You checked out 65 BOOKS in 2026. You are in the Top 0.1% of readettes!
You zoned out and missed 7.5 HOURS of text in audiobooks this year! Why don't you try asking your doctress about ADHD again babygirl.
You DNFed 14 BOOKS. Maybe in 2027 you'll stick with your seasonal birdwatching mania, eh?
You read 32 MEMOIRS of US marines caught in ambushes. Are you planning something or just a pervert?
You fucked up scanning at the self-checkout 7 TIMES, 4 of which you left the library in shame. I'd be too shy to check out at the front desk too if I was reading what you do.
Your longest hold was 49 WEEKS for The Fellowship of the Ring. And then you quit at the Tom Bombadil chapter.
You fantasized about fucking your wife in the library's gender-neutral single-occupancy restroom TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN TIMES. You rank 2nd globally behind the librarian with the cute glasses you spoke to once. Keep an eye on her!