Ok, so my one mistake at the pretest result really stuck with my English teacher because tell me why, that every time she would pick a student out of FORTY people in the classroom, she'd pick me?! ME?! And this isn't a one time thing either, this would happen literally EVERY TIME the classroom goes quiet. And every single day I would get publicly humiliated because I'm not used to being the center of... Anything!
But, even through all the self loathing and harassment I received from my brain because of— mind you, its inability to cooperate in times of desperate needs, I'm still quite grateful? I think this is the first time that i've experienced someone to see me and might somehow see potential in me? Idk guys I'm probably being delusional.
My fear of public judgement made me study her class harder, and now I would reread every piece of literature she suggests and analyze them. Phew, I'm so scared that I'm going to develop some weird emotional attachment because of my inability to perceive normal things as... well, "normal".
Orrr I'm being extra and I'm looking too deep into this.
