(not so) crystalline

May.

It’s been some time (again). I had another baby this year and he is the best. He also immediately made my toddler seem like a grown adult. Not really but she all of a sudden was just a BIG kid as soon as her brother was on the outside of my body. Having kids is just so damn bittersweet. And also magical and fulfilling and…it’s just the best love to ever experience. Anyway, I’ve taken so many photos and just have not had the time to go through them. I’ve tried to be more purposeful with what I photograph, as well. Avoid taking multiple pictures of essentially the same thing. The digital world created that problem. Oh well. Maybe one of these days I’ll go through them and post again. Priorities, right?

It’s been some time. Life, you know? It definitely is a time sucker, that normal mundane life. I also have a toddler now. She is a huge time sucker but someone I willingly (most of the time) and lovingly give my time to. I’d give her all of my time if it was possible. Bringing her into the world has somehow pushed the fast forward button on life. That “blink of an eye” thing is no joke when you have a kid. Since I can’t pause it or slow it down, a lot of time is spent looking at videos and photos of her when she was younger (yes, I do this while she’s sleeping.) Jesus, I wonder if that’s permanent…the desire to always look back because I will never have a previous version of her again. I know we all change and adapt as we age. It’s just that once we’re adults, the change isn’t so drastic for the most part. With kids, the change is inexplicable. Just this constantly evolving person on both the inside and outside. Both joyful and heart crushing to experience. I always say I now feel sorry for my parents. Stuck with just adult version of me now. I wonder if they sit and look at photos of little me? Anyway, this post wasn’t really supposed to be about my kid. I should have known better, though. Pretty much everything is about her at this point in time. Tonight, however, the moon and my condensated (not a word, I know) reflection drew my eye so here you are.

Smoke from the Thomas fire while driving to Goleta, Ca.

Came and went.

Man, this post kind of got away from me and in a completely unintended direction. However, consider it a prime example of how my brain (and I'm sure many veterinarians' brains) works when it goes into downward spiral mode. The bad hits you, the good brings you out, and then you return to normalcy whether that spiral was 5 minutes or 5 days.