Cryptid Enby @cryptid-enby - Tumblr Blog

sleep paralysis demons HATE him. this cartoonist discovers one weird trick to make them go away every time.

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wreegis

there was an incident at work today

neonprotagonist

Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.

hlahlahlahlahly

As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past

mevil

sailermoon

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

sailermoon

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megamindsupremacy

Beautiful dash pull

valtsv

woodsdyke

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

stuckinapril

“you should be at the club” Brother I should literally be sent to the seaside for my health

burgerdotcom

reblogs were off

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whydidisavethistomyphone

neosatsuma

rain-droplet

who turned them german mid tag ?

dastardlywlw

how do you know they were transformed midday?

raptorials

Went to take this picture of this insane bigfoot sex sign and only after opening my camera did i notice the entire flock of little chickens chilling in the dirt. life is good again

friendly-asteroid

Who wants to see my cat totally brave and not at all scared at the vet

friendly-asteroid

Excellent. Here she is, being super brave:

totallyuniquelily

weirdo-offical

teaching Fibonacci how to post

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kaity--did

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

kaity--did

If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”

If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.

So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”

kaity--did

Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.

See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.

inkloom

you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.

kaity--did

You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

retquits

so don't get too comfortable.

high resolution free to download [ here ]

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