(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Need some fables AESOP

This is stupid! Were you born yesterday? (the mayfly’s big limpid eyes fill with tears as it looks at me) oh god I’m so sorry oh no oh god

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he wasn’t even there to be a contestant he joined the crew as a CHINESE TEACHER but the directors noticed his good looks and begged him to compete. poor guy made it to the finals and if he had been one of the winners he would have been contractually forced to be in a boy band whether he wanted to or not

this is the closest any human being has ever come to actually being sold to One Direction

cool thing about going to bed a couple hours early is now u have a couple extra hours for phone in bed #tips #stragtegies

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

you don't like mourning dove? hwoo hoo hoo hoo?

Germans completely outdid the english language by calling tv a farseer. They got their orcish shamans to name that shit