Just processing.
Good Omens became too much of a comfort, and I'm struggling to try to keep it that, but right now I just feel terribly let down.
After season one, I was enjoying the fanworks and finding joy in exploring the source material. It was probably the largest, most active and definitely most positive fandom I'd ever even been in the peripheral of.
Fandom and season 2 hype was my enjoyment through my father's cancer diagnosis and decline, lock down, job loss scares, and the loss of pets. I managed to get a ticket to the season 2 premier and nearly couldn't attend. I made it there, waiting for the final arranging of my mother's funeral. I was really looking forward to that clever, hopeful sort of ending that Good Omens sold to begin with.
Season 2 wasn't what I expected. But we were promised that this funny, hopeful show about free will and fixing things rather than destroying it would have a happy ending after everything. Adamantly promised. A good friend passed. The internet and everything is more hopeless.
I like comedy. I like fantasy. I like hopeful, thoughtful things. I really dislike a ton of the tropes that others find automatically profound, so I usually check spoilers. I don't really do dramas much. I trusted Good Omens. Because of the Pratchett witty, hopeful expectation. Because so many of his books also have the sci-fi-esque humanist take, the 'what is/beautiful humanity' through the lens of the inhuman. Through the doesn't fit the mold but you still have hope and joy. So, I'm feeling really rather foolish as it tried to pull almost every trope I find bleak or disappointing to do a big biblical sacrifice tragedy with a don't be mad epilogue that I'm really tired of finding every time I open the box.
I didn't want to be City of Angel'd. I didn't want to be Supernatural'd. I didn't want to be His Dark Material'd. I really expected something clever and untypical in this comedy of saving the world and how imperfect life is worth it. Not a trolley problem and another fantasy world hopeless without a reset into reality. But here I am still getting hit by the fantasy genre's right hand turn into tragedy to prove it is Adult and should be Taken Seriously. Mostly, I'm disappointed.
I'm also a cope through sarcasm type of person, and that is really rough in modern fandom where others take undirected negativity personally. So, I'm a tea kettle and trying to not let my love for the whole thing die. I don't think it will, but fic and fandom has been a bit of a toxic neg/pos mine field since season 2. So I'm not looking forward to this further fracture.
Fandom aside, I'm just irritated with myself that I got so invested, in a way. Good Omens was the cup that held my grief and kept it sweet. And they dumped it right into my lap because I trusted the genre.
