“good for her” cinematic universe

The "if witchcraft works, why aren't you rich" question is as tired and boring as it is inevitable. Because you're not looking hard enough. I am rich in love. I am rich in connection. I am rich in spirit. I am rich in community. I am rich in skill and knowledge. Every road I have walked is paved with witchcraft. The times that I survived poverty on egg sandwiches and boiled cornmeal were managed with witchcraft. I paid for my first semester of university with Tarot readings and witchcraft. Every medicine I have made is with witchcraft. My safety is in witchcraft. My justice is in witchcraft. I made this life for myself with witchcraft. There is more to wealth than money. And I am seeking the treasure that feeds my soul.

I think Shirley Jackson delves so well into the horror of self-consciousness. To be so aware of yourself, whether due to loneliness or not belonging or abuse, can be a monstrous experience that reduces your experience of the world to a series of mechanical processes. I will get up. I will cross the room in front of everyone. I will get a cup of water. I must drink the cup of water before I return in case it is odd to have it on the couch. They must not think I'm odd. Instead of swinging into the kitchen for a drink while laughing with friends. Mechanical processes are based on cause and effect, and if you are so used to thinking in terms of cause and effect, you can start applying that framework nonsensically out of a self-defensive need for control--which begs the question of what happens when defense becomes offense

This is such a good way to articulate What the Fuck is Up with Eleanor Vance.

biting the hand that feeds me but im also sucking on the fingers a bit

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