CrowleyCringe

ho boi... this one took a while to make. I have a lot of headcanons, not gonna lie, but bear in mind that my knowledge of music is mostly based on a few years of learning to play the piano (fruitless endeavour, ngl) and Sideway’s rants about it (honestly, go check the dude, he’s amazing and talks on a level even someone with zero knowledge can understand). 

So brace yourself, a lot of very odd things are incoming with a lot of sample links. Because it’s hard to explain music in words. Thou hast been warned.

Heroes are sorted in alphabetical order by their class, with added “canon” names for clarity. 

Abomination/Bigby - oof, only starting, and this one was already a hard one, but I think I have one that would fit him: a glass harp. We have records of it being used as early as 1492, so it should fit the setting, I guess? And also it fits him, imo. There’s more to this man than his chains and his rags, as there’s more to some water-filled glasses than what they look like. Also, it doesn’t require a lot, just glasses, some chalk and water. And lots and lots of patience. Fitting, don’t you think?

Antiquarian/Josephine - this one gave me the biggest pause. Because frankly, I don’t really have an opinion on Josephine. She was a useful mule in-game but as her own person...? Ehhh... This one was hard. But I can propose tambourine despite it being canonically used by Jester (based on his trinkets), maybe? It’s both unassuming and can be used for more than you can initially imagine, but still sounds very distinct - much like the antiquarian class in itself. I can also definitely see her sneaking one in her bags on an expedition (before I went and double checked, I was sure she was holding one in the Curious Incantation skill icon).

Arbalest/Missandei - something like french horn comes to mind, frankly, with all the march references she has in her toolkit. Or maybe a trumpet. Trumpet fits a bit better, imo, considering the “Marked for Death” quartet she’s part of. Metallic, militaristic, much like her armour and her crossbow. Or her character. But also capable of sounding incredibly sincere and gentle.

Bounty Hunter/Tardif - yet another one which gave me a big pause. But he looks a lot like Varangian Guard, imo, so I looked up some Byzantine instruments and found one that I think fits both his “always on the road” bounty hunter lifestyle, his aesthetic (since it can be played without taking off his helmet cloth... I guess, don’t quote me on this one), and the feelings he probably invokes in people upon meeting them - aulos. Just listen to this beauty, especially the starting dissonance. It sounds like an alarm siren to me. And if it’s not Tardif in music form, I dunno what is.

Crusader/Reynauld - a strong contender for “his voice is his instrument” because of his chanting, but nope, while our boi Rey can yell commands in a way that makes Barristan proud, I don’t think that singing is his strong suit. If we abandon his demonstrative disinterest in anything not Verse-related for a moment, I really wanna put something like zitra in his hands to show his gentler, humane side and because he is now strongly associated with Franko-German origin for me thanks to @engelsschwert and his real-world inspiration. Psaltery might fit it better? Sounds closer to how I can imagine him, at least. And the name is like ‘psalms’ too. But it’s still a part of the zitra family, so a win-win, imo.

Flagellant/Damian - his voice. No, really, I can easily depict this man bellowing the gregorian chant with the might needed to be heard from any remote part of a cathedral. Human voice is an incredible instrument after all, it was the very first one we had, and I believe Damian can use his to the fullest. It also fits the “having nothing but burden” mentality of flagellants, I think? You can’t get any more minimalistic than that. I think his singing voice also makes Rey jealous but he’d rather die than admit it.

Grave Robber/Audrey - she most likely knows how to play some “proper”, “feminine” and classic instruments like the harp. Because of that, she most likely hates it with passion and would rather strangle you upon the request than play a melody, even if she can play decently “since that is what’s expected from a proper lady”.

Hellion/Boudica - another contender for using her voice as a musical instrument, more in a “war chant” scenario. But also I can see her using tagelharpa. I suppose she’s meant to be Celtic with name and all, but Celtic lyre is too gentle-sounding, and I don’t think she was a chieftain/chieftain's daughter to be given a carnyx to play. So yeah, may be historically inaccurate since we cannot prove her being related to Vikings if we omit stereotypes, but the sound fits, imo, and DD as a whole is a historic nightmare, so...

Highwayman/Dismas - this one was incredibly easy and strong: harmonica. Small, compact, can be made out of a leaf and a comb, or just a leaf if you know how. Easy to use on the road, easy to conceal if needed. Can be used to gouge our someone’s eye in a clutch. Ideal for a constantly low on funds runaway convict or a vagabond. Also it feels like a very cheeky instrument (pun definitely intended) and it fits the character quite well, imo. The saxophone comes close second if we’re going bonkers. Oh, you all know why. He’s the most shipped character for a reason.

Houndmaster/Willam - I’m not gonna beat around the bush with our beloved dog guy. It’s the Irish tin whistle also known as feadóg. Don’t judge me. I couldn’t pass this one.

Jester/Sarmenti - although the lute might be his preferred music instrument, I would’ve really, really loved it if the mad lad found remains of an organ in the Abbey and with enough help from Baldwin and the company could restore it. Because honestly, the guy is a mad genius, and have you seen how many pins, keyboards and the like the thing has? The sheer freedom, range and scale! He’d fit right in, just as much as I believe in his dedication to break through this monster of the instrument and make it obey his whim. 

Leper/Baldwin - canonically plays the flute (at least until the point where he still has some lips left to do it); however, based on the noble upbringing of that era, he probably knew some other, “proper” instrument as part of his upbringing. Oud, maybe? It’s very complex from what I could gather, and has a lot of regularly used scales, but you wouldn’t assume it by looking at it. Much like you wouldn’t assume that a mere leper is a once-King. 

Man-at-Arms/Barristan - I can easily imagine him knowing the drums. Snare drums to be specific. But not in a way of music, not entirely, more in a way of military-signals-turned-music, if that makes sense? Though I believe he can perform one hell of a solo if you nag him long enough.

Musketeer/Margaret - this one was more of a continuation of Arbalest, Houndmaster and MAA quartet, if you will, much like the Margaret herself is, mechanically at least, just a reskin of Misendei. So to finish the arrangement, I decided to give her fifa. Not only does it fits their general “soldier” idea, but also it’s a flute, an instrument that got a lot of “feminization” and sounds gentler than the trumpet, but is capable of sounding just as harsh and demanding if needed.

Occultist/Alhazred - another strong contender for his voice being his instrument. If the guy can yell “ Y'LW'NAFH N'GHFT “ without stuttering, he deserves it, in my opinion. But I also find kamancheh quite fitting. It sounds like a lament, to me, which fits Alhazred’s narrative and the instrument itself also looks both sophisticated and very elegant. It can also be considered a ritualistic instrument, used at many celebrations and is widely used in classical music. 

Plague Doctor/Paracelsus - this one was tricky, and at first, I even thought I’d have to admit that she isn’t musical but. But. What is the music if not the fluctuations in the air? What are they but math and physics, give or take? And if so, you can make a scientific way of producing it - a marble machine. Unorthodox, just like the woman in question. And admit it, it even looks like something she’d try to build just to drive Sarmenti up the wall.

Shieldbreaker/Amani - initially I wanted to give her a rattle (I’m a horrible person, I’m aware of it). I also was sure she had some sort of jingles, much like Jester, during her moves, but no. The problem is, she’s one-handed, and it’s rare you can use an instrument with only one hand. But I found one and it actually fits her, thematically - zills! And first ones of those were found in Greece around 500 BC, so no issues in using them in our medieval-ish setting.

put him in your pocket

Happiest of wishes to him 🎉 🎂 ✨