obligatory mom friend ™

These may have been edited for clarity or length or to better apply for roleplaying.

❛ You’re not very scared of me, are you? ❜

❛ What’s going on up there? ❜

❛ Who the hell are you? ❜

❛ I’m sure I can handle whatever it is. ❜

❛ I just have this feeling that everything is going to work out just fine. ❜

❛ Are you okay? ❜

❛ I was recently dead, so I think I’ll mend. ❜

❛ Worst. Spring Break. Ever. ❜

❛ It’s kind of hard to miss. ❜

❛ You and I, we can’t talk like this anymore. ❜

❛ Tell me where he/she/they is before I blow your head off. ❜

❛ No one should ever have to be alone like this! ❜

❛ Okay, I need your help. I’m going for Meghan Markle tasteful. ❜

❛ Oh, look, it’s Satan … in a crop top. ❜

❛ Come to burn my world down? ❜

❛ What do you want? ❜

❛ Hey, I didn’t see you at breakfast. ❜

❛ Trusting you is what got us into this mess. ❜

❛ What’s with the performance anxiety? ❜

❛ I was making an entrance, mop head. ❜

❛ Aren’t you supposed to help? ❜

❛ Why should I believe you? ❜

❛ Everybody lies. ❜

❛ Some people just want to watch the world burn. ❜

❛ We’re gonna give these townies a taste of what we’re really made of. ❜

❛ We are a school for the supernatural, which covers a lot of territory. ❜

❛ If you had it I wouldn’t have to say it. ❜

❛ People in town said it was for troubled rich kids. I see the rich part is true. ❜

❛ You’re the one that’s always telling me I need to get out more. ❜

❛ I tell you that you need to stop locking yourself in your dorm room binge-watching Cutthroat Kitchen. ❜

❛ Do you think I’m broken? ❜

❛ She was the best person I knew. Pretty much loved her in that way that they say only exists in movies. ❜

❛ People who say that are the people who have never had their hearts crushed. ❜

❛ This isn’t much of an after party. ❜

❛ I see you’ve decided to double down on your nihilism this morning.

❛ I’m trying to be rich with honesty. ❜

❛ Hot tip: next time you burn your ex’s hair off, make sure she can’t rock a lob. ❜

❛ Consider this a life lesson; people disappoint. ❜

❛ As fun as this hurricane of toxic masculinity is, I have to get to class. ❜

❛ I’m sorry. Is the fact that I’m not openly hostile to you make it seem like we’re back to being friends? ❜

❛ So do you want to play good cop or bad cap? Because I don’t think emo cop is a thing. ❜

❛ You know, you’re not going to lose the election over an outfit. ❜

❛ What did I ever do to make you hate me so much? ❜

❛ It’s not about you. Shocking, I know. ❜

❛ You’ve left her with no room for herself. ❜

❛ She doesn’t have time for a relationship because you are a black hole of time and energy of love just sucking it all up, never giving any of it back. ❜

❛ She won’t ever burn your world down, so I will do it for her. ❜

❛ If you could just put down the crossbow, my freak out level is about eleven right now. ❜

❛ You’re messing with me. ❜

❛ So what, you’re just going to stay in your room alone while everybody else is out having fun? ❜

❛ When are you going to take care of you? ❜

❛ This world needs the selfless and the selfish to keep spinning. ❜

❛ You seem morally inclined enough to do something stupid. ❜

❛ Bad liars look away when they lie to their kids. Good liars look them straight in the eye.❜

❛ I hate that you always see me when I’m weak. ❜

❛ You’re not weak. You’re a survivor. And that makes you one of the strongest people I know. ❜

❛ You gotta stop beating yourself up about this. ❜

❛ You’ve never had free booze before. ❜

❛ Please keep these two from trying to kill or die for each other. ❜

❛ You do not get to be the martyr. That was my job. ❜

❛ So you think you’re a superhero or something? ❜