breaking bad? walking dead? bitch please.

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@crenshawcronie
breaking bad? walking dead? bitch please.

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Time Travel
It Doesn't Exist. If it did, I would see my great great great grandchildren of mine. or A.. I'm arrogant to think my great great great grandchildren would want to see me. B. We are possibly the first timeline of infinite timelines, so the great great great grandchildren scenario is impossible.. C. I'm arrogant to think I am part of an Alpha timeline.
Blaxucation
Attention Fellow BLACK PEOPLE! I implore and encourage you to come with me and start a new REVOLUTION. I want our Presence to be strong once again in Hollywood. A Hollywood Renaissance, if you will. Not Blaxploitation, but BLAXUCATION. Brothers and sisters need to show hollywood how its done. Remember, we were the ORIGINAL trend Setters. The First Human Bone was found in Africa. Then everybody copied us and wanted to be humans too. We are not just the ORIGINAL NEGRO. WE ARE THEE ORIGINEGROS. The ORIGINS of man and culture. The Golden Globes are over. Its all about the Ebony Globes. Forget the Silver screen. Its the Red, Black and green screen. Bring back Afro-sheen commercials, Soul Train, Good Times! The Afro-pic with the fist, curl-activator and commercials with Frederick Douglass in them! No more negotiations. Its time we reclaim what we rightfully deserver after centuries of labor. its NEGROTIATION TIME! The Revolution will be Televised! oh, and Puerto Ricans...you're invited too. We only have a few limited spots for the white people who are down with the cause. There will be a raffle for the VIP (Very Important Pigment) room. Yours truly, The Alpha and NEGROMEGA — feeling all militant and shit.
Solomon Grundy
College Degree, Received on a Monday, Framed on Tuesday, job searching on Wednesday, job searching still on Thursday, Grew worse on Friday, Died on Saturday, Buried on Sunday. That was the end, Of college degree The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that jobs exists.
12 years
I finally watched 12 years a slave. Heavily disappointed. I thought it was about the American Education system. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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I can fill you with real millionaire ship!
You don’t get to use Martin Luther King Jr. as your “Imaginary Black Yes Man”!!!
"Thats why I laugh when I hear that wack ass verse. That shit was the worst rhyme I ever heard in my life. Cuz the greatest rapper of all time died on March 9th" - Canibus

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50 posts!
OMfg. awesome
Rawest Tongue Twister
Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know That we riddled some middlemen who didn't do diddly - Big Pun
Beyonce: "Shut your mouth and Knowles your role model"
Without a doubt amongst women,womyn or womb-men, or whatever silly names you guys gals come up with, Beyonce is the Queen. She is the female Jesus Christ. Turning water into wine? pfft that was so B.C. Bread into fish? Yeah. If you a broke nigga (sorry jesus). How about turning water into champagne? Bread into Caviar, lobster and Scrimp! She only walk on water so thirsty niggas can taste her feet.
The Rock: Who is he most electrifying entertainer in the world? Steve: Well, thats easy. obviously it is --
Yeah Steve, shut up. no one wants to hear your opinions. If the answer wasn't Beyonce then you can have several seats sir.
SMH STEVE. Why is Beyonce so great, you ask? Well, shut up Steve and I'll tell you. Since the beginning of time on the continent of Skankonia (not to be confused with Stankonia)
OutKast. learn some hip-hop Steve
there was a time when women could not get along with each other. They didn't fight like how men fought. They are not aggressors. They are passive aggressors. They CAN and they WILL effectively assassinate you with a well placed subliminal facebook status.. Men throw grenades. Women throw greSHADEs.(terrible pun Steve. don't do it)
They will also try to out-pretty you by buying overpriced names like gucci or prada that just so happens to be attached to a purse. the purse is just the bonus. well one day Queen Beyowulf... with her husband Grendel Jay-Z (Pictured Below) decided to transform Skankonia into a beautiful paradise. She uses her highly refined gift of hiring talented writers and producers for her to create beautiful music and hypnotic dancing. The "Single Ladies" dance video has effectively destroyed relationships with a staggering 100% success rate. 20% of the women broke up with their men after hearing the anthem. While another 80% nagged their men until they eventually "Put a ring on it".
Jay-Z
Its a Beowulf joke Steve. Learn to read a book sometime.
The Bronze goddess, also going by the name 'Sasha Fierce' that one brief time only and never heard from again, (not to be confused with sister Solange) united the womenfolk of Skankonia. Shade were no longer used for hurling insults at each other, but to anyone whoever thinks about bad mouthing Queen Bey. One Giant victory for women, One huge defeat for men. Dislike a Beyonce song? You are not a human anymore. To them you are a hater. They will shoot so many shade arrows at you they will block out the sun, (appropriate metaphor with the verb 'throwing shade'. Take notes Steve and king Xerces). you cannot go against the Queen Bey hivemind. They will destroy you Steve! They will destroy all of us. She took over the Mecca of Man known as the Superbowl and turned it into her own concert! That is some scary stuff Steve. If you look up the word infallible in the dictionary what would you find? Steve: a picture of Beyonce? Don't be an idiot Steve. You would find the definition. The definition would be Beyonce. In the eyes of a woman she can do no wrong. And its about time too. Its a symbol of hope. This proves that women can be happy for other women! She finally drew the line between the grown & Sexy and..the ratchets. Separating the girls from women. The Classy from the messy. The Goddesses from the "O' God. that heffa is here".
A young, rich, beautiful, black woman with no dirt on her? We haven't had that since Queen Cleopatra. (pictured Below)
(Mark Antony with Queen Cleopatra, circa 41 B.C)
Jesus, pick up a history book sometime Steven.
So in closing, what did you learn Steve? Steve: She is a great role model and performer with great business acumen. She deserves my respect. She is mother, lover, dancer,singer, performer, entrepreneur, entertainer. She is all that and a
Jesus Christ Steve, calm down. Her music is aight and all but she's not a God or anything. Don't be a stan.
ok never mind. All Hail King Beyeezus
and somebody get me a surfboard!
My cat Batman

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Be sure to watch the Oscars!
Coke dealer vs a Girl Scout?
Crack Cocaine turns people into
Girl Scout cookies turn people into
OK. Now that I got the differences out the way lets talk similarities shall we? 1. Dealers
typical group of drug dealers:
Typical girl scout
First'vely we need to take a look at the pushers. Its obvious. One group is undoubtedly evil. No doubt about it, these people are bad. these people are the scum between the toes of society.. They simply do not care. They don't care if you got kids to feed, bills to pay or if you are pregnant they see you as another dollar.
Then there are the crack dealers. A little bit more forgiving.than the girl scouts. At least when they rip you off they take you to a secluded warehouse and shoot you in the back of the head. On the other hand you are expected to pay $3.50 for a box and The Girl scouts will smile in your face, every time. And worst of all, THEY TAKE CREDIT/DEBIT! Why? Cause they know you are weak, and you cant do a damn thang about it. At least you can bargain with crack dealers!
2. Economics
Second'vely Both have good business acumen. Cocaine dealers most likely have product all year round, all day, erryday. But the girl scouts is on some next level shit. Their product is like a mother-in-law. Its great because It comes around only once a year. and people EAT.THAT SHIT UP. Pun intended. Valentines day is for the heart, Pi day for the brain, Christmas for the spirit, St. Patty's day for the liver, black history monf for the soul (coloreds souls only) and Girl Scout season is for the tastebuds and possibly R.Kelly.
3. product
Lets face it. Both will have you stepping over your own mother to get just a taste.
5. Commandments
Both follow a strict set of
1. Never let no one know, how much dough you hold 2. Never let 'em know your next move 3. Never trust nobody 4. Never get high on your own supply...... 5. Never sell no crack where you rest at 6. That go*damn credit? Dead it. You think a crackhead paying you back, sh*t forget it 7. (This rule is so underrated) Keep your family and business completely separated 8. Never keep no weight on you 9. If you ain't gettin' bags, stay the f*ck from police 10. If you ain't got the clientele say hell no.
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