5.20 AM

Pain scale? More like pain in the booty. No two people seem to read it the same way, and chronic folks tend to downplay their pain.

So here’s an idea: when asked to rate your pain, provide a number to rate your distress levels in addition to your pain levels.

Some examples:

“I’m at a 5 on the pain scale, but my distress is basically a 1 because this is my usual.”

“I’m at a 3 on the pain scale, but my distress is a 7 because this is new pain and affects a part of my body that’s very important to my work.”

(just bc i need to type to get my thoughts in order lmao i’m a mess listen to this)

SO at the very beginning of the year i was specifically told TO NOT get with my friend’s roommate bc it’ll make him feel really awkward and i agreed that it wasn’t worth it if it would make him uncomfortable in his everyday life

fast forward to last night and catch me and his roommate goin at it in the club we were at and my friend seeing us and being like ‘oh for fucks sake’ which is completely fair.

and then i get super emotional in my drunk ass state bc i know that i’ve betrayed my friend’s trust and i’m worrying he’s gonna hate me or fkn hold a grudge against me and i cry my little eyes out bc i’m so worried bc i know i’ve fucked up and done exactly what i was asked not to do

HOWEVER i do not take sole responsibility bc my other friend (his girlfriend) pushed me over in the roommate’s direction and was all like ‘you prolly shouldn’t but like if you wanna i ain’t gonna stop you’ so OF COURSE i was gonna end up on the couch shifting the roommate (who was the best kisser ever someone stop me from doing it again por favor bc it’ll be tempting ugh)

so moral of the story is that i’m a messy bitch who did something she promised her friends that she wouldn’t do and feels so so bad about that but isn’t sure she regrets what she did bc it was so good and ugh i hate myself