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@highoctanegem from here
Ooooh! Let me translate, they asked: How many eggplants can you fit in your mouth? (At once... for some reason, which makes zero sense cause obviously one is more than enough) Also, while I have your attention, can you fit a full burger in your mouth? This has been plaguing my mind for a while.
Oh shit thanks! That really clears it up for me. Is there a fuckin' tournament comin' up where we're goin' all Anaconda over eggplants or what? Is someone scopin' out the competition?
A whole burger? I don't know, I haven't tried! Can you?
SUMMARY: Hazel feels threatened. Sami discovers something unexpectedly.
WARNINGS: Vomiting and unsanitary.
---
Another shift at Video Vault had come and gone, and Hazel was ready to lock up the store and head home, but her last customer of the night had lingered just a little too long staring at the Twilight movie franchise for her liking. And when she had tried to approach him, he simply turned and stared at her with an ominous grin poised across his thin, Lewis Pullman shaped lips…or lack thereof. So she quietly backtracked and gave him a little more time, before the eerily quiet man had left on his own, “Finally. I can leave.”
After checking to make sure all the lights were shut off, except the one in the back for the pixies, Hazel grabbed her backpack and made her way out the front door. The air surrounding her naturally overheated skin seemed to send goosebumps down her arms from an unexpected cool breeze, but upon closer inspection, the young woman realized her gut was telling her otherwise. Stay calm, Hazel. There’s nobody out here. It’s just you. The words weren’t doing much to settle her nerves as she fumbled with the keys in hopes of getting the store locked up quicker than usual.
Sami knew it was going to be a day when the werewolves shot him a message through his burner. Too many things were going on in town, too many things that needed to be followed up on. Most werewolves he knew seemed to have their wolf, whatever it was, fairly controlled. At least from what he could gather as the resident criminal bloodbag with nothing to fortify him against teeth and claws. He wasn’t bitter. But he was getting paid. So as to not risk any unprompted shiftings, he was sent to investigate, take notes, and come back whole. He kept at it like this, he’d need to ask about worker’s comp soon.
Gatlin Fields was a prettier side of town than Sami was used to but when night fell, the same shit that affected the rest of Wicked’s Rest found its way there. He kept an easy pace along the sidewalk, phone in hand as he looked over the werewolf’s message. Messy shift, Gatlin Fields, unknown, too loud. So someone got their shit wrecked and the wolves didn’t know what had happened. That alone was enough for them to be rattled. His shoulder collided hard against the sudden body in front of the Video Vault and he bounced along his heels. Relief to finally be done, a dollop of anxiety, stress maybe, and an anger underneath it all. Almost enough to snap at Sami.
---
Rough shift, huh? Sami thought.
“Shit,” Sami said as he picked up his phone. No harm done. He waved at the woman and carried on. “Sorry, not usin’ my fuckin’ eyes."
The immediate jolt had left Hazel even more panicked as her keys had dropped to the ground. But the mixture of shock and a glare that had somehow formed on her face all at once was sent in the other person’s direction, until he apologized, and she realized it truly was an accident, “Yeah, no worries.” Her voice held embarrassment, but also somewhat relief as she watched him continue down the sidewalk, “Just breathe, Hazel. No need for yer devil to come and play.”
Taking a slow and deep breath to continue on calming her nerves, Hazel bent down and picked up the keys. Let’s try this again. Calmer than before, she managed to find the right key and get it into the lock on the door this time around, and when she heard the click and reassured herself that the door was locked, she pulled out the keys, “Homefree, devil. We’re homefree.”
---
It had almost become somewhat funny. Her nerves getting the better of her, because some strange man had stared at Edward and Bella a little too long for comfort. What was she so afraid of? Vampires? She was a giant wolf, according to Maggie, and that could trump a sparkly old vampire anyday. Laughing softly to herself, Hazel made her way down the sidewalk towards where she had parked her bike, “Edward Cullen could never take us out devil. Team Jacob for life!”
Putting her stuff into one of the saddle bags, Hazel started to climb onto her bike to leave until she felt something snatch her off of it, quicker than she could realize! A scream escaping her lungs, the twenty-three year old had hoped someone would hear her, and when she finally got a look at who had pulled her off her motorcycle, she realized it was the same pale, thin man from the store with the Twilight fetish, “Team Jacob, huh? I think I can solve that problem…”
Sami considered a great many things as he walked further away from the woman talking to herself. Like his place in things, why he did what he did, why werewolves and vampires and fae all considered him their favorite mailman. Because honest work wasn’t what he was good at and this was and he wasn’t going to let that go. He also considered the growing sense of unease emanating behind him, stemming from the video store. Crinkling louder in his head, his chest, like tinfoil. The woman that said something to herself about devils. Eyes always forward, he still paid attention to what lay behind him.
A ways ahead, Sami crossed the street and stopped. A feeling he couldn’t shake. One of his hunches. He wondered if he applied himself, would he have made a good detective? Detective. Honest work. He snorted. Focused again. Focus on that growing unease, then the slightest ebb of it, the tinfoil straightening out but still wrinkled. Worry and anxiety like that never truly went away, did it? Refocused.
---
Sami stuck close to the low buildings, the shadows in them, fiddled with the silver in his pocket. Like it’d do much. A scream. His hand stilled and he turned, looked back across the street. Shit, he wasn’t too far away now. Cursed to himself. A spike of fear seized him and he hesitated in his steps, retreating back into an alley. Fuck. A lot was happening. Too much being thrown into the pot. Along with that fear, there was something sharper. Rawer. Like bones in fresh meat. Like teeth. From one. The woman again? Just static from something else.
Something dead.
The vampire dragged Hazel by the hair and threw her hard onto the ground climbing on top of her, “Please…Let me go!!!” She punched and clawed and kicked, but when she saw the glow of his eyes and his fangs protrude, she knew he was something else. He was like Edward, but he didn’t sparkle. He wasn’t a gentleman or polite. He was violent and pale and wanted only one thing. One thing that her devil wasn’t going to let him have, because just as soon as he had reached her neck and began to pierce skin, a low growl released from her throat.
---
“I told you to let me go, you piece of undead shit.” And just like his eyes, her eyes shifted to a crimson red that was much darker and sinister than his own. Rage and anger started to fill the parts of her body like the fuel she needed to make the change happen. And when everything was red, her devil made its way out to play. The small and weak woman had sprouted fur and had given way to form so big that the vampire was forced off of her and had started to scurry backwards out of fear like a rat that had just been caught.
No longer a human, the large lupine creature climbed up to its feet and towered over the shivering undead inching closer with her head low and spittle leaving tiny trails on the ground until it trailed up his dingy dark clothes and body and ever so slowly dripped down onto his face, “Please…please don’t hurt me!” The roles were easily reversed and the berserker took joy in this, so much so, that within the blink of an eye, she had opened her wide maw and bit down so hard on his face that she managed to rip it off like a mask leaving nothing there but exposed muscle, tissue, and bone, while he lay there gasping and writhing as she gnawed on the skin and hair hanging from her snout.
Sami's head, his heart, felt on fire. Sudden heat, enough to feel his skin burn at the touch of nothing. White-knuckled, teeth gritted. The screaming in his head was so guttural and feral, it locked him in place. He staggered against the wall, braced himself against it then struck it, annoyed that it touched him. Blood dribbled between his fingers. The fuck was happening? Whatever was happening across the street changed, evolved. Shifted.
The woman was gone.
A wolf ripped off the face of something dead.
Jesus fuck.
Sami was glad the man was already dead. The lack of the undead's fear in his chest made room for the empath's own shock and it was enough to pull him out from hell. The sudden cold dump of his nerves against the heat drew a hushed gasp of a breath from him. He flexed his hands together, thought of different words and counted the letters in them. Distracted himself with the evens and odds. Messy shift, Gatlin Fields, unknown, too loud. No shit it was loud. The wolf was fuck off huge. The woman was gone. Wolf was there. Face gone. Mystery solved.
Now to GTFO and not get his own fucking face ripped off.
---
---
The berserker didn’t stop with the vampire’s face. Until its undead enemy was completely disposed of, she ripped and tore the remaining parts limb from limb, and when Hazel was finished, there was nothing but blood, guts, and spare parts tossed around the alleyway. The animal had completed its task. It had saved the human side of itself from demise yet again, but instead of running off this time. It hunkered down next to the building and shifted back.
Hazel lay against the side of the video store with nothing on, but the shadow of her motorcycle covering her, and as she finally came to, she blinked a few times. She couldn’t remember anything that had happened, except the strange man pulling her from her bike and threatening her, “Wh-What happened?” As her eyes scanned the area while she pushed herself up to a sitting position and leaned back against the brick wall, she spotted at first what she thought was a hand, until she fully realized that’s what it was. Following that, piece after piece was revealed leaving Hazel to let out a scream, before leaning over and relieving the food and man she had just consumed.
Anger exhausts, Sami's mother used to tell him. Sadness and anger, when they were felt twofold, overwhelmed him when he was younger. Even older, better at handling his empathy, they could still do a number on him. Rage like what just passed over, through him, had dwarfed him in his own body. Miserable as they were, fear and shock could pull him back into his body. Help him find his own heartthread again and climb back to himself. Fuck, he was tired. Overwhelmed. His head throbbed.
Exhaustion. Confusion. Horror. The confusion struck him hardest. She didn't know what she'd done. That complicated things. While Sami fought to right himself, he felt the tremble from across the way. The anger and the horror he felt from her, seemingly shared in the same body, felt worlds apart somehow. Yet breathed down each other's neck. He shook his head, rubbed at his eyes. He saw what he needed to see. Now, he had an idea of what the messy shift in Gatlin Fields was and he watched her scream at her own kill. He reached for his phone but hesitated. It could wait. On nights like this, where he knew he'd be on his feet, he kept a small water bottle with him. He rolled it in his palm as he picked his way across the street, averted his eyes, kept a close eye on the emotions that ran under his own in case they threatened to pull him under again. Threatened to catch fire.
“It's okay,” Sami said, unsure of what else to say. He kept his eyes down the road, a wince on his face. None of it felt good. “Here. You're okay.”
He set the water bottle down, then awkwardly shrugged his too warm jacket off to set them down beside each other. Away from the blood.
“You're, uh, you're okay.”
His phone vibrated once, then twice. They wanted an answer and he couldn't stick around. The screaming would draw something, someone, and Sami couldn't risk it. As he made to leave, he spoke up again.
“...You didn't kill anything that wasn't already dead. There's that at least.”
---
Hazel was shaking from both her body’s response to the sight and the breeze on her skin. It was a mixture of horror. No wonder her family hated her. No wonder she didn’t have many friends. No wonder she had isolated herself. Everytime she was reminded of what she was and what she could do, her heart cracked a little more under the pressure. It took everything within her not to just give up on everything. On her life. On her hopes and any dreams she had for the future. But there was still a dim little light that held a warm flame deep inside of her reminding her that everything would be okay.
Her screams had quieted as she noticed a man walk over; a familiar man. Wait. He was the one that had run into her earlier in the night, before she was attacked. That much she could remember. And as she watched him cautiously, pulling her legs to her chest tightly to try and cover her exposed body, she was reminded of why that small little light stayed lit as he put down his coat and a bottle of water for her.
There were no words she could say or nothing she could explain that he probably couldn’t already figure out. And for the briefest of moments she feared he would do something, but instead, he gave her the best words of comfort that he could, before he left her on her own to her own devices.
Reaching out for the jacket with a shaky hand, Hazel wrapped it around her body, before she cracked open the bottle of water and quickly downed it. Her body was wobbly as she climbed to her feet tucking the empty bottle into her saddlebag along with the shredded clothes that remained from the shift. There was nothing she could do about the mutilated corpse of the vampire that had attacked her, but assuming Twilight was all bullshit when it came to vampire lore, the sunlight would hopefully take care of the rest. And without waiting any longer to let herself further drown in remorse, Hazel cranked the engine on her motorcycle and took off from the Video Vault hoping that when she returned for her shift the next morning all reminders of the night’s events would be gone.
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No, I don't think there is any child living inside of this toy. [...] Great. One that flies. I don't care how big it is. Just that it is a real, living bird, and it flies.
Be a lot cooler if there was. Anywho, yeah, sure I can get you a real flying bird. No Big Birds this time. Where you want it sent to? Got a roost or some shit for it?
Gonna look at those eyes and tell me a Victorian child ain't living in there? Alright, fine, you got me. I'll get a different bird. Compact and portable or bird of prey since you're being picky?
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A ghost? Now, that might disqualify your anecdote. But an impression, even a good one? Those are very common. (Unless we have a true talent in our midst; that would, again, fall outside of my scope.)
Did you know that Randy Poffo, the man behind the bravado, played baseball in the minor leagues for a time? If he had been just a little better, he might never have become quite so macho.
I think here might be the last place for Macho Man's ghost to visit unless we got some kind of indie wrestling showcase he'd want to see. Which would be sick.
Guess he got bored of standing there for nine plus innings? I'd want to start putting people through tables too.
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Coffee's a good one to remind me I made it through another day of existence on this bitch of an earth. Dunno, been told I enjoy 'dirt' scents before so I guess the more earthy types. Sweet ones aren't so bad either.
How good are you with technology on a scale from "really wizard, Hackerman!" (good) to "them kids and their phones" (bad)?
I know what Bluetooth is/how it works and sometimes that feels like 'advanced knowledge', ffs. I don't struggle to reply to an email if that's what you're askin'. Can even add a pic to get all fancy like.