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todays bird
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@crime-wives
(never) break the chain
She remembered Helen leaving for Santa Fe. A business trip to meet a new client. Remembered getting that phone call. Then pouring a glass of whiskey, only to down it in two gulps. Eventually giving up the pretense of a glass, bringing the bottle to her office. She must have gotten behind the wheel at some point. The rest was white noise.
Carol Sturka/Helen Umstead
500+ words 1/1
read on ao3
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I pulled my sister in law for the family holiday gift swap this year and I'm vibrating with excitement. I've been wanting to get her for years. she's the most basic woman I've ever met and I mean that with admiration that borders on fear. Her house is full of inspirational quotes in cursive. Her bathroom has a "Lashes Long Coffee Strong" poster and she doesn't even drink coffee. Her makeup is Did. Her hair is Did. She is fashionably tipsy at every occasion. She sells bougie wine for a living and brings a hair curler with her on vacation. She is the maximalist luxury target consumer for literally everything. I am obsessed with her the way a gay man is obsessed with Liza Minelli. I would buy her a pink rhinestone car with lashes on the headlights if it wasn't a bit outside the secret santa spending limit.
Ideas I've had so far:
A gold plated wine opener with her name engraved on it
some kind of classy-but-cunty Christmas decor. Something chi-chi and sparkly that's giving "oh, it's Christmas, bitch"
one of those instax mini cameras in a color like "blossom pink" because you know this diva scrapbooks
those little bone china Tiffany's cups that are made to look like cheap disposable paper cups but they're Tiffany blue and they say "Tiffany's" on them (because you know this diva is obsessed with Tiffany's)
a Swarovski birthstone bracelet because you know this diva actually gives a shit about her birthstone
I hope none of this comes off as sarcastic because if my kidneys were gold and made by Louis Vuitton I'd give her one of those. This woman is delightful and friendly and warm and organizes the family photo with an air of command fit for a British naval commodore. She is more self-actualized than me, she is happier than me, her chi is clean, and she still talks about her quinceañera. Her wedding was "Tuscan-themed." How do I please this perfect angel. What should be my tribute
your cat was an honor to see in the window
every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing
(never) break the chain
She remembered Helen leaving for Santa Fe. A business trip to meet a new client. Remembered getting that phone call. Then pouring a glass of whiskey, only to down it in two gulps. Eventually giving up the pretense of a glass, bringing the bottle to her office. She must have gotten behind the wheel at some point. The rest was white noise.
Carol Sturka/Helen Umstead
500+ words 1/1
read on ao3
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example
the human body when you use it and exist in it
t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it
being turned on by proficiency makes going to concerts really embarrassing. yes you got up in front of me and sang a beautiful song for 2 hours and now i want you to hit. I’m no better than a songbird
who wants me to make a moodboard for themm
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Do you know how WHIPPED a person has to be for the entire ER and the nurses and even a patient to point out your crush on the new intern you met only 2 HOURS AGO?????? Yolanda no one is doing it like you!!!!!!!
apparently privacy is too much to ask for
[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks
It's a moral imperative that we write more sex scenes which are
Weird
Uncomfortable
Not good for anyone involved
she’s not going to be here this week and i’m gone next week so the soonest i’m seeing her is the 13th. i miss her. this is so stupid
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
can i be vulnerable or will i be shot
can i be vulnerable or will i be shot
