Adventures of a Night Troll

dead wife who was MEAN and slept without a TOP SHEET and only went to the beach when it was OVERCAST to SCOWL at the waves

Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"

Are you free from your curse yet i miss you

i don't know what's better, 18 year old ilya shamelessly flirting and calling his crush 'pretty' or 18 year old shane, who always hated being called pretty, pissed off that he likes how the word sounds from his rivals mouth

it's called a museum because me 'n' u see 'em

Yahhh I have to build Rome. Yup it’s due tomorrow.. noo I haven’t started yet haha is that bad?

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws

audio: [so‿ɡ̊o ˈbæʔ t̯ʊ̆‿ðᵊ ˌǁ͜klə̃ː˧˨ə́b̚]

This is stupid! Were you born yesterday? (the mayfly’s big limpid eyes fill with tears as it looks at me) oh god I’m so sorry oh no oh god

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

the dogs on the moon dug the craters