Graduating college feels bittersweet. Bitter because I know I did not want to go to college, and have struggled with feeling across the 4 years I spent going. But sweet, because despite that, I did find some silver linings. I really did grow up quite a bit over the years, and Iâm grateful for it most of the time. Each year posed a unique challenge. Freshman year, I came out to my family, moved to Vermont, switched from majoring in neuroscience to theater, had a serious mental breakdown, spent Christmas and New Years Eve in the mental hospital - which if it isnât clear, is a horrible place to be, my god, only got out of there because I decided I was going to go on a bender and either die or figure out how to live, gave myself a lot of tattoos, moved back home, got pressured by my family to stop medical transition, transferred to community college, got more involved in ceramics, worked as an overnight janitor and went to class after my shift was over (another version of hell), ate a ton of cracker barrel biscuits out of the garbage and drank a lot more cheap booze than I care to admit, went to the rainbow gathering, got (more) addicted to drugs in Colorado, tried to walk on the beach from the boarder of washington to california, got about halfway and hurt my knee, fell in love with a communist in Oregon, started riding my bike religiously, tried to get sober, played guitar a lot, changed my major from theater to the individual concentration program, got to do a NOLS course for almost free with my americorp award, got top surgery, moved into an apartment with 4 (then 7) other people, took a 1 credit permaculture class and felt really good at school for the first time ever, tried to invest really hard in school by joining the Community Scholars Program (and left a year later), walked around at night a LOT, realized that my friends might actually be insane, started working at Prospect Meadows Farm, got back on hormones, worked the summer as a conservation crew leader and learned possibly too much about people/teenagers, got seriously sober, moved in with my partner after realizing i was definitely homeless, really enjoyed my âfinal semesterâ, declared a second major in sustainable food and farming which meant sticking around for the spring semester, got halfway through the semester before the pandemic exploded in the U.S., moved back home, started online classes, spent most of my time gardening and building stuff, and somehow ended up on track to graduate. I probably missed a lot of things, but this stuff stand out to me. so yeah, it was a lot.
