having many thoughts about david and asher’s friendship and how it’s evolved over the years
so far in their stories, we know more about david than we do asher. hell, we don’t even have asher’s last name, nor do we know if he’s got parents, family, anyone else besides the pack members that aren’t his bio family.
in asher’s video after the first solstice party, he says that he’s scared to let his relationship with david change, but what if he was afraid of it feeling set in stone? he says that he needs to step up more and take his role seriously but what if he’s completely ignoring and discrediting himself?
david’s an observant guy. he’s always had to be, and just is by nature. gabe always joked that if his head could swivel a full 360, he’d start calling him an owl. but when gabe dies, he doesn’t notice much anymore.
asher takes over the solstice parties; the planning, catering, decorating, budgeting for the supplies all falls on him. he doesn’t take any credit for it, just lets the pack members that have the space for it take it instead. he visits david almost everyday, whether it’s to bring a meal if he knows he doesn’t want to cook or to “talk” but really he’s doing dishes or cleaning something when david’s not looking. it’s intuition for him, to know david even if he won’t say what’s wrong.
it’s asher that’s followed up pack meetings with emails listing summaries of the points, and scheduled secret ones in advance. it’s him that’s dealt with pack issues that could’ve gone to david, but he knows that his best friend’s barely floating right now and the last he wants is to bother him.
it’s not until after the inversion, when asher’s dropping off some paperwork for some behind-the-scenes training for miguel, that david sees the darkness under his eyes. he notices the worry that’s seemed to permanently under paint asher’s expressions. his posture’s tight and there’s a heaviness that wasn’t on his shoulders before. or was it? asher doesn’t seem bothered by it. in fact, he seems, used to it. the normal lightheartedness isn’t radiating from him anymore. the joke he made about david taking forever to answer the door seems strained at best. asher’s legs and fingers don’t seem to ever stop moving when he’s sitting on david’s couch: like he might break if he stops. the stillness has become his enemy and david’s finally noticed how asher seems to resemble atlas in that moment. it comes out clumsy and unsure, his question to asher if he’s alright and he sees the dam crack a bit more. he shakes his head, his curls bouncing slightly and his smile seems too wide. too tight. his whole body is on edge, like a rubber band about to snap.
he pushes a bit more, testing the boundary. asher insists he’s okay, he’s just a bit worried about a couple matters that were brought up, but regret immediately washes over his face, like he spilled a secret he was entrusted not to say.
david asks what problems and asher replies with oh you know, the usual little things that you don’t have to bother with. and he pushes again. because what things shouldn’t i bother with? this is my job.
asher’s fists curl into themselves a bit as he waves it off, the laugh a half note too high for his best friend and david’s alarms are going off. this isn’t asher. this isn’t the happy-go-lucky beta he grew up with. this is a different man and david’s not sure when he changed.
david’s tone softens when he sits next to him and asks him to be honest.
the dam breaks and asher’s vomiting the past four years and how he planned the solstice parties and made sure he was fed, and the apartment was clean and angel was being taken care of after their own breakdown and taking them to therapy and getting their meds and working so much that his own mate has to force him to hand off three/four events a week so he’ll take a day off once in a while.
the entire time asher’s speaking, his throat is on fire and he emphasizes how much he does not blame david for not being able to function normally because hell, he hasn’t been able to function “normally” in so long and the talk he had with him was a genuine concern.
david’s finally realized how much he’s missed and he apologizes for unintentionally pushing that much responsibility onto him and asher’s laughing through his tears saying that it’s so him to think he did something wrong but david i’m your best friend and your beta. i know what you can handle, and all that time, you couldn’t do it alone, like you thought you could. and how he doesn’t ever want him to blame him.
he finally sees how much ash has grown and matured. and while he may be more serious when the time calls for it, his best friend will always be the same free-spirited, slightly childish man.
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