Untitled

So I just finished watching ‘The Book Of Boba Fett’… shut up, i like to enjoy the anticipation…. and one thing this does really well is explain a lot about the last three movies. Luke, specifically. 

Because Luke in TBOBF is just… he’s trying, he’s really trying, bless his cotton socks, but he is straight up garbage at this. Two things specifically are so apparent, so quickly, and they just… it all makes sense now.

1. Luke has absolutely no idea how to handle children. None,. He’s clearly never even babysat. Not even once. I’m pretty confident that this is a man who’s never even had a pet. He makes young Obi-Wan trying to handle a cranky child in Phantom Menace look like Father of the Year, he’s that bad. He’s trying to train a toddler the same way he was trained when he was a young adult. No wonder he messed up so badly with Ben. This man should never, under any circumstances, have been left alone with a child without some instruction.

2. Luke does not seem to understand that he was trained on 3X Fast Forward Because There Is A War On. He got a high-speed crash course on Basic High Points from Yoda who knew he could drop dead of old age at any moment and did not have time to coddle this guy, Yoda, who let us not forget had quite possibly never trained an Adult Beginner in his ENTIRE LIFE and was just trying to give him the important stuff as fast as possible. So Luke’s internalized his High Speed Extremely Basic Training as How Jedi Training Is Done, and he’s attempting to replicate it with a confused and traumatized toddler. Just… why. Honey, WHY. 

I wanted to hit Ahsoka with a stick. She had real training! She had the knowledge Luke clearly desperately needs! And she just… y’know… wandered off and left him to it.

I mean, nobody can blame Grogu at this point for the decision he makes. Grogu is sat down and told he has to make a Permanent Life Decision AS A TODDLER (look, I know it’s a Lone Wolf And Cub tribute, I got that, but still). So he has his little think and the basic information Grogu has at this point is ‘I am presented with a choice between two well-meaning anxiety-riddled idiots who know nothing about children, one of whom loves me, protects me, even removed his helmet for me which was a big deal, and the other of whom is THIS GUY who keeps trying to make me remember bad things and never cuddles me ever’.

Grogu may be a toddler, but he’s not stupid.

Older than recorded history; was here longer than any of us and will be here long after we leave. Has a finite beginning and end but is still incomprehensibly ancient

Burns itself into your vision instantly and can blind you if you look for too long

Further prolonged exposure can cause cancerous growths

Non-humanoid shape floating through space; colossal flaming tentacles angrily lash out on occasion

Sort of just appeared one day and is now surrounded by the corpses of its stillborn children

People used to sacrifice other people to appease it

Source See more facts HERE

The Drill Sergeant Alarm Clock will continue to insult you from one of the 10 phrases stored in the clock until you wake up.

This alarm clock wakes you up with bacon

The Smash Alarm Clock. You literally smash the top to shut it off.

The Flying Alarm Clock. Once the alarm sounds, the helicopter flies away and the only way to shut it off is to return it back to it’s base.

The Target Alarm Clock. As soon as the alarm rings you have to aim and fire the laser gun. Once you hit the bullseye the alarm will shut off.

Always use the white gun by the alarm clock.

Not the black gun in the nightstand.

But if the gun in the nightstand’s been tarted up with a Cerakote finish, things might get a bit confusing. It’ll still turn the alarm off, though…

:-P

Item: Ludwig’s Gritty Magenta Substance

Now need a P.G. Wodehouse translation of Beowulf.

But to take a single exemplar of the breed—what Gussie might call a type specimen, were we discussing newts, as we generally are when Gussie has come to the metrop.—consider a cove who was called Shield, the Spear-Dane being even keener on simple descriptive appellations than the average Etonian, and Son of Sheaf, said cove being a foundling and rather short on surnames.

Rome’s destruction of Carthage was fully justified, here’s ten reasons why

1. They are Punics

2. They are barbarians

3. They refused to move their city 100 miles inland like the Romans graciously requested.

4. They refused to accept the higher wisdom of Roman governance

5. They mistreated elephants

6. They are barbarians

7. One of their most infamous warlords was named after a cannibalistic serial killer.

8. They conducted human sacrifice, hence why Rome had to kill all the Carthaginians, to stop the human sacrifice.

9. Think of the children

10. They are barbarians