Because — he will always, ALWAYS downplay himself.

Physically he's not a big guy. He's got a good build, yes, he's a pirate with a background in fencing and horseback riding and otherwise he keeps himself in good shape. Some of it is to make himself feel more capable of protecting himself.

But emotionally, mentally, he puts others first often at the detriment to himself. I phrased it once as him viewing himself as his partner's sword - we were talking in the context of Feylon where he's in a deeply committed relationship with someone who understands what he's been through on a visceral level, but this could at the end of the day really apply to even his close friends. He is a weapon, someone who can put himself between the Enemy and his Loved Ones and protect them. He couldn't protect himself, but with his sword and his fire and if he narrows himself down to this one purpose, he can protect them.

But he won't necessarily protect himself. He still doesn't see himself as worth protecting, in the sense that he views himself still as an object to be used, to be put to purpose and when that purpose is fulfilled, to be repurposed for something else.

I just woke up and none of this makes sense. Blah blah blah.