Fire&Flame

From the outside nothing has changed. From the inside, everything has. Now when I smile at you and help you out, it's because it's my job. Because I'm hiding what has changed. Now when I sit outside alone on all my breaks it's because I want to be antisocial and I don't want to talk to anyone at all. Now when I put on the darkest music I have it's because that's what I feel like on the inside. Nothing has changed to you. Everything has to me.

Let’s get this straight. I’m not one of the people who goes out to smoke when I'm not on break. I've made a big effort since being here to appear to everyone as a lovely smiley happy girl. The guy I spend most of the night working with has not once complained to me about my work speed or anything. Yet today my boss says, "hey you got a couple of seconds?" And sits down to tell me that one of the people I hardly see at work said that when she asked me to do something I got angry and grumpy at her. What happened was I said "I don't have time when I'm running between stacking crates and the oven" she said "do it when you're done in the oven then" I said "yeah ok that's fine" and I did it. Not at all pissed off or grumpy to my knowledge. He also said that I need to work faster. Ok, fair enough, although when I'm just stacking, I stack fast enough that I have to wait for more bread to come out and when I'm packing, yeah sometimes I'm a little slower than the other guy, but sometimes I'm faster and we're never late with the packing we always finish before we need to. The last thing was something about writing notes for where the cakes go which no one had told me was specifically my job, the guy who does it had never asked me to do it instead or complained to me that I wasn't doing it. I thought if he had a problem he would have come to me rather than go to our boss. I already have a massive problem with authority so I'm probably blowing this waaayyyy out of proportion but I felt a bit cheesed off. #rantover.