cupid

➪ pairing : ot5 cortis x 6th member reader

➪ summary : a continuation to part one , part two , and part three. life's been different without you but what a loss is to a family, it's a new job for someone else.

➪ other notes : if the last part drove me insane, this one demolished me. i hope you guys like it because i really did try my best. creds to @/norvixa6 on tiktok for the analog horror imagery. also this is barely edited it's like 4 am but i tried my very best to check any typos.

“how has it been two months already and still the same information since the first week ?!” your mother screams, hands slamming down on the table. “ma’am please calm down,” officer park tries to deescalate the situation. “no, my daughter went missing two months ago and all any of you do is twiddlƒe with your thumbs instead of looking for her !” your mom cries. “we are doing everything in our power to find y/n, not a day goes by when we aren’t.”

tears start running down your mom’s face, there hasn’t been a single day where she’s had a moment in peace. her whole life halted by your disappearance. “i promise you, we will find y/n,” officer park gently pats your mom on the back, handing her a box of tissues. “we have a new detective working on the case, we are not giving up.” from a few feet away, your brother watches in silence. he’s grown used to how your mom constantly cries.

the car ride home is uncomfortably silent, your brother’s become the chauffeur of the family. your mom hasn’t been able to drive since you disappeared. home isn’t any louder. your shoes are still by the door, slowly collecting dust. your jacket still hangs over a chair, one your mom forgot to move when you forgot it after your last visit. now no one moves anything, how can they ? “mom go lie down for a bit, dinner is on me,” he says, mimicking the same soft tone she used on both of you as children.

“how about we get thai takeout instead ?” she suggests, a lump forms in your brother’s throat. “…yeah of course, whatever you want, i’ll let you know when it gets here,” he forces a smile, nodding. your mom makes her way upstairs before calling out, “oh and chul, if there’s anything new, let me know please.” chul nods, “yeah i will.” but he knows deep inside that there won’t be any updates, it’s just a waiting game with no prize to win.

chul spends most of his days like he did before everything. he attends his classes at his university, works as a cashier afterwards, and goes home to sleep. nothing about his routine has changed yet it feels 10 times more tiring. he can distract himself from thoughts about you during the day but as soon as night falls, everything hits him like a truck. he doesn’t cry, but he’s lucky if he gets three hours of sleep. he hates himself for just thinking of this but a part of him has grown to resent you.

not because you ran away, no that would have been easier because at least you would have told someone. but what is he supposed to think when you suddenly disappear ? he knows what the company said, but he doesn’t care. he knows you, he knows his sister, you would’ve never left. though he knows that making a claim against a multimillionaire company with no proof would only result in loss, financial and emotional.

and with the way finances are going, he’d rather not start anything. almost immediately after you disappeared, the company cut off any source of income, claiming that you had breached the contract. royalties you had been receiving for years even before debut were all cut off. with a mix of mom’s medicine, her medical bills, mortgage, groceries, and miscellaneous bills, chul tried his best to pick up as many shifts as possible.

not because they’re about to go completely broke, but because life was starting to become less comfortable. it’s weird to think that the youngest person in the family was the one responsible for most finances. when mom stopped working after her chronic pain became worse, you told her not to worry about it, that you’d take care of it. now instead of just worrying about his tuition payments, he has to make sure expenses don’t fall through the roof.

one night, chul stares at your bedroom door before opening it. he winces at the creak, remembering how you’d complain that he never oiled the hinges. he walks in, closing the door behind him. he doesn’t bother turning on the light, just sits on the floor next to your bed, letting his back feel the plushness against your mattress. even though you hadn’t lived at home in a long time, your room still looks the same as it did years ago.

the only difference now is that you’re not coming home at all. his hands dig into his hoodie pocket, revealing three things. nicotine gum, nicotine patches, and cigarettes. before you even debuted, chul had the habit of smoking cigarettes on a weekly basis. it helped with his stress as much as he didn’t want to admit he was addicted to it. you’d immediately cover your nose when he walked by, harshly scolding him. “you’re so disgusting chul,” he’d just roll his eyes, “well it’s a good thing you’re not the one doing it huh ?”

it would always end in an argument, until one day when he stopped altogether. “you know, second hand smoking is also bad, how am i supposed to sing if i’m breathing in your smoke ?” chul raised his eyebrows in confusion. “i smoke with the window open, what the hell are you talking about ?” “that doesn’t matter, that shit penetrates the walls !” you stomped your foot in frustration. “you won’t even live here in a month, you’re moving to the dorms.”

“okay then if it’s only a few weeks until i leave, quit for now and then you can continue ruining your lungs,” you crossed your arms. “are you worried about your lungs or mine ? make up your mind.” “i’m worried about all of us ! you know mommy can’t be breathing it in either,” you stated, flailing your arms. chul hummed, you made a good argument. so he finally made the decision to go cold turkey.

“okay, just until you leave, i’ll stop smoking and i promise that any future smoking will be done outside, how does that sound ?” chul smooshes his cigarette into his ash tray. you blink at him before smiling brightly, “really ?!” chul rolled his eyes, “yes really.” you immediately wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tightly. “i knew you loved me !” your voice muffled against his shirt. “don’t get ahead of yourself,” he awkwardly patted your back.

it’s been almost three years since that conversation and since then, chul hadn’t smoked. the first two weeks without smoking were absolute hell, just the aspect of not having anything to wind down after a hard long day sent cold shivers down his spine. yet, he kept his promise, doing everything to fill that void. his oral fixation was satisfied when he shoved a chapstick between his lips, a little gross but it sufficed.

after you left, he challenged himself to try one more month of not smoking, just to prove to himself and to you that he wasn’t addicted. eventually that challenge became his lifestyle, clean lungs and no lingering smoke smell on his clothes. but now chul looks down at the floor in front of him. “fuck,” he curses to himself, biting his cheek hard enough to make it bleed. he just needs something real, anything to make that ache go away.

he picks up the gum packet, reading the instructions on the back, effective in 10-15 minutes. “who the hell waits that long ?” he drops them on the floor again before grabbing the patches, turning it over, effective in 2-4 hours. “are these fuckers trying to kill me or something ?” he scoffs, throwing them on the floor, this time with more force. he sighs, turning his gaze to the pack of cigarettes. he can’t, he can’t just give it all up right now…but he needs it.

“just one,” a wobbly smile forms on his face, shaky hands ripping off the plastic wrapping. then- BUZZZZ. “shit,” chul jolts, dropping the pack. he reaches again into his pocket, now pulling out his phone. it’s an unknown number listed under the police department. he immediately answers, “hello ?” an unfamiliar voice speaks, “good evening, is this chul l/n ?” chul sits up straight, reaching for the nicotine gum. “yes, this is him.”

“my name is detective kang hyeok-jin, i was assigned to your sister’s case about a week ago,” detective kang introduces himself. “i know it can be very frustrating and repetitive to answer the same questions but i’d like to get some details about y/n so i can understand her disappearance as best as i can.” chul shoves three nicotine gums into his mouth, face contorting in disgust. “yeah of course, i’ll answer anything if it helps you guys find my sister.”

across town, a sleep deprived hyeok-jin asks chul several questions. he writes them down in messy handwriting, just enough for him to understand. “thank you mr. l/n, this was very helpful. i’ll dedicate myself to finding your sister,” hyeok-jin grips the phone tighter. “you’re not the first one to say that…but i hope that you’ll actually help,” chul sighs into the phone, obviously tired out by these two past months.

“i’m sorry to hear that, i know it hasn’t been easy for your family, i’ll do everything i can to get her back,” hyeok-jin sets his pen down. a small pause comes from the other line “yeah…thank you for calling anyway.” even though they aren’t face to face, hyeok-jin can sense the hesitation and defeat in chul’s voice. “i’ll let you rest then, i’ll keep you updated on anything and everything, please save my number into your phone, and have a goodnight.”

“alright, thank you, goodnight,” without another beat, the line is cut. hyeok-jin lays his phone face flat onto his desk, rubbing his hands over his face. he’s been looking over this case for only a week and he’s beyond confused. everything that should be there is there but your case file is small to say the least. the longest document is the company’s statement and proof that you breached your contract and could even be sued.

everything else is just…there. “hey boy, you should head home, you’ve been here two hours overtime,” lieutenant baek sun-woo calls out to him. “i’ll go home soon ! i was just reviewing the case you gave me,” hyeok-jin gives his supervisor a tired smile. “don’t you have a wife and a kid to get home to ?” the lieutenant asks. “i actually don’t have a girlfriend sir,” that statement is immediately welcomed with an up and down stare, “well that explains a lot.”

hyeok-jin tilts his head in confusion, but doesn’t have enough time to reply before lieutenant baek bids his goodbye. “go home before any chance of having a girlfriend disappears completely.” hyeok-jin forces out a laugh, “yes sir !” a few minutes later, the office falls completely silent, the only sound coming from the light over his head. hyeok-jin looks back down at your case, furrowing his eyebrows. missing person report. photos of the cctv footage. company statement. lack of witness statements.

the more he thinks, the more he’s confused. he flips through the interviews of different people you were close with, your family, your members, even workers from your favorite stores. they all said the same thing : you would have never left out of your own will. except for one person. when asked by the police if it seems likely that you’d run away, edwards martin stated “i would like to say no but y/n has always been a complicated person, so i’m unsure.”

hyeok-jin leans back in his chair, it would’ve made sense if everyone or most people had the same idea of you but to only have one person, specifically the last person that saw you ? “hey you’re not heading out yet ?” a familiar voice grabs his attention, it’s officer kim. “i’m about to leave, was just looking over some things,” he smiles at her. “good, don’t overwork yourself,” she nods, walking closer to him. “actually since you’re here, were you at the scene during the investigation with that one idol ?” he asks, pushing the case file to his friend.

“no, i was off that day but i did hear some things about it, why ?” she flips through it. “it just seems weird, almost like it wasn’t…thoroughly investigated, everything is so short,” he hesitates on his words, not wanting to overstep a line. “i can’t say much about it honestly, missing person cases are always weird to handle especially when her company is contradicting it as a whole,” officer kim frowns. “yeah…i’ll look more into that, thanks though,” hyeok-jin sighs, grabbing the file from her.

“also, shouldn’t you also be going home too ?” he asks officer kim. “normally yes but they changed me to night shift, just until one of the guys gets back from paternity leave,” she shakes her head. “oh i see, well make sure to stock up on energy drinks and coffee,” he cracks a joke making officer kim snort. “will do, thanks, now go home and sleep before your brain gives out,” she clears her throat, giving him a small wave. “thanks, have a good shift !” once left alone again, hyeok-jin exhales. he’s tired and confused but he does know something, tomorrow’s a new day.

when chul wakes up, he groans in pain. how did you even sleep on your bed every night when you were little if it’s harder than a rock ?! your unicorn plushie is directly under his neck, your lion plushie is tucked between his armpit. he sits up, rubbing his eyes. on your nightstand is his nicotine products, unopened patches, opened gums, and half unwrapped cigarettes. he looks around your room now that the sun is peeking beyond the curtains. it almost makes him sick, he hates being here during the day where he can see the remnants of your memory as a child.

almost immediately, he fixes your bed before grabbing his things and leaving the room. he thinks he’ll die if he stays in there for another minute. when he goes downstairs, he sees mom, buttoning up her bright pink vest. “mom you’re already leaving ?” he asks, grabbing her purse. “early bird gets the worm honey,” she smiles, looking at him. “seeing you go out like this every day worries me,” chul expresses his discomfort.

“not knowing where your sister is worries me,” she ends his argument. “please be safe then, and don’t stand or walk for too long,” hyeok-jin gives the older woman a tight hug. “walking is good for me, you know that,” she shrugs him off, walking to the front door. mom’s been avoidant lately, less affectionate and more sad, not on purpose but because her mind is clouded by worrying about you. he wishes everything could be normal again.

when lieutenant baek invites hyeok-jin out for lunch, he almost refused. it was weird, not in a suspicious way but he had never had a supervisor buy him lunch. yet here he is, stuffing his mouth with meat. “so hyeok-jin, you came from jeju island right ?” lieutenant baek asks him. hyeok-jin nods, swallowing his food. “how come you came to seoul ? i’d die to live on jeju,” the lieutenant chuckles, sipping a bit of his soup.

“i heard seoul is a good place for detectives to grow,” he replies, awkwardly smiling. “really ? i heard there was a lot of crime there,” he shakes his head at his superior’s words. “no, we just have a lot of tourists and most of them are respectful but there’s a handful that just ruin it for everyone. and even then a lot of the crimes are straight forward, a little burglary here, a little fight there, it’s all very simple,” he sighs.

“no wonder you’re going all in for this missing girl case,” the older man chuckles. hyeok-jin places his chopsticks down, wiping his mouth with a napkin “actually i wanted to talk to you about that.” the lieutenant looks at him, eyebrow raised. “why…did you put me on y/n l/n’s case ? i appreciate it of course, it’s an honor but it’s a big case for a newcomer no ?” he asks, looking off to the side. lieutenant baek hesitates to answer before exhaling.

“it’s a big case but it’s also a dead end.” hyeok-jin’s puzzled by his answer. “what do you mean ?” “you know how you had simple cases in jeju ? it’s similar to this one…whether her family and friends want to admit it or not, the girl probably ran away. there’s no proof otherwise and it’d be hard for her company to fake something like that so boldly.” lieutenant baek explains his thinking, it’s clear by now that he’s set on this idea.

hyeok-jin shifts uncomfortably in his seat, unsure of what to say. “when you have your children, you’ll understand that this is the type of things teenagers do when they’re pent up,” his superior attempts to reassure him. “it doesn’t make sense though-” “please don’t think too much about it kid, digging into it will only waste your time.” hyeok-jin shuts his mouth, beginning to become irritated.

“besides let’s say worst case scenario, the company was involved since apparently that’s folks favorite theory, she’s probably living a good life down low. i mean, think about it, people do a lot for money, money talks and money runs the world.” the older man waves off the situation. instead of arguing and possibly losing his job, hyeok-jin calms himself down “if you say so…”

chul’s day was uneventful to say the least, the same long and boring routine. school and work, nothing to celebrate but nothing to complain about. that is until he had to pick up mom’s medicine. he walked in and out of the pharmacy three separate times, waiting for his check for that week to hit his bank account. when it finally does, he’s only left with a few thousand won afterwards, even with the coupon the pharmacist offered.

as fucked up as it sounds, he’s glad that only a few people know that he’s your brother. he can’t imagine the looks of pity and people whispering under their breath “poor guy, it must suck being him” or even “wow he’s an idol’s brother but he could barely afford medicine.” he’d probably die out of the embarrassment. when he reaches home, the sun’s already gone down.

he’s about to reach for his keys, but having the habit of checking if the door is unlocked gets to him first. surprisingly, it’s open. chul furrows his eyebrows, did mom forget to lock it ? he quietly steps inside, just in case something’s happening. “i wouldn’t possibly be able to accept that,” chul hears mom talking in the kitchen. “it’s really okay don’t worry, you’re basically my second mom,” oh it’s martin.

chul stands outside of the kitchen, listening quietly to the conversation. “y/n isn’t here but i know she would have wanted me to help,” martin tries to persuade mom on something. “but it’s so much money…” mom sighs. “exactly, and i’m guessing chul’s been paying for your medicine, so think about it like this : i’m not only helping you, i’m also helping him,” so that’s what this is about, mom’s medicine.

chul remembers the first time you met martin. it was during a hot summer day in august, both of you were sweaty in boiling heat. martin had approached you, offering to push you on the swing after seeing you fail to get momentum which later led into a game of tag. it was cute and wholesome. what chul didn’t expect was for this to blossom into a friendship, the kind every kid desires to have.

as years passed and both of you grew, martin still chased after you, almost like a person running alongside a butterfly. wherever you went, martin soon followed. he liked martin for the most part, especially because you also never had a bad thing to say about him. when chul found out you’d be in the same group, he was relieved you’d have a best friend beside you and also someone he trusts fully.

chul steps back when he hears footsteps approach the doorway. martin is startled back when he sees chul, “you scared me sorry,” he laughs, a smile forming on his face. “nice to see you too,” chul nods, leading him to the front door. “oh by the way,” chul stops martin just as he’s about to leave. “the police assigned a new detective to y/n’s case.” martin doesn’t turn around, he pauses for a second.

“is that so ?” he asks in a low voice. “yeah,” “that’s good,” martin nods, “let me know if they say anything new.” chul hums, “i will don’t worry, goodnight martin,” with nothing more to say, martin opens the front door and leaves. chul doesn’t blame martin for acting weird, everyone handles bad situations differently. he knows it’s been hard on martin, he can only hope the members are all united on this.

it’s been a month since lieutenant baek took hyeok-jin for lunch. over three months since you’ve been gone. hyeok-jin knows that his lieutenant told him not to dig around but can he just stay still ? unfortunately however, hybe and bighit have not cooperated whatsoever. not outright refusing, rather just not responding at all. phone calls to higher ups in the company lead to an hour wait only for the call to suddenly hang up.

he doesn’t have any luck getting paperwork from them either despite the multiple attempts of contact. public records were extremely shortened and difficult to find. it’s just been a full month of frustration and lack of response. he crumbles up a piece of paper, throwing it into the trash can next to his desk. “why even have a phone number if no one fucking answers,” he grumbles to himself. he leans his head against his hands, letting out an exasperated sigh.

hyeok-jin thinks of the lunch with his lieutenant, trying to remember every word from that conversation. he doesn’t think lieutenant baek meant any harm, but the conversation still bothered him. he thinks of something the lieutenant said at the end of their conversation. “money talks.” he doesn’t have anything else to go off of, just hopes and dreams. his fingers tap against his desk, eyes landing on his computer.

he remembers something his professor said years ago “if you can’t follow people, follow the money.” so he leans forward, clicking through different government sites. “if no one wants to talk to me or answer my questions, i guess i’ll ask the numbers.” it’s his very last hunch, otherwise he’d be just like the past detectives that were handed this case. he can’t give up this easily without checking every end of a clue, he promised your brother that he’d try his best.

chul’s morning started off extremely rough. he was already late for his class, one which he had a test for. mom screamed at him for no reason other than the fact that it’s officially been three months since you went missing. he doesn’t blame her or argue back, he just wishes that she could see he’s also struggling just as much as she is. “i’m sorry mom,” he apologizes even though he has no reason to.

mom cries, “just go to school, i want to be alone,” she sniffles. “okay, i love you,” he leaves before she can say anything else. he runs the fastest he can to his university, missing the first half of his class. he apologizes to the professor, earning a harsh scolding. “i’m so sorry, can i still do the exam please ?” “it’s your time, not mine,” she rolls her eyes, handing him a copy of the test and a scantron. he exhales in relief, sitting down at his seat. he takes a deep breath, putting his pencil to the paper.

grades are put into the system almost as soon as class ends. chul fails the test horribly. not barely, horribly. he got a 15 on it, the worst he’s ever done on anything. it’s so bad he even agrees to have lunch with his friends, anything to try and cheer himself up. but all his friends seem to ask him about is how his family is doing. before you debuted, he had commented to his friends that his little sister was going to be in a kpop group, a mistake he now realizes.

“we’re fine,” chul bites into his sandwich, one his friend had bought him a few minutes ago. “bro if you ever need our help, we’re here for you,” his friend with glasses says as the others nod. “have you, you know, been online lately ?” his other friend with dyed hair asks, earning a shove from chul’s favorite gym bro. “i don’t like reading any of that shit, just jobless nobodies saying shit about my sister,” chul shakes his head.

“that’s good man, i seen a lot of shit a-and i don’t think your sister was like that but like i don’t know people be talking,” dyed hair rambles on. chul ignores him, not wanting to continue talking about you. “do you think talking about her will do you some good ?” glasses asks in a softer tone. “if he doesn’t want to talk about her then let’s not force him,” gym bro comes to chul’s defense. chul gives him a small smile before looking back at his sandwich.

quiet fills the table until dyed hair breaks it with a scoff. “i’m sorry but i have to talk about it, your mom’s out there protesting that nothing is being done for your missing sister but you don’t want to talk about it ? instead of defending her ? do you know what people are saying about her ? that she ran away, not to mention they’re also saying she was the yoko ono of the group-” chul stands up, chair scraping against the floor.

“shut your fucking mouth.” chul warns his friend, the others shocked by his sudden demeanor. “just because your girlfriend goes out and fucks a new guy every weekend doesn’t mean my sister was like that. what do you want me to say huh ? oh i think my sister got kidnapped ! oh i think my sister might have been trafficked ! oh i think my sister might be dead ! it’s been three fucking months and i know nothing, she’s all i think about !” chul’s voice breaks at the end.

“and from what it seems, you don’t know anything about me, let alone my sister so the next time you say anything about her, i’ll beat you to a pulp,” chul warned dyed hair before grabbing his backpack and leaving the cafeteria. no one calls out for him or chases to stop him, not that he was expecting that to begin with. he soon leaves campus, jittery and overwhelmed. chul can feel tears brim his eyes, vision becoming blurry.

as soon as he’s off school grounds, he dumps his backpack out. pencils, notebooks, folders, even his laptop falling onto concrete ground. he frantically reaches his hand into his bag, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. he’s hyperventilating at this point, on the brink of having a panic attack. fuck being sober, fuck anything and everything. he puts the cigarette between his lips, lighter shaking in his hand as he lights it.

the first drag burns his lungs, almost like the first time he smoked. in 10 seconds, his heart rate and breathing slow down. but even when chul releases the smoke from his mouth, the ache in his soul and tears in his eyes don’t disappear, it only makes things worse. he thinks of you and how angry you would be at him right now. he reaches for his phone, trembling fingers scrolling through his contacts, pressing to call.

“martin,” chul’s voice is wobbly as the younger boy answers the phone almost immediately. “hey what’s wrong ?” martin asks, hearing quiet sniffling on the other hand. “i know that you might be busy but i really need to talk to you,” chul cries into the phone. “i’m on break, i have to go back soon but what happened ?” “today’s y/n’s three months since she went missing and everyone’s just talking about her like she’s gone forever and i don’t know what to do anymore, i just fucking smoked after quitting for three years,” he sobs, cigarette burning between his fingers.

“and you of all people know y/n wouldn’t have ran away,” he continues tethering between anger and heartbreak. when chul allows martin to talk, martin is silent to the point where chul think the call ended. “hello ?” “i’m sorry chul, i…i can’t say much, i…” chul doesn’t know why martin is responding so weirdly. “what are you saying ?” “i-i’m saying that i don’t know, everything’s just so…confusing- i’m sorry i have to go, i need to get back to practice,” martin cuts the conversation short.

“what ?” chul asks, softly hiccuping. “i put in the money for your mom’s medication, i’m sorry i can’t say anymore, bye,” before chul can respond, martin hangs up. chul looks down at his phone, “thanks anyway,” he mumbles to himself, tears running down his face. this isn’t the boy you talked so positively about. this isn’t the boy he’s known since martin was 12. chul can’t recognize martin anymore, the real martin would have fought for you.

that night, hyeok-jin stares at the papers in front of him, heart thumping against his ribs. the numbers didn’t add up. mixing or falsified tax records. training expenses that never existed or seemed exaggerated. payments to shell companies. contracts rewritten after signatures had been made. he was right, there was more than what meets the eyes, there’s years of fraud. how has no one noticed this ? …did they ever notice this ? his discovery is soon cut short when he hears running footsteps down the hall.

he snaps his head to the side, seeing multiple officers dashing. “detective kang !” officer kim sprints into the room. “you need to come with us right now,” she looks completely out of breath. “what happened, what’s going on ?!” his stomach drops as he gets up from his seat. “one of the cortis members…he had an accident,” she struggles to catch her breath. hyeok-jin’s confused, what does that have to do with him ?

“i mean is he okay ? but i’m not a cop so why do i-” “that’s not the reason why you have to come along,” she interrupts him. “we found y/n.” hyeok-jin freezes, eyes widening, “found ?” his friend nods. so many thoughts cross his mind yet he can only ask one question. “is she alive ?” his voice comes out quieter than intended. officer kim looks at him, her parted lips let out an exhale before pressing into a thin line.

CORTIS — jealousbf!martin x 6thmemberfem!reader 

GENRE: established relationship, member x member, slight jealousy, reader as a member protective, possessive, suggestive, light bickering.

WARNINGS:  reader kinda written as short, suggestive themes, intense eye contact, pinning against a wall/mirror, possessive language, physical closeness, light hair pulling/neck touching., mentions of james, reader as a 6th member, mentions of murder in sleep(like the figurative language, no killing cs i don't like to trigger ppl or myself💔😭), light bickering

SYNOPSIS: Hanging out in the practice rooms during a break seems harmless until James decides to teach you a choreo. Watching from across the floor, Martin’s pride gets a little too tangled up with his boyfriend instincts, leading to a very private lesson the second they're left alone.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: listen.. guys i honestly js wanted to write so idk WHAT this is. brace yourselves martin stans.. hope u guys enjoy <3

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Characters are based on public personas only. Nothing here reflects real-life relationships or behavior. Please do not repost, translate, or copy my work to other platforms. Reblogs & comments are appreciated but never required!.

P.S: if u dislike stories eith reader as a member, js imagine u arent! oh and anything in parentheses is my commentary! also DO NOT ask where juhoon, seonghyeon, n keonho r. lets just say they all split their ways the second they heard "water break"

MASTERLIST | taglist

SYN . It's a well known joke in the group that Juhoon's got a thing for Martin's older sister. But when the time comes when your boyfriend actually starts slacking off, Juhoon wastes no time to swoop in and take his chances.

✏️ ... whoop! my first ever juhoon fic lolz lemme know watchu think this is inspired by shinee's replay

JAMES

fever

architecturally pleasing

blonde hair

back to you

where'd you get that

not yours

cornered

just this once

lieutenant

ride

national anthem

never let go

after hours

intoxicating

fight dirty

close isn't close enough

my girl

in need of you

late night conversations for the platonically doomed

forks in the road

midnight fiction

JUHOON

moon lovers

too much?

4me4me

love is

a suitable arrangement

not like him at all

pretty when you cry

clingy

fate

the man who can't be moved

apocalypse

MARTIN

boyfriend!martin

daydreams of you

his wish was you

accidentally, lovingly

bf!martin taking care of you when you're sick

kiss me more

do i have what it takes?

six foot three, zero dignity

bro's the type to

yappatron

SEONGHYEON

just one day

stay with me

keonho knows best

looking the wrong way

love alphabet

little things

bf!seonghyeon

just because

what lovers do

you didn't have to wait for me

midnight snack

first drink

kissing boys is not something i do often

okay, me time now!

telepathy love

so in love with you

wherever you are

ms. independent and mr. act of service

the petty silent treatment

let's go shopping

ambivalence

seventeen candles

brace yourself

bro's the type to

me & u

erm... awkward

hollywood action

KEONHO

opposites attract

green eyed monster

come get your man!

champagne borrowed & someone blue

i'm not cute anymore

blanket pile

chapstick trend

happy birthday, spidey

sleepyhead

summer fever

tutoring w know-it-all keonho

golden retriever x black cat

unblock!

barbie and ken

recommended for you (and me)

told ya so

focus on me

fade into you

OT5

BF headcanons

you got sick?

blah blah blah.. proper name...

ur my bf??

➪ you disappear hours after a concert, your family reports you missing but the company states that you left voluntarily. nothing makes sense. all anyone can ask is, where are you ?

➪ “i fucking hate how people talk about you, acting like you weren't our best friend” - e.m. part one.

i. IT’S JUST A SHAME, THAT'S ALL

you disappear hours after a concert, your family reports you missing but the company states that you left voluntarily. cctv shows differently. nothing makes sense, especially with everyone moving on so fast.

ii. IT’S JUST A SHAME, THAT’S ALL — THROUGH THE LENS OF MARTIN

martin's seen you time and time again get smart with staff, it's no wonder that something was bound to happen, at least in his opinion.

iii. IT’S JUST A SHAME, THAT’S ALL — THROUGH THE LENS OF CORTIS

continuation to part one and part two. cortis tries their best to continue living normal lives without the core part of their group. can they manage without you ?

ijasta taglist one : @httpsbarsbymars @skyeincc @leehansglubblub @elmistay @oribby @2bamgyu @trsh-kitty @janjoonty @kabekusa @vanilladictator @kozumekenma55-blog @anglheartz @sillypicklepastaperson-blog @hironosushiis @autumnbellflower @snow0-0fairy @mrssuna @bakupakuu @lazyloverblaze @cortisen5 @justwanttoreadfics @joannakoll @yvalrik @azywhwa @pantone-12-1310 @abbyyprofenn @evaflms @seonghwabb @ghostgirlgone27 @mmspaghetti @pearthesimp @jixcd @samsung-67 @mokkicchi @mikauraurr @kallistaki12 @sunshine-sun42 @biscuitjuice @lilbieberr @eiannie @dedlexte @kanieknowsball @prongsisdaddy @chaosbunn1 @skyeincc @coconhovr @narcissanarcissa @ranlys @amouriities @snowflakemoon3

ijasta taglist two : @amouriities @snowflakemoon3 @wonheeloves @x0621 @reahwritesletters @stxr-lilac @sapphireserpens @lilbieberr @gxwon-ddxrori @jene11 @pxronbeat1 @ri-eveowe @ijustchokeonacaii @naomisaikko @soobieboobiee553 @wovenjinxterminus @ssaniyaa @tinybitofhope @kismetute @zooweemimi @msarbuz @laartistaroja @rikiswaifuu @nafnaiden000

taglist is open. i didn’t include my general taglist and cortis taglist because then it’d be like four different lists but trust, you guys WILL be tagged too, don’t worry.

Lacy, oh, Lacy

summary: the three times jack abbot compared you to someone else vs. the one time you were exactly who he wanted but couldn't have anymore.

tags: jack abbot x reader, angst, deep insecurities, jack compares you to samira, robby, and his late-wife (I named her alice), a few scene changes but it's for the plot, trying out [name] but if I don't like it, it's back to y/n for all of you, jack is lowkey an asshole on accident (thinks he's meaning well by complimenting others, but tears you apart in the process), medical inaccuracies, hurt/no comfort (at least for jack), eventual breakup, special end scene guest star, age gape (28-32/50), heavily inspired by lacy by olivia rodrigo (which I suggest listening to while you read) and all the feels that come with that, 18+ MDNI

notes: this hurt to write, and this better hurt y'all in the best angsty way possible! just a reminder that my requests for the hatosyverse are open, and that I'm doing smutty blurbs to build my writing abilities, enjoy!

word count: 7.4k

IRONIC, HUH?

Summary- when you have been hating a boy for days because he bought the jacket you wanted off of depop but he turns out to be your Cortis bias…

Idol!Martinxfem!reader

PART TWO

<rewind Fast forward>

extra! extra! read all about it! 🗞️ mars is in his feelings and he can’t get out of it 😵‍💫📰

જ⁀➴ ♡ HEART TO HEART — a belated martin edwards valentines smau 🦔<3🦔

in an attempt to prove he does know how to talk to a pretty girl, martin edwards needs a date to keonho’s valentines-birthday party by friday. with his charming personality and gorgeous smile like no other, it won’t be hard for him to twirl someone into pretending to be his plus one — the actual challenge lies in making sure he doesn’t catch genuine feelings, so that all his firsts are still saved for the real thing.

⤷ 💌 a boy who wants nothing more than to fall in love for real + the girl who’s sworn off of relationships, in the ultimate cliche of a fake dating scheme? these hearts don’t stand a chance 😪😪

❝ how come we've never even dated, but i still find myself thinking of you daily ? ❞

pairing ; idol!martin edwards park x idol!reader

synopsis ; You and Martin were inseparable as kids. but ever since he got a girlfriend, you decide to put your feelings aside and cut him off, focusing on your own idol career.

But now that he's also debuted—meaning that you'll be seeing him often everywhere, Martin refuses to stop bugging you he finally finds out why you ghosted him in the first place.

featuring ; NewJeans (all members), CORTIS (all members), TripleS (a handful of members) and even more to be introduced !

tags / warnings ; fem!reader, tall!reader, social media!au (with some written parts), newjeans member!reader, avoidant!reader childhood friends to lovers trope, fluff, toxic relationship aspects, cheating, miscommunication trope, slowburn (?)

taglist status ; open until june 10 !

NEWJEANS ! | CORTIS ! + MARTIN'S GF !

TRACKLIST ♪

PROLOGUE ; where it all fell apart

CH. OO1 ; may zeus himself strike me down—

CH. OO2 ; this gun ain't pink

CH. OO3 ; crazier than usual

CH. OO4 ; (jun 13)

mysterious stranger in my phone -how to pull an idol (a series)

idol!martin x reader ⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖When you let a random stranger rant for a whole ten minutes, you not only gain a new favorite band but also a devestating crush. ݁‧₊˚⋆ִֶָ

previous warnings: cussing

@doofydumbfuck @stxr-lilac @mikienreverie @letterstohyeon @fak5mink @tetsur0-1 @cortisen5 @avis-writeshq @toomanyfanficsbruh @viennawaitsforyu @inadazeee @snowflakemoon3 @swagmoneyyoloholo @fvrgetmenot @enha4cortis @cookyland @claireo-o @keonono @samsung-67 @poutybzby @anastarsia-00 @somber-reads @seokiify @denae0o0 @cocopuffy @hajimeumemiya06 @heevanleen @autumnbellflower @sunoosun00 @sonyui @megamatt43 @zqxej @luvymelody @chrxsprettygirl @chaloiop @thelovethatilove @jakeycakeys @sidluvskeonho @snow0-0fairy @crazzzyyyy @d1-manonglazer @4everromie @mingimode @mimismachineheart @blossomxie @queena1l @wgucigu

PAIRING: Martin Edwards Park x Makeup artist!reader

WORD COUNT: 2.3K

SUMMARY: Martin Edwards Park’s new makeup artist seems cold, but is really trying to remain professional after being ‘too friendly’ at her last job. He slowly chips away at her stern demeanor, causing a whirlwind of emotions in both of them.

NOTES: Hi guys!!! I hope u guys like this cause I love this idea hehe thank my best friend for that... also beware, this has not been proofread.

You stood between a large vanity and a chair. In the chair sat Martin Edwards Park, a new, yet extremely popular K-pop idol in the group CORTIS. The bright LED lights around the vanity’s mirror lit up the entire space, glowing around him almost like a halo. Whether you’d like to admit it or not, he was gorgeous. And somehow, you were his new makeup artist.

As you stood in front of him, doing his makeup for some interview you weren’t informed about, he suddenly opened his mouth and spoke.

“So, what’s your name?” He said, looking up at you as you brush some powder off his face.

“ Y/n.” You simply say, your ΅tone colder than necessary. 

Silence fell over the two of you, tension slowly building in the air. That is, until Martin breaks the silence once again.

“…Well, I’m Martin.” He said, as if you didn't already know that.

“I know.” You state, continuing to work on his makeup.

As the room fell quiet once more, you noticed his eyes trailing over your face. It was subtle, but it seemed like he was looking over all of your facial features. Your stomach twisted in a knot. You found yourself wondering what he was thinking. Maybe he thought you were pretty, hot, or maybe you just had something on your face. You shook those ridiculous thoughts out of your head. 

“Well, I guess you're not much of a talker, huh?” He said, disturbing the tense, silent atmosphere once again.

You simply shake your head. His eyes skimmed over you once more, this time trailing down from your head to your shoes. 

“You're much different than my last makeup artist. He would just talk and talk and talk and talk.” He said, obviously trying to spark a conversation to keep the awkward silence away. You notice this and decide to respond at least a little. Small talk wouldn't destroy this job, right? It wouldn't end up like the last one.

“I try to remain professional.” You say, putting down a makeup brush and grabbing another.

“Why?” He questioned. He seemed very curious. Possibly even intrigued by you.

“Because…” You pause. Why did you stay professional? Other than the typical “I don't want to lose my job” bullshit. “Because I want to keep my job.” 

“Wow, very original. Now, why do you really stay strictly professional?” He said, seeing through your vague response.

It's not like you lied; you did want to keep this new job, but being professional definitely wasn't the main reason you remained strictly professional.

“I already told you.” You said, keeping your firm professional tone. You watched as he rolled his eyes, not buying it one bit.

You set down the makeup brush and glance over his face. His makeup looked flawless, though it wasn't just the makeup; he was just so beautiful.

“Okay, I'm done.” You state, backing up from in front of him. You watch as he nods and glances in the mirror, showing signs of approval as he looks at his reflection.

“Thanks. It looks good.” He said, glancing at you. You give a small nod.

A few days later, you stand at the vanity, organizing the products as you wait for Martin to arrive to get his makeup done for a photo shoot. Ever since that first time doing his makeup, you couldn't help but recall how he saw right through your act to cover up why you acted so professional.

“Hey,” a voice suddenly cuts through the air. You glance behind you to see Martin taking a seat in the vanity chair behind you.

“Hey, Martin.” You greeted calmly.

“So, how’s it been?” He said, obviously trying to spark a conversation. He still seemed to be very intrigued by your extremely professional façade. 

“Fine. Did you wash your face before you came in?” You respond. You had promised yourself to remain focused on only your job, not making friends. 

“Mhm. Did you think over my question?” 

You pause for a split second. You knew exactly what question he was talking about, but that didn’t mean you were going to act like it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Did you put on any skincare?”

“Just moisturizer, and come on, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t play dumb, y/n. Why are you so professional? You’re like a robot.”

You sigh, “Why should I even tell you? I don’t know you.” 

He pauses for a moment before grinning slightly, “touché. I guess you’ll just have to get to know me then.” He said, his grin growing as each word slipped past his lips.

You couldn’t help but glance over at him. His smirk was contagious; one began to slowly slither onto your face as well.

On that day, you and Martin talked the entire time you were doing his makeup. He would ask you things, questions like “How old are you?” “What's your last name?” “Middle name?” “If you were an animal, what animal would you be?” and so many more. It got to the point where his questions became so funny and random, you couldn't help but let out an occasional laugh, and every single time you did, you watched his eyes light up as he began laughing as well.

Then, Martin asked a question that seemed to make you freeze up once more. 

“So, what did you do before this job?” 

You paused, the brush in your hand paused mid-stroke against his cheek.

“What, did I say something wrong?” 

You sigh, “No, it's just… my last job ended on a bad note.”

“How come?” He said. The look in his eyes showed genuine interest, and something you couldn't quite pinpoint.

“There… was this big scandal.” You start, your hand softly sweeping the brush against his left cheekbone again.

“Scandal?” He repeated, his eyebrows furrowing slightly in confusion.

“Yeah,” You start, “ One of my clients, for attention, claimed I came onto him. I didn't, but it spread throughout the company, and I got fired. It ruined my reputation as a makeup artist for a year. Nobody would hire me. That was until I came here.” You explain, watching as his expression slowly morphs into one of pure confusion and shock.

“What? Somebody seriously diminished your entire reputation just for attention? Wouldn't that just attract the wrong type of attention anyway?”

“Mhm, it did. He ended up making a few more accusations, but the other women had proof against him, showing he would come onto them. This made him basically be exiled from Hollywood. Unfortunately for me, since I wasn't famous like the actresses who got him caught, nobody acknowledged the fact that he was lying about me as well.“

The look on his face was one of almost disgust. “I can't believe somebody would even do that in the first place. I mean, I feel bad when I forget to thank people for things!”He said, genuinely perplexed.

You couldn't help but let out a small laugh at his comment. The chuckle was followed by a small sigh. “Yeah, it's pretty insane.”You say. You paused for a moment. Did you really just spill out a deep story to your client? “Sorry, I didn't mean to bombard you with that story.”You quickly say.

He shakes his head almost instantly, almost making you mess up his makeup. “Don't be sorry. I like that you opened up. I'd much rather you blabbering stories at me when doing my makeup instead of staring into my soul like some tense robot.”

That got a laugh out of you. One that had a few people turning their heads.

“Well, thanks, Martin.”You say, a small smile creeping on your face as you pull the brush off his cheeks.

He smiled back, a wide, warm, and welcoming smile that made your stomach wind up in a knot.

As time passed, you spent weeks doing Martin's makeup. All for events like concerts, music videos, or even just going to the airport. Every time he sat in that chair, you couldn't help but smile and laugh the whole time. He went out of his way to amuse you, whether that was corny dad jokes or crazy stories. It seemed that each time you two saw each other again, there was something in the air. Something that would make teenage girls say things like ‘Oooooooooh’. 

It was a Tuesday, a Tuesday when Martin was sitting in front of you as you did his makeup. For an unknown reason, he seemed more silent this time; more observant. His eyes seemed to follow and scan over your every move, whether that be grabbing a product or even stretching your arms.

You turn your back to him to grab a product from the vanity, and when you turn back, you see his chocolatey brown eyes looking up at you with something that resembles both passion and possibly affection. When you spot this, you couldn't help but smile slightly.

“What's that look for?”

“Hm? What looks?”He muttered, his gaze on you not faltering even for a second.

“You're looking at me like you're..I don't know… feeling some deep emotions.”

He chuckled slightly, his eyes finally shifting down to his shoes. “No reason.”

You may have been many things, but you were not blind. 

“Whatever you say.” You mumble, proceeding with his makeup.

By the time you're finished, you feel almost exposed. His eyes were on you nearly the whole time. A storm was brewing in his eyes; one that almost worried you.

“Alright. I'm done, Martin.” You said, moving out from in front of him so he could look in the mirror.

His eyes followed you for a moment before shifting towards the mirror, where he paused. His eyebrows furrowed together as he leaned forward in the seat to get a better look.

You notice this, asking, “Hey, what's wrong?”

His eyes stay plastered on his reflection as he speaks, “Why did you put so much blush on me..?”

What? You were confused. “What do you mean?”

“Y/n. Look at my face, I'm like a tomato!” He said, his voice raising ever-so-slightly.

“Martin, I didn't put any blush on you; I never do.” You say.

He freezes. You watch as his face turns even redder. “What?”

“I'm serious.” You ensure.

His face shifts from irritation to embarrassment. He stood up from the chair. “I gotta go. I'm running late for the photoshoot.” He mumbled before rushing off. The time was 2:02. He was supposed to be there for photos at 2:30.

The next day, you wait for him at the vanity. You had to ask what yesterday was about. Was it what you were thinking? You hoped, but you also didn't. You were emotionally confused.

Soon, he walks in and plops down in the chair. He was acting casual, but the way his foot tapped against the floor told you a different story.

“Morning.” You greet, “So, how was your shoot yesterday?”

 “Good. Just a standard shoot. It wasn't anything too crazy this time.” He said.

You nod, grabbing a few products and setting them out. “So, can I ask what happened yesterday?”

Silence suddenly swarms the area. You glance at him and notice the way he held himself; tense as hell.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, do I seriously need to quote you now? Don’t play dumb, Martin.”You said, quoting his earlier words to you. This made him sigh. 

“I was just a little nervous, okay?”He said, a hint of defensiveness in his tone.

“Why?”

“Because I just was.” He quipped back a bit too fast.

“Martin.” You said in a stern tone.

He let out a huff. “You're just pretty okay? I couldn't help but really look at you yesterday, and I noticed things, like your eyes. They're just so gorgeous, and they really say who you are. The glimmer in them, the way you squint when you're focused, it's so… captivating.”

Silence falls over you two again, this time much more tense. You stared down at him in pure shock. You felt your stomach doing that weird flip again. It almost made you nauseous.

“What?” You said, your voice barely audible.

“Y/n, I think I'm falling for you.” He spit out, his voice growing weaker, like he was unsure of what he should and shouldn't tell you.

Your world felt like it had stopped spinning, as it had imploded. 

“Martin, I can't, I- I work for you.”

“No, don't say that. I know you're scared because of your last job, but think about it. That wasn't real. He lied. I'm dead serious, and even if the world learned about us, I would never let your career be destroyed again. I'm serious, Y/n.”

His words were so obviously genuine, and it made your heart stutter. The way he looked up at you, his eyes pleading, no yearning for you to give him a chance, made it nearly impossible to even consider saying no. You felt his warm hand reach out and grab your own, squeezing it just enough to grab your attention once more.

“Give me a chance; Just one date.” He said, his eyes begging you more than words could.

You sigh. He knew just how to break you down and win you over.

“One date.” You said, agreeing.

You watched as his face lit up like a child on its birthday. He smiled, showing more teeth than you had ever seen him show.

“Okay, one date.” He repeats. “That's all it'll take to prove that you're falling for me too.”

“If you say so, Martin.” You say, a grin spreading across your face.

What began as awkward, fresh coworker interactions became something that no other person had ever made you feel before. It's not fear, or anger, or even despair. It was genuine affection.

MASTERLIST

idols • found family • slow burn • angst • unresolved feelings

SYNOPSIS: When HYBE announces the addition of a sixth member to the nation's fastest-rising boy group, the backlash is immediate. Fans call her unnecessary, the media calls her a mistake, and some members aren't sure she belongs there at all. Thrown into a group that never expected her and a spotlight that never wanted her, Yona is forced to prove herself over and over again while carrying the weight of being the girl who changed everything.

TAGS/WARNING: y/n is yona short for yo(ur) na(me), female mc, mentions of depression, mental health, probably s/h, idol life, extremely slow burn, found family, unresolved feelings, emotional damage, ot!5, angst maybe, platonic???, might add more tags in the future idk, why am i treating this as ao3

BOOK I — THE SIXTH NAME

01 ⠀|⠀02 ⠀|⠀03 ⠀|⠀ 04⠀|⠀05⠀|⠀06⠀|⠀07⠀|⠀08 ⠀|⠀09⠀|⠀09 .5⠀| 10⠀|⠀ 11⠀|⠀12⠀|⠀13 ⠀|⠀14 ⠀|⠀15 ⠀|⠀16⠀|⠀17 ⠀|⠀18 ⠀|⠀19 ⠀|⠀20⠀|⠀21⠀|⠀22⠀|⠀23⠀|⠀24⠀|⠀25 ⠀|⠀26⠀|⠀27⠀|⠀28⠀|⠀29⠀|⠀30⠀|⠀31⠀|⠀32 ⠀|⠀33⠀|⠀34⠀|⠀35⠀|⠀36⠀|⠀37⠀| 38⠀|⠀39⠀|⠀40⠀|⠀41⠀|⠀42

——ᓚᘏᗢ——

SPECIAL CHAPTERS

Random text mssgs from the boys - How Yona saves her members' contacts + texting habits

© haneurin. All Rights Reserved.

Please do not copy, repost, translate, adapt, or claim this work as your own.

This story is a personal creative project and may not be re-uploaded to any platform without permission.

(please i'm emotionally attached to them too.)

TAGLIST still open!:

✉︎ synopsis, when keonho accidentally hits you at a music event and fails to realise, he messages you to apologise. one misunderstanding leads to animosity between the maknaes of both the groups. eventually, both groups join forces to get their stubborn youngest ones together.

✉︎ pairing, ahn keonho x KATSEYE 7th member reader [smau + written series]

✉︎ author's note, official masterlist for the series!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ controversy 1- y/n got beat up again

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ controversy 2- is this jimin and jeongyeon all over again?

notes :: idol!martin x nonidol!reader, bf martin, angst, martin driving lol, also i don’t feel like writing a synopsis lol :p

01 02 03

wc :: 2.4k

The second he sees the tears streaming down your face, Martin knows he’s screwed. His expression doesn’t waver, but his heart is practically screaming at him to give in to you and end this. His eyes stay fixed on the steering wheel, hands gripping it so tightly that his knuckles turn white. “baby, don’t—”

You turn and face the window, memories of the beginning of your relationship flashing in your mind. Martin bites down on his bottom lip, staring hard at the side of your head. He wants to reach out and hold you— like he would usually do whenever you got upset.

A part of him was hoping you’d argue with him. That you’d call him out and throw his own words back in his face. Instead, you sit there and let your tears fall, quiet and compliant in your seat. His chest tightens, a lump rising in his throat. He swallows it back, but his voice still comes out a little hoarse when he talks again. "Stop crying, please"

Again, you decided to stay quiet and wipe your tears. That familiar sharp pain shoots through his chest at the sight of you trying to wipe away your tears. He knows he could easily help you—he could reach over and brush your tears away with his own thumb, murmur his apologies in your ear and hold you in his lap until you were completely calm. Martin lets out a frustrated sigh, hands tightening their grip on the steering wheel. "Baby, come on.”

“Im done” You whisper and turn towards the window. The second you speak, Martin stiffens, the muscles in his jaw tensing. His eyes flicker over to the side of your face, trying to read your expression but you're looking at the window instead of him—and it's somehow worse than seeing those pained eyes. "Please just look at me." His voice is soft and strained as he finally releases his grip on the steering wheel, a hand hovering over your leg as he internally debates with his head and his heart.

“Please pull over Martin”

Those three words cause anxiety to spike through his veins, and it takes every amount of self-preservation he has to keep himself from stopping right in the middle of the road. He hesitates for a second but finally sighs, finding a nearby parking lot and pulling the car into an empty spot.

You take a deep breath and turn in your seat so you’re fully facing Martin. The second you finally face him, his heart stops in his chest. He takes in your tear-stained face, his eyes drifting down to the way your fingers slightly tremble in your lap.

His heart pounds in his ears and he swallows thickly, unable to look away from your pleading eyes. Martin’s stomach twists as he stares at you, and it takes every single ounce of will in his body not to reach out and pull you into his arms. Not to kiss away every tear that's left your eyes and apologize for being the reason they appeared in the first place. His mouth moves to say something, but nothing but a strangled breath comes out.

You're breaking his resolve and he knows it. You take a deep breath and decide to speak, “What are you thinking Martin.” Martin’s chest tightens at the sound of your voice and his heart thuds against his ribcage, the urge to just give into all of the overwhelming, conflicting emotions he feels consuming him. "I..." He trails off for a second, his eyes tracing the lines of your face and taking in every little detail.

“No really Martin,” You are getting irritated now and just want an answer more than anything. “Tell me, because i can’t see at all.” Martin swallows against the lump in his throat and looks down at your lap, a wave of emotions hitting him like a freight train. He knows that you deserve an answer to try and understand what's going through his head. "I'm just..." His voice is quiet, but strained with every ounce of restraint he has. A sharp breath of air leaves his lungs as Martin closes his eyes, his heart thundering loud in his chest.

Martin’s chest feels like it's ready to explode at any moment, and his heart aches at the pleading look in your eyes. He takes in another breath, struggling to find the words he's always been so good at speaking. "I'm... I'm not good, okay?" The words come out in a low, strained voice, and he can feel his own emotions start to bubble to the surface. "Right now, I'm scared that if I give in and hold you now, I'll forget all the reasons I had to try pushing you away in the first place." Your heart skips a beat at his words, the sound of his voice, so soft and vulnerable, causes a new wave of tears to build behind your eyes.

You sniffle, trying to keep the tears at bay, but your vision begins to blur. "Tell me those reasons Martin." His heart twists even tighter in his chest as he sees the tears building in your eyes again. His own chest is tight, and it's getting hard for him to breathe—hard to think. His hands twitch on top of his knees, desperate to reach out for you, but he manages to hold back. He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I feel like..." He swallows thickly. "I feel like you deserve better than this."

He gestures between the two of you, the weight of all the unsaid words sitting heavily in the air. His voice is strained as he speaks again, his eyes never leaving your face. "I'm a mess. I'm always working and I can't give you the attention you deserve. I can't give you everything you need." The words taste bitter on his tongue, and every fiber of his being is screaming at him to take them back. To give in and hold you like he's been craving to. But somehow, he keeps going, his voice getting quieter.

"You deserve someone who is consistent to take you out on dates, and always surprise you with flowers and gifts, and make you feel special all the time." He pauses, the weight of his words catching in his throat, and the memory of your smile flashes in his mind. The way your eyes would light up whenever he'd hold your hand, or bring you something special on a random day. His voice is barely above a whisper now, the ache in his heart almost unbearable. "And I can't do any of that for you because I'm so busy with work all the time and our new tour is coming up and— i just don’t want you to have to feel like i don’t care."

He finally finds the courage to look directly into your eyes, the pain and guilt he feels mirrored back at him in the tears that are falling again. His chest tightens at the sight, and it takes everything in his power to continue talking. The urge to just reach out and wipe away your tears is nearly overwhelming, but he forces himself to stay in place. "You deserve so much better than me." His voice is rough, a mixture of sadness and frustration. The silence that follows his words feels like a punch to the gut, and his heart races in his chest, waiting for you to respond. His hands twitch again, the urge to just give in and hold you nearly overpowering him. He swallows hard and opens his eyes, looking at you again. The sight of your tear-stained face causes a fresh wave of guilt to wash over him. His voice is strained as he speaks, "You should be with someone who can give you what you deserve, not… me."

“Okay” you strain out, not having the will to discuss this any further. You know him. You know that trying to fix this will only make it feel worse. He takes a deep breath, his voice strained as he speaks again.

"I hope you understand. I'm trying to do what's best for you. You need someone who can give you all of their attention. Someone who can give you everything you need and want." His words sound more like he's trying to convince himself rather than you. He can see the pain and confusion in your eyes, and it's tearing him apart inside. He wants nothing more than to just give up this stupid internal battle he's been fighting against himself and take you back into his arms. But the fear of not being good enough for you, the fear of ruining you.. it's stronger than the desire to hold you.

“Just take me home Martin.” You spit out, more irritated than you wanted it to sound. The whole situation and what lead up to it is blinding you from the reality of your relationship, so you decide to be angry at Martin. Angry at him for pushing you away. The bitterness in your voice sends a jolt of pain to his heart. He knows he deserves your anger, but the sight of tears still slipping down your cheeks is gut-wrenching. When you tell him to take you home the guilt is washing over him in overwhelming waves.

Without a word, he turns the key in the ignition, pulls out of the parking lot and starts the drive towards your house. The silence in the car is overwhelming, and he can feel the tension radiating off of you. He can practically hear your thoughts and emotions through the silence. He grips the steering wheel tightly, the guilt and pain consuming him. Every fiber of his being is begging Martin to say something, to try and make this right, but he keeps his mouth shut, knowing that anything he says at this point will only make matters worse.

The drive to your house feels like an eternity, each minute that ticks by is a minute longer he has to withstand the suffocating silence in the car. As he pulls into your driveway, his heart sinks even further. He shifts the car into park and sits there for a moment, staring at his hands rather than looking at you. His hands remain on the wheel, and he can feel the weight of your anger and disappointment settling over him like a heavy blanket. Every instinct in his body is telling him to turn and apologize, to beg for your forgiveness and to make this right. But he knows that's pointless and he only has himself to blame.

You open the door and start wiping the tears on your cheeks as you walk up to your front door, remembering the days when he wouldn’t let you get out the car until he was on the passenger side to open the door for you. When you get out of the car, he follows suit, quickly moving around the car to join you. Martin’s heart tightens as he watches you wipe away your tears, the guilt and pain in his chest almost unbearable. His hands itch to reach out for you, to pull you close and never let go, but he keeps his distance. Instead, he walks silently beside you towards your front door.

You turn around and stare at him, hoping he sees how hurt you are and takes everything back. His heart quickens at the sight of your teary eyes, and he swallows hard as you turn to face him. He stands a few feet away, the space between you feeling like a million miles. His hands twitch at his sides, the urge to reach out and touch you nearly overwhelming. He forces himself to stay still, his eyes locked on your face.

"I... I'm sorry."

“If you really meant that Martin, we wouldn’t be here right now.” you say. “I won’t wait for us anymore”

As you turn to open the door, his heart tightens at your words. He's been slowly pushing you away for weeks, but hearing you say that him like a punch to the gut. Just as you're about to enter, he reaches out and grabs your hand, his fingertips brushing against your skin. The words are out of his mouth before he can stop himself.

"I love you." The moment the words leave his lips, Matt's heart constricts in his chest, and the world seems to stand still. He grips your hand tightly in his, his thumb gently running over the back of your knuckles. His eyes are fixed on your face, searching your expression for any sign of a reaction. His voice is quieter than he intends, the raw honesty in it is completely vulnerable. "I love you so much. More than you'll ever know."

“I love you too Martin” you whisper as you enter your home. Those three words, coming from your lips, send a wave of relief and longing through his body. The sound of them is both the greatest and most painful thing he's ever heard. He stands there for a moment, watching as you enter the house and close the door. His heart is racing, his mind replaying those words over and over again. He loves you, and you still love him, despite everything. Martin stands on your doorstep for a moment longer, his hand still extended towards the closed door. His heart is pounding and his mind is tangled in a mess of emotions.

Finally, he lets his hand drop to his side and he takes a deep breath, the reality of everything that just happened starting to sink in. He stands there, staring at the door, as his mind and emotions go through the wringer. A large part of him that wants to knock on the door, to walk in and take everything back, to hold you close and never let go.

But he knows he needs to give you space. He knows that he will continue to hurt you and push you away, and giving you the space you need is crucial.

Reluctantly, he forces himself to take a step back. His heart is still racing and his body is tense, his mind still filled with a million different thoughts and emotions. He wants to stay standing there until he knows you're okay, but he knows he can't. With a final glance at the closed door, he turns and starts walking back to his car, his heart heavy with guilt, love, and uncertainty.

Did he do the right thing?

writers note: ok so this is really old and was originally not for martin but i changed it so ya😇

ꔛ SYN :: your summer job consisted of working boring hours at a dead convenience store in the middle of your tiny home town when soon you found yourself waiting patiently for a regular customer who you weren’t even sure noticed your presence in the first place . . . ◂𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘧 ◂𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦!

𓏵 CW :: ─── yearning, strangers to ??, swearing, fluff

아기 마틴 ✶ martin x you WC: ²²¹¹ 🍙🛒

Everyday was the same except now schools over, it’s 100 degrees outside and your ass of a boss decided it’d be funny to schedule you a closing shift everyday for the next two weeks.

That meant no parties, no sleepovers, no hangouts… no hangovers. Just like long sweaty days and bitchy customers…

“That’ll be $8.88...” You mumbled as a tiny box fan blew at your right shoulder—it doing no justice against the broiling June heat. You scoffed quietly when the customer threw a dirty ten dollar bill down and left without another word.

You sat back down on the stool behind the countertop with a dramatic plop and rested your head on your palm watching the tv replay the same 5 minutes of the same news channel.

That was the 2nd customer in an hour and you couldn’t be on your phone or your boss who sat in the office behind you would throw a hissy fit. You sighed.

5:55… 6 hours until you could go home and bedrot, you smirked recalling a funny tiktok you saw earlier that day, laughing to yourself out loud like a lunatic when a customer stepped quietly up to the register which quickly pulled you out of your daydream.

“You laughing at me?” The tall boy smiled down at you his head tilted slightly, his shaggy hair resting flawlessly atop his broad shoulders.

You looked up in annoyance anticipating another creepy old man but it was surprisingly quite the opposite? The boy looked about your age, his voice oddly familiar—oddly warm, from only a few feet away you could smell a sweet cashmere musk radiating off of his neck which was stacked with silver necklaces, just by the way he dressed you could tell he liked fashion or at least cared about what he looked like but most striking of all his smile was just so bright…

“Uhm.. Hello?” He said waving his hand in front of your frozen gaze, followed by a short concerned chuckle.