They should've been over their fear, they should be over this.
But how could they not freak out when they heard the thunder rumbling overhead?
How could they not feel sick when the warnings started popping up in their phone?
How could they not get shaky when the wind picked up, the rain started pouring, the lightning started flashing?
How could they not jump and hide when the power blinked?
Angel, despite it being nearly 90 degrees outside, curled themself up in a heavy blanket to hide, pulling it up over their head as they hunched over to listen to the storm coverage livestream.
It was supposed to be south of them, away and going further away... Why the hell is it hitting here so strongly...
They felt somewhat sick to their stomach regardless, twiddling with their wedding band to comfort themself, even though David was just in the other room working on a few things on his laptop.
They hated this, they hated this, they fucking hated this...
No amount of seeing goofy sounding city names surrounding the area was easing their nerves.
No amount of cold water sipped was making them feel better.
No amount of hiding made it go away.
They wanted to hover around their husband, they wanted to sit with him to feel better... Mostly because there weren't any windows in his office, it was more central in the house — which is why they like to joke and call it a cave, prompting him to get a few lamps to lighten the room up a little.
But they knew better. Did they really, though...
They didn't want to bother him, just because of their stupid fear.
Even though he'd never poke fun about it, they were so used to being judged for it that they kept to themself.
You're just annoying everyone.
Why are you so scared of weather?
Their heart was racing, only feeling worse when they tried to peek out from their little sanctuary of blankets and pillows and saw what it looked like outside. The dark sky, the wind making the rain go more horizontal instead of straight down.
They just watered the garden too... They hoped it wouldn't get flooded... They really want to keep those plants...
This wasn't worth them freaking out, this was pointless... So why were they so scared...
They peeked out of their little safe space, a split second before the power went out again. They hid until they heard the beep of everything turning back on. Great, now everything had to be reset.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me!"
They stuck their head out again when they heard their husband groan out loud in the other room. They had a feeling he lost what he was working on when the power blinked and the Wi-Fi cut out... Shit.
They kept out to see him emerge from his office, dragging his hands down his face as he went onto find the router and reset it, crouching down to get it and press a button... wait a few seconds, then hit the button again.
They halfway expected him to go back in there, but they were pleasantly surprised when he dropped down into the couch next to them, his arms wrapping around them to pull them in close.
"How're you holding up with this?"
The answer came out before they could stop it, "I don't think it really matters."
"What—" He sat up, pulling the blanket from their head to see them, "what's that supposed to mean?"
They wanted to hide again.
"Just... it doesn't matter, I'm just being scared again... Big fucking shock with me..." They mumbled, their head hung low.
They couldn't even look at him, they could feel his gaze burning into them. They should've just kept quiet.
"Angel— I'm asking you for a reason. I know this stuff can get you skittish, I'm..." He sighed. "I'm just making sure you're okay."
"I know..." They couldn't stand themself right now.
"Then what was that for—" It took him a moment. "Oh."
They sighed as they flopped over against him, being a bit too close to clunking their head on the end table if it weren't for him pulling them down onto his lap.
"I knew it was stupid... I still know it is—"
"It's not stupid to be afraid of something out of your control, angel."
"Then why the fuck did I get made fun of for years because of it, huh?" They held the blanket curled around them... even though they were starting to sweat being wrapped up in this.
"Because those people are assholes and love to target any sign of what they consider weakness. Vulnerability. Anything that doesn't fit into their standard of how you're supposed to be."
They turned over, hiding their face against him. It's just a storm though, that's what they kept thinking... It's just some stupid storm—
They covered their ears again as the thunder picked up again, rattling the walls enough to shake the pictures and decor around.
"I just fucking hate this..." They yanked the blanket back up over their head, "And I hate how much it scares me..."
They've always been scared of storms, ever since they were a kid. They couldn't hardly ever explain why, but they also could never explain why it always pissed everyone around them off. Was that not a logical fear? To be scared of something that could damage the house? Take down trees? Cut the power? Flood the area?
They didn't get it. They simply just did not understand why them being scared... ended up being the worst thing ever.
So they stopped talking about it.
They cowered on their own.
Said fuck it, and prepped for it on their own.
Even when they were still with their ex, Michael almost made fun of them for it in concealed ways. Calling them dramatic, saying it wasn't going to be that bad. Giving them that same look they got used to, that same look of judgement and ridicule without saying a damn thing.
They remembered their first bad storm with David, how they feared that it was going to be a repeat... But instead, he actually comforted them.
He stuck by their side, eased them through it instead of ignoring them...
They couldn't even tell why they were scared of that risk all over again.
"Angel," he tried to pull them from their shell, but they held on tight to their grasp on the blanket to keep it right there. They heard him chuckle, that somewhat confused them. "Angel, I know for a fact you're roasting in that."
"You're going to regret it."
They shook their head with a sound equivalent to a "nuh uh," and kept in their little cocoon...
Until they could feel the sweat on their skin. Then they finally emerged.
They huffed a pout. They nearly hid again when thunder rolled again, only to pause the motion when his hands covered their ears this time. They looked up at him, tilting their head in silent confusion.
"I'm not having you try and bake yourself alive in a blanket to try and muffle out the sound," he peeled the blanket from them, they almost felt exposed now.
They kept their pout as he pulled them into his lap, cradling their head against his chest. They still felt stupid...
They knew the house was sturdy, they were aware of that, but...
"Angel," they didn't lift their head, so instead, he pressed a kiss to the top of their head, "you're allowed to be scared. There shouldn't be anything shameful about it. It's no different than someone being afraid of heights, afraid of the ocean, hell... Afraid of spiders. Fears are just part of human nature."
They huffed at him through their nose, "People don't make fun of someone for being scared of heights, they just accept it as completely rational and go on..."
"I know they do. People like to pick and choose what they think is rational and what they think isn't. I wish I could understand it myself, but... "
They just wanted to change the subject.
"How much did you lose when the power blinked?"
He groaned all over again, the distraction worked. "I was nearly done with that one... I didn't think I was going to have to save after every word I typed but maybe I'm going to have to... Have to redo all that now..."
"I kinda expected you to do that when you reset the router."
He hummed with a shrug, "That shit can wait... It's not going anywhere. Maybe I'll save my own sanity taking a break from it... Besides," he tucked his hand under their chin to lift it so they were looking at him, "I've got other priorities right now."
He cocked a brow, "Take a wild fucking guess, angel," he leaned down to give them a kiss, "my priorities right now are set on making sure you're okay because of the storm."
"Yeah, oh," he lovingly rolled his eyes, "you goof..."
They stuck their tongue out at him before plopping their head against his chest again.
They could slightly see the window with the way their head was aimed, the storm was starting to die down... Good. The sky was starting to get lighter, the rain was starting to slow, the thunder getting further away... Seeing that had the tension releasing from their shoulders.
He hummed softly, leaning down to kiss the top of their head, "Good, I'm glad..."
They felt calmer, they had to admit. But there was something that could make it better.
"Can we just... lay down and cuddle for a bit?"
He scoffed a light breath, "As if I'd say no to that," he teased as he held onto them to move around to lay down. Once they were on top of him, they tucked their head up under his chin as their arms held around him.
