ive found myself thinking about you recently. i think i want to see you again. i dont know if i miss you but i think im missing something. are you as lonely as i am? i feel so hollow. i find myslef serching crowds for you and i dont know if its out of fear or excitement. every show i go too i hope your there. as i grow i wonder what it would have been like too do that with you. i wonder how youve grown and changed. i feel dissatisfied that i couldn’t watch it happen. are you happy? are you fulfilled? what do you think about? do you feel guilty? i know i do its all i feel. i feel like my purpose is penance. the only reason im still kicking is a need to feel the pain of all this as a punishment. i dont know if reaching out like this is part of that or a way to lessen it. i dont know if you read these but if you do and you want to, reach out to me.
