, just as you were looking for the words to tell him what you needed to hear from him.

His mind reeled—you could tell from the way his gaze shifted quickly, dropping from your face to the ground and then back to you. His brow twitched. “I thought you knew.”

You nodded. “I still needed to hear it, Jeonghan.”

His gaze fell to the space between you, as though trying to untangle this mess in his mind.

But it didn’t matter now. Nothing he could say now would ease the pain in your chest. You were done now. You wanted to go home.

You didn’t say goodbye this time. You didn’t want to drag it any further.

You walked past him, rushing to the door before he could stop you—or to be quick and have the confirmation that he wouldn’t try to stop you. And when you were safe in the elevator, your heart broke anew when you blinked and saw the image of Jeonghan standing in the dining room, a grief-stricken look on his face.

Oh, this would take you months to heal.

Your friends were right. Getting into a relationship with someone like Jeonghan would only bring you pain. Nothing else.

The walk from the elevator to where you had parked your car was excruciatingly long. Your chest was constricting more and more as you fished your key out of the pocket of your jeans, unlocking the car door from afar.

“Wait!”

Jeonghan’s raw voice crossed the parking lot like lightning shooting through the night sky. You stopped, not because you wanted to follow the request, but because of the sheer shock of knowing that he’d chased you down to the parking lot.

Jeonghan was catching up, running to where you stood, frozen to the ground. “Wait,” he pleaded, breathing hard as he reached you. “Don’t go… please.”

Had he run down the emergency stairs just to catch you before you got in your car? Had he left Sohee alone just to get to you? You stared at him, beyond disbelief.

He composed himself with one deep breath, raising his palms at you warily. “I know I don’t deserve this, but please hear me out.”

When you didn’t respond, a wild look of fear shot across his face, making his eyes widen slightly. “I didn’t ask you to move in with us because I wanted someone to share the burden of being a parent,” he said, his words honest despite the tremble in his tone. “I said those things because Sohee is my priority. I was dumb, and that was the first thing that popped into my mind. I wasn’t thinking of how I sounded.”

He gulped air, hard. “I asked you to move in with us because I feel empty when you’re not around,” he said, more fiercely, his eyes glimmering as he took another step towards you. “I asked you to move in with me because of the most selfish reason—because I don’t want to be without you.”

And then the look in his eyes turned to complete despair when you remained motionless. His confession had done nothing to you, or so he appeared to believe. But your heart was beating wildly, thumping in your eardrums. You stood there, torn between holding your ground and giving in to him.

His mouth parted, and he took half a pace to where you stood. But he stopped, as though all strength and courage had dissipated the moment your eyes began to brim with tears again. “Please,” he whispered, gulping hard once again. And you knew what he was feeling—his heart thrumming in his throat. “Don’t do this.”

He wasn’t scared of losing a perfect candidate for his ex’s stand-in. No—and you were a fool to have believed that. You had seen the terrible person his ex was and still decided to run with that idea.

What you had failed to remember was that Jeonghan had gone through difficult breakups before. His ex left him with a baby in his arms. And even if his relationship with Soomin had been loveless from the start, it was still hard, and it still hurt.

God knows how long it had been since Jeonghan felt love.

And the truth is, you trusted that not even he remembers it as well.

Jeonghan was exceptionally bad at sharing his feelings aloud. That is one thing you’ve learned in all eight months you’ve been with him. But then you saw his posture change, the strength in him waning. “I won’t let things go this way again,” he told you, his eyes pleading.

A brutal shudder coursed through you. You loved this man. There was no way you could just turn around and walk away.

Your lip trembled. “You promise?”

It was as though life had been injected into him, hope glimmering in his eyes now. “I promise,” he replied.

With just a couple of paces, you closed the space between you and him, grabbing him by the collar of his black t-shirt and pulling him in. And he simply let you, receiving the impact of your smaller body against his by grabbing you by the waist, already knowing you were aiming for a kiss.

Your lips clashed with his in a crushing kiss; it almost hurt, but you didn’t care. Your body brimmed with energy, making your fingers curl around the fabric of his t-shirt. It was a leap of faith—but this time, you were ready. “I love you,” you said, squeezing your eyelids tightly.

A small sigh escaped him. “I love you too,” he replied, switching his hands from your waist to your face, cupping it before going back to kissing you. “Please, stay,” he whispered before pressing his lips against yours tightly.

You melted in his embrace. “Okay,” you replied, nodding.

He wrapped you with his arms completely, placing one hand on your back and the other on your head, making your face nuzzle against the crook of his neck. “You scared me,” he whispered, the sound of his voice strangled.

You swallowed hard. “You scared me too,” you admitted.

He kissed the top of your head, moving to cup your face again. “I know this doesn’t solve everything,” he said, his tone brittle. That’s when you noticed his eyelashes crumpled with tears. “So I think we should talk about what comes next.”

You shifted slightly to get the tears on the corners of your eyes. “What do you mean?”

He seemed to calm down with one breath. “Soomin is still going to be part of our lives.”

You nodded. “I know.”

His eyebrows knitted slightly. “And sometimes our lives will get messy.”

“I know that, Jeonghan,” you whispered, smiling at him softly.

He caressed your cheek tenderly. “But I want you to talk to me every time something feels off,” he said.

“And will you?” you asked.

He nodded. “Every single time,” he said. “I want us to be stronger together.”

The certainty in his demeanour made you pause. “You mean that?” you asked with a tiny tone.

“Yes, I do,” he replied. “I should’ve told you this before. I don’t want to be without you.”

And now the honesty was the thing that disarmed you completely. For a second, you almost felt like your vulnerable side was about to win, but you sighed. “I was jealous of her,” you confessed.

He blinked in disbelief. “Of Soomin?”

You nodded. “She’s Sohee’s mom. I didn’t like to feel that I was competing with her.”

“You weren’t,” he said with certainty. “Things got messy yesterday. I didn’t notice she was trying to make you feel insecure.”

You shook your head lightly. “This whole thing feels ridiculous now.”

He frowned. “What does?”

“All of this,” you gestured to the space between you and him. “We nearly blew up our entire relationship because we couldn’t talk about what we actually feel.”

He let out a light laugh. “It won’t happen again,” he said, stepping back and grabbing your hand, motioning back to the building. “Let’s go back inside?”

You nodded, walking with him, feeling ten times lighter than before.

You both stepped into the elevator, still holding hands. But as soon as the doors closed, Jeonghan tugged at your hand, pulling you closer to his frame. He wrapped an arm around your waist, finding your cheek with the other hand. “Will you forgive me?” he mumbled softly, smiling at you like he was shy. “I let things go out of hand.”

Your heart softened again, making you choke up, so you just nodded. “Me too,” you whispered. “I apologize too.”

He blinked slowly. “We talked about this before, remember?” he told you. “My life is messy, and I haven’t had a relationship since Soomin. I think this is us trying to find the balance in everything.”

You smiled at him. “Please don’t tell me that finding the balance will look like this every time.”

He laughed lightly. “I told you, baby. I won’t let this happen again,” he said, full of certainty. “I mean it.”

You sighed softly, relief finally setting in. “Okay,” you whispered, closing your eyes as he leaned in to kiss you, pressing his lips against yours ever so tenderly, like he was trying to isolate every single feeling and just focus on how your lips felt against his.

The kiss deepened, lips locking together in a heated dance that had your blood dancing in your veins almost instantly. A moan bubbled in your mouth when you felt the tip of his tongue swiping on your bottom lip, touching your tongue as it rolled inside your mouth.

You placed a hand square on his chest. “Don’t think you’re off the hook,” you said, faking a stern look on your face.

The elevator reached the floor, doors parting with a soft ding. Jeonghan took your hand again, as though not wanting to let you go for one second. “I didn’t think it would be that easy,” he said with a smirk. “But please tell me what I can do to get there faster.”

You laughed. “Well, first, you could give me a neck massage.”

He raised his eyebrows. “That’s starting strong?” he laughed.

“And take me for dinner at that restaurant you keep telling me you wanted to take me,” you said.

“You free tomorrow?” he said while opening the door for you.

He quickly pushed your back against the wall of the hall to his bedroom, locking his lips with yours in a quick, but passionate kiss. “I could pick you up at eight,” he said, his tone raw.

“I dunno. I’ll have to check my calendar,” you replied jokingly, putting your hands on his chest, feeling him up.

Jeonghan giggled into the kiss. “You do that,” he replied.

You smiled, letting him dominate the kiss. And Jeonghan quickly took on the task, kissing you vehemently, like putting every emotion he felt for you into a silent dance of his lips with yours. His hands slipped from your face, finding your waist to clutch on as his tongue rolled inside your mouth.

You moaned, feeling his tongue against yours sent a shiver down your spine. Your hands on his torso slipped further down, finding the hem of his clothes and slipping beneath his shirt, feeling his warm skin.

The muscle of his abdomen contracted softly. “Wait—” Jeonghan said, pausing mid-kiss with a smacking sound from his lips and yours. “Bathroom.”

You were only able to moan out a sound of affirmation. The door to the bathroom was a couple of steps away from you, and when you both got there, it was as though a lightbulb had been switched on in your mind. Jeonghan was intending to take you to the most secluded place in the house—far away from the baby’s room.

Jeonghan turned the lights on with one hand, undoing the button of his jeans with the other. You acted quickly—taking one step in his direction and grabbing the black t-shirt, enjoying the look in his eyes, the hunger, the lust and devotion in them.

The clothes came off quietly—hurriedly, while his gaze remained trained on your face. Jeonghan was quiet, unusually quiet as you worked your trembling fingers to undress him. “Do you want to undress me?” you mumbled, your tone sweet, but low.

He blinked slowly and nodded, biting his bottom lip. He first grabbed the hem of your tank top, hiking it up your torso while you raised your arms to help him in the process. His gaze shifted to your chest when your bralette came into view. “I like this,” he whispered, running the pad of his thumb along the pretty lace hem of the cup of the bralette. “You know I like this one.”

You smiled softly. “If you’re suggesting that I wore the bra you liked to break up with you in case something happened, then you’re sorely mistaken,” you replied smugly.

He matched your smile. “I’m glad,” he whispered, tilting his head to meet your lips with his. He kissed you once, softly at first, his lips creating a low smacking sound when he pulled back, but not far. “I’m glad you didn’t break up with me.”

“I guess all we needed was to talk it out,” you joked in between hurried, heated pecks. Then your breath hitched, Jeonghan’s cold fingers had found the clasp of your bralette.

Jeonghan sighed in amusement. “Who would’ve thought,” he replied with an obvious tone while his hands gently eased the straps off your shoulders, and took your bra off your chest.

You needed one second to take in the situation in—you had just gone through one of the worst moments of your life, thinking that you were breaking up with the man you had fallen head over heels for. And now to be back in his apartment, hiding in the bathroom with him so that whatever went down in there wouldn’t wake the baby up.

It felt strangely exciting.

He pushed the tip of his nose against yours softly, making you angle your face as he swiped the tip of his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You parted your mouth, letting him in with a silent moan, right as his tongue found yours. He kissed you slowly, sensually, like he had been aching to do that for the longest time, but things just got in the way.

You understood then, all the intense gazes, the way he kept looking at your lips…

“From now on, I’ll tell you everything,” he told you suddenly, giving you small kisses as his hands came up to cup your face lovingly. “Every single thought that crosses my brain, you’ll know it.”

You laughed at that, the sound louder than anything else; it bounced off the walls in a denouncing manner.

“Quiet, baby,” Jeonghan uttered, but he let out a tiny giggle with you anyway. “Sohee might hear you.”

You couldn’t help it; your heart melted. “Sorry,” you whispered, but the smile didn’t wipe off your face.

He tilted his head to one side, smiling endearingly at you. “I have a feeling you like this,” he muttered, voice low like a purr.

You nodded, biting your lower lip as you pushed his boxers down.

“You like it when I tell you to be quiet,” he kept going, keeping his tone down.

His gaze dropped to your hands as you grabbed his cock and started stroking him with your hand wrapped around the underside of his shaft. He had a pretty cock, soft and veiny on his thick shaft, dark pink on its head.

Seeing your hand rolling up and down his erect cock made him swallow a grunt, but as you twisted your grip around him, the sounds he made grew louder. How easy it was for him to surrender under your touch caused a deep satisfaction to bloom in your chest. But more than that, arousal had already started to pulsate between your legs. You enjoyed giving him pleasure just as much as you enjoyed receiving it.

“I like everything you do, daddy,” you mumbled, your tone wrapped in honey.

“Fuck,” he sighed, pressing his forehead against yours. He slipped his hands on your waist, clutching your skin tightly but not enough for it to burn. “You make me crazy.” 

Your fist tightened around the crown of his cock, smearing the slick precum leaking from his slit. You loved pleasuring him, yes, but you needed him inside you—the thrumming between your legs ached to feel him. A cunning smile painted your lips, considering playing with him some more.

But Jeonghan caught that naughty smirk on your face.

In one motion, he pushed your back to the countertop of the sink. You gasped at the sudden movement, but before you could protest, he was already getting to one knee in front of you.

“If you make a single sound, I’ll stop,” he told you, his eyes darkened with need and lust.

And without waiting for your verbal response, his head dipped down, pressing his mouth to your mound. He kissed the top of your pussy first, pressing his lips to your skin tenderly, almost adoringly as his sweet brown eyes found yours, but briefly. You let out a ragged breath, parting your legs by half, sitting on the countertop. That gave him all the access to your slick folds, which he nipped and licked eagerly.

You instantly tensed, your hand finding his head and the other holding onto the basin like your life depended on it. Jeonghan knew you well; he knew how you liked being touched, how to eat your pussy out until you were a mess of tears and babbles. He knew how to make you cum. What he was doing now was just to tease you, to drive you crazy—licking the juices off your folds with pleased grunts from his part, loving the way you were always ready for him.

He grabbed your thighs, spreading you further apart so you stopped twitching and moving—and licked your pussy up and down slowly, thoroughly, only to tease you some more.

But then he finally wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking it ever so lightly.

Your jaw went slack, and to not let a scream out, the hand that was previously clutching the basin flew and landed on the tap, accidentally pushing it open. The sound of water flowing freely was the perfect mask for your whiny moans, because Jeonghan had started to run his tongue flatly on top of your engorged clit, all the while his lips kept it trapped.

Thoughts ceased to exist. Nothing mattered to you except for the sweet waves of pleasure running uncontrollably through your veins, making your skin prickle and your nipples pebble. It was as though you were submerged in a pool of pleasure. Your breathing turned ragged, and your body tensed solely to let the orgasm build up—because Jeonghan wasn’t stopping, and apparently, he had forgotten about the no noise rule.

Or maybe he liked this too.

But then he lifted his face slightly, keeping his lips and tongue on the top of your pussy as his lust-filled gaze met yours. You sank your teeth on your bottom lip, using the hand that was cradling the back of his head to push his face against your cunt, begging him silently to continue.

Jeonghan eyed the basin swiftly, briefly. And that was all the command you needed. You pushed your thumb against the tap, shutting it off.

However, he continued being a tease. Or a menace. He dragged his tongue against your swollen clit, pushing the wet muscle against you, achingly slow.

Your eyebrows pinched. Please, you begged with just one look.

There was a smile that only showed in his eyes right before he resumed eating you out, sucking and licking your clit. And he only needed to do it for mere thirty seconds before your orgasm tore through your body. You forgot about pulling his hair, taking that hand against your own mouth to stop yourself from screaming.

The waves of pleasure running through you were beyond anything else you’ve felt before. He’d teased you for so long that you were very much ready for that orgasm, leaving you limp and trembling on the countertop.

Your chest was rising and falling dramatically. Embarrassed, you cast a look at Jeonghan, who was pushing himself onto his feet with a light but wicked grin on his face. He didn’t need to say anything, he knew that you’d liked that.

And you needed him now.

You grabbed his wrist, pulling so that he stood between your thighs. “Wait,” he whispered, sliding his hands on your thighs to bring you to a halt.

You instantly knew what he’d say. You shook your head. “I want you now,” you mumbled.

But he motioned a hand to the cabinet behind you, where you knew he kept one large box of condoms. He kept it there and would also restock the bedside table every night you stayed in.

You grabbed him by the hip, pulling him closer to your body. “Now,” you whined. 

Jeonghan didn’t resist, didn’t question you.

His hands returned to your thighs, wrenching them further apart and positioning himself between them. Tilting your hips up, you angled yourself for him while still sitting back on the countertop—you knew he liked the view of his bare cock entering you, the view of your pussy stretched open with his girth.

So his head dipped, keeping his gaze where your body and his were about to join. He pushed his hips closer to yours, and you took his cock, guiding it to your sopping core. His mouth parted when the crown of his cock nuzzled your entrance, and a rush of excitement flowed through you when you felt him push inside.

Feeling him raw, skin on skin, was a delicious experience. Maybe it was more in your brain than in your body—because you swore you could cum right there and then, and he wasn’t even fully inside you.

You caught a glimpse of his face changing, of the pleasure taking over him quickly as he gave the first thrust, the muscle of his jaw twitched, and he immediately crushed his mouth with yours. With a muffled moan, he started moving, languidly at first, as though testing you.

“God, baby, you feel… amazing,” he whispered, pushing his hips with gentle motions. You believed that he wanted to take it slowly, so he wouldn’t finish fast and inside you. But then you heard how fucking wet you were. You could hear his cock slipping in and out of your walls, and Jeonghan wanted to enjoy it.

You cupped the side of his neck with one hand, motioning his gaze back to yours. You stared into his eyes for a long moment while he took your body slowly. Jeonghan blinked, his hands grabbing your thighs and motioning them around his hips, making it even harder for him to pull out.

It was a game you both had. And it made you feral. You loved it.

Jeonghan pushed his body flushed against yours, thrusting slowly, but deeply. “Like that?” he asked, although he didn’t need to—the look on your face told him enough.

But you nodded either way. You remembered what he said about telling you every single thought that crossed his brain, and you decided to give him some of your thoughts in return. “I love this,” you whispered. “I love feeling you like this.”

He let out a grunt, bowing his head to kiss your shoulder. “I know,” he sighed, his breath fanning your pert nipples. “I love it too.”

You slipped your hand from his neck and then locked your arms around his shoulders. All reason flew out of your brain, and then you knew you were just babbling—but you didn’t care. “The thought of you cumming inside me makes me cum,” you mumbled, uncaring of how pathetically sweet your tone sounded.

“Oh, fuck,” Jeonghan moaned loudly, the sound barely muffled by the crook of your neck, hips stuttering against yours for half a second.

You cupped his nape with your hand as he lifted his head to face you. “Yeah?” he hummed, his gaze taking you in. “Want me to pump you full of my cum?” he asked with a playful lilt.

You nodded, incapable of giving him a verbal reply. The question was crude; it sounded beyond dirty and sinful as it came out of his lips. This surely wasn’t the first time he spoke filthy things to you, but it was the first time he asked a question like this.

And you loved it.

The pacing of his thrusts quickened, but didn’t relent on their depth, keeping his body flush against yours. You could feel the film layer of sweat covering his skin, and for a moment, you couldn’t tell if you were sweating as well.

But you noticed that Jeonghan was forgetting about your game of keeping quiet. The pacing of his thrusts quickening also meant that the sounds of skin slapping against skin were harder to avoid. You thought of mentioning this to him, but it turned you on to see him lose control slowly.

“Babe,” you whispered, “be quiet.”

Jeonghan had to bite his smile back. And fuck, you loved this man. One of the things you loved about him was how sexy he could be. He pushed his hips against yours in a particularly thorough way that made you think he was trying to reach as deep into you as he could, making you whimper loudly.

“You be quiet,” he bit back, continuing to slip his cock in and out of your walls deliciously, making you see stars.

Your eyelids fell closed, but you could capture the image of him leaning his face closer to yours, feeling his breath on your lips before he kissed them. “Quiet or you won’t get to cum,” he said, his tone raspy, tired.

“Doesn’t that mean you won’t either?” you taunted, loving the way the pacing of his thrusts changed. You knew he was trying to draw out his own pleasure, make himself last longer.

Jeonghan laughed, the sound languid. “Remember how I got you to shut up that one time?” he asked, his tone still low, waning. And when the memory instantly flashed behind your closed lids, your walls tightened around him, drawing out a moan from him.

That time, he showed you a different side of himself. You were being louder than most nights, having fun by testing how far Jeonghan would go to make you submit to him.

“Yeah, you remember it,” he drawled, moving his face ever so slightly so he could join his lips with yours, all while still moving inside you painfully slow. He was edging you, and in turn, he was edging himself as well. “I thought you looked pretty with my cock inside your mouth,” he said.

You could’ve fallen over the edge in that second. A shameful whine came out of you, but you were too gone to even think of how pathetic you were sounding. You didn’t care. Having Jeonghan inside you, raw, and speaking filth to you felt so good. “I’ll be quiet, Hannie,” you told him. “Just don’t stop.”

With a grunt, Jeonghan obliged, changing the push and pull from a painfully slow one to a deliciously hard and deep one. You let out a silent moan, angling your hips to him so he could reach deeper inside you, so you could feel him completely.

Jeonghan cussed, his voice drowned out by the dull sound of skin hitting against skin. And it was then that you knew that this was his obsession—the quiet play, the bickering, the very obvious sounds of pleasure…

And you simply let him take you. The closer he grew to his orgasm, the closer you felt like giving in to the sweet pleasure dancing beneath your skin. Jeonghan parted his mouth, and you felt his hips buckling, his hands gripping your hips, his body flush and pushing against yours…

“Fuck, baby,” he said with a tired, but blissful drawl. “I’m close,” he said, his words heavy with meaning.  

And you knew what he wanted to say. “Inside,” you moaned. “Do it inside me.”

Jeonghan gave you another one of those hazy smiles, tilting his head back so you could see his face, while pleasure took over the features of his beautiful face. “Are you going to cum for me, sweetheart?” he asked, looking like he was in between happy and tired.

You nodded. “Uh-huh,” you mewled, aware that the sounds bouncing off the walls of the bathroom had become louder. But you didn’t care, and Jeonghan didn’t seem to pay attention.

He pushed inside, slamming his front to yours, switching the grip on one side of your thigh to your hair at the base of your head. “Then give it to me,” he whispered, the sound raspy and full of greed. “Cum for me.”

You could’ve gone off simply from the way he was talking to you. But you needed to get it done, fast, now. You moved your body slightly, taking your hand in between his body and yours and started rubbing your clit, teasing it with fast swirls. “Daddy,” you moaned, louder. His thrusts were deep, hard, and so fucking good. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Jeonghan responded with a deep moan of his own. “Baby,” he gasped, releasing the grip he had on your hair, his hand sliding down your back as he dropped his forehead on your shoulder.

You closed your eyes, letting your orgasm barrel down your body, letting Jeonghan push his cum deep inside you with a couple of final, languid thrusts. His face was pressed tightly against the crook of your neck, making your skin prickle as he breathed hard against you.

The inner side of your thighs trembled quite dramatically as you tried holding onto him. Jeonghan let out a light, breathy giggle, right as you, too, were composing yourself, caressing his naked back with the tips of your fingers.

Then you felt his lips on the crook of your neck, your shoulder, leaving a trail of goosebumps on your skin. “I’ll start a shower for you,” he croaked, lifting his head to direct a tender look at you. “I have to go check on Sohee.”

You nodded. “Okay,” you replied.

But there was a great reluctance in his following movements. Casting a look down your body, he carefully peeled his body back from yours, turning around to start the shower. You watched him as he walked back, only to plant a sweet kiss on the tip of your nose before grabbing his shorts and slipping through the bathroom door.

Once you found your limbs, you climbed off the counter and stepping before the shower. After testing the temperature, you stood below the stream, closing your eyes as you let the water wash down your face.

Your heart still felt heavy with the weight of a thousand questions and things that you still wanted to say. But one thing was finally clear to you.

The gentle sounds coming from the door announced he was back, right as you were halfway done washing up. When he stepped into the shower, he immediately wrapped his arms around you, his chest pressing against your back as he embraced you tightly. “Hey,” you mumbled, grabbing his forearm to squeeze him.

He inhaled deeply, pressing his lips to your hair. “Hey,” he replied, his tone low and raspy.

You turned around, moving on the shower floor so that the stream bathed his bare skin. “Let me,” you said, grabbing the soap and washcloth. 

Jeonghan gave you a sheepish smile. “Oh, are you going to wash me?” he asked, his tone turning playful as you nodded at him silently, looking into his eyes. “Alright, just don’t give me those eyes, or we’ll never get this done.”

You laughed, the sound filling the bathroom. His glimmering eyes found your face, and you could see the minute his mind snapped with decision. Cupping your face in his hands, he pulled you in for a kiss full of passion and endearment. “I love you,” he mumbled, his tone so gentle that it made you think he was relieved to say it.

“I love you,” you replied, laughing softly before he pressed his lips against yours again.

“What’s that?” he asked in between pecks.

“Nothing,” you huffed as he moved to kiss your cheek. “You’re very confident now.”

He responded with a light laugh of his own. “I don’t care. I’m going to say it more,” he told you, sounding serious like a warning.

“Good,” you mumbled faintly, as he bent down to kiss your neck.

“Starting now,” he said, slipping his hands from your lower back to your rear, pressing you against his frame.

“Careful,” you replied. “You might start sounding desperate,” you teased.

You felt him smile against your skin. “Desperate, huh?” he asked, his voice low and in your ear.

“Well,” you said, tilting your head to give him more space for him to kiss, “you did just almost lose me.”

He nodded. “That put things in perspective.”

A sigh escaped your mouth when he kissed a particular sweet spot on your shoulder. “You’re going a bit overboard.”

“Mmm,” he sighed against your skin. hands squeezing your ass, but just softly, tenderly. “I love you.”

You bit back a smile. “See?”

“You’re the one who wanted me to say it.”

“I didn’t say you had to start saying it every minute,” you said, smiling despite yourself.

He pulled back, making you miss his lips on your skin instantly. “I can slow down.”

You bit your lower lip, nodding. “Please.”

But he showed you a charming half smile. “I love you.”

You laughed, trying to push his shoulder. “You’re a tease.”

A pause. The smirk wiped off his face as he exhaled softly. “And yet,” he said, his eyes glimmering with something you hadn’t seen before in him, “you’re still here.”

You watched his eyes for a moment, your pulse quickening. “That’s still under review,” you tried to joke, sounding out of breath.

If Jeonghan heard your tone, he made no comment about it; he played along. “What can I do to help my case?”

“I already told you,” you said, looking at his eyes and then his lips.

He nodded, leaning to kiss the tip of your nose. “What else?” he whispered.

You slipped your hands from his shoulders, down his torso, feeling his warm and wet skin. “Let’s go to that water park… all three of us together.”

He smiled before pressing his lips against yours. “You got it,” he replied.

Your heart shuddered. “Jeonghan?” you mumbled softly, feeling his hands all over your skin, exploring you, getting you aroused again.

“Yes?”

“Ask me to move in with you,” you said, tone falling to a mere whisper.

He pulled back, only to look into your eyes. He didn’t hesitate. “Move in with me.”

Your eyes glimmered, your whole body trembling with joy, relief, and love. You nodded. “I’ll move in with you.”

Jeonghan smiled. “Good,” he mumbled, content. “I love you.”

You groaned softly, rolling your eyes playfully. “Oh my god,” you said, loving the sound of his laughter bouncing off the walls. He leaned over, showering you with kisses again. “I love you more,” you replied shyly.

“Impossible,” he said. 

› author's note pt. 2: hi hey hello!!

so, we're are so back. and jeonghan is coming back? hannieween is writing again? hell yeah

OKAY BUT I WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO ADDRESS SOMETHING HERE. apparently, tumblr has moved some things so that if someone comments, likes or reblogs a post that has been previously reblogged by someone else, i won't get to see those notifs. so for example, if you're not reblogging this from my page directly, i won't get to see it 😭 so if you guys comment, like, reblog, etc, i appreciate you all so much, i might not get to see it, but i appreciate it anyway!

anyway,

toodles!

~

Wonwoo wakes up before her.

It’s not intentional. He doesn’t plan it. He just opens his eyes and the room is still dim, quiet in that early-morning way where the world hasn’t decided to start yet. The curtains breathe softly with the subtle breeze as the electric clock on the bedside table blinks a forbidden hour. Y/N is curled toward him, blanket pulled up all the way to her shoulders, her hair messy in the way sleep never fails to cause. Her face is relaxed, unguarded. No smile. No awareness. Just her.

He watches her for a moment longer than necessary.

And between half-asleep and fully awake, his thoughts drift, into a feeling. Standing beside her months ago, hands steady even though his chest wasn’t. The weight of the ring when he slid it on. The quiet after everyone left. Waking up next to her for the first time and realizing this wasn’t temporary. Its forever

She was forever.

He reaches out, slow, careful not to wake her, and brushes a stray strand of hair away from her face. His thumb lingers near her temple. She stirs a bit, brows knitting for half a second, but she doesn’t wake yet. She exhales and settles again into him, closer this time, like her body knows where it belongs even when her mind is asleep.

Wonwoo smiles to himself.

Eventually, she wakes on her own. A small shift. Then a small sound, like a hum she doesn’t realize she makes. Her eyes open halfway, unfocused, then unconsciously land on him.

“…Why are you staring at me?” Y/N says, her voice thick with sleep.

He doesn’t even pretend. “Can’t I?”

She squints, clearly suspicious. “You look like you’re thinking way too hard for this… ungodly hour.”

“Maybe I am.” he shrugs.

She laughs softly, reaches out and pokes his cheek. “Bold of you to admit all this so early in the morning.”

Wonwoo catches her hand, presses it gently back to the mattress. “At least you’re awake now.”

“Unfortunately,” Y/N sighs, then peeks at the clock half annoyed. “It’s illegal for it to be this early.”

He hums in agreement and sits up. “Well I’m going to shower.” She watches him swing his legs off the bed, eyes following him like she’s still kind of waking up. Then she sits up too. “…Can I come in?” she half jokes, half wanting him to say yes with ulterior motives clearly in her mind.

He pauses mid-stand and looks back at her. “If you want.”

Her eyes widen in excitement and shock, “Really?”

“Well,” he says calmly, “yeah.”

She grins, already sliding out of bed. “Okay. Okay yeah.”

Wonwoo shakes his head, amused, and heads toward the bathroom while Y/N follows immediately, steps light and quick, like she might lose the chance if she doesn’t keep up.

They both quickly undress and Wonwoo turns the shower on as the steam quickly fills the bathroom and he steps into the shower first, the hot water cascading over his broad shoulders and down his toned chest.

He turns to watch Y/N follow, her naked body glistening under the spray as she joins him. Her full breasts bounce slightly with each step, nipples already hardening from the warmth and anticipation.

He pulls her close, his hands sliding over her wet skin, gripping her hips firmly. He leans down and captures her mouth in a deep kiss, tongues tangling as the water pounded around them. She presses against him, feeling his cock harden against her stomach, thick and ready.

Y/N reaches down, wrapping her fingers around his cock, stroking it slowly from base to tip. Wonwoo groans into her mouth, his hands moving up to cup her breasts, thumbs circling her stiff nipples. He pinches them lightly, making her gasp and arch into his touch. Breaking the kiss, Wonwoo spins her around so her back was to him, pressing her against the cool tile wall, the contrast of the hot water and cold surface making her shiver. He kisses the nape of her neck, trailing his lips down her spine while one hand slipped between her thighs.

His fingers find her pussy, already slick with arousal despite the water. He parts her folds, rubbing her clit in firm circles. Y/N moans, pushing back against him, her ass grinding into his bulge. 'Fuck me,' she whispers, her voice husk over the sound of the shower. Wonwoo doesn’t hesitate. He positions his cock at her entrance, the head nudging her wet lips. With a thrust, he buries himself inside her, filling her completely. Y/N cries out, her hands bracing against the wall as he started pounding into her from behind. The rhythm builds quickly, his hips slapping against her ass with each deep stroke. Water streams down their bodies, making every movement slick and urgent. Wonwoo reaches around, his fingers returning to her clit, rubbing faster to match his deep thrusts.

Y/N’s legs trembled as pleasure coiled tight in her core. She rocks back to meet him, taking him deeper. 'Harder,' she demands, and Wonwoo obliges, gripping her waist and slamming into her pussy with relentless force. Her orgasm hit first, waves crashing through her as she clenched around his cock, crying out his name. Wonwoo followed seconds later, thrusting deep one last time before pulling out and spilling his cum across her ass, the white streaks mixing with the water and washing away.

They stay like that for some moments, panting under the spray, before Wonwoo turns her to face him again. He kisses her softly, the intensity fading into satisfied warmth.

Later, the apartment hums with afternoon quiet.

Wonwoo is on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, a book open in his hands. His glasses have slipped just slightly down his nose, unnoticed. The TV is on, volume low, defo more background than entertainment.

Y/N passes by on her way to the kitchen, stops for half a second, reaches out, and nudges his glasses back up with one finger. She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t even look at him. Just keeps walking.

Wonwoo doesn’t look up either.

He smiles.

A few minutes later, she’s back, flopping down on the couch beside him. He turns a page.

“Come here,” he says.

Y/N immediately scoots closer, tucking herself against his side, head resting on his shoulder. He adjusts without thinking, angling the book so it’s comfortable, his arm settling around her waist like muscle memory. She watches her favourite show on the TV, while he reads, their breathing automatically syncing.

After a while, he closes the book, saying, “I bought a new camera.”

Y/N’s head lifts instantly. “Really?”

He nods, already reaching for it. “Yeah. The lens is different from my last one.”

She sits up, fully invested, watching him talk about it. He explains specs, features, little things that only excite him. She listens, smiling, eyes soft, because she loves this version of him. The focused one. The passionate one. Y/N has no idea the difference between the different features of the camera but she doesn’t care. She just loves to see her husband, her life talk.

When he finishes, she tilts her head asking, “Have you taken a photo yet?”

“…Not yet.”

She gestures at herself, mock offended. “Wow. I’m right here.”

He laughs. “Then pose.”

She gasps, “Wait, no. I’m not ready.”

She fusses for a moment, fixing her hair, changing positions twice. Wonwoo watches through the lens, thinking about how she’s beautiful even before she settles. Especially then.

The shutter clicks.

“Pretty.” Wonwoo mutters, just loud enough for Y/N to hear. She smiles at him fondly.

~

They get hungry not long after.

So Y/N moves to the kitchen, already pulling out ingredients to make their favourite stew, while Wonwoo stays on the couch, book open again, listening to the sounds she makes. Chopping. Stirring. Humming random songs under her breath.

She’s fifteen minutes into cooking when he finally gets up.

Y/N turns when she hears him. “Hey my love” she says brightly, like she hasn’t seen him all day.

He steps into her space and just wraps his arms around her and she hugs him back immediately. He kisses her forehead. Then her nose. Then her lips, long and slow, lingering there, one hand steady at her waist.

She smiles against him. “It’s simmering. Thirty minutes.”

He leans closer. “So you’re bored?”

“Very.”

Y/N sits on the counter as he edges closer to her. Their eyes meet. She looks at one, then the other, then his lips. She reaches up, removes his glasses, and once again kisses him slowly.

When they pull apart, he murmurs, “I think I can think of something to do in those minutes.”

She smiles.

Wonwoo guides her back onto the cool granite countertop, her legs parting instinctively as he stepped between them, his hands firm on her thighs.

"That's it, baby," he murmured, his voice low and commanding, eyes locked on hers. His fingers trace up her inner thigh, brushing the edge of her panties, already feeling the damp heat radiating from her core. She was soaked in seconds, her body responding to his touch like it always did—eager, and dripping with anticipation.

A soft moan escapes her lips as he hooks his fingers into the fabric and tugs it aside, exposing her slick folds. "Look at you, already so wet for me. You love this, don't you? Being spread out like this all for me." Wonwoo leans in, his breath hot against her skin, and presses a thumb to her clit, circling slowly. Her hips bucked, a whimper turning into a full-throated groan. "Shh, just feel it," he instructs, sliding two fingers along her entrance, teasing before pushing inside her tight heat. She clenches around him immediately, her pussy clenching and releasing in rhythmic pulses. "That's my girl. Let me hear you. Tell me how good it feels when I fuck you with my fingers like this." He curls them upward, hitting that spot that makes her vision blur, her back arching off the counter.

"Oh god... yes..." Y/N gasps, her voice breaking into a series of desperate moans, hands gripping the edge of the counter for leverage. Her thighs tremble around his waist, but he held her steady, pumping his fingers deeper, faster, his thumb relentless on her swollen clit.

Wonwoo watches Y/N’s face contort in pleasure, her lips parted, breaths coming in ragged pants. "You're making such a mess on my hand already. Imagine what my cock's gonna do to you." With his free hand, he unzips his jeans, freeing his thick shaft, hard and throbbing. He strokes himself once, twice, the tip glistening as he positioned it at her entrance, rubbing it through her wetness.

"Beg for it," he demands, his tone brooking no argument. "Tell me you want me to fill that soaking pussy."

"Please... fuck me Wonwoo," she moans, her words dissolving into incoherent cries as he thrust forward, burying himself to the hilt in one smooth motion. Her walls stretch around him, gripping tight, and she shatters almost immediately, her first orgasm ripping through her with a scream that echoed off the kitchen tiles. He doesn’t stop, gripping her hips and pounding into her relentlessly, the counter creaking under the force, overstimulating her in the process. "Good girl, coming all over my cock like that. Now take it deeper—feel every inch." Each thrust elicits louder moans from her, her body a quivering wreck, nails digging into his shoulders as a wave of pleasure crashed over her again, his words guiding her through it all.

Later, the stew is ready.

They sit at the dining table, eating quietly. Wonwoo looks up after a few bites. “This is really good.”

She grins. “I know.”

She tilts her head, smirking, “You know what else tastes good?”

He raises an eyebrow, already expecting it.

She laughs. “Never mind.”

They keep eating. Comfortable. Happy. Together.

And that’s enough.

You contemplate going out to the living room and sitting down. Your hips ache, your legs throb. The buzzing in your ears feels all encompassing. Fatigue is weighing you down like sandbags attached to your limbs. Even your eyelids are heavy. You would love nothing more than to sleep for…… well, forever. Days. Months. Maybe never wake up again.

You’re so tired.

You stiffen when you hear the front door open, blinking to banish the sleep from your eyes. You turn around just in time to see Joshua stick his head through the laundry room door. He realises what you are doing immediately, because you always do this, and he steps in with a disapproving tut.

“What did I say last time?” He huffs, walking in and eyeing the bundle of sheets and clothes in the basket, waiting to enter the next cycle in the machine, after the first load is done. You don’t reply to him, mostly because you’ve had this conversation with him so many times and it’s the one thing you can’t budge on. There’s no way you’re letting your roommate wash all your sheets and towels after a heat. Those things are filthy, remnants of slick and sweat on them. You know for a fact that it smells too strong, too dense, for anyone but you to stand. That’s why you wear scent suppressors everywhere you go.

Just another reason to hate being a prime omega.

You remember when you presented. You had barely turned fourteen years old. Your parents, siblings, extended family, everyone was shocked. People hardly presented before sixteen. Yours was way too early. Your parents were so concerned that they took you to a specialist immediately. And that’s when you got the news.

“She’s special.” The doctor looked almost elated. “A prime omega. Very rare. I know of only a few thousand around the world. Congratulations.”

And maybe it was because he congratulated your parents that they received it as good news. It took only some research to find out that prime omegas were above all else in terms of secondary gender hierarchy since the dawn of time, second only to apex alphas. The perfect specimens, the true representation of what the essence of an omega should be. Endlessly nurturing, empathetic, kind, and of course, the biological advantage of being very desirable. Prime omegas had repopulated great stretches of land throughout history, kept packs intact and running even during the worst of times. But around three or four centuries ago, they started dying off. There was no explanation why, but no one was presenting as a prime omega anymore, and before you knew it, they became rare, prized individuals instead of the driving force in their communities.

It all sounded incredible on paper, having a prime omega in the family. Your parents boasted about it, treated you like glass for those first couple of weeks. You were too young to really understand how to feel about it, to grapple with the implications of your rare secondary gender. You went with your parents’ joy, deciding that maybe it was a good thing.

But it all became clear to you very quickly, when you received a few pointed gifts from neighbors and acquaintances who you knew had alpha sons. It was a tragedy, truly, to realise at such a young age that your value was being reduced to what your secondary gender was, to what you could give to alphas. You watched it happen in real time. People became sweeter, in that artificial way that cherry cough syrup feels on your tongue. Your alpha teachers at school looked at you weird, like you were a lab specimen to ogle at. Very creepily, you had noticed a few of them even trying to subtly sniff you. It was a horrific experience.

You developed an aversion to alphas because of that. The thought of them wanting you only for your biology was revolting to you. You longed to be just another omega for them, but it seemed that as soon as someone knew you smelled different, all gloves were off. You became a commodity instead of a person.

In your everyday life, it became extremely difficult to deal with the problems of your secondary gender. While everyone around you went into heat or rut on a quarterly basis, once every three months, yours was unpredictable and far more frequent. Your first heat, at only age sixteen, left you near debilitated. It was agonising, no matter how many painkillers your mother forced down your throat, no matter how many times she wiped your teary, sweaty face. The fantasy built in your head, in your parents’ heads, of your presentation being a good thing for the family, were quickly dashed.

You were a burden, in every sense of the word.

In the months leading up to your high school graduation, you knew your parents and siblings grew to be resentful of you. They never said it, but it was evident. Your mother would constantly huff and puff about doing your laundry, to the point that you just started handling it yourself while she did your siblings’. Your scent, by its very nature, was very strongly omega. Of course, you had no way of telling, because you couldn’t smell yourself, but your mother made no secret of it, using any opportunity to tell you that you stank. Your father had gone far and wide to make connections and get you industrial grade scent blocking patches, the ones you use to this day, that make your scent go from incredibly potent to acceptable levels for an omega.

You hide behind those scent patches to this day.

Joshua’s hands on your arms break you from your thoughts. He nudges you gently, guiding you out of the door of the laundry room and to your bedroom. He is silent as he lays you down on the bed, the one you had put fresh sheets on just a little while ago. You don’t protest. Your mind is still muted, and you feel lost in an endless tide of emotions and memories. Post-heat is tough for you, your body still wound up, your omega screaming at you that nothing is enough, that you need more.

You don’t know how much more you can give to your omega. You don’t have anything left in you.

You lay there a long time, listening to the humming and beeping of the washer as Joshua quickly goes through your laundry. You want to beg him to let it go, that you will do your own laundry when you feel a little less like death. Your mother’s taunts of your unbearable scent are fresh in your head even today. Somehow, immediately after a heat, you remember every single thing in painful detail. But Joshua won’t hear it, you know this. He is hell bent on taking care of you.

“I told you, it’s not that bad to me.” He would always say. “Maybe I’m a beta. That’s why.”

You know for a fact that’s not true. You’ve had beta friends before. They all complained that your scent is too strong. Too omega. But not Joshua. Never Joshua. He never once complained. He has lived with you for a good year now. He has never once made you feel any different from a regular old omega.

Joshua was your first friend in university. You had moved cities after high school, armed with your scent blockers and desperate for a fresh start. He was in your first ever orientation class, and he never really left your side after that. Joshua was endlessly warm, so friendly and bright that you couldn’t help gravitating to him. Despite your nightmarish experience in high school, you were determined to make it different now, to get away from the things that haunt you. So you never told him your actual status. He could, of course, smell the omega on you, but your scent patches, carefully hidden under turtlenecks, scarves and your own hair, made you a regular omega, not a freaky prime specimen. You were normal, and you were determined to blend in.

Joshua already knew people on campus, a mix of juniors, sophomores, seniors. He was very popular, and had a large circle of friends. He introduced you to all of them immediately. You were wary of them, especially the alphas, but they didn’t seem to notice your predicament either. God bless your scent blockers. Before you knew it, you were part of their little friend group, swept up by college life and feeling, for the first time, that things might turn out okay.

So what if you had to lie about your unexpected absences? You had an excuse. Your mother was chronically ill and you had to visit her often, taking days off at a time, enough to let you deal with your painful heats and come back. Your father had put his name down on a lease for an apartment, paying half the rent while you worked to pay the rest. You had space, you had privacy to deal with your issues. You even explained away the scent blocking patches that Seungkwan noticed on your neck. They all seemed to buy it, and for a few glorious months, everything was wonderful.

They were all very close knit, some even in relationships with each other, which put you somewhat at ease about the alphas, like Seungkwan, who was mated to Hansol, his alpha. Then there was Jun, who was actively courting Minghao when you met them. They operated almost like a pack, though they weren’t explicitly in one. Seungcheol, an alpha, was good at wrangling with the more rowdy alphas in your group, like Soonyoung and Seokmin. Similar to a pack leader. It was a wonderful dynamic, and they all accepted you with open arms as a regular omega. You had friends, a makeshift pack, people who cared, people who didn’t immediately write you off as an outcast. Things were looking up.

Then, Soonyoung found out.

It was a regular afternoon. Mundane. You were working your evening shift at the store where you had a job as a cashier. You were even feeling a little sleepy. Then, you spotted the alpha in line, holding a few helpings of instant ramen. You smiled when he stepped up to the counter.

“Hi, Soonie.” You checked his items. “How’d your rut go? Feeling okay?”

He looked well, albeit a bit tired. Heats and ruts tend to do that. Of course, yours is entirely different, leaving you near paralysed by the end, taking days before you can even stand up. But it’s not as bad for normal people.

He just nodded in return with a quick uptick of his lips, but his eyes were intense as they trained on you. He watched you silently as you rang him up, very uncharacteristic for someone like him. You quirked an eyebrow up at him.

“Everything okay?” You hesitated, feeling like something was off with him. He just leaned in, watching you closely. You stared back, confused, and then he spoke the words that made your blood run ice cold.

“You’re different, aren’t you? You’re not a regular omega.”

You had stiffened immediately, watching him. There was no one in line behind him, it was a slow day. So he just stood there, sharp eyes darting between your own as if he was trying to piece you together. You didn’t like it. His eyes were too knowing, too scrutinising.

You didn’t say anything. You felt trapped.

He sighed and stepped away, grabbing the bag where you put his groceries in. He gave you a small smile, saying a few last words before leaving you where you stood.

“Call me when you’re free, okay?”

And that’s how you told him.

Turns out, he found your scarf mixed up in his things a little while before he went into rut. His alpha told him something was off about your scent, and his heightened scenes during rut only confirmed it. He didn’t know you were a prime omega, that word wasn’t really part of his vocabulary, but he knew it was something. So you just came clean.

There was relief in being truthful, but there was also anxiety. You told Soonyoung it was okay to tell everyone, because you would rather they all know or no one knows at all. So you waited, and you accepted that soon enough, they would all distance themselves from you.

Joshua showed up at your door with Seungcheol that very evening.

It took a lot of talking, a lot of tears, confessions and apologies. Joshua was hurt that you would hide something like that from them, but Seungcheol was quick to say he understood.

“Too many alphas in the pack.” He joked. “It was a good idea to not tell them immediately. They know you now, as a person and not as a prime omega. So things won’t be different.”

You nodded, feeling a little more relieved that he wasn’t being harsh with you. That he didn’t hate you for who you are.

“But I am concerned.” He continued. “I can’t imagine it’s easy for you, managing all this alone.”

You just smiled. “It’s fine. I’ve been doing it for years. I have a little bit of a routine.”

He hummed, deep in thought, unconvinced that it was all actually fine. It’s not, truthfully. You hate your heats. They leave you aching for so long, a shell of who you are, your omega, a demanding beast that keeps roaring, never satisfied. Always greedy.

You don’t know how long you can go before you completely collapse.

Over the next few weeks after that, you did notice the group acting differently, but not in the way you imagined. Instead of ostracising you, they became more considerate. Seungkwan would rub his wrist over yours when you felt anxious, and omega pheromones did help you relax. Wonwoo and Mingyu kept an eye out for any alpha who looked at you too long. Jihoon, ever the health freak, would plan meals for you that he and Joshua would then cook and freeze. Simple, ready to eat stuff that would help keep you nourished during your heats. There were always a few packets in your freezer, for any unexpected heat you might get. Seungcheol was particular about you not being alone during a time that was so dangerous for your body, and that’s when Joshua volunteered to move in.

You weren’t used to kindness or consideration, and you were given so much of it in such a short time.

Hence came to be your current routine. When your heat hits, Joshua leaves for a few days after making sure you have a good nest and plenty of meals on hand. As always, you take lots of painkillers and a tried-and-true dosage of sleeping pills that did nothing to make you sleep, but left you drowsy enough to not be able to move. In your condition, you can’t trust yourself to have the ability to leave the house. Your mother isn’t around to hold you back from seeking an alpha anymore, so medicines help instead. You struggle through a few days, usually a week, shaking and crying in numbed pain, before you’re left worn out as it wanes. For many, many cycles, Joshua has insisted he will take care of the mess afterwards, but you just can’t bring yourself to let him handle your problems. Including laundry.

Rejoining everyone after a heat is the best time, in your opinion. They all get incredibly doting, like they do with every omega in the group after a heat, taking care to feed you and nurse you back to health. In your post-heat haze, filled with self loathing, you tell yourself you don’t deserve their kindness, but then Chan runs a soothing hand over your back, his neutral beta scent like a comforting blanket, and you tell yourself it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes.

And then there’s Jeonghan.

Jeonghan is Seungcheol’s best friend. An alpha, a quiet one, but a strong presence nonetheless. You first met him when you were introduced to the rest of the group, a flurry of introductions, but he immediately stuck out. To you, he feels like a focal point for the group. Everyone naturally gravitates towards him, seeking out his word and his opinion on everything. And you do the same as well. Jeonghan has this pull to him that is almost irresistible. He is endlessly attentive too. You feel his eyes on you many times, watching, learning, so when he speaks, it feels like he speaks to your soul.

He always buys you strawberry milk because he knows it’s your favorite. He lines up Hell’s Kitchen or Extreme Cheapskates on the television because he knows watching trash TV calms you down after a bad day. He noticed that you liked his grey wool scarf so much that he just wore it everywhere, eventually giving it to you halfway through a hangout because you always complain about being cold. Somehow, a few of your scent patches end up in his wallet, ready in case of emergency.

It’s only natural, even if you curse yourself for it, that your heart skips whenever Jeonghan looks at you a bit too long. Your omega keens when you feel his hand on the small of your back, or when he leans close enough that his soft, silky hair brushes over your cheek. His scent is strong, leather and vanilla, even when he wears those cute patches with little bunnies drawn on them. He doesn’t wear them on his neck, strangely. Only his wrists. He says it’s more for showing purposes, because he likes how they look. Your own are just a boring brown color. He puts stickers on the ones he keeps in his wallet, an action so endearing you have to hide your grin when you first see them.

“If you’re going to wear them all the time, you might as well make them pretty.” He quips.

You try to scold yourself. In no way would it be okay to fall for Jeonghan. You’re a mess. You can barely manage to get by most days. Dragging an alpha into your problems would be cruel, especially not Jeonghan, who has endless potential and hordes of omegas who would give their left arm and leg to even get half his attention. Being with you would ruin him. Your routine is unpredictable on good days, and absolute hell on the worst. You cannot even imagine what your uninhibited, unblocked scent would feel like to him. Dense and sickly, you know. Too much. Because you’ve always been too much.

So you stay silent. And you bask in whatever scraps you have of him, happy to float in his orbit. Content to just know someone like him. To get even a whiff of his scent, just enough to relax your nerves when everything becomes a little too difficult.

It takes you over two days to get back on your feet after your most recent brush with biology. You sleep through most of it, so exhausted that you can’t even open your eyes. Somewhere in between, you have a vague memory of Joshua trying to wake you up and coax food into you, but you just burst into tears, telling him to leave you alone. When you finally come to, you don’t remember any of it. All you are left with is your very concerned beta friend who is unusually quiet, boiling some tea for you as you sit on the kitchen island, watching him.

“This isn’t normal.” He mumbles. You huff out a laugh.

“Nothing about me is normal, Shua.” You try to keep your tone light and humorous. But you just sound resigned. He shakes his head, eyes trained on the kettle, his back to you.

“No. I mean for you. This isn’t even normal for you.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean?”

He turns around, and you realise this is more than a little bit of concern. Joshua looks almost at the edge of panic. It catches you off guard.

“Your heats are more frequent now than they were a few months ago.” He mumbles, something in his tone a little urgent. “They were around once a month, but this last one came just two weeks after the one before.”

You blink. “I didn’t notice.”

He sighs. “That’s the other thing. You’ve been…. really out of it. More than usual. And you sleep for way longer afterwards. You’re completely exhausted, Y/N. This isn’t okay.”

You fidget, fiddling with your hands. Joshua is confirming what the little accusatory voice in your head has been saying for a while now. That things are getting progressively worse. That you are starving your omega. There has been a feeling of impending doom looming over you, a threat that keeps becoming more and more real.

“Have you-” Joshua pauses, hesitates. “Have you thought of taking an Alpha? Someone who can help with your heat?”

You go rigid, immediately shaking your head. “No.”

Joshua tries to barrel on. “I’m just saying-”

“No, Shua. I can’t. My heats are….. bad. I can’t trust an alpha with them.”

“But I could talk to Seungcheol. I’m sure there’s someone who-”

You stand up abruptly, gripping the marble counter when it immediately sends a wave of dizziness through your head. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

You leave the kitchen. He doesn’t mention it again.

That evening, both of you head to Seungkwan and Hansol’s place off campus for your weekly hangout and dinner. Their house has a pretty big terrace that Mingyu uses to make barbecue for everyone, so it’s the designated place for all of you to gather. Joshua is still a bit on edge, and he’s not really speaking to you, so you stay quiet as well. You don’t have the energy to entertain whatever radical idea he is suggesting. The thought of being with an alpha during your heat makes you nauseous. Especially because of how you’ve been treated by alphas all throughout high school. Like you’re some piece of meat. You can’t imagine being in your heat, so vulnerable and open, only to be used for someone else’s desires.

You can’t do that to yourself.

Most of the friend group is already there, lounging around, watching a game on the TV or helping set up the dining table. Mingyu is on the terrace with Seungcheol, sorting through the humongous portions of meat for the occasion. They’re all big eaters, so you go through a lot of food every time you have dinner together. Joshua beelines to the sliding glass door leading outside, and you trudge to the living room instead, the walk here already tiring you out. Everyone looks up and greets you loudly as you enter, making you smile.

Jeonghan is lounging lazily on the couch, eyes trained on the screen. He’s dressed in his typical oversized shirt and pants, long hair loose and curling around his neck. When he sees you, his lips stretch in a warm smile and he pats the cushion next to him. You flop down with a long sigh, happy to be off your feet. Soonyoung and Seungkwan are already bickering about something from the other couch. You watch them with amusement for a bit until you feel something brush over your shoulder.

“Okay?” Jeonghan’s voice is soft. He knows your heat just ended. Your heart twists at his consideration. You nod.

It’s a lie. You’re not okay.

He keeps rubbing your shoulder, soft and slow patterns that make you drift off in your mind. You think about what Joshua said, and for the briefest moment of lowered inhibition, you think of what it would be like if that alpha was Jeonghan. He’s the first alpha you’ve ever felt drawn to. While most alphas made you feel jumpy and uneasy, Jeonghan felt….. safe. Like if worse came to worst, he could protect you. You know he’s a strong alpha, he has a presence to him that’s equally ominous and overpowering. And yet, he’s endlessly considerate and kind. Maybe, of all the alphas in the world, Jeonghan would get it.

Maybe. You can let yourself dream.

Unbeknownst to you, Joshua steps onto the terrace in an absolutely foul mood. Seungcheol’s nose twitches and he looks up from where he’s prepping the grill. Something is definitely not okay. He exchanges a furtive look with Mingyu before turning back to the beta.

“What’s up with you?” He asks.

Joshua huffs and fiddles with one of the packets they have laid out, looking like he’s lost deep in thought. Seungcheol gives it a minute, letting his friend come to him instead of forcing it out. Mingyu stays silent.

“She didn’t agree to your suggestion.”

Comprehension dawns on Seungcheol. He huffs out a little laugh.

“Well, I didn’t have high hopes anyway.”

Joshua shakes his head. Mingyu gestures for the packet he is fiddling with, and Joshua hands it over. “It could’ve been so good for her. I don't understand why she won’t even consider it.”

Seungcheol hums, carefully laying down the first steak. It sizzles as it hits the grill. “You can’t expect her to make a decision like that when she doesn’t even have all the facts.”

Joshua gives him a dry look. “I said from the start that we should tell her.”

The alpha nods. “I know. But Jeonghan refused. He says if she wants to come to him, it has to be because he’s him, not because he’s an apex.”

Joshua rolls his eyes and starts prepping the vegetables, anything to distract himself from his frustration. “So they’re both just going to dance around each other forever.”

Seungcheol shrugs, feeling sweat build up in his hairline. “We can’t understand them, Shua. A prime omega and an apex alpha. They’re different, so they go about things differently. She’s scared he won’t want her because of what she is. He’s scared she will want him only because of what he is.”

Joshua is silent for a brief moment. When he speaks again, he sounds defeated. “And they’ll both suffer until they figure it out. If they figure it out.”

Seungcheol looks at the beta sadly, nodding. “It’s not our place. All we can do is give them a little nudge.”

Joshua turns to look inside the apartment, eyeing the pair sitting on the couch. You’re giggling at something Jeonghan has said, the first genuine happiness he has seen out of you in over a week. His heart hurts for you, because he knows you’re slowly dying on the inside. He just hopes that the alpha you’re looking at so reverently will see that you need him, and that he needs you too.

…………………………………..

Jeonghan knew even before he presented that he was different.

He doesn’t know what clued him into the fact. No one else noticed anything. But there was something in him, that he later learned was intuition, that told him he stood apart from the rest of them. He didn’t like that fact a lot, standing out means drawing attention to yourself. And Jeonghan liked remaining in the shadows a lot more, doing his own thing however he pleased without too many people in his ear.

It didn’t exactly come as a shock when he presented as an apex alpha. Yes, they were rare, but it was that damn voice in him that told him this reality a long time ago. He was different, and he hated it from the get go.

Jeonghan didn’t feel like some ideal specimen, even if he was meant to be one. Everyone ogled him wherever he went, especially the omegas. He still remembers when a girl in his Advanced Physics class went into heat the day he sat next to her. A horrifying experience, and the thing that made him start wearing scent blocking patches. All the boys in his class thought it was so cool, as if he was some badass for his mere presence being enough to trigger a heat. But he just felt uncomfortable, and he vowed to push as far away from this stereotype of alpha as he possibly could.

So he grew his hair long, he wore baggy clothes that hid his lean, cut figure. He wore patches on his wrists near constantly, the place he realised he smelled the strongest. He became docile and quiet, preferring to stay in the background rather than make himself known. Of course, anyone who knew him for long enough could tell there was something about him, a pull, a presence, but he changed himself enough that people wouldn’t jump to ‘apex alpha’.

Seungcheol knew. Immediately.

Seungcheol is not an apex alpha himself, but he is a strong and intuitive one nevertheless. He figured it out without Jeonghan saying a single word, but he never treated Jeonghan any differently. Neither did the rest of the friend group. To them, he was just Jeonghan, who was a great listener and gave great advice, all of which was because of his brain and not because of biology. Jeonghan felt like he belonged, and the distrust in him settled the longer he spent in company with his friends.

When he met you for the first time, it’s like alarm bells started going off in his head.

He smelled you immediately. He’s sure the others did as well, but to them, it was just the scent of omega. Not him, though. He knew instantly that something was different about you. It wasn’t strong, probably because of the ugly brown patches you had slapped all over your neck that you thought you were hiding with that turtleneck you put on (You weren’t. He knew they were there the second he laid eyes on you). But your scent was sweet, in a way omegas rarely are to him. He remembers being shocked by how quickly he began salivating, that he had to swallow against the tight knot in his throat when you stepped closer to him. When you shook his hand with a smile, Jeonghan had to hold himself back from running his patched up wrist over yours.

It’s funny. Jeonghan has never fought instinct before. But every time he saw you, he had to hold himself back in some capacity.

It took him just ten minutes of dedicated internet sleuthing to figure out what you were. A prime omega. His antithesis, the person on the other side of the mirror he has been holding up his whole life. But it was more than that, and one look at the smile that didn’t really reach your eyes told him all he needed to know.

You’re broken, way beyond anything you can hope to fix. He sees the pattern, the endless, agonising heats, the days of fog descending over your head afterwards. Jeonghan got lucky, his ruts were the same as everyone else, quarterly, though they were very intense, much more than any alpha he has known. But your struggle is on a whole other plane. Jeonghan’s alpha, this strong apex inside him, howls. He fights the urge to go over to you, to rip those annoying, miserable patches off your neck and lick over you. Give you his scent. Your omega yearns for him, and Jeonghan suspects even you don’t know this.

So he pushes. He talks to Seungcheol, to Joshua, who then brings up the idea of an alpha to you.

The second you step into Seungkwan and Hansol’s place for barbecue night, he sees the sour look on Joshua’s face. It didn’t go well, he assumes. Joshua walks to the terrace without even saying hi, but you dawdle your way to where he sits. Jeonghan’s heart squeezes as his eyes catch the dark circles under yours. Your patches are in place, as always, but not aligned properly and some wrinkled. When you sit next to him, he sniffs. Yes, you smell stronger today. His alpha growls again, and he bites his tongue to hold himself back. You’re already spacing out, so he reaches his arm around your shoulder as gently as he can to not startle you.

“Okay?” He asks. He sees you blink a few times to regain focus, nodding at him. He wants to scoff.

You’re a good liar. But you don’t know that he is an even better one.

He runs his hand over your shoulder because he can’t help himself. It’s just a little bit of indulgence, he can allow himself this much. He watches your eyelids flutter, your face nearly melting. You’re spacing out again, cute. He leans closer.

“You can sleep a bit until dinner is ready, angel.” He hums. You shake your head at his suggestion.

“I want to spend time with you guys. It’s been a while.” You confess. Jeonghan wants to coo at you, but he holds himself back, settling on just giving your shoulder a little squeeze and resting his arm fully over them. You sink into him, and Jeonghan has to will himself to be calm. It’s scraps, he knows this. His alpha wants more, he can take more. But he won’t do that to you. It has to come from you. You have to come to him.

So he waits. He talks to you, makes little jokes that clear your head as time goes by, and when dinner comes, he keeps an eye on your plate, makes sure you eat well, and offers to drive you and Joshua back at the end of the night. You thank him with that dazzling smile of yours, and it takes everything in Jeonghan to not kiss you senseless. Instead he watches you walk up to your building, waving at him one last time before you and Joshua are gone.

He will wait. You're meant to be with him. You just don’t trust your biology yet.

……………………………

Winter melts into spring in March, warming the air a little and bringing a pleasant feeling with it. Classes are in full swing, and you lose yourself in an unending cycle of studying, heats, recovering from heats, catching up on studying, rinse and repeat. It seems that ever since Joshua verbalised their changing nature, the heats have worsened. It has progressed from the pain, the cramps and the crying, to this deep seated rift inside you. You feel so empty through all of it, so alone, that it leaves you more emotionally shaken than physically. Somehow, you hate this shift even more than the actual pain. Because bodily pain is tangible. You can use warm compresses, or hot teas, or medicines to fix that.

You don’t know what to do about this yearning inside you.

You don’t notice you’re slipping, but your friends do. Soonyoung makes it a point to text you things like ‘see you in class in an hour!’ because he knows how spacey and forgetful you've been. When you go through your bag, you often find little treats in there; a chocolate bar, a roll of biscuits, chewable sweets, a packet of those watermelon jellies you really like. You don’t know who puts them there, but you suspect Jun or Wonwoo. The fridge is constantly stocked with electrolytes even when you forget to pick them up, and someone is always at home even if Joshua isn’t. Seungkwan watches movies with you, or Jihoon coaxes you into studying sessions. Chan makes sure his notes are extra clean and legible so you can catch up on work you miss out on. Once or twice, Mingyu wanted to go on a run with you, which you immediately shot down. You can barely move on most days. You’re sure you are in no condition to run.

But it’s Jeonghan’s behavior that surprises you the most.

For most mornings of the week, he shows up at your apartment, saying he just felt like walking together to campus since he’s heading that way for his own classes anyway. What you don’t notice is the stare he levels every single alpha with when their noses twitch in your vicinity, his inherent status as an apex making them flinch and back down. He doesn’t like flaunting what he is like this, but this is about you and your safety, so he will. He’s there when you get out of classes too, accompanying you to the library or back to your place. Sometimes, if it’s not him, someone else is, like Seungcheol or Seokmin, but most of the time, it’s him.

Classes rage on. You get more tired as the days blur.

You miss your alarm one day, scrambling to get ready when Joshua shakes you awake. Jeonghan waits in the living room as you pull yourself together, and you finally join him, pushing your books into your bag.

“I’m ready, I’m ready!” You gasp, smoothing your hair down as much as you can. It’s all you can do in less than five minutes since you woke up. Jeonghan stills, eyeing you closely, and you see the corner on his lip tick up in an amused smirk.

“Hold on.” He steps closer. You blink up at him, confused. He reaches his hand towards your neck slowly, giving you room to move away, finally tugging at the corner of your scent patch and peeling it off.

Your heart skips. Your blood chills.

Mere milliseconds later, he smooths it on again, face focused as he gently presses it down on the junction of your neck and shoulder to make it stick, in a slightly different position than it was before.

“Your scent glands weren’t covered properly, angel.” He mumbles, stepping away and giving you that sweet smile of his. A strand of hair falls over his face, catching in his eyelashes when he blinks. You stare at him, dumbfounded. He took your scent blocker off. He smelled you. No one has smelled your true, unfiltered scent in years. And Jeonghan didn’t even flinch. His nose didn’t scrunch up like your mother’s would. He didn’t plug it exaggeratedly like your brothers did all the time. He didn’t react at all, just fixed it and carried on.

Did you not repulse him? How is he so calm?

You are broken from your racing thoughts when he quickly grips your wrist and tugs you to the door, claiming you have to hurry because he wants to stop for coffee on the way. You’re uncharacteristically quiet as you make your way to campus. But Jeonghan’s smile is there, quiet and knowing. He doesn’t push, doesn’t talk about it. But he’s there with all his silent reassurance. The yearning, dying omega inside you whines. When was the last time you felt the touch of an alpha like that? The answer is never.

You can barely focus on the lecture for that day, your heart beating faster than usual throughout, staring blankly at the board and not absorbing a single word. As soon as the professor dismisses you, you’re hurrying out of the hall, your strange anxiety easing when you see Jeonghan outside already, waiting for you like he always does. His tall figure stands out among everyone else. He gives you a little smile.

The knot in your chest loosens at the sight of him.

You decide to go to the library until your next class, which is about two hours later. You could go back home, but Jeonghan suggests you use this time to catch up on missing lectures, which is a good idea. You settle into a desk tucked in the very corner of the room, Jeonghan next to you, poring over his own laptop. You watch his hands move over the keys, eyes dropping to his wrists. Today, he’s chosen to wear light blue patches with little white clouds on them, two on each wrist. They match the blue of his shirt, which you think is very cute. They’re not the industrial grade stuff you use, they’re just store brand, generic ones.

“Hannie?”

“Hm?”

“Why do you use patches?”

His smiles, but his eyes remain glued to the screen. “I told you. I like the way they look.”

You snort, not believing him. He chuckles at the sound.

“My scent is pretty strong.” He says. “It’s easier to put these on than deal with people’s stares every day.”

You’re surprised. You always knew Jeonghan had a strong presence, but you didn’t know he struggled with something like that. You watch the side of his face.

“Mine is strong too.” You confess. Jeonghan hums, fingers clacking on the keyboard.

“I know, doll.” His voice is like velvet. You shift a little. Contemplate. Then, you take a deep breath, making up your mind.

“You took my patch off earlier.” You can hear your own voice shake. “You didn’t….. why didn’t you react?”

This makes him finally pause, turning to look at you. “What do you mean?”

You hesitate again, but Jeonghan’s attention is now fully yours. You soldier on.

“Everyone always told me my scent is pretty unbearable.” You stare over his shoulder, unable to meet his eye. “Everyone would…. kind of flinch away.”

There’s a small pause. Jeonghan speaks again. “I’m not everyone.”

You finally focus on his eyes, endlessly gentle, earthy brown. “You’re not?”

He shakes his head. “I’m different. Like you.”

You stare at him. All is silent in the library. Nothing shifts. It’s like the air around you is holding its breath.

“I don’t understand.” You whisper.

Jeonghan leans in just so. He enters your space, closer to your ear. His cheek brushes yours. Something hot zips down your spine. Your heart kicks painfully at your ribs. You don’t dare move a muscle.

“All those people lied to you.” He breathes. You feel it on the shell of your ear. “You smell wonderful to me, angel. Sweet. A little like honey.”

He moves away before you can process. You watch him turn back to the laptop. The clicking of the keyboard breaks the silence in your space. Your brain is whirring a mile a minute. You turn to the notes Chan lent you. Not reading a single word. Just staring.

Jeonghan doesn’t act any differently for the rest of the day. You finish up studying, taking your last class of the day before he offers to treat you to lunch. Like any other mundane routine. As if he hasn’t shattered your entire world. You eat together with idle gossip. Nothing changes outwardly, but your mind rages with storms. You don’t know what to do with Jeonghan’s confession. Your first instinct is to deny it, but Jeonghan has never lied to you. You trust him with every part of you. He wouldn’t lie about this, even as a joke. Everything from his tone to the look in his eyes was sincere.

For the first time since that night Joshua suggested finding an alpha for you, you dream about that alpha being Jeonghan. It seems real now, tangible. You don’t find the idea of letting Jeonghan in frightening, because truthfully, Jeonghan has been taking care of you for a while now. You wonder what it would feel like to just melt into him, to finally stop struggling with the omega in you, to trust him with every part of yourself without worrying that he will back away like everyone else did.

Your next heat hits in two weeks, and it’s your worst one yet.

Unfortunately, your omega knows what it wants now. It wants Jeonghan, and it whines for him. You sob through the first day, none of your normal medicines doing anything to numb you. You’re sweaty, every muscle in your body rigid and screaming, your mind muddled. You don’t even remember what time of day it is when you reach for your phone, clicking on his contact with shaking fingers and listening to the dialtone ring.

“Y/N?”

His voice makes a sharp tendril of pain shoot through your stomach.

“Alpha!” You wail. “Need- need you. Please.”

You’re sobbing too badly to hear shuffling in the background. Jeonghan sits up and turns on his bedside lamp. He stares at the clock on his phone screen before putting it back to his ear. 02.13am.

“Angel, are you alone?” He knows you are, but he needs to make sure. You only sob on the other end, and Jeonghan grits his teeth. This is bad. He knows for a fact that you’re usually docile through your heat because of the drugs you take. He pulls up Joshua’s contact, putting you on hold so he can call the beta. You’re so out of it that you don’t even notice. Joshua picks up after a few rings, sounding groggy with sleep.

“Shua, get your ass back home.” Jeonghan grits out. Something in his tone must register, he’s almost growling, something he hates doing, but hearing you sound so distressed has left him shaken. Joshua immediately hangs up, and Jeonghan gets back on call with you.

“You’re still with me?” He asks, trying to keep his tone as soothing as possible despite the fact that he’s worried sick. He hears you sniffle.

“A-are you coming?” His heart breaks at the hope in your voice. His hand fists his sheets.

“I can’t, baby. Not like this.”

When you weep, it almost feels like Jeonghan’s soul is shattering. His alpha howls, claws at him, and for the first time in his life, Jeonghan wants to give in to the apex inside him.

“Omega, listen to me.” He knows the tone he is using. He hates to play on your instincts like this, but he needs you to survive this without him somehow. You quiet down instantly at the deep timbre in his voice, so he keeps going.

“Joshua is on his way. He will take care of you, get you more meds and food. You’ll get through this, and then we can talk about it, okay?”

You sniffle. When you talk, your voice is thready and frail. “But alpha….”

“Baby,” Jeonghan coos again. When you whine, he feels the base of his stomach stir. “You’ll be a good girl for me?”

That does something. “Yes. Yes, alpha.”

Jeonghan sighs with some form of relief finally. He stays on the phone with you, gives you endless reassurances until he hears Joshua in the background. When you’re distracted by the beta, he hangs up. He stares at the wall for a long time, running everything that just happened in his head.

Jeonghan is rarely shaken by everything, but this shakes him. He knows for a fact that he can’t stay away from you after this. You’re his, and he’s tired of slowplaying it.

It takes a week for your heat to wane. It’s agonising, but Joshua helps as much as he can, getting you through it without calling Jeonghan again. He feeds you, even runs you a bath. Towards the end of it, you break down, feeling guilty for subjecting him to this. He immediately reprimands you, telling you he doesn’t mind and he wants to help you in any way that he can. But you’re embarrassed. You had worked so hard to make sure he didn’t see you like this, yet he did. Pair that with the fact that you called Jeonghan and poured your heart out to him, you feel like this heat has changed everything permanently.

You don’t even know if you can look Jeonghan in the eye again.

He texts you on Sunday night, saying he will be at your place first thing in the morning so you can head to campus together as usual. You don’t reply. Frankly, you don’t want to speak to him. You’re mortified at the fact that you called him while in heat, essentially begging him to fuck you. It’s deeply shameful, and you hate yourself for it. You stare at Jeonghan’s text, contemplating. When Joshua plops down on the couch next to you with dinner, you turn to him.

“Can you text Jeonghan that I’m not feeling well, so I can’t go to class tomorrow?”

Joshua gives you a tired look. “You can’t avoid him forever, you know?”

Of course you know. But you’re not ready yet. Just the thought of it brings you to the brink of humiliating tears. You plead with Joshua. He sighs and nods, doing as you say.

Jeonghan, of course, doesn’t listen.

You wake up the next day with a start. You didn’t set an alarm, since you had no intention of going to class. The sun is shining through the windows, indicating that you’re well into the morning. The smell of eggs is wafting into your room, and confusion riddles your body. Joshua had classes this morning, so he shouldn’t be home right now.

You’re shocked when you walk out of the room and are met with the sight of Jeonghan’s back, clad in a huge black hoodie that he’s swimming in, and grey sweats. Half his hair is pulled up in a ponytail, the other half down, brushing his neck. He doesn’t turn around, back shifting as he scrambles the eggs in a pan. Sizzling sounds fill the kitchen.

“Morning.” His voice sounds cheerful and light. He pulls the pan off the heat, dumping the eggs on a plate. He turns around to place it on the kitchen island. “Sit.”

You hesitate. “What are you-”

“Sit, omega.”

Your voice dies in your throat. You pull a stool out. He sets a fork down and you promptly start eating while he makes another batch for himself. Everything is silent.

Finally, Jeonghan joins you on the counter and sits across from you, focused on shoveling his breakfast into his mouth. You don’t say a word either, feeling exhaustion tug at your limbs. You’re tired of this, whatever this is.

“I presented when I was sixteen, just like everyone else.” Jeonghan speaks up, still focused on his plate. Your movements slow as you listen to him.

“But I still knew something about me was different. I knew it not just because everyone told me, but because something inside me was convinced I wasn’t like everyone else. And I hated it.”

“Everything I did in life, I deliberately went against my nature. I talked differently, carried myself differently, I wanted to be just like every other alpha.”

His eyes tick up suddenly, and you’re taken aback by the genuine firmness in his features. “Then I met you, and I saw how every other alpha behaved around you, how they looked at your patches weird, and I realised I never wanted to be like any of them. Me being an apex alpha meant I could take care of you in a way none of these other fuckers can.”

Apex alpha.

So that’s what he meant, when he said he was different like you. That’s why your scent didn’t bother him even when he took your patch off, and why he said he actually liked your unfiltered essence. You have heard of apex alphas all your life, but only in passing, everyone claiming an apex would be a prime omega’s perfect match. You understand now, why you’ve always felt a pull around Jeonghan even though all other alphas scared you. You were convinced it was because of him being this incredible, kind and understanding person. And it was. But the revelation of his biology eases your guilt at wanting him so much. Suddenly, it makes sense that your omega yearns for him so badly.

“Where’d you go, beautiful?” His voice breaks you from your thoughts. He’s watching you with that soft smile on his face, and it hits you acutely that he always looks at you like this. Like you’re precious. Instead of that sour, disdainful look you’ve been leveled with your whole life. You don’t know what to say to him. But you feel like crying. And maybe he can tell.

“I want to love you the way you deserve to be loved, angel.” He says, stare steadfastly on you. “If you’ll let me. If you’ll have me.”

You can feel your face crumple. For the first time in years, you feel like an invisible burden is being lifted from your shoulders. Slowly, and with the weight of all the pain you’ve endured, you nod.

Jeonghan’s smile brings a sense of finality with it. His hand is soft but sure when it curls around yours.

…………………………………..

“You two are the actual definition of a power couple.”

“It’s like the perfect match. It’s so perfect that no one would believe it.”

“I don’t even think there are enough apex alphas or prime omegas in the world to actually pair them up.”

“Dude, you’re going to give birth to super babies or some shit.”

“Soonyoung!” You scold your friend for that last comment while Jeonghan just lets out a throaty laugh. You can feel the vibration on your back where his front is pressed against you. He squeezes you a little, placating you. But you still feel flustered, your face flaming at your friends’ quips about your very new relationship with Jeonghan. It wasn’t even a proper relationship. He’s courting you, the bracelet on your wrist he gave you this morning an indication of the fact that you are now his. You were surprised when he pulled it out after you finished breakfast.

“You were that sure I would say yes?” You had asked, incredulous. He had only smiled, and his confidence made your heartbeat speed up.

There is no point hiding it from your friend group, but you kind of regret telling them about it immediately. Soonyoung and Seungkwan have been particularly insufferable, and everyone else is egging them on. It’s embarrassing, but Jeonghan is thoroughly enjoying himself, even agreeing with some of their outlandish remarks. He keeps you pressed tightly against him, his cheek brushing the side of your head, and you bask in his warmth. Across from where you stand, Joshua has a relieved smile on his face.

You return it, feeling giddy.

Mingyu is quick to announce that dinner is ready, and everyone splits up around the house with their plates after filling them up to their liking. You stand over the kitchen counter and eye the many dishes he and Seokmin have prepared, wondering what you want to eat. Everyone is already seated in the living room. Your stomach is a little queasy, so you don’t have an appetite.

You feel a hand brush your side, making you jump a little. Jeonghan chuckles.

“Just me.” His voice hits your ear. You feel the back of your neck heat up.

“Sorry. I’m not used to it yet.”

He hums and gives you a reassuring squeeze. You feel his cheek on your shoulder.

“Why aren’t you eating?”

You shrug. “All the excitement of today, I guess. I feel a little restless.”

He rubs over your side, quiet for a brief moment. You eye the dishes and contemplate not eating at all.

“I could help with the restlessness.”

You turn your head to look at the alpha curiously. “How do you mean?”

Jeonghan’s eyes dart between yours for a few seconds. “Do you trust me?”

You nod immediately. “Of course.”

His hand reaches up and he runs his thumb over the brown patch on your neck. You still, not moving a muscle, but also not stopping him. Carefully, he tugs on the corner of it before slowly peeling it off. You grit your teeth, feeling exposed. Behind you, you can hear talking and laughter in the next room. No one seems to have noticed that you and Jeonghan aren’t there.

You feel his breath right over your scent gland as he brushes your hair off your neck. It makes you gasp, something sizzling under your skin. Jeonghan’s hand runs comfortingly over your waist. Then, he leans down and gives you a chaste kiss. Your knees feel weak. Your vision swims just a little.

His tongue is tentative as he licks over you, but just that slightest touch immediately alters the scent, both of yours mixing together in this delicious amalgam that tickles your nose pleasantly. Your head lolls back onto his shoulder, and it encourages him to flatten his tongue more firmly over your neck. You feel your muscles go pliant, and he uses his other hand to steady you as you lean your weight on him.

It feels like forever, though you’re sure it’s only a few minutes before Jeonghan pulls away. He doesn’t replace the scent patch, instead crumpling it and shoving it into his pocket. You blink through your haze. You would question him if your tongue wasn’t already rubber. He lays a soft kiss on your temple.

“You don’t need it. You smell like me now.”

It’s true. You do. Even you can tell. You let Jeonghan pile your plate with food and lead you back to the living room, pulling you into his lap so both of you can eat off the same plate. It’s intimate, and normally you would be more conscious around your friends, but his scent has left you strangely buzzing and docile, and you let him gently feed you, zoning in and out of conversation as you bask in your alpha’s presence. For the first time in seemingly forever, your omega is silent, revealing in this strange but welcome feeling.

Your friends hide their smiles under bites of food. Jeonghan squeezes you tightly. You let yourself drift off.

…………………………..

There’s not really room to take things slow in a relationship when you’re a prime omega. Especially not when your omega latches on to the fact that you have an alpha now, who is more than willing to take care of you come your next heat. For a while, your cycle has been fucked up and getting worse. So it seems like as soon as you’re used to Jeonghan’s intimate presence, your omega decides it needs more and pushes your body into a heat.

Jeonghan realises it is happening before you do, nose twitching as he registers the slight damp quality in your scent. Something in him shifts with unease, a strange feeling of anticipation. You’re none the wiser, eyes glued to the movie playing on the screen. It’s date night, and Jeonghan had brought the food while you set up the movie. Said food was now devoured, empty plates on the coffee table before you. There’s still a good chunk of the movie left, and you’re fully engrossed in it. Jeonghan was too, until he noticed how warm you are where your side is pressed against him. You’re usually on the warmer side, but this time it’s enough to make him notice. He eyes the side of your face discreetly, immediately seeing the very faint line of sweat building on your temples and the back of your neck. He watches you huff and pull your hair up, shaking it a bit because of the sweat. You're irritated.

He reaches an arm around you and brushes his thumb gently over your scent gland. You’re very used to this by now, and he feels you relax into him immediately. His scent calms you down, a fact that he’s very proud of, and loves teasingly exploiting from time to time.

It doesn’t last though. You fidget after a few minutes, eyebrows pulling together in a furrow. The muscles in your thighs are stiffening, and there’s a certain discomfort in your stomach. You wonder if it was the food, but quickly dismiss the thought when you feel that familiar twinge in your lower stomach, one that you can recognise instantly because of how often you are plagued by it.

Oh my god.

You sit up, feeling apprehension claw at you as you realise what is happening. The movie is all but forgotten, and you’re hyperaware of the fact that Jeonghan is right there. In fact, that’s making you feel even worse. Where it would normally take hours for your discomfort to swell and morph into a full heat, Jeonghan’s scent in the air seems to egg it on. You do some mental calculations quickly, dread filling you when you realise it has been a mere three weeks since your last one. And you remember how rough that was. Just the thought of going through another one like that makes you want to weep.

You feel a hand on your lower back, the exact area that’s starting to ache a little. Jeonghan applies pressure, and it brings temporary ease with it.

“I can help. But only if you want me to.”

You turn your head to look at your alpha. His face is open and blank. He isn’t being judgmental at all, but you feel mortification anyway. You hate that you’re like this. You hate that you can’t form a solid, comfortable relationship with Jeonghan without this being such a big factor. You still remember the horrifying ordeal of the last heat where you cried to him over the phone.

“Hey.” Maybe he senses your trepidation, because he leans forward, winding his arm around your waist and laying a chaste kiss on your forehead. His very proximity feels like balm on your irritated skin. He looks you dead in the eyes as he speaks.

“I want to help you, angel. But only if you’re ready. I don’t want you to go into heat to make this decision. Your head is clear right now, so you can tell me what you want. It’s all up to you.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, contemplating. You don’t know what to say, how to voice your fears. Your heats are intense, and absolutely unbearable for you or anyone in the vicinity. Why would Jeonghan want to be anywhere near you at a time like that?

When you voice your concern, he only laughs, but not unkindly.

“I’m pretty sure I can handle it.” He gives you a wink. “I’m different, you know?”

His confidence is a little reassuring, but you still hesitate. Jeonghan sighs and leans forward, bumping his forehead lightly to yours.

“My sweet girl, you have no idea how badly I want you.”

Your breath catches. His scent invades you, the reassuring mix of leather and vanilla in your nose. So you make up your mind and nod. You are choosing to trust him with every part of you, even the part you can’t bear to look at yourself.

Jeonghan carries you to your room even though you insist that you are fine right now. He helps make a nest, lamenting a little that there aren't more of his clothes at your place that he can fit into your nest.

“It’s okay, you can get your fill straight from the source.” He jokes, tilting his head back and tapping his neck. You giggle.

His attempts to lighten the mood work. He sheds his hoodie until he is left with just a thin shirt and pants, climbing into the nest with you. You’ve never had anyone inside, but it feels so right to have Jeonghan here. He wraps you up tightly in his arms by spooning you, laying little kisses on your face and neck, whatever patch of skin he can find, until you feel like he has squeezed the discomfort out of you. He calls Joshua and tells him to fuck off for a few days, to which your roommates only jokingly sighs and agrees. You tell him you feel bad about keeping Joshua away from his own home for a week at a time, and he gives you this sleazy smirk that sends a tingle of something pleasant down your spine.

“Oh darling, it won’t last a week this time. I’ll make sure of it.”

You swallow tightly, pressing your thighs together. He notices, because Jeonghan notices everything, and you feel his large hand splay over your bare thigh, fingertips toying with the hem of your shorts.

“Think it’ll be good for you if I make you cum right now.” His lips brush the shell of your ear from behind. You arch your back into him. You’re getting wet at an alarming rate, like your omega is just raring to give in to the alpha curled around you. His hand travels up, presses into the cotton of your shorts right at the crotch. You twitch at the feeling, eyes closing. You’re breathing heavily, and you know your heat is right around the corner. It seems Jeonghan’s plan is to nip it in the bud before it even hits full force.

His hand slides under the waistband of your shorts, sliding through your slit. You feel him groan into your ear.

“So wet already. Has my little omega been waiting for this?”

You can feel, in real time, your brain turn to mush as Jeonghan’s fingers rub over your cunt and find your clit. He toys with it between two fingers, and you whine, hips jerking. He squeezes, enough to jolt you, making you gasp.

“You’ll answer me when I ask you a question, got it?”

Your omega preens. Your eyes roll up. “Yes, alpha.”

“Good girl.”

You wonder if it’s the apex in him that’s making him rough and territorial like this, influenced by your heat. You could cum just like this. But he gives you more. He swivels his fingers over your throbbing nub, rubbing side to side just the way you like it. You don’t know how he knows, but you’re grateful for it, because it takes only a few minutes for your high to catch up to you. You want to let go, but you’re neck deep in Jeonghan’s pheromones, and the primal part of you tells you to not dare do it without your alpha’s permission. So, like the good girl he claims you are, you ask.

“Alpha,” you gasp against his precise fingers, hips undulating, listening to his wet and filthy it sounds. Jeonghan hums in question, licking over the shell of your ear. His strong arm holds you in place, and you only have so much wiggle room under his grip. You feel you can’t breathe as you plead with him, asking if you can cum. His lips stretch where they are pressed against the skin below your ear. His arm that was holding you comes up, grips your jaw tightly and tilts your head back so he can run his tongue over your lips. Your eyes fill with unshed tears.

“Such a quick learner.” He praises. “You know exactly what your alpha wants. Such a good omega, my perfect omega. Cum for me, darling. Come on.”

So you do. You gush over his hand, giving into the unrelenting pressure as he keeps rubbing harshly over your clit. He reaches his hand down and plunges two fingers inside your spamming cunt, grinding his palm on you to prolong your orgasm. You whine and twitch, digging your nails into his wrist, but he seems undeterred. He fingers you like that, not slowing for a single second even when you sob. Your high never really weans, being pulled longer and longer until you can’t differentiate where your first orgasm ends and your second one starts. All you know is that you’re wailing and twitching again, body convulsing so hard that Jeonghan has to almost roll on top of you to keep you in place, and he is finger fucking you through it as he whispers sweet praises in your ear. You gasp and nearly choke, vision swimming as you slowly come down. Finally, he buries his fingers deep inside you and stills.

For a long moment, you lay like that, half on your front, with Jeonghan draped over you. He pulls out gently and you gasp at how empty it feels. He plants a sweet kiss in your hair and finally separates from you, leaving your nest.

You can vaguely hear him moving around, going to the bathroom, the kitchen, more shuffling before he joins you in the nest again. You’re half dozing at this point, but he manages to coax some water into you before you fully fall asleep. He holds you through it, cuddling into you and taking advantage of your break to nap as well. When you wake up again, you’re feverish and sweaty, and Jeonghan is ready to give you what your omega has wanted all its life. A knot.

He kisses you slowly and tenderly as he undresses you, making sure to not let your omega get restless. His own clothes follow, and you’re surprised by how toned he is. He always hides under bulky clothes, so you didn’t anticipate this. Jeonghan is strong, and very athletic, you know this, but you expected him to be skinny, not deliciously lean like this.

He smirks when he catches you looking, finally tugging off his pants. Your mouth waters at the sight of his cock. He’s huge, throbbing and ready for you, flushed an angry deep pink color that has you clenching around nothing. Your body is more than ready for him, breaths already leaving you in ragged gasps as you try to retain your sanity.

“Ready, baby?” He’s only called you that once before, when you were in the throes of a heat, whispered prettily over the phone. Of his wide roster of petnames for you, you definitely love this one the most, especially the way he says it so sweetly. It takes all your effort to not keen, but it’s not possible to hold back, especially when he hooks one of your legs over his shoulder and slowly presses inside you, his cock carving through your desperate, spongy walls. You moan at the same time he does, revelling in the feeling. He brushes over every delicious spot inside you, making your toes curl. Your omega whines, just the relief of being filled up is so acute and so massive that your back arches and, without a warning, you cum.

Jeonghan curses over you, immediately moving. He wants to prolong your high, because he noticed that your heat broke for a good while after being properly stimulated. He fucks the orgasm right through you, and your body scrambles to process it all. It feels so unbelievably good, deliriously good, that you can’t believe you held out without this for so long. And it’s not just his cock, not just the fact that an alpha is fucking you through your heat, but it’s because this is Jeonghan. Your omega trusts him, yearns for him, and he takes that responsibility seriously, holding your body down and pounding into you just the way his alpha knows you want. You believe with complete certainty that no alpha on the planet can do you the way he does, anticipating your needs before you can even vocalise them, before you can even feel it yourself. It’s only him, and as he leans down to press his forehead against yours, his breaths heavy as his hips snap into yours over and over, you know this is it for you. Jeonghan is your endgame. He always has been, you just didn’t know it.

“Alpha,” you weep. Jeonghan groans.

“My pretty girl.” He rasps. You can see how dilated his pupils are, the flush rising up from his chest, to his neck and ears. He’s sweating, groaning, cursing as his cock indulges your pulsing, greedy pussy.

“I love you.” He breathes. You whine at his words. “Loved you for so long. Always knew you would be mine. My omega. Mine.”

Your leg, pressed between your bodies where it’s thrown over your shoulder, is joined by your other one as he maneuvers you into a mating press. His angle shifts in the position, and you can’t hold it any longer. You cum again, soaking his cock, making the base swell up so that finally, finally, Jeonghan bullies his fat knot into you, cumming so hard his whole body curls forward.

The whole room smells like sweat, sex, and dense alpha pheromones. Jeonghan’s presence is undeniable, so all encompassing that it overtakes even yours. He finally relaxes over you, catching his breath while he runs his tongue over your scent glands. You let him, enjoying the feeling, this indirect way of him laying his claim on you. Lying here, uninhibited and with your omega finally quiet after years and years of silent torture, you imagine what it would be like if Jeonghan were to claim you, in the concrete and sure way that alphas do by biting their omegas. The thought of being linked to another person for life should freak you out, but it doesn’t. Not when the person in question is Jeonghan. He already has your heart. He has taken your body too. There’s nothing you wouldn’t give to him, including the rest of your life.

When Jeonghan teasingly nips at the skin right over your scent glands, it feels like a silent promise that he wants the exact same thing. For the first time in your life, the future doesn’t seem bleak.

It’s a quiet Saturday morning, sunlight spilling in through the kitchen windows, the smell of pancakes filling the air. You’re halfway through flipping a batch when you hear the small, familiar patter of feet on the hardwood floor and then…

“Eommaaa…”

You glance over your shoulder just in time to see your four-year-old, Yoon Hana, standing in the doorway in her pajama set covered with little strawberries. Messy bed hair, sleep-swollen cheeks, and that dramatic pout she very obviously got from her father.

“Yes, my love?” you hum, pretending you don’t already know what she’s about to ask.

She blinks up at you, hopeful. “Where’s my strawb’ries?”

You sigh softly, hiding a smile as you set a plate down. “We’re having pancakes today, remember? With butter and—”

“No strawb’ries?” she interrupts, voice already trembling with disbelief.

You crouch a little to meet her eyes. “We ran out, Hana. Maybe we’ll buy some later, okay?”

Her lips wobble. “Then… I don’t want breakfast.”

Before you can answer, another voice chimes in from behind you. Deep, teasing, and way too smug for this early in the morning 

“Who doesn’t want breakfast?”

You turn, narrowing your eyes as Jeonghan strolls into the kitchen like he’s walking into a photoshoot. Hair still damp from his shower, shirt half-tucked, phone in one hand and that lazy grin already plastered across his face

“She’s on strike,” you say, crossing your arms. “Apparently pancakes without strawberries are unacceptable.”

Jeonghan crouches beside Hana, tapping her little nose. “Is that true, princess?”

Hana nods solemnly. “No strawb’ries, no food.”

He chuckles, scooping her up effortlessly. “You really are your appa’s daughter.”

“Don’t enable her.”

But he’s already walking toward the fridge, balancing Hana on his hip while peeking inside. “Well, maybe your eomma forgot to check properly… oh? What’s this?”

He pulls out a small plastic container. Strawberries, bright red and fresh.

Your eyes widen. “You didn’t—”

“Oh, I did.” He grins. “Picked some up last night. Figured she’d want them this morning.”

You glare, pointing the spatula at him. “You’re spoiling her again, Jeonghan.”

He only shrugs, unbothered. “I’m feeding her. That’s called parenting.”

“That’s called enabling,” you retort, but the corners of your lips twitch.

Hana giggles from his arms, waving one strawberry like it’s a trophy. “Appa is the best!”

You roll your eyes but smile anyway because between your little strawberry monster and your too-charming husband, you never really stood a chance.

“Fine,” you sigh, turning back to the stove. “But you’re washing the syrup off her face after breakfast.”

You’re still flipping the last pancake when you hear the sound of Jeonghan and Hana whispering conspiratorially behind you. the kind of whispering that’s absolutely not quiet.

You glance over your shoulder. “Whatever deal you two are making, it better not involve bribery.”

Jeonghan looks at you with that too-innocent smile, the one that always means he’s up to something. “Of course not, babe. We’re just… negotiating.”

“Negotiating?” you repeat, suspicious

He shifts Hana higher on his hip, and your daughter looks at you with those big pleading eyes that are somehow even rounder when she’s trying to get away with something.

“Appa said I can eat all the strawb’ries later if I eat all my dinner!” she blurts proudly

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Really, Jeonghan?”

He grins, not even pretending to be sorry. “It’s called compromise, my love. See? She eats real food and gets her strawberries. Everyone wins.”

You snort. “You’re unbelievable.”

He gestures to Hana, who’s now happily sitting at the table, fork in hand, clearly motivated by the promise. “Look, she’s eating already. I’m a parenting genius.”

You can’t help but laugh as Hana starts shoveling tiny bites of pancake into her mouth, humming between chews

“Yummy?” Jeonghan asks, crouching beside her.

She nods earnestly. “Yesh! So I can have strawb’ries now?”

He taps her nose, smiling. “Not yet, little one. You have to finish all of it first. Then you can eat as many as you want.”

Hana gives him a serious look, then looks down at her plate again like she’s mentally preparing for a marathon.

You rest your elbow on the counter, watching them both. “You do realize she’s going to demolish a whole box after this, right?”

Jeonghan stands, smirking. “Then I’ll just buy more. You should see her face light up when she eats them. Worth every trip to the market.”

You roll your eyes but there’s fondness in your voice when you say, “You’re hopeless.”

He leans over, stealing a quick kiss on your temple. “Hopelessly in love with both of you. I can live with that.”

By the time you plate your own breakfast, Hana’s done beaming proudly at her clean plate before reaching for the strawberries like a tiny champion who just conquered a great quest.

“Appa! I finished!”

Jeonghan claps his hands dramatically. “That’s my girl. Strawberries for my strong Hana.”

You just shake your head, laughing softly as you watch them. Your daughter’s cheeks smeared with red juice, Jeonghan’s eyes full of that quiet, gentle warmth that always softens you.

Maybe he does spoil her a little but watching the two of them together like this, you kind of can’t blame him.

You lean back in your chair, chin propped on your palm as you watch Hana devour her strawberries one by one, lips stained pink, cheeks puffed like a little chipmunk. She hums between bites, completely in her own world, swinging her tiny legs under the table.

You smile to yourself. “She really loves them, huh.”

Across from you, Jeonghan stretches his legs under the table until his foot nudges yours. You glance up, and he’s already giving you that teasing little grin.

“She’s just like you,” he says, voice soft but amused.

You blink. “Me?”

He nods, kicking you lightly again. “Don’t tell me you forgot. When you were pregnant with her, all you drank was banana milk. Every single day. Sometimes twice a day.”

You roll your eyes, already laughing. “That’s not true.”

“Oh, it’s very true,” he insists, leaning back in his chair with that smug tone that always gets him in trouble. “You’d send me out at midnight to buy them because, and I quote, ‘the one from the convenience store tastes better than the one at home.’”

You groan, covering your face. “Okay, maybe once or twice—”

“Try fifteen times,” he corrects, chuckling. “At least strawberries are an upgrade. Healthier than banana milk.”

It hits you in a soft wave, that memory, warm and ridiculous all at once.

Back when your belly was round and your emotions had a mind of their own, and Jeonghan had to learn very quickly that pregnancy cravings were not a suggestion. They were a mission.

It was almost midnight that night, the apartment lights dim except for the lamp by the couch. You were curled up in your blanket, hair messy, one hand rubbing your stomach like you were trying to soothe both you and the baby inside.

Jeonghan emerged from the shower, towel slung over his shoulders. “You’re still awake?”

You didn’t answer right away. just looked up at him with the most pitiful expression you could manage. The one he always fell for.

He sighed, already wary. “Okay… what did I forget this time?”

You mumbled, “Banana milk.”

He blinked. “You already had one.”

“I know,” you said, voice small. “But… I want another one.”

“Baby,” he groaned, half laughing. “It’s almost midnight. You’ve had three bottles today.”

You pouted harder. “It’s not enough. She—” you pointed at your stomach dramatically “—she wants one more.”

He tried to reason with you, he really did. “There’s no more in the fridge. And the store’s probably closed. Just drink water for now.”

You gasped like he just suggested something criminal. “Water?”

“Y/N…” he started, but then you turned away, pulling the blanket over your head

“No. Don’t talk to me. You don’t understand.”

And then the sniffle. That quiet, watery sound that made his eyes widen instantly.

“Oh no,” he muttered, crouching beside the couch. “Are you… are you crying?”

You peeked from under the blanket, lower lip trembling. “You said no.”

“Baby—”

“You always say no,” you said dramatically, even though he definitely didn’t. “You’re supposed to love me.”

He pressed his lips together, fighting a smile, then sighed in surrender. “Okay, okay, fine. I do love you. That’s why I’m not letting you drink five banana milks a day.”

But when your eyes got glassy again, his resolve immediately crumbled.

“Okay! Okay,” he said quickly, hands up in defeat. “I’ll go. There’s a 24-hour store a few blocks away.”

You sniffled. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he muttered, grabbing his jacket, still shaking his head in disbelief. “You and this baby are going to turn into a banana.”

When he came back twenty minutes later, breathless and slightly disheveled, holding two bottles like a proud hero, you were already half-asleep.

He sat beside you, brushing your hair away. “All this trouble for banana milk,” he murmured, smiling down at you.

You cracked one eye open, mumbling, “You’re the best.”

He laughed softly. “You’re impossible.”

Now, in the present, sitting at the kitchen table watching your daughter eat strawberries with the same level of devotion, Jeonghan glances at you, grinning.

“You cried over banana milk,” he reminds you, teasing.

You groan, covering your face. “You’ll never let that go, huh?”

“Never,” he says, voice gentle. “It’s one of my favorite memories.”

You kick him back lightly under the table. “You could’ve just said she takes after me, not drag my banana milk era into this.”

He grins wider, eyes twinkling. “But it’s true. She got your sweet tooth, your pout, your stubbornness…” He pauses, lowering his voice just a little. “And maybe your habit of making me weak every time you smile.”

You glance at him from behind your hand, warmth creeping up your neck. “You’re so dramatic.”

He shrugs. “You married me.”

Before you can reply, Hana looks up from her bowl, cheeks and fingertips sticky red. “Eomma, appa, look!” she says proudly, showing you the last two strawberries

“Wow,” Jeonghan gasps like she’s just shown him treasure. “You’re really just like your eomma. She never leaves food behind either.”

You shoot him a look, but you can’t help smiling as Hana pops the last berry into her mouth with a triumphant hum.

Jeonghan watches her, then glances back at you, voice softer now. “She’s got your kind of happy, too, you know.”

You tilt your head. “My kind of happy?”

He nods. “The kind that makes everyone else happy just watching it.”

And suddenly, between the sunlight on her strawberry-stained smile and Jeonghan’s quiet grin across the table, you think maybe he’s right.

=

The Saturday sun is soft and golden when Jeonghan pulls up to the clubhouse, one hand on the wheel, the other resting casually while Hana babbles from the backseat. She’s wearing her little sun hat — pink, of course with glitters all over it — and clutching a stuffed bunny that’s almost as big as her.

“Appa, are we playing ball today?” she asks eagerly as he parks

Jeonghan chuckles, glancing at her through the rearview mirror. “Kind of, yeah. But not like how you play it at school. This one’s quiet ball. We have to be very, very gentle.”

“Gentle?” she repeats, frowning a little. “Like this?” She makes a tiny swinging motion with her hands

“Exactly.” He grins, helping her out of the car. “My smart girl.”

She beams, slipping her tiny hand into his as they walk toward the green. A few people passing by smile — it’s hard not to, with Jeonghan in his white polo, sunglasses perched on his head, and Hana trotting beside him like a miniature version of sunshine itself.

At the range, Mingyu’s the first to spot them. “Yo! The Yoons have arrived!” he calls out, waving dramatically.

Joshua laughs beside him. “You mean Jeonghan has arrived. Hana’s the real VIP.”

Hana squeals when she sees them, running the last few steps. “Uncle Gyu! Uncle Shua!”

“Hey, princess!” Mingyu bends down to scoop her up, spinning her once before setting her on his shoulders. “You ready to beat your appa today?”

She gasps, eyes wide. “I can beat appa?”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes, smiling despite himself. “Mingyu, don’t teach her betrayal this early.”

Joshua chuckles, handing Jeonghan a club. “You should be used to it by now. Hana only cheers for winners.”

“Traitors, the both of you,” Jeonghan mutters, but he’s grinning as he tees up.

The morning rolls by easy, laughter, teasing, the sound of clubs striking, and Hana’s voice cutting through it all like music. She sits on the edge of the golf cart, munching on the snacks Joshua brought, legs swinging while she watches the grown-ups play.

When Jeonghan’s turn comes, she claps her hands. “Go, appa! You can do it!”

He glances at her over his shoulder, heart softening instantly. “Watch closely, Hana-ya. Appa’s gonna make the ball fly, okay?”

She nods seriously, bunny clutched tight.

He swings — smooth, precise — and the ball arcs beautifully across the field.

“Waaah!” Hana gasps, jumping up and down. “It went so far!”

Joshua smiles. “See that? That’s where she gets it. You used to do the same thing when we were learning, remember?”

Mingyu laughs, lining up his own shot. “Nah, Jeonghan used to whine when he missed. Hana’s already better.”

“I did not whine,” 

Joshua raises an eyebrow. “You once threw your glove at me because you sliced a shot.”

“Okay, maybe once.” He turns to Hana, crouching down to her level. “Don’t listen to them, baby. Appa’s very good at this.”

She giggles, pressing a strawberry-shaped sticker onto his shirt. “For luck!”

He looks down at it, feigning pride. “A gift from my biggest fan. I can’t lose now.”

The rest of the morning is a blur of sunlight, soft grass, and laughter. Mingyu gives Hana tiny lessons, helping her hold a junior club to tap a few balls. Joshua takes pictures of her “first swing,” while Jeonghan stands behind her, hands gently guiding hers.

“Just like that,” he murmurs. “Easy. You’re doing so well.”

When the ball rolls a few feet, Hana gasps like she’s just set a world record.

“I did it! Appa, I did it!”

Jeonghan kneels, scooping her up and spinning her once. “You did, my little pro golfer!”

Mingyu pretends to wipe a tear. “So proud of our niece.”

Joshua grins. “She’s officially better than you, Jeonghan.”

By the time they settle at the clubhouse for lunch, the morning sun has mellowed into a warm glow through the glass walls. The air smells faintly of fresh-cut grass and grilled food, the low hum of polite conversation filling the space.

And there’s Hana — fast asleep in Mingyu’s arms.

Head resting on his shoulder, mouth slightly open, her little hat slipping sideways, one tiny hand clutching the fabric of his shirt like she’s afraid to let go. Dead to the world, not even flinching when Joshua accidentally clinks his fork a little too loud.

Jeonghan chuckles quietly, setting his cap down on the table. “Told you she’d crash the second we sat down.”

Mingyu adjusts her carefully, his movements so gentle it almost doesn’t match his frame. “She didn’t even make it to the cart. I swear the second we stopped moving, she just—” He mimics a dramatic fainting motion, earning a small laugh from the other two.

Joshua shakes his head fondly. “She’s really growing up. I still remember when she couldn’t even hold her own bottle.”

Jeonghan leans back in his seat, that soft, proud smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah. Now she bosses me around.”

“You let her,” Mingyu says immediately, not missing a beat

Jeonghan shrugs. “Well, yeah. She’s cute. And she has her mom’s pout. What am I supposed to do, say no?”

Joshua laughs, pouring them each a drink. “Some things never change.”

They shift easily into conversation — the kind that only comes with years of friendship. Talk of recent projects, and a potential business deal Jeonghan’s been eyeing. Mingyu updates them about the company’s new expansion plans, Joshua chimes in about managing international clients.

It’s quiet, steady talk but it feels easy, familiar. The kind of rhythm that’s been theirs since their twenties, only now it’s calmer, grounded by the soft sound of Hana’s breathing.

Mingyu glances down at the little girl sleeping against him, her cheeks slightly flushed from the sun. “Man,” he murmurs, almost to himself. “I can’t believe you’re a dad.”

Jeonghan chuckles, swirling the ice in his glass. “Me neither sometimes.”

Joshua smiles. “You’re good at it, though.”

Jeonghan hums, looking toward Hana. “She makes it easy. Even when she’s stubborn… it’s like, I don’t know, I look at her and everything else just slows down.”

Mingyu grins. “You’re getting soft, hyung.”

“Getting?” Joshua teases. “He’s been soft since Y/N told him she was pregnant.”

Jeonghan smirks but doesn’t deny it. “Yeah, well. When you’ve got two girls like that at home, what choice do you have?”

A server sets down their food, and Mingyu carefully shifts Hana into Jeonghan’s arms so he can eat. She doesn’t even stir, just burrows closer into Jeonghan’s chest, her little hand curling against his collar.

Joshua chuckles softly. “She’s out cold.”

Jeonghan nods, his voice dropping. “Yeah. She’s a heavy sleeper, like her mom.”

Mingyu finally leans back, sighing. “You’ve got a good life, hyung.”

Jeonghan glances down at the tiny, sleeping weight in his arms and smiles. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “I really do.”

By the time Jeonghan’s car pulls into the driveway, the afternoon sun has turned soft and hazy, stretching long shadows across the yard. The quiet hum of the engine is the only sound—Hana hasn’t stirred once since they left the clubhouse.

She’s still fast asleep in her car seat, one arm flopped to the side, bunny pressed against her cheek. He opens the door carefully, not wanting to wake her, and smiles when she lets out a tiny sigh.

As he lifts her into his arms, she instinctively curls closer to him, face nuzzling against his neck. That faint baby-sweet smell of sunscreen and strawberries lingers in her hair.

“Appa…” she murmurs, voice muffled.

Jeonghan glances down, amused. “Hmm?”

“...strawb’ries…” she mumbles again, half-asleep

He huffs a soft laugh, kissing her forehead. “Of course. Even in your dreams, huh?”

She hums quietly, drifting deeper into sleep.

He carries her inside, careful not to wake her, his footsteps soft against the wooden floor. The house smells faintly of citrus and paint. That familiar, homey mix that always means you’re here.

He heads toward the sunroom, following the faint sound of a brush clinking against glass.

You’re there — standing in front of your easel, sunlight painting your skin gold. A loose white shirt hangs off one shoulder, a smudge of blue streaked across your wrist. The air around you feels warm and soft, like time slows a little when you’re in your element.

Jeonghan leans against the doorway for a moment, just watching.

“Hey,” he murmurs, voice low so he doesn’t startle you

You glance back, smiling the second you see him. “You’re back.”

He nods, stepping in closer, Hana still asleep against his chest. “Mm. Someone had too much fun and passed out halfway through lunch.”

You grin, setting your brush down and walking over to them. “Looks like it.” You brush a stray hair from Hana’s forehead, whispering softly, “Did you have fun with appa, love?”

She stirs slightly but doesn’t wake—just mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like “more strawb’ries.”

Jeonghan laughs quietly. “See? Even in her dreams.”

You glance at him, eyes amused. “She’s definitely your daughter.”

“Hey,” he says with mock offense, “she got that obsession from you.”

“Mine were banana milk cravings, not fruit addictions,” you shoot back playfully, but your smile softens when he sways a little still rocking Hana gently even though she’s long gone to dreamland.

“She had a good day?” you ask quietly.

He nods. “Yeah. Hit a few balls, charmed Mingyu and Joshua into spoiling her, then fell asleep on the drive back. Perfect Saturday, I’d say.”

You hum, tracing your fingers lightly over Hana’s tiny hand where it rests against his shirt. “She looks peaceful.”

That earns him a small smile, the kind that reaches your eyes. You reach out, brushing a bit of grass from his sleeve. “You both smell like sun and the golf course.”

He grins. “It’s called father-daughter bonding, thank you very much.”

You chuckle, stepping back toward the hallway. “C’mon, let’s put her to bed. I’ll get her out of that dress before she overheats.”

He follows you, still holding Hana carefully like she’s the most fragile thing in the world. And maybe, to him, she is.

Later, when she’s tucked into bed—bunny under her arm, hair fanned out on her pillow—you both stand at the doorway for a while, watching her chest rise and fall.

“She really said strawberries in her sleep, huh?” you whisper, smiling.

Jeonghan nods, slipping an arm around your waist. “Yep. Some things never change.”

You glance up at him. “Like her appa spoiling her?”

He grins, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Exactly like that.”

=

It’s a typical weekday morning. The kind that starts calm and somehow turns chaotic in under five minutes. You’re standing by the dresser, trying to tame your hair with one hand and button your blouse with the other, when the argument starts in the hallway.

“Appa!” Hana’s voice rings out, full of pure four-year-old indignation. “You said I can wear the sparkly dress!”

Jeonghan’s sigh follows right after. “You can’t wear that to school, Hana-ya. You’ll be running around, it’s too fancy.”

“But it’s pretty!” she insists, little feet stomping against the floor for emphasis. “Eomma said I look like a princess!”

You bite back a smile. Ah, that’s on you, you think, hearing the tiny accusation in her tone already

You peek out into the hallway to see her. Pink glittery dress in hand, bed hair still wild, cheeks puffed out like she’s preparing for battle. Jeonghan, meanwhile, looks far too composed for someone being challenged by a preschooler.

“Sweetheart,” he says patiently, crouching to her level. “You’ll play outside today, right? What if your pretty dress gets dirty?”

“I’ll be careful!”

“You said that yesterday,” he points out, “and your shorts came home looking like you wrestled the sandbox.”

“That’s because Joon pushed me!” she protests dramatically. “He’s mean!”

“Maybe Joon wouldn’t have pushed you if you weren’t showing him your sparkly shoes while he was on the swing,” Jeonghan says, fighting a grin.

You finally step in, leaning against the doorframe. “Alright, my loves. What’s the debate this morning?”

“Eomma!” Hana whirls around like she’s been waiting for you to save her. “Appa won’t let me wear my princess dress!”

Jeonghan stands, arms crossing, giving you that look the one that silently says, back me up, please.

You hum, pretending to think. “Hmm. Well, your dress is beautiful, Hana…”

Her face lights up immediately

“…but Appa’s right.”

Her jaw drops. “Eommaaa!”

You crouch down beside her, brushing her hair back. “If you wear that to school, you won’t be able to play properly. How about you wear it when we go out this weekend instead?”

Hana’s lips wobble, clearly betrayed. “But—”

Jeonghan kneels beside you, gently adding, “You can wear your sparkly hair clip today. The pink one that matches your bag. Deal?”

She stares at him suspiciously, then at you.

You nod encouragingly. “And you’ll still look like a princess.”

There’s a long pause as she weighs her options… and finally, she sighs, crossing her tiny arms. “Fine.”

Jeonghan grins, triumphant. “That’s my girl.”

You chuckle, standing up. “Teamwork, huh?”

“Teamwork,” he agrees then smirks. “Though, to be fair, she’s your daughter when she argues like that.”

You shoot him a look while reaching for Hana’s hairbrush. “Oh really? I wonder who she got that tone from.”

“I don’t sound like that,” he says, mock offended

You raise a brow. “You sound exactly like that.”

From her little stool, Hana giggles, watching you both bicker like it’s her favorite morning show.

“Eomma, Appa,” she says between laughs, “you fight funny.”

Jeonghan winks at her. “That’s because we’re not fighting. We’re discussing.”

You roll your eyes, brushing Hana’s hair into a neat ponytail. “Discussing who’s right, as usual.”

He leans over, presses a kiss to your cheek, and murmurs, “I’ll let you win today. I already won with her.”

You snort, but your smile betrays you.

And ten minutes later, Hana’s finally dressed — pink clip on, sparkly dress safely hanging for the weekend — and Jeonghan’s trying to convince her to eat breakfast while she’s busy twirling in front of the mirror anyway.

Later in the evening. Dinner’s over, dishes are stacked, and the house has that soft post-evening quiet except, of course, for the chaos brewing down the hall.

You’re wiping the kitchen counter when you hear it: Jeonghan’s voice, somewhere between calm reasoning and utter surrender.

“Hana, baby, you can only bring two plushies to bed.”

A tiny but very determined voice answers back, “No. All of them.”

You peek into the doorway of her room and nearly laugh out loud. There she is your four-year-old daughter, Yoon Hana standing in the middle of her room, surrounded by at least a dozen plush toys spread across the floor like she’s planning an evacuation drill.

Jeonghan, hands on hips, looks like a man facing defeat. “Sweetheart, there’s no room left for you if you take them all.”

She crosses her arms, eyes narrowing just like his when he’s about to argue. “I’ll make room.”

“You said that last night,” he points out, crouching down, “and then I had to rescue Bunny, Bear, and Strawberry Cat because they fell off the bed and you cried.”

“I won’t cry today,” she insists.

He sighs dramatically, rubbing his forehead. “You said that yesterday.”

You lean against the doorframe, arms folded, amused. “Everything okay in here?”

Two sets of identical eyes turn to you.

Jeonghan immediately points at Hana. “She wants to bring her entire zoo to bed.”

Hana gasps, scandalized. “They’re not a zoo! They’re my babies!”

You bite back a smile. “That’s a lot of babies, sweetheart.”

“Eomma, Appa said only two,” she whines, bottom lip jutting out.

“Because it’s bedtime, not a sleepover,” Jeonghan mutters

“Appa!”

You step in before the debate escalates into another round. “Okay, okay. How about this — you can choose three. One for cuddles, one to watch over you, and one for Appa to hold so he doesn’t get lonely.”

That earns a little giggle. Jeonghan glares playfully. “Why am I holding a plushie?”

You grin. “Because you always end up stealing hers anyway.”

He opens his mouth, realizes you’re right, and shuts it with a sigh. “Fine. Three.”

Hana looks between you both, suspiciously considering the terms of this treaty. After a long pause, she finally nods and picks: Bunny, Bear, and the famous Strawberry Cat because, of course, even her toy matches her obsession.

“See?” Jeonghan says, scooping her up. “Compromise. That’s how families work.”

She wraps her tiny arms around his neck. “Appa, you so bossy.”

He gasps, feigning betrayal. “Bossy?! I’m teaching you life lessons!”

You snort. “Sure you are.”

Then, just when you think the argument’s over, Hana pipes up again as he carries her toward the bed.

“Appa, wait! Pajamas!”

He groans. “You’re already wearing pajamas.”

“No,” she says matter-of-factly, pointing at her unicorn onesie, “I want the strawberry one.”

“You just wore that last night!”

“It’s strawberry night.”

He blinks. “There’s a strawberry night?”

“Every night strawberry night,” she declares proudly

You lose it then, the laughter bubbling out before you can stop it. Jeonghan shoots you a helpless look, and you shrug, still smiling. “She’s your daughter.”

He sighs, shaking his head, but there’s no hiding the fondness tugging at his lips as he helps her wriggle out of the unicorn onesie. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” he murmurs, tucking her in with her chosen plush army.

Hana yawns, already cuddling Bunny tight. “Appa?”

“Hmm?”

“Tomorrow, we buy more strawberries.”

He glances at you over her head, and you just roll your eyes.

“Sure, sweetheart,” he says softly. “We’ll buy all the strawberries you want.”

“See,” you tease, whispering as you switch off the light, “and you say I’m the soft one.”

He grins, whispering back, “You are. I’m just selectively weak.”

=

The call comes in the middle of the afternoon

Her preschool.

You answer with a polite, automatic “Hello?” and then everything after that blurs.

“There’s been a small accident,” the teacher says quickly, reassuring too fast. “Hana bumped her head on the corner of a table. She’s okay, but there’s a cut. We’ve already taken her to the hospital. She’ll need a few stitches.”

Your heart drops straight to your feet.

You don’t even remember hanging up. You just grab your bag, hands shaking as you call Jeonghan. He answers on the second ring.

“She’s hurt,” you say, voice tight. “We’re going to the hospital.”

That’s all it takes.

By the time you reach the emergency room, Jeonghan is already there. Tie gone. Jacket nowhere to be seen. Hair a mess like he ran his hands through it one too many times. Comforting little Hana who is on the hospital bed.

He looks up the second he sees you. Relief flashing across his face and then he turns toward the treatment room again, jaw tightening.

Hana sits on the bed, legs dangling, little hands clenched in her lap. There’s dried blood near her hairline, a small bandage pressed to her forehead. Her eyes light up when she sees you too

“Eomma!”

You’re at her side in two steps, pulling her into your arms carefully. “Baby, I’m here. I’m here.”

Jeonghan stands on her other side, one hand immediately cupping the back of her head, thumb brushing gently through her hair

“Does it still hurt?” he asks softly. Too softly.

She sniffles. “A little… but the doctor gave me a sticker.”

He exhales through his nose, nodding. “Good. You were very brave.”

You can feel it — the tension radiating off him. His shoulders are rigid, his jaw clenched so hard it almost looks painful. He’s smiling at her, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

A nurse explains what happened.

Table corner. Kids running. Accident.

Jeonghan nods. Says “Okay.” Says “I see.” Says “Thank you.”

But his hand never leaves Hana. His grip tightens just slightly every time someone mentions the word accident.

When the doctor comes in to do the stitches, Hana panics the second she sees the tray. Her lip trembles.

“No needles,” she whimpers. “Appa…”

Jeonghan’s expression breaks instantly. He leans in, forehead touching hers.

“Hey. Look at me,” he murmurs. “Appa’s right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

He holds her hands, lets her squeeze his fingers as hard as she wants. He keeps his voice steady, calm, reassuring .

But you see it.The way his free hand curls into a fist. The way his knee bounces uncontrollably.

The way he looks away for just a second when the needle goes in not because he can’t watch, but because he’s trying not to lose it.

She cries of course. You don’t stop her, just let her be a kid who was hurtsobs that tear straight through both of you.

“That’s it,” he whispers. “You’re doing so good. Appa’s got you. Appa’s here.”

Three stitches. Ten minutes that feel like an hour.

When it’s done, Hana slumps against him, exhausted. He lifts her immediately, settling her against his chest like she belongs nowhere else.

“She needs to rest,” the doctor says. “No running for a bit. Keep the area clean.”

Jeonghan nods again. Too stiff. Too controlled.

Outside the room, once Hana is half-asleep in his arms, you finally see it fully.

He stops walking. Just stands there, breathing hard through his nose. His jaw tightens. His eyes darken.

“I told them,” he says quietly. “I told them she doesn’t run well when she’s tired. I told them she gets clumsy.”

You touch his arm. “Han—”

“She waited for me on the living room floor last week when I got home late,” he continues, voice low and shaking despite his effort to keep it even. “She cries when I leave. And now this?”

He swallows hard, looking down at Hana. Her lashes still wet, her tiny face pale with exhaustion.

“I wasn’t there,” he says. Not angry at you. Not even really at the school. At himself.

You step closer, resting your hand on his chest, grounding him. “You came as fast as you could. She knows that.”

As if on cue, Hana stirs, her fingers curling into his shirt.

“Appa…” she murmurs sleepily.

His face softens instantly. All that anger folds inward, contained, locked away for later.

“I’m here,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to her hair. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“She’s not going back for a few days,” he says firmly. “I don’t care about meetings. I’ll take time off.”

You nod. “We’ll both stay with her.”

He exhales, finally, leaning his forehead briefly against yours. “I swear,” he murmurs, “if anything ever hurts her—”

You interrupt gently. “She’s safe. She’s with us.”

He tightens his hold around Hana, protective to his core. Jeonghan may be calm, gentle, teasing most days.

But when it comes to his little girl? That anger. that fierce, controlled fire,  is pure love.

“I’ll talk to her teachers,” you say quietly. “To the school.”

Jeonghan looks at you like that’s the last thing he wants to hear.

“I’ll do it,” he says immediately, voice low but sharp around the edges. “I’m her father.”

You shake your head, stepping in front of him so he has no choice but to look at you. Hana is still asleep against his chest, cheek pressed into his collarbone, little fingers fisted in his shirt.

“Babe,” you murmur, softer now. “You’re mad. I can see it.”

His jaw tightens instantly “Yeah,” he says. No denial. No hesitation. “And for a reason.”

He glances down at Hana, his voice dropping even lower, like he doesn’t want his anger to reach her even in sleep.

“Look at our baby girl,” he continues. “We barely let a fly touch her. You and I hover like insane people. Helmets for scooters, corner guards on every table at home—” He exhales sharply through his nose. “And now this.”

You watch the way his arm tightens around her, how instinctively protective he is, like his body is bracing against the world itself.

“I know,” you say, placing your hand over his. “I know how you feel.”

“She cried,” he says, voice rougher now. “She was scared. And I wasn’t there when it happened.”

“That doesn’t make it your fault,” you say firmly

He lets out a bitter, humorless laugh. “Tell that to my head.”

You step closer, pressing your forehead to his temple. “If you go in there like this,” you whisper, “you’re going to say something you can’t take back. They’ll hear anger before they hear concern.”

He doesn’t argue. That’s how you know you’re right.

You pull back just enough to look at him. “Let me do the talking. I’ll ask the questions. I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

His eyes flick to yours, conflicted. Protective. Still simmering.

“And you,” you add gently, “stay here with her. She needs her appa calm. Not ready to burn the buildig down.”

“Only barely,” he mutters

You squeeze his hand. “I know.”

For a moment, he just stands there, breathing, grounding himself. Then he nods once.

“Okay,” he says quietly. “You talk to them.”

He looks down at Hana again, brushing his thumb softly across her hairline, careful to avoid the stitches.

“Bt if they try to brush this off,” he adds, eyes hardening, “I’m stepping in.”

You nod. “That’s fair.”

Hana shifts again, her face scrunching slightly. He immediately rocks her, slow and instinctive.

“I’ve got you,” he whispers to her, voice all warmth now. “Appa’s right here.”

You watch him. Your calm, teasing, gentle husband holding so much fire just beneath the surface  and you know you made the right call.

You turn toward the hallway, shoulders squaring. You’ll handle the school. He’ll handle your daughter. And between the two of you, nothing gets past unprotected.

At home, the house feels quieter than usual.

No cartoons playing. No little feet running around.

Hana sits on the couch with her favorite blanket wrapped tight around her shoulders, eyes red and puffy, stitches hidden beneath a fresh bandage. Jeonghan kneels in front of her, trying to distract her with soft voices and silly faces but the moment you come out of the bathroom holding the clean gauze and ointment, she knows.

Her lower lip starts to wobble immediately.

“No…” she whispers, scooting back. “Eomma, no… it’ll hurt.”

Your heart cracks.

You sit beside her slowly, keeping everything visible so nothing feels like a surprise. “Baby, it won’t hurt like before. I promise. We just have to clean it so it can heal, okay?”

She shakes her head violently, tears spilling over. “No. No touching. Appa, tell eomma no touching.”

Jeonghan’s jaw tightens, but he keeps his voice gentle as he pulls her into his chest. “Hey… hey, bunny. Look at appa.”

She buries her face in his shirt, sobbing.

“It’s scary,” he murmurs, rubbing slow circles into her back. “I know. But eomma is going to be very gentle. Appa’s right here the whole time.”

She sniffles. “Will it hurt?”

He doesn’t lie. He never does with her. “Maybe a little uncomfortable. But not pain. And it’ll be very fast.”

She whimpers at that, fingers clutching his collar.

You take a steady breath, fighting the ache in your chest. “Hana, remember when you got strawberries stuck in your teeth and we had to clean it? You were scared then too. And you did so well.”

She peeks at you through wet lashes. “…I cried.”

“And that was okay,” you say softly. “You can cry. We’ll still do it together.”

Jeonghan nods. “Crying is allowed. Screaming too, if you want. Appa won’t let go.”

She hesitates, then nods the tiniest bit.

He adjusts so she’s sitting on his lap, facing you, her arms wrapped tight around his neck. His hand cups the back of her head, steady but gentle.

“Okay,” he whispers. “Count strawberries with appa. One… strawberry…”

You move slowly, peeling back the bandage just enough to clean around the stitches. She gasps and squeezes him hard.

“Two… strawberries,” he continues, voice calm, even as his knuckles go white from holding himself together.

She cries but she doesn’t pull away.

You dab carefully, apologizing quietly under your breath with every touch. “I’m so sorry, baby. Almost done. Almost done.”

“Three… strawberries,” Jeonghan says, pressing a kiss to her hair. “You’re doing so good. So brave.”

Her crying turns into hiccupy breaths. You finish quickly, reapply the ointment, place the fresh bandage.

“All done,” you say immediately, pulling your hands back. “Finished.”

Hana freezes then she realizes it’s over. She collapses fully into Jeonghan’s chest, crying harder now not from pain, but from relief.

“That’s it,” he murmurs, rocking her gently. “You did it. Appa told you. You’re so strong.”

You set the supplies aside, blinking back tears of your own.

After a moment, Hana lifts her head, eyes swollen, voice small. “Can I… can I have a strawberry?”

Jeonghan lets out a shaky laugh, pressing his forehead to hers. “Of course you can. Doctor-approved strawberries.”

She nods solemnly, exhausted. “Okay…”

Jeonghan looks up at you, eyes soft now, anger finally drained, replaced with pure devotion.

An hour later, Soobin shows up unannounced.

Well announced in the sense that the doorbell rings once, and then immediately after, someone is aggressively knocking like the house is on fire.

Jeonghan looks up from the couch. “That’s my sister.”

You barely have time to stand before the door swings open and Soobin storms in, bag slung over her shoulder, eyes already scanning the room.

“Where is she.”

Hana, who’s curled up between you and Jeonghan with her blanket and a plush strawberry clutched to her chest, perks up instantly.

“Binnie auntie!” she squeals.

Soobin’s entire expression melts and then hardens again immediately as she spots the bandage on Hana’s forehead.

“…Who,” Soobin says calmly, dangerously, “do I need to fight.”

Jeonghan groans. “Soobin.”

You laugh despite yourself. “Hi to you too.”

Soobin drops her bag and is on her knees in front of Hana in two seconds flat, hands hovering but not touching yet, like she’s handling a priceless artifact.

“Oh, my baby,” she coos, voice dripping with affection. “What happened to your face? Did someone look at you wrong?”

Hana pouts dramatically. “I bonked a table.”

Soobin gasps. “A table?”

She looks up at Jeonghan, eyes blazing “Why was the table allowed to be there.”

“It’s a preschool,” he deadpans “They have tables.”

“So?” she snaps “Remove them.”

You bite your lip to keep from laughing

Soobin turns back to Hana instantly, softness returning like a switch flipped. “Does it hurt?”

Hana nods a little. “But appa and eomma cleaned it.”

Soobin points at Jeonghan. “See? I told you to marry someone competent.” Jeonghan rolls his eyes. 

Soobin reaches into her bag and pulls out a small stuffed bunny wearing a tiny headband.

“I brought you a healing bunny,” she announces. “It absorbs pain.”

Hana’s eyes go wide. “Really?”

“Absolutely,” Soobin says solemnly. “I fought three people to get it.”

Jeonghan mutters, “She bought it at the airport.”

“So?” Soobin shoots back. “I fought crowds.”

Hana giggles, the sound easing something tight in your chest.

Soobin carefully sits beside her, letting Hana lean into her, then glares at Jeonghan again. “If anyone so much as breathes wrong around her again—”

“I know,” he sighs. “You’ll fight them.”

“I will end them,” she corrects.

Hana giggles “Auntie scary.”

Soobin smiles proudly “Only for people who hurt you.”

She glances at the bandage once more, then softens completely, brushing Hana’s hair gently away from it.

“You scared us, you know that?” she says quietly

Hana nods. “But I was brave.”

Soobin’s eyes mist immediately. “You were the bravest.”

Jeonghan watches the two of them, shaking his head with a fond smile. “She gets that from me.”

Soobin snorts. “Please. She gets it from me.”

You lean back, watching them. The calm appa, the feral aunty, and your strawberry girl soaking up all that love and think that maybe, just maybe, Hana couldn’t have asked for a more fiercely protective family.

“Next time, call me first.”

Jeonghan answers without missing a beat. “We’ll call you after the police.”

Soobin suddenly claps her hands like she’s just remembered something extremely important.

“Oh. Oh. Wait.”

She shoots to her feet and digs back into her bag, rummaging dramatically. “I almost forgot. This is actually the most important part.”

Jeonghan squints. “If this is another weapon—”

She ignores him and pulls out a perfectly wrapped box, glossy, pristine, the kind that already looks expensive before it’s even opened.

She kneels back down in front of Hana, eyes lighting up. “Hana-ya, look what imo got you.”

Hana sits up immediately, healing bunny forgotten for a second. “For me?”

“For you,” Soobin says proudly. “Only the best.”

She opens the box.

Inside: strawberries.

Not normal strawberries. Huge, impossibly red, glossy like jewels, nestled carefully in soft padding. The kind of strawberries you see in luxury fruit shops that cost more than a decent dinner.

Hana gasps so loudly it’s almost comical. “Woaaah…”

Jeonghan freezes. “…Soobin.”

“Soobin what?” she says innocently

“You bought those?” he asks, already knowing the answer

“They were expensive,” she says cheerfully “Which means they’re good for healing.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “You really didn’t have to.”

“I did,” Soobin insists. “My niece was injured in battle.”

“It was a table,” Jeonghan mutters.

“A weaponized table,” she snaps back

Hana carefully reaches out, tiny fingers hovering. “Can I eat one?”

Soobin looks at you and Jeonghan. “Doctor-approved?”

You nod. Soobin picks the biggest strawberry, washes it carefully, then cuts it into perfect little pieces like she’s preparing an offering.

She hands it to Hana with ceremony. “Eat well, my love.”

Hana takes a bite and her eyes widen.

“It’s so sweet,” she whispers reverently, juice already staining her lips pink again.

Soobin watches her like she just cured a disease. “See? Healing.”

Jeonghan sighs, but there’s no real bite to it. “You’re spoiling her.”

Soobin shrugs. “That’s my job.”

Hana looks up at her, mouth full, smiling. “I love you, imo.”

Soobin presses a hand to her chest dramatically. “I would burn the world for you.”

Jeonghan groans. “Please don’t say that in front of her.”

Hana giggles, strawberry juice on her chin, stitches hidden under her bandage, surrounded by love and absurd amounts of protection.

You catch Jeonghan’s eye over her head. He smiles, soft, fond, resigned.

“She’s never going to accept regular strawberries again,” he murmurs

You glance at Soobin, who is already planning the next indulgence.

“Yeah,” you say quietly. “But she’ll always know she’s loved.”

And honestly? That’s worth every overpriced strawberry.

By the time you finish tidying up, the house is finally quiet.

The lights are dimmed, dishes put away, Soobin long gone with one last dramatic promise to “check in tomorrow.” You head toward Hana’s room, ready to remind Jeonghan it’s already past her bedtime.

You peek inside. Empty. No Hana. No Jeonghan.

You don’t even panic. You just smile to yourself because you already know. You turn down the hall and gently push open your bedroom door.

There they are.

Jeonghan is sitting against the headboard, legs stretched out, glasses perched low on his nose. Hana is curled up beside him in her pajamas, bandage still on her forehead, leaning into his side.

Spread across the bed are old photo albums. The real ones. Thick pages. Soft edges. Years worth of memories.

“This one,” Hana says, pointing at a photo. “Why is eomma wearing a big white dress?”

He smiles, thumb brushing over the edge of the picture. “That was our wedding. Eomma looked very beautiful that day.”

Hana tilts her head. “Did you cry?”

He chuckles “I did. But don’t tell anyone.”

She flips the page “Why is eomma’s tummy big here?”

“That’s because you were in there,” he says easily, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world

Her eyes widen. “I lived in eomma?”

“Yes,” he says softly. “For a long time.”

She studies the photo of you laughing, hand on your belly “Were you scared?”

Jeonghan pauses just for a second then smiles “A little. But mostly I was excited I couldn’t wait to meet you.”

Another page. Hospital room. You exhausted, glowing, holding a tiny pink bundle.

Hana gasps “Is that me?”

“That’s you,” he says, voice gentler now “You were very small. You cried a lot.”

“I still cry sometimes"

He laughs quietly “Yes. But now you’re louder.”

She giggles and snuggles closer to him.

“Appa,” she asks, tracing a finger over a newborn photo. “Did you love me right away?”

Jeonghan doesn’t hesitate.

“Immediately,” he says, smiling. His eyes soften, distant, like he’s back there again. “I loved you before I even saw your face.”

Hana hums, satisfied, eyelids starting to droop.

You lean against the doorframe, heart so full it almost hurts, watching him turn pages carefully, answering every question, reliving each moment without rushing her once.

He looks up then finally noticing you.

Your eyes meet.

His smile turns softer, warmer, meant just for you.

“She’s stalling,” he mouths silently.

You shake your head, smiling back. Let her.

A few minutes later, Hana is asleep between the two of you, clutching her favorite strawberry bunny plushie.

“She had a big day,” he whispers

You nod, sliding under the covers beside them. “You’re a good appa.”

He exhales, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m just… grateful.”

You glance at your daughter stitched but safe and loved beyond measure.

There are times when you realize that you and your friend group are in different tax brackets. All of the boys in your friend group have different types of jobs. Soonyoung owns a dance studio, Joshua is a producer, Jeonghan and Mingyu work at Seungcheol‘s company, which he started up when he was twenty. Wonwoo works a tech job with Minghao. Then there is you, working as a freelance writer. A struggling freelance writer at that.

When the money is good for you, things are great, but recently, you can't find work to save your life, and you’ve had to dip into your savings to get by. It’s safe to say that recently things have been quite tough for you.

Sitting in Seungcheol's expensive penthouse with a beautiful view of the city, you’re next to Wonwoo, listening to the rest of the boys go on about what the plan should be for Seungcheol's upcoming birthday. He’s turning thirty, and the boys have been talking about the possibility of a trip to celebrate.

“I say we just commit to finally doing a group Vegas trip.” Jeonghan chimed in. He and Soonyoung have been trying to plan a Vegas trip for years at this point.

“Really, Vegas?” Minghao seems unamused by this idea.

“That could be fun. Could you guys all swing, missing some work for this?” Seungcheol asked.

“I mean, technically, you're mine and Jeonghan's boss.” Mingyu laughs.

All the boys agree to go other than Wonwoo, who is traveling for a work trip that week. When they all turn your attention to you, you wish you could disappear. There is absolutely no way you can afford a trip right now. It’s been over a month since you had a job. You shouldn’t be doing anything lavish.

“I probably shouldn’t travel. I’m trying to lock down a few jobs.”

Seungcheol's eyes lock on yours, and he stares at you intently. He’s always had this ability to easily read you. Setting his beer on the counter, he reaches for his phone in his pocket. You watch as he starts typing away on his keyboard.

Your phone buzzes, and you instantly know he’s texting you.

From cheol 🍒: just go on the trip.

From pinky: I wish I could, but money is tight with the lack of jobs I’m getting.

From cheol 🍒: literally just agree to going and I’ll pay for you. You won’t have to worry about anything. I’ll give you a credit card and you can swipe away and pretend the money is coming from a magical account.

From pinky: that’s insane.

He sets his phone down and gives you a smile across the room. “Okay, let’s figure out who is rooming with who. Jeonghan and Shua together. Hao and Mingyu, and then Soonyoung and Pinky.”

“I thought Pinky didn’t agree.” Joshua chimes in. It used to embarrass you, that your nickname refers to the time the wind blew your skirt up and flashed all the boys your pink panties. It’s been over ten years now, and the nickname doesn’t faze you anymore.

“Pinky is going. Right?” He gives you a look, letting you know you can’t say no.

“I’ll go—“ You know this is an absolutely insane idea.

“Good luck. Let me know how this goes.” Wonwoo laughed beside you.

-

Arriving in Vegas feels like an absolute whirlwind. You barely have time to settle in before the boys are dragging you around.

Jeonghan had the absolutely insane idea that the whole group had to be in a bar when it was officially Seungcheol’s birthday . That would be great if you haven’t been drinking for literally hours.

Your hand was gripping Soonyoung’s as he led you towards the bar. He’s talking to the bartender as you attempt to fix this dress that is way too short for your liking.

Looking over where your friend group is, you see Seungcheol watching you. The moment Soonyoung has drinks, he leads you back to the bar, holding his own drink and one for the birthday boy.

As soon as you're close to the group, Jeonghan grabs your arm, moving you closer to the birthday boy. Holding out Seungcheol’s jack and coke he gives you a smile, pressing his lips to your forehead for a quick kiss. This isn't something out of the ordinary, as the entire friend group tends to lack personal boundaries.

“Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.” Seungcheol’s hand lingers on your lower back. Standing next to you, he leans down and says, “You look really pretty.” Being – for the most part – one of the only girls in this friend group, it’s not unusual for the boys to compliment you. The way he says it feels different though.

“You look pretty good yourself, birthday boy.” He gives you a crooked smile.

“Let me buy your next drink.”

“I didn’t buy my last one, Soonyoung did.”

“Just let me buy it.”

“But it’s your birthday, you shouldn’t be spending money on drinks.“

“It may be my birthday, but I want to take care of you.” You can hear Joshua and Jeonghan arguing about something in the distance, but all you can fully focus on is the way Seungcheol is staring at you.

“Cheol—“

“Pinky?”

“You don’t need to take care of me. I should be buying you drinks.”

Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out his wallet. Without another thought, he pulls out a black metal card and hands it to you. The cold metal hits your hand before you can even argue with him, a clear indication of how wealthy Seungcheol actually is.

“Why are you giving me your card?”

“Because, the whole time we’re here in Vegas, I want you to just use it. Like I said before, pretend it’s coming out of your bank account if it makes you feel better.”

Maybe he’s right, clearly he does have too much money. Why on earth would he freely hand you his black card and just tell you to spend his money?

“Here, time for shots.” Jeonghan comes over holding a tray of what looks like tequila shots.

“Not now Hannie.” You try to wave him off. Before you can say anything else, he holds a tequila shot to your lips.

“Be a good girl and take the shot for Cheol’s birthday.”

You glance over at Seungcheol, who grabs a shot and holds it up to his own lips.

The golden liquid burns as it slides down your throat. You’ve been here an hour, and this is the third shot Jeonghan has passed out. It’s not that you're a light weight, but the amount of alcohol you’re being given will definitely have your judgement feeling cloudy before you know it.

“Cheol, chug your drink and then get on the dance floor with me and Pinky.” Soonyoung pulls you away from Seungcheol before you can even argue with him. You shoved his credit card into your bra to keep it safe.

You aren’t even able to object as he drags you towards the crowded dance floor. Looking back, you find Minghao following behind.

The music is loud, and it’s so crowded you’re pressed against Soonyoung. He turns you around so your back is plastered to his front. It isn’t unusual for you to end up on the dance floor with these two.

Soonyoung rolls his hips with yours to the beat of the music. Looking over, you watch as a random pretty girl has found her way into Minghao’s arms.

You feel Soonyoung release you, and before you can turn around to question him, another body is pressed up to you. A large hand rests on your stomach, rolling your body back against him. There is no way Soonyoung would let a random man dance with you, this has to be one of the boys.

“Do you mind if I take Soonyoung‘s spot?” Seungcheol's husky voice rings in your ear. This is just the man you preferred to be dancing with.

“No.” You say loud enough for him to hear over the loud music.

One hand stays resting on your stomach while the other rests on your hip. His thumb drags over the side of your thong, pressing against the tight fabric of your dress.

You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol in your system or the feeling of Seungcheol's body against yours that makes your head spin.

“Cheol—“ you practically moan, leaning your head back against his shoulder.

“I can see why Soonyoung likes dancing with you.”

Pulling away from him, you turn around, wrapping your arms around his neck. His body is pressed up against yours. You’re straddling his thigh as you move to the beat of the music.

“God, you’re so pretty.” He leans down so his nose is brushing yours. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes—“ the moment the word leaves your mouth, his lips crash into yours. One hand grips your hip while the other rests on your ass, pulling you closer to him. It’s been so long since you had properly kissed anyone. The feeling of his pouty lips against yours is enough to leave you feeling drunk on lust.

Pulling away, he whispered against your lips, “I have wanted you for so long.” Without another word, you lean in, crashing your lips to his. Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him close to you. His strong thigh is between your legs as you grind against him. Your lips fight for dominance, everything around you fading away.

He pulls back and gives you a grin. “I shouldn’t kiss you like this in public.“

“Why is that?”

“Because I can’t keep my hands to myself when we kiss like that.”

Mingyu and Soonyoung walk towards you, pulling you away from your moment. Soonyoung grabs your hand, pulling you away from Seungcheol. “Come on, Hannie got more shots.”

The more shots they’re able to pour in your mouth, the hazier things get. The liquid courage has you thinking with a one track mind. All you can think about is an equally drunk Seungcheol.

Leaning against the wall in the club, Seungcheol has you caged in with his arms on either side of your head.

He’s leaving a sea of kisses across your neck up to your jaw. “We should get married.”

“You’re crazy.”

“I’m just crazy about you.” He peppers your jaw with kisses.

“We can’t get married.”

“Lovebirds, you’re being a little too intense.” Jeonghan teased, pulling Seungcheol away from you.

“You’re just jealous, Hannie.” Seungcheol leans in to kiss you again.

“Come on, loverboy.” He grabs Seungcheol, pulling him away from you.

Leaning against the way you watch as Mingyu pours straight from the bottle into the birthday boy's mouth.

Joshua walks over to you and reaches up, wiping away your smeared lipgloss. “Are you good?” You’ve always been close with him. He’s always one of the first to check on you.

“Yeah. I think I’m gonna leave with Cheol.” There is no way you can just leave this club, go back to your hotel room with Soonyoung, and pretend this never happened.

“Can’t say I’m shocked. Just make sure you use a condom.”

“Shua—” You whine.

“I’m not judging you, just be safe.” He kisses the top of your head before sending Seungcheol back towards you. “I’m serious, use a condom.” He pats Seungcheol on the back.

Pushing yourself off the wall, you walk up to Seungcheol. “Can we please get out of here?” This club feels too crowded, and you just want to be alone with the man you can’t stop kissing.

Hand in hand, he leads you out of the club. He pushes you up against the wall, hidden away from prying eyes. His lips are all over your neck, and his hand is under your tight dress, toying with your thong. It’s taking everything in him to not slide his finger right into your tight core, right out there in the open.

“I want you so bad—” You moan, closing your eyes.

“I will give you anything you could possibly want.”

The last thing you remember is Seungcheol pulling you away from the wall.

˚₊‧꒰ა ⁠♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Bright morning light peaking through the curtains wakes you up. You’re an absolute idiot for not closing the curtains fully, even in your drunken state.

You quite possibly woke up with one of the worst hangovers of your life. The pounding in your head mixed with the feeling of nausea is unbearable. If you manage to survive getting out of bed, you quite possibly might kill Jeonghan for pouring too many shots of tequila down your throat.

Closing your eyes tighter, you move further into the bed. Something blocks you when you've barely nestled under the blankets. It bounces back when you push it aside, and when you finally turn around, you see Seungcheol. A lot of him. Your heart practically jumps out of your chest at the sight of him barely covered by a thin white sheet. That same sheet is doing nothing to hide his morning wood.

You remember kissing Seungcheol at the club while Jeonghan egged you on, and your heated makeout session as he pulled you away from the club. You even remember him putting his hand up your dress. You don’t remember anything that happened in this room, or what led you both to be naked. The dark marks across his neck are a clear indicator more than just innocent sleeping took place. You have reason to believe those marks were left by you.

You pull away from him as quietly as you can. Luckily, you’re in his room, so you could probably sneak out without him noticing. The issue is what happens when you get to your room you share with Soonyoung. You can barely slip away underneath the blankets before he pulls you close.

“Stop trying to run away. Just cuddle with me.” He mumbles, not bothering to open his eyes.

“Seungcheol—”

“Baby, just stay in bed. My head hurts, and cuddling with you will fix it.”

“Baby?” You relax, letting him pull you closer to him. Lying on your side, he pulls your leg up so it’s resting on his stomach. He hasn’t bothered responding to your confusion about your new nickname.

“You’ve never called me baby before.”

“Well, you weren’t my wife before.” You must be hearing things. There is no way he just called you his wife. It feels as if an ice cold bucket of water was poured on you.

“Wife?”

“We got married?”

He knits his brows together. “Pinky, remember I told you I wanna take care of you?"

“I didn’t think you were serious about actually putting a ring on my finger.”

“Speaking of rings. I wanna get you a proper nice ring after I have some caffeine and food, and then possibly give you a reminder about our time in this bed.” He leans over and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Seungcheol—“

“Pinky, before you freak out, just think about the pros of us being married. I can give you a list if you want.” He’s absolutely insane. He can’t actually think randomly getting married in Vegas is a good idea. He has more money in his bank account than you’ll probably ever be worth.

“Why would you actually want to marry me?” You pull away from him.

“I have liked you since college. Long before I saw your cute pink panties. I have more money than I could ever need. I want to take care of you. You work so hard, and I don’t want you to stress about money. I think we’re a good pair. You can’t tell me you don’t have feelings for me.” Seungcheol is laying all his cards out on the table. He’s wanted you for as long as he can remember. This is one shot at trying to fully be with you. Who cares if you skipped a couple major steps and just married you.

“Cheol—“

“Do you not like me?” His face falls a little.

“I obviously like you. If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t have made out with you. It’s just… people are going to assume I’m a gold digger, or you’re my sugar daddy.”

“I can be your sugar daddy if you want me to be.”

“I’m being serious. This whole thing is crazy.”

He sits up. Reaching over, he rested his hand on your cheek. “It might be crazy, but I like you, and I know we could fall in love so easily if you gave us a real shot. We can pretend we’re just dating if you want. But I would prefer we go all in.”

Well, he’s clearly insane, and you might be too because suddenly his idea isn’t sounding so crazy. ”What does all in include?”

He gives you a gummy smile, “you move in with me, and we live as husband and wife. That means we can kiss and do all the things married people do.”

“Cheol, this is crazy.”

“I know, but let’s just see where this goes.”

“Okay—“

“How about we shower and then go get breakfast, and then I’ll get you a nice ring.” He pulls away the covers, revealing his very naked body. He stands up completely unfazed by the fact that he’s naked.

“Shower?”

“Yeah, I need to shower, and you probably want to shower, and I think we should save water and do it together.”

He walks off to the huge en-suite bathroom he has. You never got to fully look around this suite he booked while you were sober. Before going out, he met everyone at Jeonghan and Joshua’s room. This hotel is definitely too expensive for you. But for the boys, this is nothing.

Right now is the time to be brave. Seungcheol told you he wants to stay married and act like a married couple. If he’s your husband, you should have absolutely no issue joining him in the shower.

Walking into the large white and marble bathroom, you’re greeted by the sight of Seungcheol standing behind the glass. Your eyes are drawn to his very large length, that is basically hard.

“Is my wife going to join me?” He turns to his back and is facing you. Your eyes go to his olive tree tattoo. You remember him getting it Anytime you’ve gone to the pool or seen him shirtless you’ve always wanted to trace it.

Walking towards the shower you slide open the door and step inside. This shower is so big it could probably fit five people. The shower head is above you. Seungcheol steps aside, he’s still under the water but it gives you room.

“Can I kiss you again?” He tilts your head up so you’re looking at him.

“Yes.”

The first time his lips touch yours it’s slow, as if he's testing the waters. Your hand rests on his chest. His hand rests on the back of your head, holding you close to him. His lips move against yours as if he needs you to breathe.

“I couldn’t believe it when you actually agreed to marry me.” He says with his lips against yours. “I would have married you years ago if you would have said yes.” He moves you backwards and your back hits the cold tile behind you.

“You didn’t think about maybe just asking me out on a date?” You say between feather light kisses against his lips.

“I have wanted to ask you out since college. There were a few things that complicated it. One being I was worried about our friend group, another one being that I thought Wonwoo liked you.”

He kind of hit the nail on the head with Wonwoo being brought up. Wonwoo didn't necessarily like you, but you had a good five years when you thought you were in love with him. Turns out time heals a broken heart and you let go of your feelings for him long ago. Wonwoo and you are still very close, you just don’t pine after him like you used to.

“Cheol—“

“You don't have to explain anything to me. Just promise me you’ll give us a shot.”

“I’ll give us a shot, but you don’t want you to worry about Wonwoo.”

“I’m not worried about Wonwoo now. I talked to him before we left and he told me not to worry about him.” Why on earth would he ask Wonwoo about what’s going on?

“Why did you talk to him?”

“My only birthday wish was, I was finally going to ask you to be mine. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t stepping on his toes.” He caged you against the shower wall. “This is the perfect way to spend the morning on my birthday.”

Wrapping your around his neck, you pull him closer to you. “Are you really serious about wanting to be married?”

“One hundred percent. Let me take care of you, baby.”

“I could get used to you calling me that.”

He crashed his lips into yours for a searing kiss. No man has ever kissed you quite like he has. The way his lips move against yours it’s almost as if he’s kissing you like he needs you to breathe.

Reaching down you take his already hardened length in your hand. You can’t lie, you're a little ache between your legs from your wedding night that you don’t fully remember. The size of him alone in your hand, you know it’s gonna take a little while for your body to adjust to him.

His nose rests against yours. A low moan passes his lips as you stroke his velvety length.

“How do you like this?”

“Focus on the head.” He groans.

His hand dips down and he starts playing with your clit, before dipping two fingers into your wet core. “Fuck—“ He moans.

“Cheol—“

“I need to get a condom.” He pulls his hands away from you.

Reaching for his hand you stop him from leaving the shower. The idea of feeling him raw right now turns you on even more..

“I’m on birth control.”

He looks at you with a surprised look playing across his face. “Are you sure?”

“I’m clean. It’s been a year since I’ve had sex with anyone other than my own hand or my vibrator.” That’s definitely embarrassing to admit, but if anyone should know this information it should be your husband.

“I’m clean too. I haven’t had sex in like three months.”

“If you want we can go bare.”

“Where do you want me to finish?”

You let out a little chuckle at this question. “Inside?”

“Okay.” He steps towards you again. “Can you turn around baby?”

Your hands are placed on the cold tile, you arched your back. Looking over your shoulder you watch as he pumps his large length. “We’ll go slow. You said our first time I’m in your words, fucking massive.”

“I trust you to take care of me.”

True to his word he ever so slowly pushed into you. As he bottomed out he gave you time to adjust. His hand gently rubbed your back helping you to relax. The stretching feeling slowly starts to dissipate into a feeling of pleasure.

“You can move. Can you play with my clit while you do?”

“Of course.”

His thrusts are slow but deep. He’s hitting places inside of you, you aren’t quite sure another man has ever reached. Reaching around his fingers rub your clit. Pushing your hips back, you meet his thrust. One of his hands grips your hip tightly,leaving finger print shaped bruises in his wake. With each drag of his cock he seems to brush a spot inside of you that has you seeing stars.

“Cheol—“ His name comes out as a broken moan.

“Such a good girl.” You could get used to him speaking to you like that. You’ve never been one for dirty talk or pet names, but with him you can’t seem to get enough of it.

“So big.”

“You’re so tight, it’s like you were made for me.”

Pushing your hips back harder, you’re chasing your release that is getting closer and closer. Squeezing your eyes closed you concentrate on the filling of his hands on your clit.

The dam breaks as a white hot wave hits you. A slur of curse words and his name pour from your lips. Your walls contract around his massive length. Your arms start to give out as you start to fall forward. Without even thinking he grabs your hips keeping you from falling.

“Baby, I’m close.” His thrusts are sloppy as he holds you up. He slams your butt against his pelvis as he fills you to the brim, painting your walls with his milky release.

“Can you put your hands back on the wall?”

Even in your dazed state you listen to his request. Your hands are on the cold title wall holding yourself up.

Slowly he pulls out of you, watching as his cum slowly leaks out. He never necessarily had a creampie kink, but seeing you like this might have changed something inside of him. He’s not sure if he could ever wear a condom with you again, after seeing you like this.

“Fuck that was good.” You mumble resting your cheek against the shower wall.

“I need to clean you up.” He reaches for an unused washcloth hanging on the wall.

After an intense round of shower sex, Seungcheol takes his time washing your body, and washing your hair. Once the water is off he even dries you off before wrapping you in an expensive white fluffy robe.

Seungcheol ordered room service. They quickly brought up coffee and pastries.

Thank god you’re sitting in bed wrapped up in a robe and not still naked. The door opens and Jeonghan barges in. Seungcheol doesn’t seem fazed that he’s practically naked wearing only a towel resting low on his hips.

“Soonyoung said you didn’t come back to the room. I had a feeling this is where I would find you.” The grin Jeonghan is wearing is enough of a sign that he’s enjoying this.

“Jeonghan, why are you here?” Seungcheol turns around and starts going through his suitcase.

“I’m making sure you’re both alive and well. Soonyoung was a little concerned about where his roommate ended up sleeping.”

“Well, you found us and were alive. You and the boys do whatever you want today. I’m going to spend the day with Pinky and go shopping.”

“Dude it’s your birthday, don’t you want to have a birthday dinner?”

He looks over at you. He’s trying to figure out if you want to go to dinner with all the boys. “Sure. Can you book us a reservation in the private room at the sushi place downstairs?”

“Sure.” Jeonghan looks over at you giving you a knowing glance.

“Have fun, lovebirds,” he practically sings walking out.

After finally getting rid of Jeonghan, Seungcheol takes you to your room to get ready. Luckily Soonyoung is nowhere to be seen. You weren’t ready to face any of the other boys quite yet. Dressed in a sundress and a pair of sandals he takes you down to the lobby where he has a car waiting for you.

He’s made the decision to go shopping for rings before eating lunch. Arriving at the Bellagio hotel, he takes you by the hand leading you straight to Tiffany and Co. You quite literally can’t afford anywhere like this before in your life.

The moment you enter the store a sales associate walks up and asks if you need any help.

“We’re here for an engagement ring, and wedding bands for each of us.”

You can’t even say anything. You're just shocked this is even real. Everything in this room is absolutely out of your budget.

You’re immediately led off to a private room. Silently you sit there next to Seungcheol as a bunch of rings are placed in front of you.

“Any specific shape in mind?” The sales lady asked.

“No.” When you dreamed about getting married as a teen you never got to the point of imagining a wedding ring.

“Baby, don’t worry about the price. Just pick what you think is perfect for you.” Seungcheol whispers in your ear.

“Are you getting married soon?” She asked.

“We’re actually already married but I want her to have a proper engagement and wedding ring.”

The amount of sparkling diamonds on the tray in front of you, is worth probably more than you will ever make in your lifetime. Your eyes are instantly drawn to a beautiful teardrop shaped diamond. It’s on the smaller side which is perfect for you.

Picking it up, you slide it on your finger. Instantly you know, this is the ring. Glancing over at Seungcheol you find him intently watching you. “Do you think that’s the one, baby?” Him calling you baby still makes you feel warm and fuzzy.

“If it’s not too much, yes.”

“We’ll take that one, and can we see the wedding bands for her and myself.”

Within moments all the engagement rings are gone and instantly a sea of wedding bands are in front of both of you. Your eyes flash over to a v shaped diamond encrusted ring that would match your tear dropped shaped ring perfectly. Without even thinking you point, the one that caught your eye.

Seungcheol picks it up and slides it onto your finger. He grabs the engagement rings and puts them on with it. Instantly something tells you that this is your ring.

“I think I just watched you light up at the sight of these.”

“They’re beautiful.”

“We’ll take these two.” He says before you can even protest.

“Seungcheol, how much are those?

“I told you it doesn’t matter. You’re my wife and I want to spoil you.”

Seungcheol picks a beautiful platinum wedding band with diamonds scattered around it. When it’s time to check out, you try your hardest not to see the total, but unfortunately you see the total is close to thirty thousand and you instantly feel sick. The idea of him dropping that much money instantly is insane.

Luckily your wedding ring set you picked is perfectly your size. Seungcheol wastes no time putting it on your finger.

After ring shopping he takes you out to brunch at a beautiful restaurant. He’s talking to you all about a business trip coming up and asking if you would be interested in traveling with him for now on. How are you supposed to say no to something like this?

“Cheol, I was thinking maybe we should wait until we tell the boys all about our marriage? and hold off on wearing our rings. I was thinking maybe telling them and Wonwoo all together.” You don’t want one of the boys telling Wonwoo. This is definitely something you should tell him.

“If that’s what you want to do. Would you like me to keep your rings safe until then?”

“Yes please. Maybe tonight I should sleep in my room with Soonyoung so the boys don’t push too much.”

“That’s not a bad idea. I’m saying this now, on the flight home you’re riding next to me. Mingyu can sit with Soonyoung.”

“Okay.”

Seungcheol's entire birthday was spent with you. After lunch you went shopping, where he not only bought himself some clothes, but he also had no issues pulling out his fancy black card to buy you a dress he thought would look beautiful on you.

Heading back to your own hotel room you find Soonyoung getting ready.

“Well, well, well. Look at who finally decided to show up.” He teases you, grabbing his belt off the bed.

“Sorry I was a little preoccupied.”

“Preoccupied by Cheol’s dick?”

Soonyoung has never been one to sugar coat things with you.

“I’m not kissing and telling.”

“I’ve heard he’s pretty big. I’m shocked you’re still walking.”

“Soonyoung, shut up.” You grab a decorative pillow and throw it at him. He quickly dodges it and gives you a huge smile.

“Damn you’re feisty. I thought getting some good dick would make you chill out.”

Oh if only he knew what getting ‘good dick’ had led to.

“I’m going to change my shoes and then we should head downstairs.”

Arriving at the restaurant you show up just as Seungcheol arrives with Jeonghan and Joshua. Minghao and Mingyu arrive shortly after. This sushi restaurant is absolutely gorgeous.

The host leads you back to a private room where you have a private chef. There aren’t any food menus passed around, only a cocktail menu. The chef starts making omakase style sushi for the group.

This is the nicest sushi dinner you have ever had. The boys are having a great time, each with a ton of delicious sushi and drinking. Jeonghan ran off to the bar and paid for a huge bottle of sake. He comes back into the room and starts pouring liquor straight into everyone's mouth.

You’re sitting across from Seungcheol watching him have a great time. Seeing him happy instantly makes you happy.

The moment the check comes, Seungcheol pulls out his black card before anyone could argue. Before the waiter could get out of the room Jeonghan rushes up and swaps the cards.

Jeonghan hands the card back to Seungcheol. “You pay me too much to do my job. This is the least I could do for my best friend.”

The two of them have been best friends since freshman year of college when they were roommates. Jeonghan was there every step of the way of Seungcheol creating his company. It was inevitable that Jeonghan would work for him and make bank alongside him.

The night comes to a close and the group is heading off to the elevators. You and Seungcheol are walking in the back of the pack. He keeps intentionally bumping you, and giving you knowing looks.

He gives you a quick kiss before anyone can see. The way he’s looking at you, gives you butterflies.

Parting ways everyone to head off to their own room, you head off with Soonyoung. You’re getting ready to shower before you get a text.

from cheol 🍒: Goodnight baby

from wifey 💕: Goodnight my husband 💗

˚₊‧꒰ა ⁠♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The last four days after returning home have been an absolute whirlwind. Seungcheol immediately hired people to pack up your things and move you into your now shared penthouse.

As soon as you returned home you had to take a trip to Seungcheol’s bank, so you could be added onto all his accounts. Reluctantly you took all the fancy debit and credit cards he gave you.

This whole situation doesn’t feel real. According to Seungcheol, the black card that is now in your name can be used for anything you want.

Today is the first day things feel slightly normal. You’ve been working all day on a freelance assignment you were able to get. Seungcheol has been at the office all afternoon. You don’t expect him home until just before the boys are coming over for game night. It’s going to take some getting used to living in this huge penthouse.

The door opens and Seungcheol walks in carrying too many designer shopping bags. You instantly know he went on a shopping spree for you.

“Cheol, what did you get?” You close your laptop and look at your husband.

“I got you some new clothes, a purse that I saw because it made me think of you. Some things that are more selfishly for me.”

“What did you get for yourself?” He sets one of the bags on the counter and pulls out some very expensive looking lingerie. You can’t help but smile. “So you saw that and thought of me?”

“Yes. There is also a pretty dress I got for you to wear tonight.”

Something deep down inside of you told you, telling Wonwoo wasn’t going to be easy. Having this game night with the intention of telling the boys about your marriage suddenly feels tacky and wrong.

-

Dressed in a beautiful flowy yellow dress Seungcheol bought you as a gift. You should feel beautiful and happy, but you aren’t. You’re anxious and feel nauseous. It feels weird that Seungcheol had no issue dropping all this money on a designer dress and shoes for you to wear tonight.

Taking a deep breath you walk out of the bathroom and find Seungcheol standing in front of the mirror fixing up his hair. He looks so handsome.

“You look gorgeous.” He says the moment his eyes lock on you through the mirror.

“Thank you for the dress.”

Turning around he steps towards you. His dark eyes slowly travel up and down your body. He looks at you like you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on. “We need to go shopping and get you more dresses like this. You look absolutely breathtaking.”

“You’re just saying that because it makes my boobs look big.” The moment you put this dress on you saw how crazy it made your chest look.

“That's just a bonus, but you look absolutely beautiful.”

He reaches out holding your hand. “If you want to keep our marriage on the down low we can.”

This isn’t a secret you can keep to yourself. You don’t want to lie to your friends about what is going on between you and Seungcheol. If you agreed to stay married that definitely means everyone should know you’re married.

“You and I both know you are going to call me your wife and confuse people sooner rather than later.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“You rarely call me Pinky anymore. You seem to be quite fond of baby and your wife.”

The boys start showing up one by one. Wonwoo comes over pretty early on. You’re chatting in the kitchen together. He’s drinking a beer, while you’re sipping on a glass of wine. Wonwoo is telling you about his work trip. He asked about the Vegas trip. You dance around telling him about what has unfolded between you and Seungcheol.

“How drunk did everyone get it?”

“I don’t even remember everything from Cheol‘s party at the club.”

You don’t think you have ever gotten that drunk in your life. Even at crazy college parties, you never got nearly that drunk.

“Damn. I missed black out drunk Pinky?” Wonwoo lets out a laugh.

“I would prefer I never black out again.”

“I don’t blame you. I wish I could have gone. You all seemed like you had an amazing trip.”

“Wonwoo and Pinky get in here.” Soonyoung yells from the living room.

Game night is already as chaotic as it tends to be. It’s not a game night if Jeonghan isn’t trying to find a way to cheat. Him and Joshua are being absolute menaces like they normally are together. You’re sitting on the couch next to Seungcheol.

Jeonghan is attempting to cheat to win.

“Pinky, you’re just jealous you’re losing like always.”

You know Jeonghan is joking, he’s always loved to tease you. The problem is you can feel how annoyed Seungcheol is.

“Hey, don’t speak to my wife that way.” The moment the word wife leaves his mouth it feels as if all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room.

“Whoa wait, what?” Jeonghan looks extremely confused, along with the rest of the room.

Suddenly the room goes dead silent for what feels like a lifetime. Seungcheol stares at you with wide eyes. Looking past your husband you see Wonwoo standing next to Joshua. The look of confusion on his face morphs into hurt.

“You guys actually got married?”’Jeonghan asked the question clearly the whole room wanted to ask.

“Yeah we got married. We’re fully together now.” Seungcheol says. You’re left sitting there silently in shock.

“We thought you two just got drunk and fucked.” Soonyoung chimes in.

Wonwoo looks at Soonyoung and then walks off towards the kitchen. This is not how you wanted him to find out. Hell this isn’t how you wanted any of them to find out.

“We got married.” Seungcheol squeezes your hand.

“Did you move in here?” Joshua asked.

“Yeah, she moved in.”

“What about your lease?” Joshua is asking the same questions you asked.

“It’s over in four months and Seungcheol is helping me with it.”

Jeonghan barks out a laugh. “You two are actually insane, but for some reason I think this is a good idea.”

Stepping away from Seungcheol, he releases your hand. Walking away from everyone, you head off to the kitchen where you find Wonwoo leaning against the counter.

“Wonwoo—“

“What were you thinking? Pinky you’re smarter than this.”

“We were drunk and it just happened.”

Taking his glasses off he rubs his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh. “Are you guys going to get this annulled?" He puts his glasses back on.

“No, we're going to stay married.”

The look on his face isn’t like anything you’ve ever seen before. He’s never looked this sad or disappointed when he’s with you. “You’re insane, you can’t think this is a good idea. You’ve never even dated each other and now suddenly you’re married.”

Wonwoo is bringing to the surface all the little insecurities you’ve had about being married suddenly.

“I know it’s crazy, but I think this is a good idea. Seungcheol has liked me for a while, and I can’t lie, I've had feelings for him.”

He barks out a laugh. “That’s fucking fantastic. I’m so glad you talked about your feelings. Maybe try dating before just jumping into being married.”

That hurt so much more than you thought it would. Wonwoo’s reaction is worse than you could have imagined.

“Wonwoo, you’re being mean.”

“No, I’m being real. You and Cheol are in some honeymoon lalaland and not realizing this is absolutely insane.”

“We talked about this and we think it’s a good idea.”

The shame that takes over you, knowing that one reason Seungcheol wants to be married to you is so he can support and take care of you.

“I can’t stand here and lie to you, and say this is a good idea.” He pushes himself off the counter. “I’m going to head out.”

“You’re really just going to leave?” Tears brim your eyes as you try your hardest not to cry.

“Yes.”

“Wonwoo why are you acting like this?”

“Because if I would have gone on this trip, none of this would have happened.”

The feeling of an ice cold bucket of water being dumped on you makes the room fall dead silent. Wonwoo stands there looking defeated and tears are now sliding down your cheeks.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s fine, I should leave.” Without saying another word Wonwoo walks out of your new home. He doesn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone, he just leaves. The worst part of it all, is now you’re both hurt and you’re not quite sure you can ever fix things between you.

The tears don’t stop falling. How are you supposed to just walk back out there where all your friends are and act like nothing happened. Leaning against the counter you push away your tears.

Looking up you find Seungcheol walking towards you. “Baby what happened?” He rested his hand on your cheek, wiping away your tears with his thumb.

“Wonwoo said we’re crazy and said we should annul this.” Closing your eyes you try and stop the tears from falling.

“We might be crazy, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting this, from wanting you.”

“I want this.” You lean up towards him. He leans in, resting his nose against yours. “I want you.”

“Don’t let Wonwoo upset you. He’ll come around.”

“I need to stop crying. I don’t need the boys knowing about my fight with Wonwoo.”

He leans in pressing his lips to yours for a gentle kiss. “Mingyu left to go talk to him. He kind of stormed out, but none of the boys will judge you. Just go back out there and act like nothing happened.”

Seungcheol was right, walking back to the living room the remaining boys acted like nothing happened. Soonyoung is more interested in seeing your very expensive ring that Seungcheol bought you in Vegas.

“I can’t believe you were just sharing a room with me pretending you weren’t married.”

“Cut me some slack, we were trying to navigate this.”

Soonyoung nudges your shoulder. “I thought you had seemed happier since the club that night. Now it makes sense. Clearly our beloved Cheol is treating you right in more ways than one.” He raises his eyebrows at you suggestively.

“Soonyoung—“

“Fine, don't have to talk about it. But I want you to know if being married to Seungcheol makes you happy, I fully support you guys.”

The night comes to a close and the boys head out leaving you alone with your husband. Seungcheol finds you in the kitchen drinking a glass of wine. That conversation with Wonwoo was so much harder than you expected it to be.

Seungcheol comes up behind you wrapping his arms around your stomach. He rested his head on your shoulder. “Baby—”

“Cheol?”

“How about we take a bath together and then let me take care of you.”

“Okay.”

Seungcheol en-suite bathroom is double the size of yours in your small one bedroom apartment. There is a standalone large shower, and bathtub that can comfortably fit two people. The bath is filled with vanilla scented water and lots of bubbles. Seungcheol is sitting with his back against the edge and you’re lounging between his legs.

Silently you play with the bubbles in front of you. Seungcheol is focused on you. He can tell how upset you are. He knows your conversation with Wonwoo hurt your feelings. Anyone who knows you, knows how close you and Wonwoo are. He’s pretty sure you and Wonwoo have never even had an argument.

“I like you so much.” He says capturing your attention. His hand rests on your soft stomach, kneading the flesh. His hand dips lower, his finger dips between your folds. Slowly his finger starts toying with your sensitive clit. “Relax and let me take care of you.”

It’s only been a week and somehow Seungcheol knows all the right places to touch to make you fall apart instantly.

Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave. Rolling your head back against his shoulder, you moan loudly. “You’re so good for me.” He whispered against your ear. “Let’s get you out of here and move this to our bed.”

Seungcheol referring to things in his home as yours still feels strange.

Laying on the bed with a sea of expensive high thread cotton sheets surrounding you. Your legs are spread. Your husband is sitting on his knees slowly thrusting into you over and over again.

“You feel so good.” He moans.

His hand rests on your mound. His thumb is rubbing circles on your clit pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

When you’re like this with Seungcheol nothing else seems to matter. You aren’t thinking about your fight with Wonwoo. You aren’t thinking about money. The only thing you can think about is how he’s making you feel.

His pace is slow and deep. Your body is learning to adapt to the sheer size of your husband’s cock.

The closer you get to your orgasm washing over you, the closer you want him. Your reach for him. All you can do is moan his name. Instantly he knows what you want. His body hovers over you, caging you in. Your fingers tangle in his hair holding him close to you. Rolling his hips into you, his pelvis keeps brushing your clit, pushing you closer and closer.

The moment the knot in your stomach snaps you find your release moaning his name like a prayer. His own release follows. Echoing sounds of low moans and broken words pass his lips. He fills you to the brim and stills hovering over you. He doesn’t move, he just leans down and kisses you repeatedly.

“I’m so happy you’re my wife.” He said against your lips.

˚₊‧꒰ა ⁠♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

It’s been three weeks since you last saw Wonwoo. Every time you contemplate texting him and asking him to talk, you end up chickening out.

During this time you have been trying so hard to get used to your new life. Luckily you were finally able to secure a few new writing jobs. Things in your professional life finally seem to be going in the right direction.

Your week days are filled with hanging out in the kitchen in your makeshift office, while Seungcheol goes into work.

Things with your new married life are taking a little bit to get used to. You aren’t quite sure you’ll ever be able to properly comprehend how much money Seungcheol truly makes. The amount of money Seungcheol has no issue dropping on you is absolutely absurd. This whole sharing his bank account situation is still rubbing you the wrong way.

Standing in the grocery store you’re pushing the cart listening to Soonyoung tell you all about his date. After one single date he’s basically already in love with this girl.

At the check out you watch the total slowly go up. Without even thinking you go to grab your own credit card. One that’s for an account not attached to your husband’s.

Before you can tap your card you see Soonyoung give you a look. “Why aren’t you using his credit card?”

“I can pay for myself.”

“I know you can, but you aren’t just buying groceries for yourself now. They’re for him too, and he’s going to be pissed if he realizes you spent your own personal money on him.”

Rolling your eyes, you grab the black metal card Seungcheol gave you. “I hate this. This whole thing makes me feel like he’s my sugar daddy.”

“Pinky, he can’t be your sugar daddy when he’s literally your husband. He wants to support his wife. It’s his job. For the love of god, just let him spend money on you.”

After grocery shopping with Soonyoung you head home and put everything away. The whole time you’re alone with your thoughts you think about reaching out to Wonwoo. It’s eating away at you, that your friendship might be over because of your marriage. Even though you miss Wonwoo, you can’t bring yourself to give up your marriage to make him happy.

Another thing that can’t seem to leave your mind is the whole spending Seungcheol money situation. It doesn’t leave your mind the entire day.

After a long day at work Seungcheol asked if you would go out to dinner with him. Sitting in another expensive restaurant, you look at the menu, your eyes about bulge out of your head at the prices. Looking up at Seungcheol he’s scrolling through his phone.

“Cheol, this place is expensive.”

“It's fine, just order whatever you want.”

The waitress comes back around. Seungcheol orders a bottle of wine and an expensive steak. She turns to you.

“I’ll take the house salad.”

“Is that all?” She takes the menu from your hands.

“Yes.”

Seungcheol hands over his menu and tilts his head at you. “Why did you only order an appetizer salad?”

“I’m not that hungry.”

“Baby, I told you money isn’t an issue.”

“I’m aware, but to me this place is too expensive.”

He opens his mouth to speak and instantly closes it. There is a long beat of silence as you just stare at each other.

“How was work?” You’re trying your hardest to change the subject.

“It was fine. Some clients came in and I had Jeonghan and Mingyu handle it. I was thinking about taking some time off, so we could celebrate being married just the two of us.”

“How long?”

“Maybe a week.”

The waitress comes over with a bottle of wine and silently pours each of you a glass.

“Before you go, can my wife please order the salmon risotto?”

You go to open your mouth and he sends you a look basically letting you know not to complain.

Reaching for the glass of wine, you bite your tongue. You want to tell him to stop spending money on you, but you know this is a fight.

The rest of dinner is quiet. You don’t complain about the money, just sit there making small talk with him. The moment the check comes you blankly stare at the table. You don’t want to know how much the bill is. You know the sound of his metal black card hitting the check book.

He stands up and takes your hand leading you out towards the valet. Seungcheol can tell something is wrong. You might not have been married very long, but you’ve been friends for over a decade. He knows how to read you like an open book. He’s well aware he’s upset you.

Arriving home the elevator ride is just as quiet as the car ride home. Seungcheol knows you need to talk before going to bed.

He goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water while you head off to the bedroom. Walking back into the bedroom he finds you putting on your pajamas.

“Pinky?”

“Yes?” You turn to face him.

“If you’re going to yell at me, can you please do it now?”

A heavy sigh passes your lips. Sitting on the edge of the bed. “Cheol I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to yell at you. I wish you would realize how jarring all of this is for me.” He stands in front of you and silently listens to what you have to say. “I went from struggling to get writing jobs and living from paycheck to paycheck to this. It’s insane you have no problem dropping thousands on me. I’m not used to this luxury lifestyle you live.”

“I make so much money, I’m happy I finally have someone to spend it on.”

“That’s nice, but this whole lifestyle doesn’t feel real to me. It makes me uncomfortable just throwing your card around like it’s nothing. I want you to be my husband, not my sugar daddy.”

“I’ll try and tone it down. Just understand that occasionally I’m going to want to spoil you.”

“We need to find a middle ground.”

“I’ll try to calm down with the money.” He stepped closer to you. Putting his hand under your chin he tilts your head up. He drags his thumb across your bottom lip. “I don’t want to upset you. My goal as your husband is to support you emotionally and to make you happy.”

“You do make me happy. I just need you to understand where I’m coming from.”

“I do.”

Leaning down he presses his lips to yours. You honestly don’t want to fight with him. This conversation could change a lot of things. You hope that he truly understands.

A few days passed and Seungcheol decided to take a week off of work to spend time as a properly married couple. On the first day he asked if you wanted to take a vacation somewhere and you immediately shut that down.

You’re on day three and after taking a trip to the museum and getting lunch, you’re laying on the couch together watching a movie. He just placed an order for your favorite Thai food place.

He’s laying on his back with you resting between his legs. “How do you feel about eventually having a proper wedding?”

You’ve definitely thought about this a few times.

“I’m not opposed to it.”

“It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. I would like to properly marry you in front of our friends and families.”

You want to stay married but it oddly feels too soon to be thinking about this. “Maybe we should wait a little while to plan this.”

“Okay.” He’s a little sad you clearly don't want to do this now, but he’s trying to be understanding.

“When do we have a proper wedding can it not be super expensive?”

“It can be whatever you want it to be. You can have full reign planning it.” He doesn’t care how his wedding looks as long as you’re the one walking down the aisle towards him. He pined after you for years. All he cares about is you’re finally his.

“Is Soonyoung going to be your man of honor?”

You’ve known Soonyoung since you were sixteen. He’s been your best friend ever since. It would be weird if he wasn’t your man of honor.

“Yes. Is your best man Jeonghan?” You lace your fingers with his. Gently squeezing his hand.

“I think he would kill me in my sleep if I picked someone else.”

“He would make me a widow if you hurt his feelings like that.”

“I have to make sure I don’t die on you.” He brings your hands up to his lips and presses a kiss to the top of your hand. “I’m enjoying being home and getting to spend time with you.”

“This has been nice.” You’ve known Seungcheol for a decade, but this feels like you’re getting to know each other on a romantic and more intimate level.

Soon your take out arrives and you spend the evening eating dinner and enjoying each other's company. As night falls you’re tangled up in your sheets. Laying on your stomach with a pillow under your hips. Seungcheol is on his knees straddling your legs. He pushes his hips into yours at a slow and deep pace. This angle has his hitting spots inside of you that have never been reached.

Your fingers grip the sheet. Closing your eyes you moan his name. He’s stretching you out in the best way possible. Leaning down he presses a trail of open mouth kisses across your spine.

“Fuck—“

“You feel so good.” He moans.

Lifting your hips, you push them back slightly to meet his thrust. Sex with your husband is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

“Baby.” His moans are intoxicating.

“I’m— cl-close.” He’s practically made you a rambling mess.

“Cum for me.”

He picks up his pace helping both of you chase your highs. Squeezing your eyes closed your high washes over you like a white hot wave. He gets two more thrust in before he slams his lips into your butt hitting his own high. He feels you to the brim with his milky white release.

Pulling out of you, he watches intently as his release leaks out of you.

Jumping off the bed he cleans up the mess he made before crawling into bed with you. Pulling you close to him your head rests on his chest as he gently rubs your side. It’s not long before sleep finds both of you.

˚₊‧꒰ა ⁠♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You’ve been married for two months and things are finally starting to feel normal. Seungcheol has chilled out after practically throwing money at you.

It’s been a long day for you. You lucked out and found a new writing job that pays well. You’ve spent all day trying to finish as much as possible whileSeungcheol’s been at the office all day. The moment he gets home he immediately finds you in your bedroom working on writing. You’ve made yourself cozy on the bed with your lap desk and a cup of tea.

“Jeonghan is hosting a game night tonight.” He says walking across the bedroom towards you.

You close your laptop, setting it on your nightstand. “Is everyone going to be there?” It’s been a while since your whole friend group has hung out. Things have been a little office since everyone found out about your marriage.

“That’s what I’m being told.”

“Does that include Wonwoo?”

He leans against the dresser and lets out a heavy sigh. He knows that this whole Wonwoo situation is eating away at you. He’s never liked seeing you sad, and knowing that you’re hurt right now makes him want to fix this.

“Probably not.”

“It’s safe to say I ruined our friend group.”

“You didn’t ruin the friend group. You aren’t the only one who is to blame here. He’s not just upset with you.”

“I hate this.”

“Pinky, can I ask you something?” He has a feeling he already knows the answer to this, but it’s going to eat away at him if he doesn’t ask you.

“Yeah?”

“I know Wonwoo liked you, but did you also like him?” His question caught you off guard. What the hell did he mean? Wonwoo liked you too?

“At one point I’m pretty sure I was in love with him, it was one-sided though.” This is the first time you’re admitting out loud you were in love with Wonwoo.

The look on Seungcheol's face hurts. His normal bright eyes have sadness behind him. “Pinky—“ He thought everyone knew Wonwoo was in love with you. “Wonwoo liked you.”

You’re giving him a look he can’t even explain. You look like he just told you the worst news possible. “Oh—“

“It seems half the group knew about your feelings and the other half knew about his. Maybe that’s why so many people were confused about us getting together.”

“Wonwoo liked me?” Suddenly it feels like the glass floor below you shattered. How on earth did you not realize that he liked you back.

“Yeah.”

“ I just feel so confused. I thought when I was in love with him it was one-sided.” Your eyes brim with tears.

“I’m sorry—“ He whispers, watching as your tears slide down your cheek.

“I think I should go.” You push yourself off the bed.

“Pinky—“

“Cheol, I’m confused and I need space.” Walking off to the closet, grab the closest duffle bag you can find.

Closing his eyes he tries his hardest not to cry. Walking over to the bed he sits there silently watching you pack a bag to leave him. Everything is suddenly crumbling and he doesn't know what to say or do to fix it.

When your bag is finally packed you don’t kiss him goodbye. He follows you to the front door. Before you can leave he grabs your hand.

“I’m begging you not to give up on us. I know this is confusing and I’m sorry about everything. Just please give us a chance.”

“I’m going to stay with either Soonyoung or Joshua.” Those are the last words out of your mouth before you walk out of the door.

Game night is essentially canceled. Soonyoung and Joshua rush to meet up with you, so you aren’t alone.

Jeonghan, Minghao, and Mingyu go to the bar with a very upset Seungcheol. The only way he’ll get through the night is if he drinks enough to forget. He knew when you found out about Wonwoo you might take it badly, but he didn’t expect for you to confess you were basically in love with Wonwoo before you got married.

Sitting on Soonyoung’s couch you cry your eyes out telling the boys about what happened. You embarrassingly cry about your missed connection with Wonwoo.

Your mind can’t seem to let go of the thought that you could have been with Wonwoo. You told yourself over a year ago you got over him. You finally moved on and weren’t in love anymore. Why did Seungcheol admitting Wonwoo returned feelings suddenly break your heart? Things with Seungcheol are good, why are you questioning if you should stay married?

Soonyoung holds you close as you cry. “Pinky, I think you should stay here. You and Seungcheol can work this out. But I think you need to figure out what you feel for Wonwoo.”

“Soonyoung is right, I think you need to navigate your feelings for Wonwoo. From what you have said, you were in love with him. Cheol basically gave you emotional whiplash confirming Wonwoo had feelings for you.”

Week one, it feels like a breakup. You find yourself trapped in Soonyoung's guest room at your own volition. You've cried on and off for days. You only leave the room when Soonyoung or Joshua drags you out.

Seungcheol isn't fairing much better. He's found himself at the bottom of a bottle, attempting to drink away his pain. He feels guilty for how everything unfolded between you.

Week three, you're back to working nonstop on writing assignments. You've just thrown yourself into work. You're back to living paycheck to paycheck. You've offered to pay Soonyoung rent for taking up his guest room, but every time he refuses to take any of your money.

This week Seungcheol stopped by Soonyoung's studio to attempt to check on you.

"Cheol why are you here?"

Soonyoung wasn't expecting to see him. Since your "break up" or more so "break" the friend group has been in a state of disarray. Things have seemed to split between everyone. Wonwoo is only speaking to Mingyu. Seungcheol is only seeing Mingyu, Minghao and Jeonghan. You're living with Soonyoung and only seeing him and Joshua. Everyone is aware Jeonghan and Joshua are still seeing each other. The only details Seungcheol has received regarding about you are the things Jeonghan has shared.

"I'm here to see how my wife is doing." Seungcheol sounds like a broken man. He's experienced heartbreak before, but this feels so different.

"Cheol, she's clearly hurt and confused." Soonyoung has done and will do anything to protect you. Even if that means protecting you from the man you've fallen in love with.

"I hate this." Seungcheol sighs, pushing his fingers through his hair.

"Do you think I like this? She's miserable, and clearly you're miserable."

"How is work going for her?" He knows you've gone back to picking up a ton of writing jobs. He's also very aware you haven't been using any of his cards he's given you. He hates that you're going to be struggling to get by again.

"She's always working. She's always on her laptop writing." Soonyoung knows he needs to let Seungcheol know at least some of what is going on with you.

"Are you charging her for rent?"

Soonyoung barks out a bitter laugh. "Fuck you, Cheol. You know I would never ask her for money."

Seungcheol looks down feeling ashamed he even asked. This whole situation is a mess, things feel so tense between him and Soonyoung now. "I'm sorry I asked. I came here to offer you money for taking her in."

Soonyoung rolls his eyes. "Dude she's not a burden. She's fine, she can stay with me as long as she wants."

"God, I just want her back." Seungcheol sighs.

"Yeah, I know Cheol. You just need to give her space. She'll come back to you when she's ready.”

“What if she's never ready?"

"She will be. So give her space."

A month and half in, you still can't kick the aching feeling in your chest. Joshua finally convinced you to have a movie night with him and Soonyoung. You're caught off guard when you find Jeonghan standing in Joshua's kitchen.

"Pinky." Jeonghan smiles the moment he sees you.

"Hannie." Your eyes brim with tears instantly. You've missed him so much.

Jeonghan steps closer to you and pulls you into a hug. You haven’t been seeing all the boys, but you know you've probably destroyed the whole friend group.

Jeonghan releases you and kisses your forehead. "I was tired of you avoiding me. I had to force Shua to let me crash your movie night."

Reaching up you push away your tears that have fallen.

"Pinky, why are you crying?"

"I miss you. I miss what our friend group used to be. I miss—" you want to say your husband's name desperately. You've missed him nonstop since the moment you walked out of your home you had shared.

"We miss you too." He reaches down, brushing away your tears. "He misses you like crazy. He asks me every day if I have heard from you."

Hearing Jeonghan mention Seungcheol makes your chest squeeze. "I miss him too. I'm just still confused."

"That's okay, Pinky."

"Can you tell him I say hi?"

"Of course."

Two months in Seungcheol has reached his breaking point. He's aware his marriage might be over, but even if it is, he wants you to fix things with Wonwoo.

Swallowing his pride he goes to see Wonwoo. He hasn't seen Wonwoo in four months, since that night everyone found out about your marriage. Wonwoo and Mingyu have lived together since college. Mingyu was kind enough to let him know Wonwoo is home.

Knocking on the front door he holds his breath waiting. The door opens, and Wonwoo stares at him looking confused.

"Why are you here?" Wonwoo finally speaks.

"I'm assuming you know Pinky and I are on a break?"

Wonwoo holds the door open and steps aside for Seungcheol to walk in. He walks over and sits on the couch that's placed under the window. Seungcheol sits on the chair across from the couch.

"I know about your break. Mingyu let me know." Wonwoo is just as torn up about your friendship. He's devastated at how things unfolded between the two of you that night. He can still see the way you looked at him.

"That doesn't tell me why you're here Cheol."

"Did Mingyu tell you what happened between us?"

"Nope." He didn't ask any questions. He honestly didn't feel comfortable knowing what happened.

"Well I always knew you were in love with her, but I didn't realize she loved you."

Wonwoo's eyes go wide. He feels like he's been punched in the gut. "What?"

Seungcheol lets out a heavy sigh and runs his hands up and down his face. "I didn't realize you both had feelings for each other and it's clear, Pinky has unresolved feelings for you."

"Cheol, I didn't know."

"I know. If I had known— even though I love her Wonwoo, I don't think I would have made a move on her. I thought you were the only one with feelings for her." His voice is shaky, and he sounds as if he's about to fall apart at any moment.

This whole situation is a god damn mess. "Cheol, she doesn't love me anymore. She wouldn't have married you if she did."

"I keep trying to tell myself that."

Wonwoo takes his glasses off, he sits them down on the couch next to him. He pinches his nose taking a deep breath. "What do you want from this conversation?"

Seungcheol isn't sure why he fully came here. To be honest he just wants you and Wonwoo to fix things between you in one way or another. If he loses you to Wonwoo, it might break his heart, but he'll be okay one day if he knows you're happy.

"I just want you back in Pinky's life. I don't care if she picks you, I just want you to be there for her."

Wonwoo leans forward resting his elbows on his knees. "You really love her don't you."

"Wonwoo, I love her so fucking much."

˚₊‧꒰ა ⁠♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The front door opens and you hear footsteps approaching. Looking up you find Wonwoo standing there. God you’ve missed seeing him.

He sat down at the table across from you. He paused for a moment. “Your husband came and talked to me. I think he’s right. We should talk. I’m sorry about how things ended last time we talked. ”

“What?” Closing your laptop you knit your brows at him.

“He told me that you’re torn up over not talking to me.”

It's been six months since you last saw him, and the sight of him sitting front of you makes you want to cry.

“Wonwoo, this whole thing is a mess.”

“He also told me that he informed you that I was basically in love with you.”

“I had no clue." There is a twisting feeling in your stomach.

“It’s okay, I didn’t realize you felt the same way. I always just assumed you were in love with Cheol.” It's clear you were oblivious to the affection both boys had for you.

“This whole situation is complicated.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Wonwoo, my brain can’t process the fact I’m fucking married and now I’m finding out you were in love with me.”

“Did you still love me when you went to Vegas?” He asks calmly.

“No.”

“Then why does it matter?”

“Because what if we're supposed to be together?”

It’s the what ifs that are now eating you alive.

“But we aren’t, so why does it matter?”

“Why doesn’t it matter?”

“Because you’re literally married, and it’s clear Seungcheol is in love with you. You might not want to admit it, but you love him now.” He reaches out, taking your hand.

“Wonwoo—“

“Do you actually want to be with me? Do you want to give up everything you’ve built with him?”

“No.”

“Then it doesn’t matter what we used to feel.”

“I’m scared of what I have with him. The whole thing has felt like a whirlwind, and we haven’t done anything in the correct order.”

“Don’t be scared. If I didn’t think Seungcheol was good for you, I would have kept pushing for you to end your marriage.”

“It would have been so much easier if we dated first.”

“Then tell him you want to date, before you go back to acting like a married couple. Tell him you need space of your own.”

"Wonwoo."

"Yeah, Pinky?"

"I missed you so much." You can't help but cry.

Wonwoo stands up and walks over to you. He holds his hand out. You grab it as you stand up. Without even thinking you wrap your arms around him holding him close. You cry as he holds you. His large hand runs up and down your back, soothing you.

"Wonwoo how do I fix things with him?"

He pulls away a little. Before leaning anything he leans down and kisses your forehead. "I think it's time you go home to your husband."

˚₊‧꒰ა ⁠♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Soonyoung helps you pack up your stuff and Jeonghan offers to give you a ride to your home you share with Seungcheol. Pulling into the parking garage Jeonghan glances over at you. What if it's been too long and Seungcheol has decided he no longer wants you back.

"Pinky?"

"Huh?"

"Are you nervous?"

"Yeah, I broke his heart leaving. What if he's decided he doesn't want me back?"

Jeonghan reaches over unbuckling your seatbelt. "Don't be dumb Pinky, he clearly still wants you. He wouldn't have sent Wonwoo to you if he didn't."

Taking a deep breath you open the door. Jeonghan walks to the back and grabs your two duffle bags. He helps you carry your stuff into the elevator and walks down the hall to the door of the penthouse.

Standing at the door, you pause, it's been two months, should you knock or just walk in? Jeonghan doesn't let you get lost in your thoughts. He puts in the door code and walks in.

Seungcheol is standing in the kitchen when you enter.

"Cheol, I brought your wife back." Jeonghan can't help but smile.

You awkwardly wave, "hi, Cheol."

"Hi, baby." Him calling you baby instantly makes you smile. Jeonghan takes your back from you and heads off the master bedroom. You and Seungcheol don't say anything for a moment. It's almost as if you're both waiting for your time alone so you can talk.

Jeonghan comes back into the entry way. "I'm going to leave you guys alone. I'm going to go get dinner with Shua."

The front door locks and Seungcheol holds out his hand. Without even thinking you take his hand. He leads you off to the dining room. He pulls out a chair and you sit down. He sits down across from you. This all feels so weird.

You break the screaming silence that has formed between you. "Wonwoo came to see me."

"I know."

"He told me it shouldn't matter that we had a missed connection. I wasn't in love with him when we got married, and even if I'm afraid to admit it, I'm in love with you."

Seungcheol can't help but smile at the fact you're admitting you love him. "You love me?"

"Yeah I do, and because I love you, it shouldn't matter that I missed what could have been between me and Wonwoo."

Seungcheol reaches across the table and laces his fingers with yours. "Pinky, I love you, and I haven't stopped, even while you were gone."

"That's good, because I want to work on our marriage."

He squeezes your hand. "You wanna stay married?"

"Yeah I do."

He can't help it when his eyes brim with tears. When he sent Wonwoo to see you, he had given up all hope that things would stay the same with you two. "I missed you so much, baby."

"I missed you too."

Seungcheol stands up and you do the same. He walks over to you, and pulls you into his chest. Pulling back you look up at him. Without a second thought he crashes his lips into yours for a desperate kiss. He hasn't seen you in months and every part of his body and soul has craved you. He never wants to go even a day without talking to you.

Pulling away a little he smiles down at you. "I have a request."

"What's that baby?" He'll do anything you could possibly ask him to.

"We can still be married, but can we act like we're dating. I feel like we skipped so many steps and I want to experience what it's like to date you."

He gives you a big smile. "We can absolutely do that."

Ten months later you find yourself preparing to walk down the aisle for an official wedding with your husband. Things have gone back to normal with your friend group. This time when you're getting married all your family and friends are here.

Your bridal party consists of Soonyoung as your man of honor. The rest of your bridal party is a mix of Minghao's girlfriend, Joshua, and your cousin. Seungcheol's best man is obviously Jeonghan, he was very serious when he threatened to make you a widow when Seungcheol joked about picking someone else with him. His groomsmen are Mingyu, Minghao, and Wonwoo.

Wonwoo managed to sneak off and met up with you, Soonyoung and Joshua. All three boys doted on you telling you on and on about how beautiful you look.

Walking down the aisle you immediately cry at the sight of Seungcheol waiting for you. Your wedding is everything you've ever dreamed of. It's not some crazy lavish event, it's the perfect wedding for you. The one expensive Seungcheol fought you on, was paying for the dress of your dreams.

Your vows are perfect, Seungcheol lights up as he's told to kiss the bride. Your kiss is dramatic, he dips you, kissing you in a grand fashion. Friends and family cheer applauding.

The reception feels like a blur. It's the perfect party, Seungcheol made a big deal about multiple open bars, and having it in a big venue for all your friends and family to party.

The ceiling above the dance floor is draped in sparkling twinkle lights. The song you picked for your first dance plays. Your arms are wrapped around his neck as you sway to the beat of the music. There isn’t some grand choreo, it’s just the two of you lost in the moment in the middle of the dance floor. All eyes are on you, but the only thing you can focus on is Seungcheol.

"I love you," He says just loud enough for you to say.

"I love you too."

You might have had an untraditional start, but the only thing that matters is you ended up here.

When it came to him, the sun rose and sat in his eyes. In your small existence you had never felt anything close to what you felt for him. You couldn’t see any part of your future that he wasn’t in. He was, and is, quite literally your everything.

You and Joshua met back when you were in high school, and the moment you spoke for the first time something between you just clicked. It was as if everything suddenly fell into place, the moment you met. It was almost as if everything in your life had led up to your meeting. You clearly remember the first time you watched him walk down the hallway towards you. You were the girl who had just moved to town and barely had any friends. Fate had something planned, and your locker was right next to Joshua’s. The first time he met you he shook your hand and introduced himself. You can still remember the electric feeling that ran across your skin as you touched. No one you had ever met was as kind as him. He wore the sweetest smile as he spoke to you. The moment he realized you didn’t have any friends he informed you that you were now friends. From that moment your life seemed to revolve around him.

Sitting in your shared kitchen watching as he stood in front of the coffee pot in nothing but a pair of tiny blue boxer-briefs. When it came to modesty Joshua had zero concept of it when it came to you, he never has. The boy changed in front of you a week into knowing you. He was in your bedroom after school and you were laying on your bed talking to him when he pulled his shirt off and stripped down to his boxers. Your eyes go wide, and your cheeks and the tips of your ears burn bright at the sight of him. You stare for a moment too long and he notices. He gave you that casual smirk that made you melt and asks, “do you like what you see?” You averted your eyes and just shook your head embarrassed. How did he even expect you to respond to that question?

The sound of him humming something brought you out of your day dream. Your eyes stayed locked on his as he poured himself a cup of coffee. His bottom lip is captured between his teeth as he walks towards you. Sitting down across from you, he reaches over and grabs your iPad that is sitting on the table in front of you. You’re supposed to be sending an email for work, but you can’t seem to concentrate much at the moment.

“Sunshine, what are you doing?” he asks, looking at the email. He’s called you sunshine since high school. According to him it’s because you brightened up his life.

“I’m supposed to be working on a project that has a deadline next week, but I can’t seem to stay focused on it.” You can never fully focus when he’s around.

“Is me walking around in my underwear distracting?” he asks, winking. He must find it thrilling to tease you.

Shaking your head you sigh, “you’re always distracting.” Reaching over you grab your iPad back from him. How much you would love to play around with him, you can’t. You actually have a rapidly approaching deadline to meet.

“I like putting on a show for you babe,” he gave you that smirk that he knows makes you melt.

In your whole life you don’t know how you would ever love anyone more than you love Joshua Hong. This man is your everything. He knows how to cheer you up when you are sad, or how to make you laugh when you seem to be taking everything probably too serious. You don’t think anyone on earth knows you better than Joshua, not even your family.

“So, I’m going to run some errands and swing by work, and then I want to take you out to dinner.”

You aren’t sure why he could possibly want to go to dinner, but you never turn down an opportunity to go out with him.

“Okay sounds good to me, I need to go to work for a while, Wonwoo wants me to check out a script he’s reviewing.”

“Tell Wonwoo he better keep his hands off my girl,” he laughs lightly and stands up.

Looking up at him you smile, “oh I’m your girl?” You raise your eyebrow at him.

“You’re always going to be my girl.” He walks towards you, leaning over to press his lips to the top of your head. It’s impossible not to smile as he walks down the hallway away from you.

-&-

Walking into work you find Wonwoo exactly where you always do, sitting at your desk. He’s leaning back in your overpriced chair with his feet up on your desk. His phone is in his hands as he’s smirking at the screen.

“Wonwoo, why are you at my desk, when your perfectly good desk is located in the office next to mine?” Walking over you pick up his boot cover and take it off your clean desk.

“Your office has a better view than mine?” He smirks, sitting his phone down on your desk. This man will quite literally think of any excuse possible to spend time in your office.

Walking over you sit down in the chair across from him. “You do know we have the same view?”

He shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head, “no you have a better view of that tree off to the left.” You can’t help but roll your eyes.

You glare at him and let out a heavy sigh. He gives you his signature smile and you instantly shake your head slowly. “Where is the manuscript Wonwoo?”

Reaching on the ground he held up the thick manuscript and sat it down on your desk with a loud thump. You reach over and pick up the script glancing at it. Wonwoo made a big deal about you coming into the office to check out this manuscript he was tasked with looking over.

“What’s it about?”

You and Wonwoo met in college, he was Joshua’s roommate freshman year. He had no choice but to be friends with you since you and Joshua were together basically every waking moment of the day. Through college you both had the same major so you had a ton of classes together, and then after graduation you both went on to work for the same publishing house.

“You know the same old normal young adult nonsense, but it’s coming from some girl who wrote a bestseller ten years ago and this novel is long awaited. I guess three movie studios are already trying to get rights to it before it's even published,” Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

“Do you think it’s worth being a movie?” you asked, picking up the extremely thick script.

He shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not exactly the target audience, but then again I have read scripts with less plots and the internet loses their goddamn minds over them.”

Looking at the script you read the first page. You couldn’t help but notice that Wonwoo probably wasn’t wrong, it was going to follow the basic formula of young adult novels, but that wasn’t a bad thing. People tend to love those types of books, you were one of them. You can’t even count how many books like this you had bought from bookstores and loved them.

“If you think it will sell well, and especially with people highly anticipating this novel, I would say push it through. If you don't, Mr. Choi might fire your ass.”

He rolls his eyes and reaches over to grab the script back from you.“Alright, I’ll send it through.”

You narrow your eyes staring at him realizing he didn’t actually need your help with this. “Why did you ask for my help, that's a slam dunk script you didn’t need me to tell you that?”

Shrugging his shoulders, he stands up holding the script under his arm, “I don’t know sunshine, I guess I like hearing I’m right about something.”

Your eyes roll so hard you’re scared they might get stuck in the back of your head. Wonwoo’s cockiness is sometimes too much to handle. He walks out of your office sporting that same cocky smile. Walking over you sit down in your chair that Wonwoo had just been sitting in. You look down at your phone to find a text from Joshua.

Joshua 🩵: Hey I’m feeling like having pasta for dinner.

You didn’t understand how a man with the body that he had could possibly eat as much pasta as he does. Joshua's body was as if he was made from stone, and then there was you, a girl with a soft body. You truly are polar opposites.

Sunshine ☀️ : You always want pasta.

Sitting your phone down on your desk you opened up your emails to see if you had any new deadlines to meet. Before you could even click to open a new email from Mr.Choi, Wonwoo walked back into your office.

“Sunshine, are we going out for your birthday tomorrow?” He asks, leaning against the door frame. You haven’t even thought about your birthday. Joshua had brought it up a couple times, but you always brushed him off because you were busy with work stuff. You’ve never been someone who makes a big deal about your birthday. Joshua and Wonwoo make a bigger deal about it then you do.

“I don’t know,” you shrug.

“I'm going to have to plan this with Joshua, aren’t I?”

You glance up at him and glare, “I feel like even if I don’t want to go out, with you two that’s not an option. No matter what I say, you two are going to plan something.”

He smirks and moves so he is no longer leaning against the doorframe. “Basically, I’ll hit Joshua up.”

Shaking your head, you look back down at your phone to see another text from Joshua.

Joshua 🩵: Be home at seven for dinner.

Sunshine ☀️ : Will do.

-&-

Walking into your apartment you find Joshua sitting on the couch waiting for you. His eyes are locked on his phone. These days he’s more glued to his phone than ever.

“Sunshine, you're late.” He holds up his wrist and points to his watch dramatically.

You roll your eyes and place your hands on your hip. “Sorry I arrived three minutes late.”

Before you could say anything else, he stood up and shouts, “three minutes and forty-two seconds late.”

You can’t help but let out a heavy sigh. “alright let’s go then.”

Heading out of the apartment together you walk down the block to your favorite Italian place. You and Joshua have spent many nights eating here and even ordering take out when you’re feeling too lazy to eat out. You sit down and Joshua is already rambling on about which pasta he wants to get. You look at him just getting lost in his words not exactly focusing on what he was saying, but the way his lips were slightly turning up as he spoke.

“What are you getting?” he asks, sitting the menu down.

“Angel hair pasta with vodka sauce,” you say, sitting my menu down. You don’t bother reading the menu, you just pick something you know you’ll like.

The waitress comes over and takes your order. You sit there for a moment before Joshua clears his throat. He gives you a look you can’t quite explain.

“I have something I need to tell you.” He sounds like he’s nervous to say whatever he was about to say.

“What do you need to tell me?” You reach over and rest your hand on his.

“So, I’m going to be a father, Mai is pregnant.”

Your world suddenly starts spinning on its side as your eyes grow wide. The feeling of bile crawling up your throat makes you feel sick. All the color must have drained from your face as Joshua stares at you with a concerned look. Your heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces right in Joshua's hand. In this exact moment you realized Joshua Hong doesn't return your feelings, and he was never going to. Your eyes suddenly want to water as you fought like hell not to cry. Your chest aches.

Joshua and Mai have been dating for a year, he’s head over heels for her. The problem with Mai is she doesn’t like you at all. From the first time she met you she was very clearly extremely jealous of you. Her and Joshua had gotten into a couple big fights over the fact that Joshua lives with you. You can’t lie, you don’t like her at all. You never have and you never will. She’s stuck up and always rude to you. Joshua always asks you what you think of her, and you always tell him the same thing, “my opinions of who you’re dating shouldn’t matter. I just want you to do what makes you happy.”

Joshua happiness was the only thing that matters in your life. You didn’t know why the universe thought it was okay to make you love someone who was never going to love you the same way. Sure, he loves you, he tells you all the time that he loves you. That you’re his girl. But you can love someone and not be in love with them? Joshua was the only man you have ever loved, and you didn’t think you could love anyone the way you love him.

“Sunshine, did you hear me?” he asks, snapping out of your thoughts.

“Yeah congratulations.” You put on the best smile you can muster. You gently squeeze his hand and watch as his eyes light up.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be a father.” The smile he’s wearing would normally warm your heart. Instead it leaves more and more cracks in your fragile chest.

One thing about Joshua that anyone who ever met him knew, was that he can’t wait to be a father. He’s a man who desperately wants a wife and kids. He had mentioned a couple months back to you that he possibly wanted to marry Mai in the next five years. When he said it in all honesty it hurt like hell, but you just brushed it off and tried to forget it. You couldn’t help but wonder when he knocked her up. Your skin crawls at the thought of them conceiving their child while you were in the apartment with them. You hate just thinking about Mai being able to touch him the way you wish you could. The jealousy inside you aches, at the idea of her getting your perfect dream life.

You eat dinner and listen to Joshua ramble on about Mai. Your brain isn’t holding any of the information he’s telling you. You just nod your head and smile, acting like you’re fully invested in the fact that Mai was going to have the life that you have dreamed of having.

Walking back to the apartment Joshua has his arm over your shoulder like he always does. He’s always been overly affectionate with you, even when he’s been in a relationship. People who didn’t actually know your friendship always assumed you were together. It probably had something to do with the lack of personal space you seem to have, and the fact you live together. On any other night or day, you would love having his arm around you as you walk down the street, but right then and there it feels like his hand is in your chest shattering what few pieces were left of your heart.

Opening the door to the apartment, Joshua’s phone started ringing. Looking down he smiled really big, and you can’t help but assume it was Mai calling.

“Do you mind if I take this?” he asks, holding up his phone.

You shake your head. “Go ahead, I’m gonna shower and then head to bed, I have an early day at work tomorrow.”

Walking off to your room closing the door, you take a deep breath and let out a shaking sigh. You’re still attempting to hold back the tears that have been trying to fall all night. You aren’t ready to break down over this. Hell, you don’t ever want to break down over this. You wish you could erase this entire memory from your mind. You need to be stronger. Holding your eyes closed, you fight back the tears that are threatening to fall. You strip away your clothes, tossing them on the floor. At this moment you don’t care about leaving a mess behind. Walking off to the en-suite bathroom completely bare, you turn on the water and don't bother waiting for it to warm up. You just step into the cold water and gasp as it hits your skin. Running your shaky fingers down your wet face as the water starts to warm up. The sob finally breaks through your chest as the tear finally starts to fall. Your body shakes as you sob. Your arms wrap around your body trying to stop the tears. You know you need to just let them out though. You don’t have to hide your feelings while you are alone in the shower. Where the sound of the water falling would hide the sounds of your sobs.

You stay in the shower until you can get yourself together, once you are no longer sobbing. As the tears continued to gently slide down your cheeks. You turn the water off and step out of the shower. Wrapping a towel around your wet body and walking off into your bedroom. Without even bothering to get dressed you crawled into bed still just wrapped in a towel.

Laying in your silent dark room, tears continue to slide down your face, at the fact that your delusional little fairy tale was never going to happen.

The sound of a soft knock on the door causes you to still for a moment.

“Sunshine, did you want to watch a movie?” Joshua asks from the other side of the door.

You open your mouth to speak and yet nothing comes out. You close your eyes deciding to act like you had fallen asleep. You can get out there and just pretend you’re okay.

Another soft knock came through and you hear him, “Sunshine, are you asleep?”

Silently you hold your eyes shut, holding your breath waiting for him to give up. You can’t do it anymore tonight. You’re hurt and heartbroken, even though you feel like you didn’t have a right to be. Joshua wasn’t yours and he was never going to be.

The sound of his footsteps walking away from your room let me know that he’s given up.

Time went by slowly as you lay there staring at the wall. You manage to stop crying for about ten minutes when you hear him knock on your bedroom door softly one more time.

“Sunshine,” he pauses and you hear him take a deep breath. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I love you and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Gnawing on your bottom lip, tears slide down your cheek once more as you hear him open and close the door next to yours. You slowly crawl out of bed, and throw on your pajamas quickly. You go to reach for your door handle. As your fingers graze the cool metal, you think about what you would actually say to him. There is no way you could tell him he broke your heart. He didn’t even realize you love him before. Tonight shouldn’t change it. You dropped your hand and stared at the handle knowing that you owe him an explanation, but you can’t bear to actually ever give it to him. Shaking your head, you step away from the door. Walking back over to your bed, you crawl under the covers.

You don’t actually know how to act like you weren’t heartbroken around him, and it might just kill you to act like you’re completely fine.

-&-

You thought when the sun came up, maybe you would wake up and not want to cry again. Turns out you were extremely wrong, and were a fool to think that. You wake up in the morning feeling still just as heartbroken. Lying in bed you stare at the wall and hear Joshua’s bedroom door open. You held your breath as you heard him step towards your bedroom door. His hand gently knocks on the door.

“Birthday girl, are you awake?”

“Yeah,” you say, speaking to him for the first time since last night. Your voice slightly shook, but you hope he can’t tell that you have been crying.

“Get out of bed lazy, I’m gonna make coffee for you and pancakes.” His voice had a slight gravel to it and you can tell he’s just woken up.

“Okay.” You can’t bring yourself at the moment to say more than one-word answers to him.

You hear his footsteps move down the hallway towards the kitchen and you let out a sigh. Slowly crawling out of bed and walking over to your closet you attempt to find something to wear to work. You knew whatever you wore to work you was going to have to wear out to celebrate your birthday. You knew there was no way that either Joshua or Wonwoo were going to let me get away without going out for your birthday tonight. You get dressed in a cute button up flowy blouse and pair of tight jeans that according to Joshua and Seungkwan make your butt look amazing. Walking into your bathroom to brush your teeth and put some makeup on. You made sure to coat your eyelashes in waterproof mascara because there was no way to hide the fact that you would probably be crying again today. You walk over to your closet and grab your black pointed flats, before walking out of your bedroom.

Stopping at the end hallway before the kitchen you took a deep breath getting ready to face Joshua again. You found him reaching into the fridge grabbing cream for your cups of coffee. He was in his normal breakfast attire of nothing but a tiny pair of boxer-briefs that shows off his body, which looks like it was carved from marble.

He turns and looks at you, giving you a crooked smile, and your heart races. He’s had this same effect on you since you were just teenagers.

“Good morning birthday girl,” he walks over and pulls you into his basically naked body for a tight hug. Leaning down his lips presses to the top of your head. Releasing you he looks down at you as if he was trying to decide what to say. “Sunshine, what happened last night? You went to bed so early.”

Reaching up you scratch the back of your neck and look down at the ground. You don’t want to lie to him, but you can’t really tell him the truth right now. “I was just really tired and didn’t feel well.”

Walking over to the counter where your coffee was located, he turns back to you and asked, “are you feeling better today?”

“A little better, I think I might just have a bug.” It feels weird lying to him.

“Are you going to be able to go out tonight?” He asks, walking over towards you carrying a cup of coffee.

You nod knowing that you couldn’t say you don’t want to go out. “Yeah I can still go out.”

“I was thinking we could all go to Jameson’s Bar tonight.” He smiles as he walks back towards the sink.

“Yeah, it sounds good.” You don’t know what else to say to him right now.

He walks back over holding a plate of pancakes and sets them down in front of you. You watch as he walks over and sits across from you at the table. “I had to make breakfast for the birthday girl.”

You give him a small smile, “thanks Shua.”

You eat your breakfast together and Joshua was talking about random things. You hate that just hearing him get passionate about random things just makes you smile. He’s always said you light up his life, and that’s why he calls you sunshine, but he’s the one who truly always lit up your life.

After eating, you head off to work and Joshua tells you that everyone will be meeting at Jameson’s around seven after he gets off from work with Soonyoung.

Walking into work you find Wonwoo once again sitting at your desk, but this time he was holding flowers for you and he had your favorite latte from the place down the street sitting on your desk. With a kiss on your soft cheek he wishes you happy birthday before heading off to his own office.

Work seems to go by quickly before you know it was already six and you were off from work. Wonwoo heads with you back to your apartment so you can change quickly. He sits in the living room charging his phone for a little while. Mindlessly scrolling through his phone, keeping himself busy.

Walking into the living room he whistles at you. You decide to wear a dress that you don’t normally wear. You just roll your eyes and sit down on the couch next to him.

“Trying to find yourself a man tonight?” He asks, throwing his arm across the back of the blue sofa he’s sitting on.

“Oh god no.” You say, causing him to laugh.

“We got about fifteen minutes until we're supposed to be at the bar. Did you want to get a cab or walk there?” He asks.

“Let’s walk, I need the fresh air.” He stands up slowly.

As you arrive at the bar Soonyoung, Joshua, and Mingyu were already inside with a booth for you. The moment you get to the booth everyone jumps out to wish you a happy birthday.

“Let’s go get a drink,” Wonwoo puts his arm over your shoulder and leads you to the bar.

Standing at the bar, you stare at Wonwoo who was holding out a tequila shot for you. You just shake your head not wanting to take it. You hate taking shots and he knows it.

“I don’t want that Wonwoo.” You shake your head with a disgusted look on your face.

“Sunshine, we both know you have to take it.” He smirks, moving it towards your hand.

“No, you take it.” You push his hand back.

“It’s not my birthday, it’s yours.” He moves the shot towards your face.

Your eyes narrow as you glare at him. “If I get super drunk you better take care of my ass.” You know yourself too well. You and tequila have never and will never be friends. Some of your worst hangovers and life have been because of tequila.

“You know Joshua and I will take care of you.” You flinch slightly at the mention of Joshua’s name. Wonwoo notices immediately, his eyes soften as he gives you a concerned look.

“Are you and Josh okay?” He sits the shot down on the counter.

You nod, lying. You can’t have this conversation with him right now and let alone in a room where Joshua is across the room. Without thinking you reach over and grab the glass holding the gold liquor and quickly take it. Wonwoo grows even more concerned as you sit the glass down on the counter with a clink.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” His strong hand rests on your shoulder as he looks at you with a look of concern.

“Yeah I know Wonwoo, everything is fine.”

Taking a step away from him, you walk over to the booth where Soonyoung and Mingyu were sitting and slide in next to Mingyu.

“What’s the birthday girl drinking?” Soonyoung asks.

“Nothing right now,” You, not wanting to actually drink anymore.

“Well let’s change that,” Soonyoung says before he manages to wave down a waitress. You’re not exactly sure what he ordered but a couple minutes later she arrived back with two shots of that dreaded gold liquor and a glass that looks like cranberry and vodka. Soonyoung hands you the shot and you didn’t even bother telling him no. You just clink your small glasses and take the second shot with him.

As you sipped on your cranberry and vodka, Joshua walks over and slides in next to you in the booth holding what looked to be a cranberry in vodka in one hand. He sits it down in front of you and smiles as he throws his arm over your shoulder pulling you close to him. You try to smile and act like nothing has suddenly changed between you, but it was honestly really hard on your part.

“Drink up, birthday girl,” Joshua says, handing you your already half drink glass that Soonyoung had bought you.

Taking a large drink of the strong vodka and fruit mixture you look up as Wonwoo walks over and sits down next to Soonyoung in the booth. His warm eyes move between you and Joshua as he watches you interact. Bringing the glass back to your lips you chug the rest that was in the first drink. Setting the glasses down, you look up to see Wonwoo still staring at you. You glance up at Joshua to see that he wasn’t even paying attention to you. He’s talking to Soonyoung about something and laughing.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when someone gently kicks your shin and you look across the table at Wonwoo whose eyes are narrowed on you. You mouthed “I’m fine” attempting to get him to leave you alone. Whatever you were feeling at the moment doesn’t need to be shared with anyone, especially with Wonwoo who was really good friends with Joshua.

As the night goes on the alcohol is starting to take effect on you. Your body feels warm and fuzzy as you were now sitting on the other side of the booth sitting next to Wonwoo. Joshua had just left the table to take a phone call, and Soonyoung and Mingyu were on the other side of the bar dancing on the small dance floor with some girls they started talking to.

Reaching for your glass you glance over at Wonwoo who was still staring at you. You’ve been his whole focus tonight. “Wonwoo have you looked at anyone other than me tonight?” You were way past tipsy, but it wasn’t like you hammered or anything.

“What are you not telling me?” He reaches down and rests his hand on your thigh. In all the time you have known Wonwoo, he’s gotten pretty good at reading how you actually feel about a situation. You know you can’t actually hide how you’re feeling from him.

“Wonwoo leave it alone.” You bring the glass up to your lips and take another big gulp.

“What’s going on with you and Joshua?” He raises his eyebrow.

You avoid his question and silently look at the table. You would prefer to avoid this conversation at all cost.

“Every time his name has been mentioned or he touches you, you seem extremely uncomfortable and that is really weird. As long as I have known you, you have always been the happiest around him.”

Holding your eyes close, as you suddenly have the desire to cry. “Shua didn’t do anything.”

He shakes his head as he glances up to see Joshua walking into the bar holding Mai’s hand. Your stomach drops at the sight of them together. Wonwoo gently squeezes your thigh and you look at him to see him staring at you with sad eyes. “You love him don’t you.” The air has been sucked out of the room. You look at Wonwoo on the verge of falling apart all over again.

“You know I do, he’s my best friend.” You try to act like it was casual, that the sight of them together and happy doesn’t make you sick to your stomach.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” He repeats. Wonwoo is a smart man, he see right through your façade.

You drop your head suddenly feeling stupid that you even let yourself have these feelings for him. It was obvious that he didn’t turn them. He never would feel the same way.

“Wonwoo—” You don’t even know how to deny it. It was completely obvious to him. He knows you better than almost anyone other than Joshua.

“He doesn’t know, does he?” Wonwoo’s voice was low as he realized what was going on with you.

You shake your head as you look over at Joshua who was leaning against the bar making out with Mai. “Have you ever told him?”

“No, I couldn’t ever. Our friendship means too much to me, for me to lose him. Also I’m not his type at all. He likes girls that are tiny and pretty like Mai, and not girls like me.”

“He’s an idiot if he doesn’t see what’s right in front of him” He sighs. “You might not think you’re beautiful, but I think you're gorgeous. I always have.” The sides of his mouth turn up into a smile as he stares at you. His words have an instant reaction. You feel your cheeks burn from a mixture of his words and the tequila floating through your veins.

“Did he tell you Mai is pregnant?” You ask softly.

Wonwoo’s eyes go wide with a look of surprise letting you know that Joshua hasn’t told anyone other than you. Of course this was only your cross to bear.

“Yeah he told me last night he’s gonna be a dad, and that broke my heart.” You reach for your drink and take another large gulp of the bitter and fruity mixture.

Before Wonwoo could even respond Joshua and Mai walk over to your booth and sit down across from you.

“Happy birthday,” Mai says, giving you the same fake smile she always seems to give you.

“Thanks.” You give her the best smile you can muster up.

She leans over and grabs Joshua’s face and starts kissing him. You look down at the table and Wonwoo must know how uncomfortable you suddenly feel because he reaches down and laces his fingers with yours. Your eyes move from the table over to Wonwoo. You give him a half smile and he squeezes your hand.

“Why don’t we get you another shot?” Joshua says out of nowhere.

“I’m good.”

“Come on, I’ll take one with you.” He smiles.

“Okay.” You realize then you’re always gonna have a hard time saying no to him.

Joshua orders you two shots of tequila. You look at the shot glass and look up at Joshua, who’s holding his glass towards you. You pick yours up and gently clink your glasses together.

“Happy birthday sunshine.” He says before tossing back the shot.

You all sit at the table talking for about two hours when you let out a loud yawn in your inebriated state. The only thing you want to do is crawl into bed.

“I’m ready for bed.” You let out a sigh, hoping you could go to bed finally.

“How about I take you home.” Wonwoo says, speaking up. You nod, liking the sound of that.

“Baby why don’t you come to my apartment tonight?” Mai asks Joshua, making you want to throw up.

“I have to take care of the birthday girl.” Joshua looks up at you, probably noticing that you were quite drunk.

“Baby, Wonwoo can take care of her,” Mai whines.

“Wonwoo, can you take care of her?” Joshua asks almost as if you aren’t sitting right next to Wonwoo.

“I don’t know if she wants me to take care of her.” Wonwoo looks over at you almost as if he wants to know if you were okay with him taking you home.

“Wonwoo, can you just take me home? I’m not a child, I’m fine once I get inside,” You groan standing up from the booth. You were extremely over being in a small area with Joshua and Mai.

“Yeah I got you.” Wonwoo crawls out of the booth quickly and stands next to you.

Soonyoung and Mingyu walk over together from the dance floor. “You guys heading out?” Mingyu asks.

“Yeah, the birthday girl is tired.” Joshua says as he stands up out of the booth. He walks over and wraps his arms around you pulling you into his chest. He leans down and presses his lips to the top of your head. “Goodnight birthday girl.”

“Goodnight Shua.” You say, pulling away from him.

Soonyoung and Mingyu both walk over and give you a hug goodbye. As the group leaves the bar Wonwoo reaches down and laces his fingers with yours, as he leads you down the street the short distance to yours and Joshua’s apartment.

You don’t talk about anything until you are about a block away from your place. He finally breaks the silence between you. “Do you ever plan on telling him how you feel?”

You shake your head and sigh. “Nope. It’s pointless now.”

Walking inside Wonwoo still holds your hand as you take the elevator up to your floor. Walking into your apartment and you drop his hand and walk straight to your bedroom. Walking into the bathroom that’s connected to your bedroom you drunkenly attempt to wash away your makeup. You smear away your makeup and walk back into your room and find Wonwoo sitting on your bed. You don’t bother saying anything as you take your flats off and crawl into bed next to Wonwoo. Standing up he walks over and presses his lips to your forehead for a lingering kiss.

“Are you okay?” he asks with his face still close to yours.

“No.” You whisper as tears silently start to slide down your cheeks.

“I don’t want to leave you alone.” He says sitting down on the edge of the bed next to you.

“I don’t want to be alone.” You sigh as the tears slowly slide down your cheeks.

He walks over to the other side of the bed and lays down next to you. Without saying a word, you scoot across the bed and cuddle up against him with your head on his chest. You sigh, not even bother trying to hide your tears. The flood gates have been opened and you can't hide your heartbreak. He rubs your side as he holds you while you cry in his arms. You and Wonwoo have cuddled before, but never like this. This seems much more intimate as he comforts you.

“You’re allowed to be hurt.” He whispers.

“I’m such a fool.” You murmur trying to not sob. Your inebriated state is definitely making you even more emotional. If you were sober, you probably wouldn’t be in bed with Wonwoo crying over the fact that Joshua doesn’t love you.

“You aren’t a fool,” he says, leaning down and connecting his lips to the top of your head.

“Can you please just stay with me, right now I just want to feel wanted?” You beg. You must sound pathetic to him, as you lay on him crying about Joshua, and begging him to stay with you.

“Yeah I’ll stay with you,” he says softly as he reaches up and brushes away some of the tears off your cheek.

You’re not sure how long you laid there crying against him. The tears stop right before your eyes grow too heavy to stay awake.

-&-

Your body aches as you wake in the morning. You're surprised you don’t wake up with a killer headache. You glance up to see Wonwoo slowly stirring in bed next to you. You can’t help but notice how pretty he looks when he’s first waking up. His glasses are sitting in the nightstand and his dark hair is slightly disheveled.

“Morning.” Wonwoo yawns as he stretches in bed next to you. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m pretty okay oddly, but I feel like I need to shower.”

“Why don’t I get up and make some coffee while you shower?” You watch as he slowly crawls out of bed.

He was still dressed in his jeans and shirt from yesterday, and you look down to see that you were still in your clothes from the night before as well. Wonwoo walks out of the room and gives you one last smile before shutting the door.

Getting out of bed you strip away your clothes and step into the shower. It was an odd feeling taking a shower while you know Wonwoo is waiting for you in the kitchen.

You’ve been practically single all of your twenties. Sure you’ve gone on a couple dates and even hooked up with a guy who used to work with you. But for the most part you weren’t open to seeing anyone, because of your feelings you have for Joshua. You sure as hell haven’t shared a bed with anyone in an extremely long time. You can’t lie, it felt nice to be held by someone until you went to sleep.

After showering you dress yourself in leggings and a sweater. Walking into the kitchen to find Wonwoo drinking a cup of coffee.

Sitting down at the table across from Wonwoo, you play with the bottom of the sleeves of your sweater. He pushes the second cup of coffee that was sitting next to him towards you. Picking up the cup you brought it up to your lips enjoying the feeling of the warm caffeinated liquid.

“I’m shocked you aren’t hungover,” he says softly.

Shrugging your shoulders. “Maybe crying over a broken heart is the way to counteract a hangover.” You bark out a sarcastic laugh and Wonwoo gives you a sad smile.

“Are you okay?” You knew he was worried about you.

You slowly nod. “I’m going to be fine.”

Before you could say anything, the front door opens and Joshua walks in still in his clothes from the night before. He stops at the table and looks between you and Wonwoo. His brows furrow together as a look of confusion plays across his face. You think he might have noticed that Wonwoo was still wearing his clothes from the night before.

“Did you spend the night Wonwoo?” Joshua says with his eyes narrowing on Wonwoo.

Wonwoo nods and glances at you and then back at Joshua. “Yeah I slept on the couch. I didn't want to leave her alone in the apartment after she had been drinking.”

“Thanks.” Joshua steps towards him and pats him on the back as he walks further into the kitchen. “Sunshine, you’re a lifesaver for making coffee.”

“Wonwoo made it, I took a shower and came out to find fresh coffee.” Joshua looks over at you and you can tell by his look on his face he has a lot of questions.

“Did you guys sleep together?” Joshua boldly asks.

“No Shua.” You respond, technically lying. Technically, you did sleep in the same bed, but you didn’t have sex like clearly Joshua assumes you did.

“Josh she was drunk and I was sober, you and I both know I would never take advantage of her.” Wonwoo’s tone sounds like he’s kind of annoyed. He’s actually annoyed that Joshua would ever think he would take advantage of you in your drunken state.

“I know that, I was just kind of shocked to see you still in your clothes from the night before.” Joshua says as he pours himself a cup of coffee.

“Wonwoo was just being a really good guy taking care of me.” You say speaking up. You don’t like that Joshua is being so nosy about Wonwoo staying over. Especially after he pawned you off Wonwoo last night asking him to take care of you.

Joshua walks over and sits down at the table in between you and Wonwoo. You were all sitting there, drinking coffee and making small talk. Wonwoo stays over for about an hour before he says, he has to head out because he had some stuff at home he had to do. After he left Joshua excuses himself to go take a shower and you relax in the living room looking at a Young Adult script you’d taken home to check out. You read it for about a half hour when Joshua walks into the living room. He has his laptop and sits down on the couch next to you. You were working in comfortable silence for a while when there’s a knock on the door. You thought maybe Soonyoung or Mingyu were coming over. Joshua closes his laptop and jumps up to go answer the door. You look over at the door to see Mai. You quickly look away and roll your eyes, it’s getting to the point you were rarely getting alone time with Joshua anymore. Mai was constantly popping her head in whenever she could, and it was safe to say you hated it. You don’t think she could do anything at this point to actually make you like her.

“If it isn’t the drunk birthday girl.” She practically sings walking into the living room.

“Hey Mai.” You attempt to give her a small smile.

You keep your eyes locked on the script you were reading as you heard them start to make out. Joshua was never the person who would openly make out with someone until he met her. You’re pretty sure she constantly makes out with him to prove to you that he belongs to her.

“I heard Joshua told you that he’s going to be a father.” She rests her hand on her stomach as she sits down on the spot on the couch Joshua had been sitting on.

You nod, praying to yourself that there was some way in hell, you weren’t going to talk to her about her unborn child. “Yeah congrats.”

“With Joshua as the father this baby is going to be beautiful.” She smiles.

You tilt your head and give a pained nod. “Yeah Shua has some great genetics.”

Joshua walks over and sits on the couch next to Mai and wraps his arm around her. He looks over at you and gives you a smile letting you know that he was truly happy. You know it makes you a terrible friend, but that breaks your heart.

“I’m gonna let you guys have some alone time, I have some questions about this script so I’m going to go see Wonwoo.” You quickly stand up. You need any excuse at all to get away from the love birds.

Walking off to your room you found a pair of black flats and your purse. You don’t even bother putting on any makeup. Walking towards the front door you look over at Joshua and find him cuddling up with Mai on the couch.

“Shua I’ll be back later.”

“Okay, sunshine.” He says, not bothering to look back.

Heading outside you hail a cab quickly and head straight to Wonwoo’s apartment. Your hand hits his door rapidly praying that he would answer the door soon. You need to escape from Joshua and Mai. You can’t go back to the apartment and listen to Mai talk about her perfect life with Joshua anymore.

Wonwoo answers the door and gives you a confused look. His eyes travel down to the script you’re holding and he asks, “I thought you didn’t need my help on that script.”

“I lied to Joshua and said I needed your help.” You pause and sigh fighting the urge to cry. “I just needed to escape from Shua and Mai. She came over and was gloating all about how pretty her baby with Joshua was going to be. I know it makes me a terrible person but hearing about her perfect life with Joshua, makes me sick to my stomach.” You know you’re rambling and you probably sound like a crazy person but you need to get all this off your chest.

He doesn’t say anything, he just reaches over and wraps his arms around you, holding you close to him. His hand runs up and down your back as if he was trying to calm you down.

“You aren’t a terrible person, you’re heartbroken. If I was you, I wouldn’t want to hear about it either.”

“How can you turn off feelings for someone?” You asks him as you pull away slightly and look up into his warm eyes.

“Unfortunately, you can’t turn them off, you just try to move on.”

Closing your eyes pushing back the tears that were trying to fall. “I don’t want to feel anything for him anymore. Nobody wants me, why would Joshua want me?” You sound truly pathetic and you know it.

“Hey.” He places his large hand on your cheek, and stares into your eyes with an intense look. “People want you.”

“It doesn’t feel that way.”

Silently he leans forward and connects his lips to yours. His lips feel electric against yours, his strong hand rests on your cheek as your lips move for a moment. Pulling away you both stare at each other almost as if you're in shock of what had just happened.

“I don’t think you realize how beautiful I think you are.” His voice is low as his hand was still resting on your cheek. His thumb glides across your skin gently as he stares at you.

Without another thought you lean up and crash your lips into his. With your eyes held tightly closed, your lips move against his, almost as if you can’t breathe without him. Your fingers latch onto his shirt pulling his body close to yours. At that moment you can’t seem to physically get any closer to him. His lips move from the side of your mouth as he starts kissing your neck. Earning needy moans from you. Pulling away from your skin and he stares at you with lust blown eyes. Butterflies flutter around your stomach. You don’t think in your entire existence had ever had anyone look at you like Wonwoo was right now.

Both your chest are heaving up and down as if you were both trying to stay calm in that moment. You weren’t even sure what was happening right now

Hell you don’t even know what was about to happen. His hand goes under your chin and lifts your head so you are staring right into his lust filled eyes. There’s something so sweet about the fact he’s still wearing his glasses.

“You deserve the world.” His voice is low and filled with need.Without saying anything you reach down for the belt. Your hands were a little shaky as you fumbled with the buckle. His lips leave a wet trail of kisses down the base of your neck, as you unbuckle his pants. The moment his buckle was undone you managed to get the button, and zipper undone on his jeans. His lips gently nip at your skin, and you can’t hold back the moan that falls from your lips. His hand moves down and pushes his way inside your leggings and panties. A moan passes your lips as his finger brushes your sensitive bundle of nerves. Gasping you tilting your head back, as his finger continued to stroke your sensitive core. Without thinking you reach over and you push your hand down the front of his pants and start palming his almost fully hard erection. Pulling his lips away from your skin his eyes locked on yours as you both stare at each other. Lips are parted as you both silently moan. You capture your bottom lip between my teeth moaning as his fingers work on your clit.

“Baby you can finally let go.” His voice is still deep and gravely as he stares at you with a look of hunger.

Desperately you nod your head, unable to say anything. You weren’t even sure if your brain was even able to form words at this moment. All the muscles in your core are getting tighter and tighter with each passing second.

His lips crash against your for another electric kiss, you moan into his mouth as he pushes you over the edge. Your walls pull at nothing as your high washes over you gasping for air into his kiss. You remove your hand from his pants and stare at him pulling your lips away from him.

Your chest is rising and falling as you attempt to come down from your high. Silently he falls to his knees in front of you, and hooks his fingers into the elastic of your leggings. Slowly sliding them down your soft thighs. He hooks his fingers into the elastic of your lavender cheeky undies that you’re wearing. He bites his bottom lip as he stares at your completely exposed bottom half. You can’t even say anything, you just stare at him. His lips move forward and press a gentle kiss to your exposed mound before he stands up. Without a second thought you connect your lips to his for a passionate kiss. You slowly start walking together with your lips still dancing. He only pulls away when you’re about two feet from his large couch that’s in the middle of his living room. He drops down to the couch pulling you with him so you’re straddling his thighs. He reaches into his pocket to pull his wallet out. Flipping it open and pulling out a foil packet.

“We can stop if you want. I’m not pressuring you into doing anything, whatever happens here is your call.” He says holding the foil packet.

“Please let me know what it feels like to be wanted.” You think this is the first thing you have actually said to him since you started this. The whole thing just didn’t feel real to be honest. You’re desperate to feel wanted.

“I have never wanted anything more in the world, then how much I want you right now.” He sighs, pushing his hips up off the couch so he could push his jeans and boxer-briefs down enough to free his erection. You couldn’t help but stare at his hard length for a moment before he slides the rubber down his large length. His cock is a beautiful shade of pink with a vein running underneath that reminds you of his veins that map out his arms.

You sit up on your knees and move closer to him. Connecting your lips to his for a sloppy kiss. Your lips move together as you reach between you to line him up with your entrance. Pulling away, gasping as you slide slowly down his large length. As he bottoms out, you stop moving and stare at him for a long moment. Reaching up you take his face in both of your hands and stare at him for a moment. The whole world feels like it’s stopped moving and the only thing that matters is you and him.

“Make me forget him,” You whisper before sliding up his length. You desperately need him to drown out any thoughts of Joshua from your mind.

Without saying anything he pressed his lips to the side of your neck leaving a trail of wet kisses as your hips moved up and down. You’ve never been the type of girl who liked being on top. You’ve never personally been comfortable in your own skin, and you’ve always felt like being on top would put you on full display. Even though you’re basically fully dressed from the waist up, Wonwoo makes you feel extremely vulnerable in the best way possible.

Your hands are resting on his shoulders as you use his body as leverage to help you move against him. His strong hands reach up to massage my sweater covered breast. Each push and pull of his length is intoxicating. You let out a moan and lean forward resting your forehead against his as you continue to move together. He slowly reaches between you to play with your sensitive bundle of nerves. You gasp at the tight feeling of the coil in your stomach letting you know that your high was growing near.

“I need help,” you whimper, grabbing his hand. You place his hand on your hip and he takes that as his sign to help move your body.

You ride him like your life depends on it. You want him in every way possible. Your lips connect to his neck leaving a trail of wet kisses in your aftermath.

“I’m so close.” He moans against your mouth.

Pulling away from him with eyes wild you’re lost in a sea of lust and desperation. “Wonwoo—” You can’t even think of any other words to say to him.

“I got you baby, just let go.” As you sink down onto his length, you hit your high. Your velvety walls tugged on his length. He moans into your ear sending a shiver down your spine. His hands grip your soft hips to help you move up and down his length. His own release is rapidly approaching. He sinks you down on his length roughly and he curses hitting his own high. You sit there still completely attached as both of you ride out your orgasms. He takes your face in his hands again and connects your lips for a sloppy kiss. The kiss reminds you of when you drunkenly kiss someone and you both use too much tongue, but for some reason this was the most erotic kiss you had ever experienced in your life. You part slightly, he reaches up and pushes your matted hair behind your ear, and he gives you a smile that makes the tips of your ears burn.

“I don’t think I have ever had sex with this much clothing on,” he rasps. You can’t help but smile at the fact that looking up and down, he's basically fully covered. He literally still has his shoes and socks on and was only exposed where he had pushed his jeans about half way down his thighs to free himself. “Literally didn’t even get to fully look at you.”

“Wonwoo what just happened?” You ask, realizing fully what you have just done. Your stomach twists and you can’t help but feel anxious. Up until today you didn’t even realize that Wonwoo would ever even want anything like this with you.

“Hey.” He takes your face in his hands once again, and looks into your eyes. “Don’t freak out on me right now. What just happened was a long time coming on my part.”

You knit your eyebrows together as you stare at him trying to process what just happened. “You’ve wanted that to happen?”

He nods and smiles. “Sunshine, I know you have a lot going on in your mind right now. I fully understand that you are still in love with Joshua, but I need you to know that there are other people in this world that want you.”

“Thank you, Wonwoo.” You say, as he removes his hands from your face.

“I want you to know that you don’t owe me anything, if you want what just happened to be a one-time thing it can. I personally don’t want it to be, but I want you to know whatever happens is all up to you.” He leans forward and presses his lips to your forehead for a gentle kiss. “Did you maybe want to get dressed and we can watch a movie or a tv show on the couch, and maybe cuddle?”

You slowly slide off his softening length. “I would like that.”

Wonwoo stands up and removes the condom, pulling his pants back up. Walking off toward the corner to dispose of it, as you walk over to where Wonwoo had taken off your panties and leggings. You make quick work of getting dressed. Walking over and sitting down on the couch next to Wonwoo. He holds the remote in one hand and has the other arm wrapped around you pulling you close to his side. He flips through Netflix attempting to figure out what to watch. You settled for watching some episodes of a drama he’s been watching.

Spending time like this with Wonwoo feels so natural and you can’t lie he was starting to make you feel things you didn’t think that you would ever feel again. But most importantly he’s making me feel like you are truly wanted.

-&-

Walking back into the apartment you find Joshua sitting on the couch, but he’s luckily alone. Biting your lip, you wonder if you could get away with just walking to your room, and avoid talking to him. You feel like the fact that you just slept with Wonwoo is suddenly weighing down on your shoulders. You and Joshua always told each other everything. You remember the awkward conversation you had with him your freshman year of college when you lost your virginity to Lee Seokmin after a frat party. You remember how your cheeks burned with embarrassment as you told him about what happened. Joshua was also really honest with you too, when he made the mistake and had a one-night stand with a girl whose name he didn’t even know a couple years ago.

Before you can even make the choice, he turns and looks at you and gives you a soft smile.

“Did Wonwoo help you out?”

Without even thinking you blurt out, “I had sex with Wonwoo.”

He stares at you with a look of shock for a moment before knitting his eyebrows together. He lets out an annoyed scoff. For some reason his reaction pisses you off a lot. He has no right to be judgmental of your choices.

He stands up and stays by the couch, just staring at you for a long moment. You aren’t even sure what you should say to him.

“So, has this been a thing for a while with you two?”

Silently you shake your head not even sure how to respond to him. “This is the first time it’s ever happened.”

Joshua shakes his head almost as if he’s ashamed of you. His reaction is making you even more annoyed. He walks across the living room closer to you and asks. “So are you having sex with him because he’s convenient?” His hands are on his hips as he stands there with a look of judgement on his face.

“What the fuck Joshua?” His reaction is truly pissing you off. You can’t believe he even has the nerve to ask you that. “How dare you say that.”

“You can’t blame me for asking, because you have literally never shown any sign of liking him, and suddenly you guys are having sex.” His tone is pointed as he stares at you.

“Joshua, why are you being an asshole right now?” You can’t believe this is actually happening. In all the years you’ve known him, you’ve literally never fought.

“Do you even care about him or are you just using him because he’s there?”

Suddenly something inside you snaps, he absolutely pushes you past your breaking point. You take a step towards him and point your finger into his strong chest. You stare for a moment before you shout, “I hate the fact that I’m in love with you!”

The room suddenly stands still. The tension hits a level it’s never reached for before. He reaches down and grabs your wrist. He opens his mouth to speak, but before he can even try and say anything, you stop him. “I wish I could take back everything I have ever felt for you. Because loving you has never done anything other than break my heart into a million pieces. Right now you’re being a selfish asshole. I haven’t ever said anything about the fact that you and Mai don’t make sense. Hell, I just smile and act like I like her, when all she does is give me backhanded compliments and treat me like shit. Joshua I’m done putting your happiness before my own, when you don’t even care about me or my feelings.” You pull your wrist away from his hand and he just stands there silently taking in everything you had just said to him.

“I didn’t know you loved me,” he whispers.

“Joshua Hong, I have never loved anyone or anything like I love you, and you did nothing but shatter my heart into a million pieces.”

You stand there in the loudest silence you’ve ever experienced just staring at each other. You both said things that were meant to cut deep that neither of you will ever be able to take back. You don’t think you can fix what just unfolded between you.

“I need to move out,” you whisper as tears slide down your cheeks.

He shakes his head. “No, we can fix this.” You stare into his warm eyes and saw the tears starting to brim. “You can’t move out.”

You lost it and you can’t help but sob as you say, “we can’t take back what we just said.” Shaking your head, you walk away from him, walking down the hallway to your room. You hear his footsteps behind you and you shut the bedroom door and lock it. You can’t have him barging into your room and convincing you to stay. You desperately need space from him after what was said. Reaching into your closet you pull out an overnight bag, sitting it on your bed. You start packing clothes when you hear him knock on your door. You can’t talk to him, you don’t want to think about what just happened. The aching in your chest is something you're going to have to get used to. Shaking your head, you try your best to ignore him as you keep packing.

“Sunshine, let me in please, we’re not done.” He begs.

“Joshua, I can’t do this.” You cry, sticking your makeup bag in with everything.

“You’re my best friend, we can fix this.” He pounds on the door as he begs more. By his tone you can tell he’s crying just like you.

Picking up your overnight bag you walk over and lean against the door, resting your ear against the hard wood listening to Joshua’s uneven breathing, as he tries to stop crying. You clench your hand into a fist and gently hit the door.

“I need to leave,” you cry.

“Sunshine, I didn’t mean anything I said tonight.” His voice is a little muffled as he steps away from the door.

Unlocking the door you open it to find Joshua crying leaning against the wall across from your bedroom. He closes his eyes and shakes his head most likely knowing you both ruined everything between you.

“I can’t lose you,” he rasps.

“I need some space.” You continue crying.

You walk down the hallway holding your bag tightly in one hand. You open the front door, looking back you find Joshua standing at the end of the hallway watching you.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, Shua.”

The sky is gloomier than it was earlier. Almost as if the world knows everything is dull, and is heartbroken for you. Hailing a cab you head to the only person you know will tell you everything is going to be okay.

Once again, you knock on Wonwoo’s door rapidly for the second time in the day. Things feel drastically different this time. Earlier you were here because you were annoyed with Joshua, and this time you’re here because he shattered everything you have. As Wonwoo opens the door, he finds you on the other side with tears streaming down your cheeks, biting your bottom lip trying your hardest not to sob. Without saying a word he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest. You couldn’t help the sob that breaks as he rubs your back.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” He asks.

“I told Joshua we slept together and we got into a huge fight.”

He pulls away from you and reaches down to grabbing your overnight bag with one hand and takes your hand with his other hand. He leads you inside, towards the couch. Sitting he pulls you down so you’re sitting next to him. Silently he reaches up and brushes the tears off your cheek.

“Okay, are you guys okay?”

You shake your head, letting out a sigh knowing that things between you and Joshua are never going to be the same. In the mix of your screaming match you confessed you were in love with him, and you were never going to be able to take that back.

“I told him I was in love with him, and I proceeded to tell him I needed space from him. That I needed to move out.” You sigh trying to stop crying somewhat.

Wonwoo still has his hand resting on your cheek and proceeds to gently brush the tears off your cheek with his thumb. Even through his wired framed glasses his eyes are warm, as he stares at you.

“Did you want to stay here?”

You nod unable to say much. He realizes that he probably shouldn’t ask you too much about your and Joshua’s fight. Nobody truly knows what you felt for Joshua other than Wonwoo. He knows that it was going to hurt for you to talk about it.

“I can totally sleep on your couch.” You’ve already inconvenienced him too much, you don’t want to take his bed from him now.

He shakes his head and leans forward, pressing his lips to your forehead. He looks into your sad eyes and say, “my couch is super uncomfortable and my bed is big enough for both of us.”

“Okay.”

“Did you maybe want to get some sleep after the long day you’ve had?” he asks.

You nod as he takes his hand away from your cheek. He stands up and grabs your overnight bag and starts walking across the living room to where his bedroom was. You follow closely behind him as he heads into his room. He sits the overnight bag on the bed and turns to find you standing by the door. It suddenly feels so strange to you that not even four hours ago you and Wonwoo had sex on his living room couch, and now you’re awkwardly in his bedroom asking him to take you in. He knows you well enough to know that you’re overthinking everything. He walks over, and gently tilts your head up with his hand under your chin. Staring at you for a second before saying, “hey nothing has to happen between us if you don’t want it to, but I’m gonna lay all the cards out on the table in front of you and put myself on the line.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. Your stomach twists with nerves. Maybe this is when he finally rejects you, just like Joshua. “I like you a lot, and if you just need someone to hold you and tell you that you’re going to be okay. I can be that guy for you. If you just need a friend right now, I completely understand. I don’t want you to worry about hurting my feelings and thinking that I’m expecting you to have sex with me while you’re staying here.” He pauses again as he gathers his thoughts before continuing.“I want you to know that I have real feelings for you. I like you a lot. I have for a while, but I never acted on my feelings. I’m willing to take anything you’ll give me.”

You stare at him completely caught off guard by everything he had just said to you. “You like me?” you never thought Wonwoo saw you as anything more than a friend.

“Sunshine, I like you a lot. I feel things for you I haven’t felt for many people. I don't want to rush you into anything, but I will give you anything you want.”

You don’t bother responding. You just lean forward and press your lips to his. Pulling away from him, you take his face in both your hands. “I want to give you everything, but you have to be patient with me. I can’t throw myself into this just yet, but I need you right now Wonwoo.” Your voice sounds desperate.

“We can do this slowly baby, I know there’s still a lot of unresolved feelings with Joshua. At some point you’re going to have to sit down and talk to him about the fact you told him you love him.” Wonwoo has always been a smart man. You aren’t shocked he’s saying you need to talk to Joshua, at some point.

You nod knowing that Wonwoo is right. You just need to take this slowly. You need to talk to Joshua, but ultimately you need time. You need a few days away from him, you just need space. He’s consumed so much of your life for so long. You need your own space, maybe now you’ll finally be able to breathe again.

“Can we please go to bed?” You’re exhausted from this entire day. You’ve experienced too much emotional whiplash.

“Yeah, why do you get dressed for bed?”

Stepping away from him, you walk over to your bag and pull out a tank top and a pair of sleep shorts. Walking into the bathroom that’s connected to Wonwoo’s room. You get dressed for bed. Looking into the bathroom mirror you see a sad version of yourself staring back at you. This doesn’t feel like the old version of you that Joshua started calling sunshine in high school. He refused to call you your actual name. To the point even Wonwoo too this day calls you sunshine. You hate that your eyes are filled with sadness. You don’t want to feel this way anymore. You wanna feel loved, and happy. Walking back into the bedroom, you put your bra in the duffle bag before you crawl under the covers to join Wonwoo in bed. You could see his naked torso, letting you know he was probably only sleeping in his boxers. Laying on your side you look over at Wonwoo. He’s laying on his back looking over at you. He’s no longer wearing his glasses, he has them sitting on his nightstand. You study his face for a moment taking in his beautiful features. You don’t understand why a man as beautiful as Wonwoo would want to be with someone who looks like you.

“If we’re going to share a bed can we possibly cuddle?” Wonwoo asks, earning a smile. Silently you roll over letting him know you want him to spoon you. The bed shifts behind you, and suddenly you feel his strong arms pulling you close to his body. One hand rests on your soft stomach holding you close. You feel him place his lips on your bare shoulder and you can’t help the shiver that goes down your spine.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” You softly, as you close your eyes.

With his lips still ghosting your bare skin he leaves a few gentle kisses. “I’m always going to take care of you.”

-&-

The morning light shines through the curtains and you're awoken to soft sunlight in your face, and the feeling of something hard poking your back. As your eyes open, you're able to process what was poking you in the back. You let out a yawn and stretch your stiff body, accidentally brushing your butt against Wonwoo’s morning wood. A soft moan passes his lips letting you know he enjoys the feeling. You feel slightly embarrassed, you aren’t even exactly sure why.

“Good morning.” His voice is raspy, still filled with sleep.

“Morning.” You roll over, so you’re facing him. You accidentally brushed his wood again, but instead of a moan passing his lips his eyes went wide with embarrassment.

“That’s embarrassing to wake up with.” He rolls away from you covering his erection

You tilt your head to the side wondering why he’s so embarrassed by it. "Don't most men wake up with that same problem?”

He nods his head as he quickly crawls out of bed. “I need to shower.”

You sit there in bed very confused on why he’s acting so weird. You listen as he starts the shower. Listening for the sound of him opening and closing the sliding door. You knew you agreed to take this slow, there is a burst of confidence you get. Suddenly you feel the urge to let him know that even though you’re taking it slow with the whole feeling thing, it doesn't mean sex is off the table.

Crawling out of bed and strip away your clothes, walking into the steam filled bathroom quietly. You hear Wonwoo moan, letting you know that he was trying to take care of his morning problem. Sliding back the door you step into the shower. He turns and looks at you with a look of surprise. His cheeks burn bright red as he stares at you with his mouth open.

“I know we agreed to take things slow, but that doesn’t mean sex is off the table, right?” You ask, feeling suddenly shy.

“I mean it’s all up to, we’re doing everything at your pace.” His hand is still holding his erection as he stares at you with an embarrassed look.

“Okay, why don’t I help you with that then?” You’re trying to be bold.

He nods his head with a shocked look. You step towards him, he removes his hand. Your hand wraps around his thick length, your fingers rub the vein that runs along the underside. Gently you start stroking him, earning a raspy moan. You stare at him biting your lip. Watching him in his blissed out state is turning you on. You push your thighs together attempting to hide your arousal as you pump his length.

Suddenly you feel Wonwoo’s strong hand dip between your folds. He starts stroking your sensitive bundle of nerves, you can’t help the loud moan that passes your lips. You stand there under the water attempting to get the other off for a few moments, before Wonwoo pulls his hand away. “I need to feel you. I don’t want to come on your hand.

You nod breathlessly. The thought of having sex with Wonwoo in the shower turns you on even more.

“I need to get a condom,” he steps away from you, removing your hand from his cock.

You shake your head and reach down and grab his hand. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean if you are.”

“I have never had sex without a condom.” He stares at you with wide eyes.

Reaching out you brush his wet hair away from his forehead. “Okay I trust you,” you whisper. Leaning over you connect your lips to his for a searing kiss. He places both his hands on your hips and turns both of you so your back is against the cold tile wall. Pulling his lips away from yours he reaches down, taking one of your legs, and hiking it up. He reaches between you, lining himself up with your wet entrance. He gives you a smile before sliding into you ever so slowly. He’s completely still in you, he leans forward resting his forehead against yours. Closing your eyes, enjoying the feeling of him stretching you slowly. As his hips start moving at a slow pace, he holds your thigh up tightly as your hand clings to his back, holding onto him for dear life as thrust in and out of you. Your head rolls back against the tile wall. Wonwoo’s lips were all over your wet skin kissing anywhere he could possibly reach. You can’t help the loud moans that keep passing your lips. The echoing sounds of moans, and wet skin slapping fills the room.

“Wonwoo—“ You practically cry his name.

His thrusts are growing faster and sloppier than your time on the couch. His hands grip your skin like a man desperately trying to find his release. The echoing sounds of his pants, and groans are intoxicating.

You can’t help but whine as he thrust in and out of you over and over. His hard length rubbing just the right spot in your velvety walls.

“Oh- my- right there,” you ramble on practically on the edge.

“I got you baby, let go.” He encourages with his lips still on your wet skin.

With his sweet words you let go falling over the edge, as your high takes over. Wonwoo gets a few more thrust before he finds his release, filling to the brim with his milky release. Neither of you move for a minute. He leans forward giving you a sweet kiss on your forehead. He slides his softening length out of you and drops your leg gently. Wrapping his arms around your torso holding you up as you both ride out your highs. Leaning forwards his head is resting against the title wall behind you.

“That was amazing.” He sounds completely out of breath.

You can’t even say anything. You just mindlessly nod and smile.

After a few minutes he releases you and reaches over to grab a washcloth. Letting the warm water cover it before he reaches down to your sensitive folds. He takes his time gently cleaning the mess he’s made between your legs. He leans over and gives you a gentle kiss.

“Maybe we should just relax and watch movies today, since we both have work tomorrow.” Reaching over he turns the water off.

“I like that idea.” You say as he steps out of the shower grabbing a towel for each of you.

“Wonwoo thank you for taking care of me, and understanding that I want more, but I’m trying to figure out what’s going on in my head.”

He steps towards you with a towel wrapped around his waist and says, “hey I don’t want us having sex to freak you out okay. Like we’re good, we’re still going slow with all the emotions and stuff.”

“Okay.”

-&-

It’s been a week since you and Joshua had your fight. This is by far the longest you have ever gone without speaking. There have been a handful of times you’ve wondered if you should cave, and reach out to him. The thing is, you honestly weren’t ready. Wonwoo has managed to keep your mind off everything when you’re alone at his place. You were having sex quite often, but sex with him was very different then any other man you have been with. With Wonwoo everything you did together was extremely intimate. You’ve never slept with anyone who seems to worship you quite like Wonwoo does. There were a few nights where you would just lay in bed and he would just kiss his way across your whole body, and would whisper words of praise. You have never in your life felt as confident as you do when you’re with Wonwoo. You used to hate wearing a swimsuit in front of people, let alone being naked in front of them. In the last week you've had no problem walking across the house naked in front of Wonwoo. Most nights you don’t even bother putting on pajamas, and if you did put them on, he would quickly remove them.

Sitting at your desk at work you look up to the sound of your office door opening. Wonwoo walks in holding what looks to be an iced latte in his hand. He sits down across from you, places the coffee down in front of a script you were reading.

“How is your day going?” he asks, giving you his signature smile.

You shrug.“Okay, I’m checking out a new script.”

“I brought you an ice vanilla latte.”

You reach over, grabbing the cup, bringing the straw up to your lips and taking a sip. You could feel Wonwoo’s eyes burning a hole in you, as you drink the coffee.

“What’s on your mind Wonwoo?” You sit the coffee down and look at him. You could tell just by the way he was looking at you, that he has something he needs to tell you.

He looks extremely conflicted as he opens his mouth to speak. “I ran into Joshua.”

At the mention of Joshua’s name your heart drops. Since you’ve been basically living with Wonwoo, he hasn’t even mentioned Joshua once. You’re pretty sure you might have ruined their friendship. You can’t lie, you feel pretty guilty about that. You never actually meant to come between them.

“How did that go?” You ask worriedly.

“He’s not doing so great, and he asked about you.”

You let out a heavy sigh, “Wonwoo I’m sorry I ruined your guys friendship.”

He reaches across the desk and takes your hand. “Hey, Joshua and I are okay. He’s going through a lot at the moment, and honestly, he needs his best friend. You guys should probably talk today.”

You push your eyebrows together. You can help but suddenly worry about Joshua. “Is he okay?”

He nods and squeezes your hand.“Yeah he just needs to fix things with his best friend.”

“Wonwoo—“ You’re suddenly worried that if you go and see Joshua this could mess up whatever was going on with you and Wonwoo. “If I see him it’s not changing anything between us, right?”

He shakes his head. “Baby, we’re still good, and you can still keep staying with me too. You and Joshua just need to make up.” He stands up and walks over, leaning down he connects his lips to yours for a soft kiss. “We’re good, we can still keep things going between us.”

“Okay, I’ll go see him after work.”

As your work day goes on it feels like it’s going incredibly slow. Maybe it’s because you’re anxious and nervous to actually see Joshua. You’ve thought it over quite a bit what you’re planning on saying to him. You know deep down inside the second you see him it was all going to fade away. There’s a lot that still left unsaid between you after that ugly fight, and you still need to talk. You just can’t help but be scared.

Wonwoo kept checking on you throughout the day. He’s just as nervous for you to talk with Joshua. As your work day is finally coming to a close, he walks into your office and stands on the other side of your desk. His hands are shoved into his jean’s pockets. A worried look is painted on his face. You thought he said everything between you was going to be fine. You think he was also worried that this conversation with Joshua could change things.

“If you need me or anything don’t think twice about calling me.”

“Wonwoo, whatever happens just know I still want what’s between us.” You need him to know that he is still important to you. That whatever was about to be said between you and Joshua won’t change anything.

“I know, baby.” He walks over and gives you a gentle kiss. Reaching down he laced his fingers with your leading you out of the office.

-&-

Walking into your apartment you share with Joshua you find him at the kitchen table with his laptop in front of him. He looks up at you with wide eyes, and closes his laptop.

“Wonwoo said you guys talked today, and he said you needed me.” You say softly, still unsure if this is too soon for you to be making up.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, standing up. He walks over towards you and stands about two feet away from you. “Did he tell you what’s up?”

You shake your head, you have literally no clue what was going on with Joshua.

“So, Mai wasn’t actually pregnant. I guess it’s common for pregnancy tests to have false positives.” He sounds so sad and he can’t even look at you, his eyes are locked on his feet.

Your heart suddenly hurt for him, Joshua has always wanted to be a father. Your chest aches for him. He got his hopes up for no reason.

“Oh, Joshua, I'm so sorry.”

He shook his head. “So when Mai told me we kind of got into a huge fight over you. She basically told me our friendship isn’t healthy. She basically told me I had to pick her or you—” He pauses and looks up at you with wide eyes. Your stomach drops because you’re worried he’s about to tell you that he picked Mai over you. “Mai and I are done. Even when I felt like I might have fucked up so badly that I lost you forever. I still couldn’t risk it and not pick you.”

Your eyes start watering as you stare at him. You’re just at a complete loss for words. You don’t even know what you should say to him right now.

“Sunshine, I can’t ever take back what I said that day, I wish I fucking could. I also wish I could have opened my eyes and realized you were right in front of me all along. You are my everything and I'm sorry Mai was always such a bitch to you.”

You bite your bottom lip staring at him, wondering what you should even say to him. “I didn’t start what I have with Wonwoo because he was convenient.” You suddenly feel the need to defend yourself when it comes to Wonwoo.

“I just didn’t like the idea of Wonwoo taking my place.” He sighs. “Especially after you said you were in love with me. I might be a selfish asshole for thinking this, but I didn’t want you to have the same feelings for Wonwoo.”

You look down at the ground and sigh. “Do you know how much it hurts to be in love with you, and watch you just date random girls and then just suddenly get into a serious relationship with Mai?”

He shakes his head and takes a step closer to you.“I didn’t see what was right in front of me, but it seems like Wonwoo wasn’t blind.”

You take a step forward and rest your hand on his cheek and stare into his warm eyes. “I didn’t choose to love you and to be honest everything would have been so much easier if I didn’t love you. I kind of wish I could go back in time and tell myself not to fall in love with you. We wouldn’t be right here if I didn’t. Everything would have been so much simpler.”

His eyes start to brim with tears as his eyes stay locked on yours. “Was I that hard to love?”

“You were too perfect to love. I was a fool to think that someone like you would ever love someone like me. Loving you has hurt me more than anything in the world, and I need to try to get over those feelings.”

He winces at your harsh words about yourself. Reaching up he rests his hand on top of yours that was still resting on his cheek.“I love you sunshine.”

Tears start to fall down your cheek as you whisper, “but it’s not the same.”

“I used to not be able to see my life without you in it. Like you’re my everything, and I dreamed of being able to kiss you whenever I wanted and hear you tell me you loved me. But it was all just a dream for me. It was never meant to actually happen.”

You reach up with your free hand and wipe away your tears. “This fucking suck, so much.”

“Do we ever come back from this?” He asks with his voice sounding shaking. “Because I can’t imagine my life where you aren’t my best friend. You might not ever believe me, but you’re my everything. You’re my best friend sunshine, and my life doesn’t make sense without you.” His own tears slowly start falling.

“Joshua.” You sigh, because you can’t just say yes, because you aren’t exactly sure. You were still completely heartbroken by him. You drop your hand from his cheek and just stare at him.

“What if we gave us a shot?” His voice is desperate as he reaches up and takes your face in both his hands. Those are the words you have dreamed of hearing since high school, but right now you don’t want to hear him ask that.

You shake your head as he holds your face as if he’s desperately holding on to you. “We can't do that.”

He takes a deep breath and swallows before leaning forward and resting his forehead against yours. The tears just continue to slide down your cheek. “You have Wonwoo now.” He says sadly, pulling away, still holding your face.

“I really care for him a lot.” You whisper. “He’s really special to me, and he’s been there for me. I think he could be the one who puts my heart back together.”

He closes his eyes and shakes his head, “I lost you, before I even had a chance to have you.”

“I think we lost each other.” You whisper. “Some things just aren’t meant to be.”

“Can I please kiss you?” he pleads as tears sliding down his cheek.

You know you should say no, that if you kiss this was just going to make everything so much worse. But you honestly needed to know if there is a spark between you.

“Yeah,” you say barely above a whisper.

Joshua connects his lips to yours for a searing kiss. Your lips move together with a sense of desperation, as he holds your face in his hands. You reach forward grabbing his dress shirt pulling your bodies closer. You cling to him as if, if you let go you would drift apart forever. His touch is electric as your lips move together, it’s a kiss filled with hunger and desperation. Your lips part for a moment for you to both breathe before Joshua continues to kiss you as if he needs you to be the oxygen in his lungs.

You finally part, your hands still holding onto his dress shirt as his forehead rests against yours. “Are we going to be okay one day?”

“Hopefully,” you whisper and take a slow breath. “I really want us to be able to be okay, because I’m still going to need my best friend.”

He pulls away from you and takes a step back and nodded his head. “Are you going to move back in?”

You nod knowing that step number one to fixing everything was probably you moving back home. “Yeah, I’ll come back tomorrow.”

“Okay good, it’s lonely in this apartment.” He gives you a sad smile.

You lean forward and press your lips to his cheek for a gentle kiss. You take a step away from him and reach for the door. “Hey Joshua?”

“Yeah, sunshine?”

“Are you and Wonwoo going to be okay?”

He nods. “Yeah we talked today, and he told me I can’t lay claims on someone I was too blind to see. Honestly he’s right. Wonwoo and I are going to be okay. You didn’t get between us. I was the one who messed up.” He sighs.

“Okay, I’ll be home tomorrow.”

You walk the mile to Wonwoo’s place needing to get fresh air and clear your head. You have a lot you need to tell Wonwoo. You aren’t even sure how he was going to take the fact that you and Joshua kissed, but after what just happened you feel free. That the weight on your shoulders has finally been lifted.

Walking down the hall of Wonwoo’s apartment building, you reach into your pocket and pull out the spare key that Wonwoo gave you. Walking inside to find him cooking dinner in the kitchen. He turns to look at you when he hears the front door open and close.

“You okay?” He asks, turning the burner off as you walk into the kitchen.

You nod, walking over and wrapping your arms around his strong torso. A sense of comfort washes over you as he holds you. “That was hard.” Pulling away you look up at him feeling guilty about your kiss with Joshua. You take a deep breath before saying, “Shua and I kissed.”

He shrugs his shoulders.“You guys had a lot of emotions and a lot that needed to be said. I’m not surprised at all.”

“I’m sorry,” You shake your head just feeling terrible that you let this happen. You were stupid for kissing him.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. So, is this now over between us?” He asks sadly.

You narrow your eyes on him and knit your eyebrows together. “Wonwoo, he asked me if the two of us could try being together, and I said no—” You pause and he stares at you with a confused look. “Wonwoo, I don’t know what we are exactly, but I picked this. I want whatever we have.”

Without saying a word, he leans forward and presses his lips to yours for a passionate kiss. He pulls away and he takes a step back.

“I think we kissed to see what we could have been, but I don’t want that anymore. Three weeks ago, it would have been a dream to have Joshua tell me he wants to give us a shot, but now I have you—” You pause and give him a smile. “Wonwoo what we have is real and I think it’s going to be better than whatever I thought I could be with him. You saw me when I didn’t think I was worth seeing.”

He takes a step toward you and presses his lips to your forehead earning a smile from you. “Just so you know, I have seen you since that first moment you walked into my dorm with Joshua for the first time. When you were wearing that mustard colored dress, and your hair was messy from the rain.”

Your heart races at the fact that he remembers meeting you for the first time. “You remember that?”

“Yeah because I remember thinking, oh great I’m attracted to my new roommate’s girlfriend, and then I found out you were his best friend, and he was even more protective of you then I could have imagined.”

“Jeon Wonwoo you are a dream.” You smile, reaching down and lacing your fingers with his.

“I would rather be real for you.” He says softly. “So, are you moving back into the apartment with Joshua?”

“I’m going back tomorrow.”

“Okay so that means I’m going to enjoy every minute of having you in my bed tonight.” He says with a low tone. Your cheeks suddenly burn at the thought of all the things you are going to do.

“I was also thinking that maybe as my boyfriend you could have sleepovers at my apartment.” You suddenly feel nervous that maybe he would reject the idea of immediately labeling things.

“As your boyfriend I like the idea of us having sleepovers.” He smirks.

Wonwoo cooks you dinner as you look through some emails. The moment the clock struck nine Wonwoo told you it was bedtime, it’s clear he can’t wait to have you naked in his bed.

Standing at the foot of the bed, Wonwoo starts slowly stripping away your clothes. The moment you’re both naked, he has you lying on your back, with him lying next to you kissing your breast slowly. Your eyes are closed enjoying the feeling of his lips on your skin. His hand moves to dip down into your folds. You can’t help but moan as his thumb stroked your clit while two fingers slowly pumped in and out of you.

“Wonwoo, I’m close.” You whine knowing that it wasn’t going to take much to push you over the edge.

He moves his lips up the base of your neck kissing his way up. With his lips brushing your ear he whispers, “let go for me.” His low tone sends a shiver down your spine. Your orgasm hits you hard. Your walls clench around his fingers as he continues to work them slowly. Removing his fingers, he looks over at you and smirks.“You are literally the prettiest thing I have ever seen,” he whispers with his lips still brushing your ear. He moves onto his knees resting between your open thighs and gives himself a few pumps. The sight of him touching himself while he watches you is absolutely intoxicating. He runs his length between your folds, earning a gasp as his tip nudges your clit. He hovers over you, connecting his lips to yours for a passionate kiss. He starts out thrusting slow and deep. Your fingers claw at his back, almost begging for more.

“Wonwoo—”

“What do you want, baby?” He asks with his lips ghosting yours.

“Faster please?” You beg, for more.

“Okay anything for you baby.” He connects his lips to yours for a rough kiss as he picks up the pace.

It doesn’t take long for him to push you over the edge again, he follows right behind you, a few thrust later.

Lying in bed your naked bodies are intertwined as your head rests on his strong chest. His hand rubs your side. You can’t lie, you’re going to miss sharing a bed with him every night and being able to sleep naked in his arms.

“We might have to be quieter with Joshua being in the room next to me.” You say with a soft laugh.

“I think we can work on that.” He leans down and presses his lips to your forehead. “Can I maybe take you out on a proper date on Friday after work? I mean since I am your boyfriend.”

You realize since you had started this whole thing, you hadn’t ever gone on a date or anything like that. “I guess my boyfriend can take me out on a date on Friday.” You cuddle up closer to him, knowing this is exactly where you belong.

The week crushes you with its merciless press of deadlines and demands that leave you feeling like a roadkill. By Friday, you're a hollowed-out shell and want nothing else but get obliviated with a few drinks. However, the idea of calling your friends to join you, of having to narrate the same soul-crushing story again, makes your skin crawl. You love them, but you simply cannot handle anyone else's shit on top of your own.

So you go alone.

The bar is a dim, humming sanctuary. You stake your claim on a bar stool, ordering the first cocktail with a gesture that hopefully reads as 'leave me the hell alone'. It's the second one, deceptively sweet on your tongue, that finally starts to loosen the knots in your shoulders. You're deep in the pleasant, buzzing void when a presence materializes beside you.

"Is this seat taken?"

The voice is low, a soft rumble that cuts through your haze. Two cocktails in, you couldn't give a shit. You shake your head without granting him a glance. In your periphery, you see him settle onto the stool, the movement easy. He orders a whiskey, neat. The clink of the glass as the bartender sets it down is unnaturally loud.

Of course, he talks. "Rough week?"

Annunciation flares, hot and immediate. You just want to get drunk in peace, to not be perceived. The irritation finally forces you to turn your head, a sharp retort dying on your lips.

Your tipsy brain takes a stumbling, syrupy second to process him. Gorgeous isn't the right word. It's insufficient. You blink, half expecting him to be an illusion that has to dissipate and reveal a mediocre Bob sitting by your side. But he remains, solid and real. Big, round eyes fringed with lashes you'd kill for, thick eyebrows that do most of the talking—one quirks up now as you stare, silent and stupid. His lips are distractingly full, and his features are soft and strong at the same time. A single, crystal clear thought cuts through the alcohol: You have been criminally underfucked. A man like this, for just one night, seems like a divine solution.

You signal the bartender for another drink. You know you shouldn't, but if you're going to survive this conversation without doing something truly unhinged, you need the liquid courage.

"That bad, huh?" he asks, a small smile playing on those lips.

"You have no idea," you murmur.

The longer you talk, the less you hear the actual words. You're distracted by the whole of him. His scent—something masculine like bergamot and cedar—messes with your head. The muted blue henley he wears stretches taut over what are clearly broad shoulders and strong arms; his jeans do nothing to hide the powerful thickness of his thighs. You can already imagine the solid weight of those arms around you, and your thighs press together of their own volition. You have to consciously wrench your mind back to the present, offering a non-committal hum in response to something he said.

His name is Seungcheol. You learn this when he offers it, his gaze steady and knowing, as if he can read every illicit thought scrolling behind your eyes.

Somehow, the conversation twists into a dare. A challenge in your tone, a spark in his.

"My place is closer," you say, the words out before you can reconsider. It's not a question. It's a statement. A decision.

"Then let's go," is all he says, his voice dropping an octave.

Now you're in the back of a taxi, the city lights streaking past the windows like liquid gold. The silence inside the car is an entity of its own. It's thick with the unspoken, charged with a static tension that makes the fine hairs on your arms stand up. He's not touching you, but you can feel the heat of his leg mere inches from yours. You stare straight ahead, your hands clenched in your lap, but your entire being is hyper-aware of him. The scent of his perfume is stronger in the enclosed space, and you can see the solid line of his thigh from the corner of your eye.

You could probably straddle him right here, and the driver wouldn't even blink. The thought is so vivid, so tempting, that a shiver runs down your spine. But you're not that insane. Not yet. You just watch the city blur, counting the seconds until you're alone with him.

All hell breaks loose the moment the apartment door clicks shut.

The sound of the lock engaging is a starting pistol. In one fluid motion, Seungcheol has you spun around and pinned against the solid wood. His big hands are everywhere at once—cupping your jaw, sliding down your spine, gripping your hips to grind you against the hard muscle of his thigh covered in the rough fabric of his jeans. His mouth crashes down on yours, and every coherent thought you've ever had evaporates.

Kissing him is exactly what you imagined—maybe even better. It's not gentle; it's all hungry lips and slick, hot pressure. You can't breathe, and you don't care. A broken sound, half-whimper, half-sigh, escapes you.

"So responsive," he murmurs against your lips, his voice a dark, rough thing that vibrates through your very bones. His teeth scrape your bottom lip. "Knew you would be."

"Just- just get on with it," you gasp out, tugging at his henley.

He chuckles, the sound low and wicked. "So impatient." He captures your mouth again, swallowing your next retort, his tongue tangling with yours until your knees go weak.

But you don't want to stay by the door. With a strength fueled by pure, frantic need, you push at his chest, backing him off. Your fingers lace with his, and you lead him into the darkness of your bedroom.

The impatience from the hallway explodes into a frenzy here. Clothes become the enemy. Your hands fumble with buttons and zippers, a tangled, breathless dance. When he finally pulls his henley over his head, your mouth actually waters and you catch yourself gulping at the sight. The dim light from the streetlamps outside cuts across his torso, revealing a build that is nothing short of devastating. Thick, defined muscle layered with a tantalizing softness—a body built for strength and comfort. You can swear this realisation pushes you to ovulate a week earlier than you're supposed to because suddenly, all you can think about is that you need this man to rail you into oblivion and fill you up real good. And as your eyes follow a thin happy trail leading to the waistband of his jeans, you find yourself swallowing thickly.

But when it's his turn to remove his underwear, the world tilts on its axis.

You prop yourself up on your elbows, disbelief wiping lust clean from your face. He's... small. Adorably, comically small. A short, cute fucking cock, resting innocently against a thatch of dark hair, a stark, almost hilarious contrast to the godlike miracle of the rest of him. A wild thought flashes: he was too perfect, so the universe had to balance him out. You press your lips together, a Herculean effort to keep from laughing or letting a truly stupid, tactless comment slip. Your face, you're sure, says it all despite your efforts. The sharp, clawing desire you felt moments ago recedes, not out of disgust, but sheer, baffled surprise. Your mood isn't ruined, just... recalibrated.

To your astonishment, Seungcheol isn't offended. If anything, his confidence seems to amplify, a lazy, knowing smirk playing on his lips. "See something you like?" he taunts, his voice a low purr.

You let out a disbelieving huff of a laugh. "It's... cute."

His smirk widens. "Go on. Play with it."

You laugh again, for real this time, but you comply. Why not? The guy is still ridiculously pretty. Your hand wraps around him easily, your fingers meeting with room to spare. A condescending, almost cooing comment slips out as you give a slow, experimental pump. "So tiny," you whisper, leaning down to kitten-lick the limited length of the underside.

Seungcheol just watches, utterly entertained, which strikes you as unusual. It rings a faint, distant bell in the back of your head, but you're too tipsy, too caught in the absurdity of the situation to do the math.

It's just a minute in, your movements becoming lazy and rhythmic, that you realize something is off. The sensation in your palm is changing. It feels less... contained. You stop, pulling back to observe, and your brain short-circuits.

You are watching a metamorphosis. His shaft is expanding, thickening, lengthening right before your eyes, transforming from a cute novelty into a weapon of mass destruction, no less. The understanding hits you like a physical blow: he's a grower. A huge fucking grower. At this point you're certain this is his little game, his secret power, and he probably gets off on the whiplash of reactions.

You swallow thickly, your throat dry. Now sitting in your hand is a solid, heavy eight inches of cock, the circumference so thick your fingertips strain to meet. The way the tip is narrower than the formidable shaft makes the rest of him look even more substantial—not that it makes that much of a difference, he's still obviously big without the visual illusion.

You are shocked into silence.

Now it's Seungcheol's turn to have fun. A deep, triumphant chuckle rumbles in his chest. "What's wrong?" he coos, his voice dripping with mock sympathy. "Cat got your tongue?" he taunts softly, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, his thumb stroking your jaw. "You were so talkative before."

You find your voice, a thin reedy sound. "You… you're…"

"I'm what?" he prompts, leaning in, his breath warm against your ear.

"A monster," you whisper, half in fear, half in reverence.

He genuinely laughs at that and you're mesmerised to see his dimples showing again. "Don't worry, I know how to use it."

From that point on, the night descends into the wildest, most primal experience of your life. But fear not—he is chivalrous, in his own way. He doesn't just plough into you. He preps you first, with a devastating expertise that leaves you sobbing. His fingers, thick and clever, find a rhythm inside you that has you coming apart with a broken scream, your back arching off the sheets. He stretches you with two, then three, then all four of his digits, scissoring them until you're panting and begging for something, anything more.

"Lube," he commands, his voice rough with his own restraint.

You can't move, your body a boneless, oversensitive puddle. "D-drawer," you manage to slur, pointing a limp hand towards the nightstand. "Top."

He retrieves it, and the sound of the cap snapping open is obscenely loud. He lubes himself up generously, the slick, sticky sound making you shiver, then applies more to your throbbing, already-drenched heat. He positions himself at your entrance, the narrow, blunt head of him a terrifying promise.

"Breathe," he orders, his eyes locked on yours.

He pushes inside.

To Seungcheol's credit, he wields his weapon with the skill of a master. Just like he promised. He doesn't rush, is painfully, exquisitely slow and patient, giving your body time to stretch and accept him. And still, when he finally sheathes himself fully in your tight heat, you feel ripped in two, stuffed so full you can't remember your own name.

A broken, continuous sound falls from your lips—a mix of a sob, a mewl, and a prayer. You realize he doesn't need to hunt for any specific spot; the relentless, thick pressure against every single inch of your inner walls is enough. You're ready to cum again immediately, every minuscule shift and rub against your assaulted nerves sending lightning through your veins.

It only destroys your brain more when he begins to thrust, slow and deep at first, smearing the lubrication, the wet, filthy sound squelching in the quiet room.

This is where the condescension returns, but it's laced with a dark, almost possessive heat that doesn't feel cruel. Maybe because you're already crying and drooling onto your own pillow, your mind turned to mush.

"Look at you," he grunts, his voice strained with effort. "So fucking tight. Taking me so well." His pace picks up, stealing your breath. "What were you saying before? Something about... cute?"

"N-no," you choke out, the word barely recognizable.

"No, what?" he demands, driving into you harder, nailing a spot that makes you see stars.

"Not- not cute," you stammer, your mind blanking. "Big... s'so big."

"I know," he breathes hotly against your ear. "Stop thinking. Just feel it."

And who are you to argue?

It matters even less when he decides to make a portable fleshlight out of you. He pulls out with a slick, obscene pop, leaving you feeling gaping and empty. Before you can protest, his hands are on you, manhandling you with effortless strength off the bed. He pulls you up, your limbs useless and shaky, and guides you into a full nelson, his arms hooking under your knees, his chest a solid wall against your back as he stands up straight by the bed.

From this impossible position, he sheathes his rock-hard cock back into your cunt, which now clenches around him even tighter, the new angle making everything feel brand new and more intense. A helpless, overstimulated keen is torn from your throat. You're lightheaded, but the dizziness triples when you catch your reflection in the dark window across the room. The visual is devastating: the powerful bulge of his muscles as he holds all your weight, the way his thick dick disappears into your body, the utterly wrecked expression on your face. You cum right then and there, a silent, seizing explosion that makes your vision tunnel.

The way your cunt violently milks his cock makes Seungcheol curse, a raw, guttural "Fuck!" that hotly hits the back of your neck. He falters for a single second, then resumes, hammering into you throughout your violent orgasm, not giving you a second of reprieve until you're oversensitive and babbling, "Too much, please, 's too much."

It is not the end, however.

With a grunt, he throws you back onto the bed, face down. He mounts you from behind, one hand angling your hips up for his use, and rams back into your well-used, thoroughly stretched cunt. There's no slowness this time; your body has already been molded to his shape. One of his thick arms snakes around your neck, not choking, but holding you in a firm headlock as he lays his full weight atop you, his muscles bulging with the effort of his punishing pace and cutting off your oxygen just enough. You feel dizzy, owned, completely and utterly conquered.

He batters your cervix like this, fucking into you with animalistic grunts, as you keen and whimper and whine, reduced to a mindless, pleasure-drunk creature. You feel the exact moment he loses control, his thrusts becoming erratic, stuttering. You feel his dick begin to pulse and jerk violently inside you.

"Gonna fill you up," he snarls, his voice ragged. "Take it. Take all of it."

He spills deep inside you with a long, low groan, flooding your abused opening with his release, giving a few final, harsh thrusts to make sure every drop is seated within you. Only then does he collapse, crushing you into the mattress with his spent weight, too tired to pull out and roll off.

And you are frankly glad for the crushing weight of him. It's surprisingly grounding when your soul threatens to leave your body. The pressure of him the only solid thing in a universe that has been reduced to the smell of sex and sweat, the sound of your ragged breaths mingling, the feel of his heart hammering against your back.

Your mind is still fogged and swimming in bliss, tiny spent mewls escaping you on exhales, but you already know for a fact you won't be able to walk straight tomorrow—and a few days after too—after being fucked this properly. And yet, you'd let Seungcheol ruin you all over again before you even get a chance to recover. If only he would want to.

And with the way Seungcheol's lips begin a slow, lazy trail from your shoulder to the sensitive skin of your neck, a low, appreciative hum vibrating through his chest and into yours, you think he's very, very willing.

*.(๓•͙ ˕ •͙๓).* Please like + reblog + comment if you enjoyed your time reading this! This means a lot and motivates me to continue posting.

Before you could answer, he reached out and gently tucked a stray strand of your hair back under your hood.

Before you could answer, he reached out, his gloved fingers moving slowly, and gently tucked a stray strand of your hair back under your hood.

His thumb brushed your cheekbone, a completely unnecessary but electrifying contact that lingered for a breath too long.

Stop being weird, it’s Jeonghan, you scolded yourself internally. He’s literally done this a thousand times—pulled your hood up, adjusted your shirt, stolen food off your plate. That’s just… him. That’s the default setting for your best friend of ten years.

You felt a familiar heat rise in your face, hoping the cold wind would explain it away. You quickly looked toward the nearest stall, trying to break the intensity of his gaze.

"Do you know how much I hate you right now?" you mumbled, your voice muffled by the scarf as you rubbed your freezing hands together.

Jeonghan laughed, a clear, ringing sound that cut through the low hum of the market noise. "You love me, you liar,” he challenged, “And you love this," gesturing to the sparkling canopy of lights above you.

"The lights are great. You? I’m still debating," you said, reaching out to flatten a stubborn piece of hair sticking out from under his hat.

He immediately leaned into your touch, closing his eyes dramatically. He opened his eyes, now inches from yours, and his tone dropped to a mock-serious whisper. "Seriously, though, are you warm? If you start shivering, I’m putting you inside my coat, and I don't want the hassle."

"Relax, I’m wearing three layers.” You replied, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. "Speaking of hassle,” You quickly broke eye contact, trying to forget that moment where his thumb brushed your cheek. “You’re the one who’s going to have a bad time if we don't get to those churros. I'm hitting empty."

"The belly calls." Jeonghan dropped the serious act and gave you a playful shove, immediately looping his arm around your shoulders in a casual, familiar sprawl. He pointed a long finger toward a distant, brightly lit booth with a line snaking out of it. "There they are. The legendary Chocolate Cream Churros."

"Okay, now you're talking," you conceded, gladly letting him pull you along.

After a short wait, Jeonghan handed you a bag of warm, cinnamon-sugar churros and a small cup of thick, white dipping cream.

The heat from the cup hits your palms instantly, and your stomach practically sings heavenly delight.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, staring at the sight of whipped cream like it was a religious experience. “This looks illegal.”

“Take it slow,” he murmured, leaning in so close you could feel his breath, “You always underestimate how much filling there is.”

“I do not,” you said, already taking a bite with defiant confidence.

He took a slow, confident bite of his own, then immediately started laughing.

Your head snapped up. “What?”

He gestured vaguely toward his own mouth.

"Don’t point, tell me where it is," you grumbled, trying to wipe your upper lip with the back of your hand, which only succeeded in smearing the white cream further across your cheek.

“Okay, no, stop,” he said, catching your wrist before you could smear it further. “You’re making it worse.” Jeonghan laughed harder, a clear, ringing sound. He set his churro bag down on a nearby ledge.

"Hold still," he instructed.

This is fine. This is normal, you chanted internally. He always cleans up your messes.

He reached out, his hand bare this time, and his thumb gently wiped the corner of your mouth. The contact was brief, but his skin was warm against the coldness of yours.

His thumb lingered for just a second, his eyes on the cream he’d collected. He pulled his hand back, still looking directly at you, then slowly, casually brought his thumb up to his own mouth and licked the excess cream away.

Your breath hitched. Wait. He didn't just...The entire motion was shockingly intimate, turning the simple act of cleaning your face into something that felt entirely too personal.

"Waste not, want not," he announced, his voice totally steady, though the look in his eyes was entirely too pleased with the flustered mess he'd just created.

You could feel your face burn, a blush spreading beneath your scarf hot enough to melt the remaining snow. You snatched a churro from the bag and pointed it at him.

"You're gross," you finally managed, the words coming out as a shaky whisper.

Jeonghan just smiled, a sweet, triumphant grin that crinkled the corner of his eyes. He leaned in, just close enough for you to smell the cinnamon on his breath.

"I know," he replied, his voice dropping to a low, confident drawl. "But I'm pretty enough that you'll forget it by the time we hit the rink."

“You’re impossible”. You retorted, giving him a hard, familiar nudge with your elbow.

–

After tying your skates and doing your best to ignore the sight of Jeonghan gliding effortlessly toward the center—the nerve of this so-called beginner—you pushed off the boards.

The slickness hit you immediately. Your ankle wobbled, your arms flailed, and you instantly grabbed the railing, your fingers gripping the wood as if it were the only thing keeping you from being swallowed by the ice.

Jeonghan circled back, a picture of infuriating grace, his hands tucked nonchalantly into his pockets.

“Are you coming, or are you just going to admire the ice?” He called out, his voice bright and teasing.

"I’m just making sure I don't break every bone in my body," you muttered, managing one terrified, half-inch step.

He shook his head, pushing off the boards to glide over to you. His skates made that soft, satisfying shhh sound as he moved. He stopped right beside you, his height making him tower over your hunched form.

"Just trust me, okay? You're too stiff. Bend your knees."

The casual reassurance felt like a challenge, but you knew him well enough to know he was just excited. He reached out and gently took your hand, lacing your fingers with his own. His palm, still slightly warm from the churro cup, was a secure anchor against your cold, shaky skin.

You took a deep, shaky breath, forcing your feet to move with his momentum.

He didn't stop, but began to glide backward, pulling you along. You started taking tentative steps, your legs moving in a wobbly, rhythmic stride that made you feel like a newborn giraffe. You held onto his hand desperately, laughing breathlessly every time you nearly lost your balance. Jeonghan just smiled, effortlessly towing you around the quiet rink.

"I hate you," you gasped, adrenaline making your cheeks flush.

"This is fun!" he countered, his own face lit up with pure, unadulterated enjoyment. " Look, you're doing great!"

A few smooth laps went by, your movements slowly becoming less jerky, more certain. You were keeping up, mostly because Jeonghan was the perfect counterbalance. You started to relax, lifting your chin enough to look at him.

His eyes found yours, and the playful teasing was gone, replaced by a focused, intent warmth that made your stomach flip.

You were halfway through a joke about his "beginner's luck" when, at that exact moment, your skate caught a small ridge of ice left by the ice resurfacer.

You didn't have time to process it; the ice shot out from under you, and you let out a gasp as you went tumbling forward, dragging Jeonghan’s hand with you.

He didn't let go. Instead, with a sharp intake of breath and a powerful, quick twist, he shifted his weight, keeping his feet firmly beneath him while using his free arm to pull you toward him.

You didn't fall on the ice; you fell into him.

You ended up pressed against the thick wool of his coat, your faces nearly touching. His chest rose and fell rapidly beneath your ear as he took in a startled breath. His arms were locked around your waist, holding you upright and steady.

For a moment, all the air left your lungs, replaced by the scent of his winter cologne and the sharp cold of the rink. Then, the shock broke, and you burst into helpless laughter.

"You said you wouldn't let me fall!" you wheezed, clutching his coat.

Jeonghan’s laugh followed, a loud, clear sound that echoed off the empty stands. He didn’t release you; he simply held you steady while shaking with amusement.

“I didn’t! I caught you!” he corrected, his voice full of laughter. He loosened his grip slightly, allowing you to tilt your head up, his eyes now crinkled with mirth.

You grinned up at him, shaking your head. “You are the worst skating teacher ever!”

He kept you suspended in his hold, just enjoying the moment. His smile slowly softened, becoming less about the joke and more about the closeness. The shift was almost imperceptible, but the easy laughter faded as his eyes held yours.

His hands, still firmly around your waist, tightened ever so slightly, and the easygoing friend vanished, replaced by the intense look you’d seen back at the churro stand.

“Though I have to admit,” he added, his voice dropping to that low, confident drawl that always made your heart stutter, “This does put us in a very… convenient position, doesn’t it?”

The laughter instantly died in your throat. You could feel the heat radiating off his body, the steady, rhythmic thump-thump of his heartbeat beneath your ear. Your mind was screaming: Abort! Abort! This level of intensity was territory reserved for strangers, not your platonic, long-term best friend. The weight of your decade-long "friendship" label pressed down on the moment.

You forced a nervous, slightly strained laugh, pushing back just enough to create a sliver of space, but his arms remained a solid, unmoving barrier around you.

"Alright, Mr." you deflected, trying to inject your voice with the lighthearted teasing you usually shared. "Are you going to keep holding me, or are we actually going to skate? I need to redeem myself from that embarrassment."

He didn't move. His smile slowly softened, his unwavering gaze held nothing but fondness. He didn't move his hands from your waist; in fact, you felt his grip adjust, subtly pulling you even closer so your skates nudged his.

“I can hold you for as long as you need,” he murmured, his voice incredibly low and steady. He didn't look desperate or demanding; he just looked honest.

He held you still, the only movement the gentle swaying of your two bodies balancing on the thin blades. The silence stretched, filled only by the distant whir of the ventilation and the tinny music.

He slowly lifted one hand from your waist and used his thumb to carefully push your hood back, revealing your face fully. His fingers then settled in your hair at the base of your skull, a tender, possessive gesture. He didn't ask a question about your feelings; he just stated a fact.

“Have I ever told you how pretty you are?” he whispered, his eyes searching every inch of your face, his voice barely audible.

The question hit you with the force of an actual confession. He had told you—once, maybe twice, when you were dressing up for a mutual friend's party, or right after you got a haircut.

It was always casual, a quick, friendly observation. But this... this was different. This was sincere, vulnerable, and loaded with the weight of everything unsaid.

You felt your cheeks heat up, a blush starting at your collarbone and rising your neck. You could only nod your head slowly, a minute movement. Yes, you have. But never like this.

He smiled, a slow, knowing gesture, his eyes never leaving yours. "Well, I haven't said it enough." He paused, letting the silence stretch, his thumb gently stroking the skin behind your ear.

"This is the part where you say we're just friends," he murmured, his voice low, almost sad, acknowledging the barrier without forcing it.

You swallowed, your throat suddenly dry. He wasn't demanding anything; he was simply laying out the truth and waiting for you to tell him to stop. That vulnerability was what finally broke your resistance.

"I can't," you whispered, the word tight in your throat. You didn't need to elaborate. He knew what you meant—you couldn't say the words that would push him away.

A profound relief washed over his face, sharp and immediate. He looked down at your lips, then back to your eyes, his expression utterly serious.

He didn't move fast. Very slowly, deliberately, he closed the final distance between you, meeting your lips with a soft, careful pressure. It was tentative at first, a moment of testing the new territory.

Then, his hand tightened in your hair, and his mouth moved against yours with a certainty that erased every doubt. His grip around your waist pulled you securely against him, cementing the moment.

When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead gently against yours. He was smiling, but it was a quiet, private expression of pure satisfaction.

"I've wanted to do that for a ridiculous amount of time," he confessed, his voice slightly rough and incredibly honest.

You let out a soft, giddy laugh that felt like sunshine breaking through the clouds. It was the most honest, least clumsy thing that had happened to you all night.