Stolen Memes And Broken Dreams

Three little sisters recreate movie scenes with their mom.

YCH give away!

Rules: 

- Must be following me. (Don’t follow me just to enter then unfollow after. That’s kinda rude.) 

- Reblogs count as 1 entry. Likes do not count. You may only reblog twice. (Please don’t reblog with a ref.)

- Females only or males with a feminine figure (like a femboy)

their arms are similar to our tongues in that their muscle fibers are  oriented in three different directions 

octopuses are disconcertingly strong (anecdotal evidence says that a 15 inch wide octopus was as strong as the scientist handling it)

on that note that same scientist said that when her octopuses escaped she would have to run behind them, “like cats” (paraphrased from sy montgomery’s the soul of an octopus)

aquariums have “octopus enriching programs” so they don’t get bored and fuck shit up in their tanks

they are crazy smart like. really. really fucking smart 

but we can’t compare their intelligence to ours because our evolution branched from the same common ancestor so long ago we cannot comprehend how they think

it’s believed that their intelligence evolved when they lost their shell, and had to adapt to predict how countless of different prey and predators would act, how to avoid them, distract them, lure them or trick them 

they visualize how other creatures are going to act, which means they have have awareness that others are individuals which is a type of consciousness but i can’t remember what it’s called right now 

like, they use tools 

they have distinct personalities 

aquarium octopuses are socialized from a very young age and even though in the wild they are solitary creatures they become extremely friendly with enough human exposure

sometimes they dislike people for no apparent reason and will shoot water at them

they have three hearts 

each of their arms has a tiny brain that controls movement and sensory input on its own i shit you not

they are color blind and yet they can camouflage their color and nobody knows how 

they can change the color and texture of their skin faster than human eyes can keep up with it

great pacific octopuses are white when they are peaceful, and red when they’re excited 

aquarium octopus have escaped their tanks and slithered down pipes into the ocean 

escaped their tanks to eat the fish in other tanks 

escaped their tanks to go fight other octopuses cuz they were bored

octopus fight club

learned how to take photographs

cost thousands of dollars by flooding new floors

they can feel, taste, and smell with their suckers and all of their skin

they enjoy tasting their food by slowly moving it through their suckers instead of shoving it in their beaks

they can rewrite their rna. no, really

the only reason why they haven’t evolved to take over as the next dominant race is because they’re doing pretty well  in the ocean so there’s no need for them to adapt further 

there’s a ton more but i’m so overwhelmed by love i can’ think of any at the moment i’m going to cry

learned to shoot out the annoying light over the tank

hid in floor drains when caught out of their tanks by researchers

hid the shells of crabs stolen from a tank under a third, unrelated tank

- learned to spray 45°F water everywhere to demand splashes

-likes taking brushes from divers. Knows the best way to do this was to sneak up from underneath or reach over the shoulder

-will wait until keepers are looking away/distracted to grab stuff and knows exactly how far to sink down to get out of reach

-seriously octos are huge thieves. If you have something in your hand, they want it. As soon as they grab it, it belongs to them. There’s no food and they have no use for it? Doesn’t matter it’s their thing now.

-we lost a magnet scrubber for three days because one stole it from the interns. Every time she let it go and we reached a net to get it, she would snatch it out of the net and drag it back into the den. By the time we got it back she had torn apart the scrub pad

Baby boomers have to switch life situations with a millennial for a year. The millennial gets to live in their house (which they paid off like thirty or forty years ago) and work at their job that provides a good salary and benefits. The baby boomer has to live in the millennial’s shitty, overpriced apartment and struggle to pay rent and work a minimum wage part-time job as well as an unpaid internship in their (the baby boomer’s) field. 

This is beautifully hilarious. 👆🏾 Gay Culture

He was obnoxious to begin with, it is true, but if he moves forward in this wooing as a respectful dude, he will text her something nice like it was fun to meet her or maybe ask her on a date.  Mom will text him back and there will be a bit of confusion before he realizes what happened.  He’ll be a bit chagrined and mom will probably feel bad enough for him being rejected to make him cookies or something.

HOWEVER

If he starts in with that fuckboy shit (asking for sex right out the gate, dick picks, asking for nudes, etc.), he will learn the ultimate lesson. 

In short, he is only fucked if he fucks himself.