connor ♡︎

anyone else uhh..... anyone else ummmm. anyone else. anyone else, anyone.. anyone, anyone. oh god anyone

Dear professor this assignment did not nourish my fundamentally curious soul so i did not do it No penalty full 100 points please Goodbye!

long hair on a man is the worlds most powerful aphrodisiac

vampirism poses the question "what if there was a fundamental, horrible, unending well of want in your soul that, if truly satisfied, would lead to great pain for all those you hold closest and, in turn, their absolute and total revilement of you?" and naturally as a person with no problems I don't relate to this in any way at all.

vampirism also poses the question "what if someone you loved, through no fault of their own, needed something from you, and giving it to them and seeing them happy provided you the greatest joy, and you were the only one who could do it, but at the same time it was slowly draining all your life out of you?" which is also a completely unrelatable idea to me because I'm a normal person with no issues.

so sick and twisted that vampires aren’t real because if vampires were real I wouldn’t have any more problems. mostly because I would be having gay vampire sex all night. and sleeping during the day. because id be a vampire.

like actually for real how do I continue on for the rest of my life

im thinking about vampires that eat people. like truly eat people. vampires that tear chunks of flesh from their victims throats, who walk away from their meal picking bits of meat from between their teeth. vampires that not only feel the impulse to bite, but who remember the instinct to chew.

The way I use the dating/hookup apps is once or twice a month I get desperate enough to open them and I say “PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DOES ANYONE WANT TO FUCK ME” and between 20 and 40 people say “YES!!!!” and then I close the apps for another month and nothing happens. Not sure what I’m doing wrong here

my astigmatism lets me see beautiful angels before i drive into oncoming traffic

i love antique stores you go to check out & theyre like “where the hell did you get this”

it's crazy that people can consume the same media yet come away with vastly different & wrong opinions. not me though because i'm always right

ive come to the conclusion that much like autism or gender vampirism is a spectrum