hi how are you doing? i miss your arts they always make my heart warm, your narusasu are wonderful 🧡💙
Well…
People always ask, "how are you?" probably just to check whether you're still around, or simply out of politeness, don't they? No one truly wonders how another person is really doing. When we ask someone how are you? we're less interested in how they actually are and more in checking whether they're there, expecting nothing more than an "I'm fine". Maybe like many other people, i should simply answer with I'm fine or i'm busy, or something short and then stay quiet again… but that's not what I want to do right now
(so if you're sensitive, please don't read the rest of this post).
Writing is easier than feeling…
I don't know if anyone remembers, but after this post, my life fell apart in so many ways. Yes… one of those things is that i've somehow started losing another cat every 2 years. I don't know if these are just coincidences, but even now one of my cats (he's only three and a half years old) is fighting for his life. We adopted him after the cat from my previous post passed away, hoping he would ease that pain, even just a little. But just a few days ago we found out he has leukemia, and unfortunately the veterinarians aren't hopeful at all. On top of that, he has anemia and he also has a tumor that keeps growing inside him. Because of that tumor, he's struggling to breathe and we've started leaving him at the veterinary clinic every day so he can stay in intensive care and receive oxygen. Actually, he was supposed to have surgery for the tumor a few days ago. I'd been saving money for quite a while to cover the expenses, and just when i finally managed to gather enough, the veterinarian told us they couldn't perform the surgery. 'cause his test results were too bad, and they said he wouldn't survive the operating table. So we gave up. He's breathing more than 60 times a minute. Thankfully, his tongue and gums haven't turned blue yet, but I know he's not okay.
And maybe this is just a small detail, but summer has arrived too… and he's a long haired cat. What I mean is, where we live (in the south of Turkey) summers reach 45°C, and because he's struggling to breathe, he spends the entire day sitting on the balcony. The veterinarian has already started talking about euthanasia…
……i'm trying not to be negative. But things don't look good, and my heart can't take this much pain anymore. I've even been taking medication for a heart rhythm disorder for more than two years now.
I'm really not okay.
I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. I know people say you can't die with the one who dies, but …idk. I truly, truly love cats (animals), and I genuinely believe they're real angels. But they stay in this world for such a short time, so… I just…… honestly feel like my soul is dying. I can't think or create the way i used to anymore. Every time I tell myself "things will get better, things will get better, don't cry, don't give up" it just feels like life keeps moving against me. And I'm not saying all of this only because of my cats. Since that post, I've lost so many things in my life. My family members, my financial independence, my health, my mental health, even an online friend i cared about. It feels as though my life was a puzzle made of thousands of pieces, and day by day, those pieces keep disappearing one by one. Now I'm like a shattered picture …something you can't even recognize when you look at it …something that feels worthless.
I'm sorry for writing all of this, but i couldn't lie and say that i'm okay.
Because I know…
The world is a cruel place.
The world is an unfair place.
People are selfish.
People are ungrateful.
No one truly cares about anyone else.
The kind of unconditional, genuine love people talk about only exists in books and movies.
I'm just so tired of how materialistic people are…
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hi cubur! so i joined the naruto over a year ago and by the time i finished it, i already took a liking for narusasu so when i wanted to find some fanarts on twitter i came across your art first and i thought "woah this person's art is so beautiful, it's so pretty, the art style is mesmerizing" like i think you're one of my favorite sns artist or even just artist of all time since narusasu has become such an important pairing to me giving me comfort and that comfort came along with your art. Looking at your art genuinely makes me happy and idk how to explain it but it holds so many emotions and it really captures the vibe and most of the time it's warm and welcoming like genuinely i know I've said this a lot but your art is really beautiful and i cannot take my eyes off of it like i really admire your art. I'm not really updated/aware on your situation so forgive me if what i say may be clumsy but whatever you're going through, I hope that one day it really gets better for you and that you'll be able to fully express yourself without having negative emotions holding you back. I wish you the best and take care 💛
I sincerely appreciate all your kind words and support！I don't know what else to say now …so just, thank you！！🙏
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Hello! I want to tell you that I admire your art and character designs so much. I've been very inspired by you, and a few times I've drawn female Sasuke using one of your blank period outfit designs that you've posted before. Although I credit you in the replies/tags/alt-text, I still would like to ask if you're okay with me using this design? I should have reached out to you long before I drew it, and I'm sorry for that. If you're not okay with me drawing it, I'll delete all the art I've made using the design! I hope you're well and wish you the best 🧡
Hello Johnny！👀
Oh I remember liking one of your femsns piece before, yes but I hadn't looked through the tags or comments at the time …probably (well just quickly checked your works again, and yep i remembered correctly ^^)
I mean, it's really not a problem at all. After all I also designed that outfit while looking at Sasuke's original designs. So I wouldn't really say it belongs to me either. Still, it was very sweet of you to mention me in the tags (even if you had just written “psst cubur” somewhere, I probably would've understood hehe x))
Just, I appreciate all your kind words and support. Also thank you for continuing to create and share your lovely works with us！
Wish you the best too！！🙏
What do you think about sakura and hinata, and ss and nh, and their fans? Do you find them annoying? Out of the many narusasu artists and accounts I follow, you're one of the few who I haven't seen get into fights with them, and I really appreciate that. You just post your beautiful artwork and appreciate narusasu and call it a day lol. I always love when you post. The others bring that stuff onto my tl too much and I don't wanna see it. Also I think it's pointless arguing with ppl who don't have basic critical thinking skills anyway lol
Well…… if you had seen me back when I was much more active on Twitter/X, you probably wouldn't be saying this x)
I mean, at the end of the day I think every sns shipper has (at least once) realized how difficult it is to keep supporting those two while constantly hearing people insist that Sakura is the 'only' person who deserves Sasuke because she never gave up on him and was the 'only' one who saw the good in him, or that Hinata was the 'very first' person who truly saw and acknowledged Naruto from the 'very beginning'.
What I mean is, yes ofcourse there was a period where i couldn't stand them either. But the truth is, I never directly criticized ss or nh themselves. I just made a few posts saying i was annoyed by the fandom constantly begging naruto/boruto animators on twitterX to draw them, or that I was tired of sakura stans completely ignoring everything in each new Boruto episodes but just to complain about why Sakura wasn't in it, where she is, etc.
And honestly, all I really remember from that time is simply defending my own opinions on my own account, like everyone else was doing. I mean i wasn't replying to people's comments or going under official Twitter posts to argue with anyone. But apparently even doing that was enough for the ss/nh fandom to attack my account. Long story short, according to them, having a large following somehow meant I wasn't “supposed” to post opinions like that. Like… what o_O!? But yeah, if you have 50/100 followers, you're free to speak your mind, but once you have 10k/20k followers, suddenly you can't anymore. Otherwise, I was supposed to just accept all the harassment and insults quietly, and if I complained about it, then i was the one causing drama. And just for continuing to do that, i even got labeled a “drama queen” at one point
I honestly can't even remember how many times i almost deleted my account or kept it locked for months. But somehow they still turned my acc name into some kind of blacklisted, and I got harassed over everything …from people mocking every single thing i posted to receiving uncomfortable dms. Even today, I still can't see hundreds of ss/nh fans on twitterX because half of them already blocked me. Apparently I'm some huge threat? X)))
And ofcourse, eventually I lost against the endless fake accounts and their childish bullying (because at the end of the day, they were hundreds of people and I was only one person), so I decided to go completely silent.
Well now, after hearing all of that, if you're still not disappointed in me and still curious about my opinions on Sakura and Hinata; well, they're both good and strong kunoichi in their own ways, yeah that's all x) Oh and I really don't think the housewife role suits Sakura at all. Ok that's all (no no im not saying anything else please x))
And to answer your other question: yes, I do find many of their fans annoying. I won't say all of them, but still… especially sakura fans are annoying in exactly the way Sasuke told Sakura x))))
But anyway, I genuinely don't care anymore. PLUS I'm too old to get dragged into all that chaos now ahahah
Hey! I’m looking for someone to do an art panel for one of my fics. Would you be interested? Sorry this is my first time I don’t know how this goes usually.
Hello there, thank you for your kind interest！But unfortunately, I really don't have the time to start any new projects right now. 'Cause to be honest, I'm awful at handling commissions (still haven't delivered some orders from last year yet …pls k*ll me) So because of this, I don't think i can commit to it properly, I mean i'll have to decline. But I'm sure you'll find someone who can bring your fic to life beautifully ^^
I'm just grateful that you reached out and asked！！🙏
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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