Varguy
DEAR READER

#extradirty

@theartofmadeline

Origami Around
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
ojovivo

if i look back, i am lost
$LAYYYTER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

JVL
Sade Olutola
đŞź
Stranger Things
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Acquired Stardust


oozey mess

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@crazyann559
Varguy

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So it's 12:19 a.m.
And I'm sure I spent over an hour making 2 heavy metal playlists.
One for me.
And one that's, đđ fresh take on heavy metal.
Because if you give me another fucking "Last Resort," or "Devil in I," we're about to meet in The Thunderdome and I WILL be the man to leave.
Cupcakes by Samantha Chiu, on Instagram
Follow So Super Awesome on Instagram
Rations for various RPG Races
[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. ]]
Universal:
Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.
Discussion thread here.
Dwarf:
Garlic chicken livers, smoked and peppered cheese, spiced pork sausages, hard tack, dried vegetables, dried wild mushrooms.
Discussion thread here.
Elf:
Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.
Discussion thread here.
Halfling:
From upper left: âHoneytackâ Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade âtravel cakeâ muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.
Discussion thread here.
Half-Orc:
Wrapped in cheesecloth and tied in burlap package. Forest strider drumsticks, molasses sweet wheat bread âblack strapâ, aged Munster, hard boiled eggs, mixed wild nuts.
Discussion thread here.
Orc:
Orcs arenât known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcsâŚ.nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Gnome:
Pan fried Delimbyr smelt, spiced goat cheese (paprika crusted hand pressed Fontina), Gnome shortbread (savory pistachio), glass travel jar filled with Secomber Red (wine), hard boiled quail eggs packed in rolled oats (to keep safe), dried figs from Calimshan, and Southwood smoked goat sausage (blood sausage).
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Lizardfolk:
Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Drow:
From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Drow will also eat A Fucking Rock if itâs goth enough
#this rules to such a ridiculous degree im aghast
you know what im gonna reblog this to my main as well as my aesthetic blog because this post kicked my ass
Oh hey look.
Nightmare fuel.

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people who don't wear glasses who are writing characters who wear glasses;
they get fogged up when we drink hot beverages. they get smudged for no reason. we will push them up using anything in our area (i.e shoulder, whatever is in my hand, scrunching my nose up so they get pushed up, etc.). they get knocked off our faces all. the. fucking. time. when we change clothes we either take them off or they fall off when we pull our shirts off. we have to clean them after being in the rain. we own multiple pairs of them, not just one lone pair for our whole lives. most people donât wear them in the pool, but some have extra old pairs for the pool (like me). some people take them off during sex, thatâs fine! but some people keep them on. they donât get squished into your face when you kiss (most of the time. at least from what iâve experienced and iâve got some mf big glasses). if we look down and look back up while you talk/to peek up at something, we will just peek blindly over the top of them. we clean them on whatever item of clothing is closest. some of us have prescription sunglasses and some of us wear contacts when we need to wear sunglasses. please keep some of these in mind when you write characters with glasses cause y'all who have 20/20 vision keep telling me all characters sleep in their glasses and own the same singular pair from age 6-25 and they never clean them.
( thereâs this but you missed a few iconic glasses traits - âwhereâd I put my glassesâ (is wearing them) - new glasses getting scratched on basically nothing. whereâd the nick come from? we just donât know. - forgetting youâre wearing synthetic material and just smudge the junk on your glasses around - after doing so, proceeding to hunt down any friend who is wearing a more cottony material - getting eyelashes on your glasses - stabbing yourself in the face with the arm of your glasses - âwoah are you blind?â - âhow many fingers am I holding up??â - walking into a warm room from the cold and suddenly being unable to see because your glasses fogged up - going outside and everything is Super Crisp 1080p - having three pairs of glasses and putting all of them at once - âaw dude you have transition lenses? lucky.â - the non-glasses scrutinising squint - taking off your glasses and suddenly youâre a different entity entirely - if youâre too good for taking off your glasses when dressing/undressing, realising you didnât pull the collar of a shirt out enough and subjecting to your fate )
-For female characters wearing eye makeup is pretty much useless
- the reason why is because no matter what we do, the mascara will smear on our glasses
- thinking âOh, thereâs a little smudge. Iâll just clean it quicklyâ, then taking the glasses off and wondering how the hell you could see with what looks like three layers of dirt on them
- giving your loved one a little kiss but in the wrong angle so their nose touches your glasses
- the look⢠when youâre in your bed lying on the side with your glasses on (aka the glasses are skewed)
-sleeping in glasses fucking hurts⌠well, not anymore, but it used too
-if you have long eyelashes, having to push your glasses down your nose so they dont constantly rub each other, then having to push them up cuz you cant see
-WHY WONT YOU STAY ON MY FACE?!?!?!
-*they tilt crooked slightly* oh wow, And⌠now Im falling over
-having transitions and right after walking into a building you canât see because theyâre still dark
-forgetting where you put them then having to either ask for help or judge your entire surroundings
-dont like contacts? like cosplaying? guess what! youâre blind now!
-trading glasses with other glasses wearers to see how blind your friends are
-when thereâs a smudge that just. Wonât. Go. Away.
-âhey do you have lens cleaner?â
-your old glasses become your back up pair in case your current ones break
-metal and plastic frames are very different and most people have a preference
All of this omg
Oh also I forgot to mention the nOSE PAD THINGIES
I HATE THOSE WITH A BURNING PASSION
OH MY GOD SAME, I HAD A PAIR OF METAL FRAMES AND THE NOSE PAD THINGIES THAT CUSHIONED THE ACTUAL THINGS FELL OFF
THAT AMIGOS IS WHY I WEAR PLASTIC FRAMES
And the most important note that pisses me off the more and more I see it:
The more you push up/adjust your glasses, the dirtier they get. So donât you dare have your characters adjusting their glasses every other frame or paragraph and then not have them subsequently clean them.
Because Iâm 90% sure that many other individuals who wear glasses have done the âlet me push up the bridge of my glasses like one of those anime characters and goddamn it I missed and now I got a big fucking blotching in the middle of where I need to see why does this always happen youâre better than this smallsâ
Oh.
Hey.
I have a side blog.
https://thecartoonarchivist.tumblr.com
I talk obscure cartoons and fill requests to find cartoons from your childhood that you can't remember the name of.
Check it out.
Send me your requests.
Or just hang out to learn about weird animation trivia. It's a fun time.
Yesterday Tiny Dinosaur drew a thank you picture for 200 notes on his presentation. Today there are over 30 THOUSAND.
He is so happy that everybody has been so nice so he wanted to draw some more pictures for everybody, from people under the umbrella raising awareness to people under a different umbrella helping too and being accepting of things even when they are hard to imagine.
Tiny Dinosaur loves everybody very much. HUG FOR ALL.
Hug for all đ
As part of a walk-out, I'm just gonna post here that Sexual assault is not okay.
It's never okay.
Believe the people that tell you-- Why would they lie?
sorry, professor whats his nuts
HE CHANGED HIS TWITTER AHAHAHAHA!!!

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like, a popcorn-large drink handful of detroit: become human consumers (at least at first impression) find Markusâs whole plot-line to be kind of sour? Because at first it seems like it could be pretty cool. press x to sadness. some andy warhol old playboy man wants to frankenstein himself a new heir to the throne. But then it turns out that markus is just literally every other young-adult dystopian hip-swing revolutionary. Weâre so numb to it all at this point. we keep seeing the catalyst of change but never its reaction. and besides, all nuance and complexity this part of the game dug its pinkies in is subsequently presented to us like an air horn to the face. ultimately, itâs all just a sparsely-researched civil-rights high-school paper. neither markus nor the game heâs in really have meaning. d*vid c^geâs waterpark shutdown eyes refuse to give them any meaning. Weâre the ones that apply it because we want to see it. weâre the ones throwing out all the trash. Thatâs cool and all. but still
I remember reading in the comments on a playthrough I was watching that someone actually thought that Markus was gonna turn out to be some sort of twisted version of a cult leader whiled they were playing.
The whole "Press X to Liberate" seemed so... forceful that they thought that the androids were not only becoming slaves from one master to another, but they were being brain washed in some way. I mean... it's not that much of a leap to make.
And honestly?
I thought that story was INFINITELY more interesting than the one c^ge came up with.
I mean, Cult Leader Markus? Sociopathic Markus? Smooth talking, all-too-charming, "everything is going according to plan", power-hungry Markus? Who WOULDN'T want crazy like that?
HEY I DONâT KNOW MUCH ON THIS BUT PLEASE SPREAD THIS GIRLS ARE GOING MISSING
Spread this fast to save a life
Stay safe my ladies!
While Everyoneâs Talking About The Hot Drama⢠Last Night...
Iâm still sitting here thinking âHOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW IS NO ONE QUESTIONING FJORDâS SHADINESS RIGHT NOW?!?â
âBut Annie? Fjord did nothing really last night? I mean, the shadiest shit that happened is that he refuses to tell the others about his Cthulhu-y patron and thatâs pretty much happened since the beginning so....â
Oh my Sweet Summer Child, let me explain:Â
As soon as the fishmen were defeated and the Nein began to investigate the puddle and the room, Fjord began to hear his patron whispering to him âLEARN.â (Which pushes his patron even deeper as a Cthulhu âAncient Oneâ God but thatâs a theory for another post) At this point in time, the Nein are debating whether or not to just seal up the passage way and continue on to their second job. Fjord, WHOM EVERYONE JUST SEEMS TO TRUST FOR WHATEVER FUCKING REASON, just throws in this little âSome of us can swim; We can just popped down and see whatâs down there.â In a matter of SECONDS, the whole conversation turns from a âletâs just seal this motherfucker upâ to a âWell... letâs just look and see; no harm, no foul, right?â And he KNOWS, this little motherfucker KNOWS, that the Nein know about his sailor background. OF FUCKING COURSE theyâre going to send him on a mission that requires being a decent swimmer--- he has to be a good swimmer in order to be a sailor, right? (Or so the logic goes.) So they have him helm this recon mission with a small group consisting of him, Jester and Molly. And, SOMEHOW, it quickly became just Fjord with a rope tied around his waist for safety.
The MOMENT Fjord jumped into the pool, he lets go of the rope and swims into a cavern with no back-up, no safety net, nothing. The first thought that would cross MY mind, without knowing all of the Cthulhu shit thatâs been happening, is Fjord may be walking into a room full of twenty fishmen with no back-up and no way to communicate with the group if he gets in trouble. Heâs already EXTREMELY low on Health, going unconscious in the fight just minutes before and yet, he decided to go against the group and remove the rope from his waist? Thatâs odd. Itâs also odd that he refused healing when, again, he may be walking into a room full of 20 fishmen. Heâs being super risky for no apparent reason and thatâd be enough to make me suspicious.Â
Fjord goes into the other room, finds more fishmen and stuff, and then decides to come back to relay this to the group. (Of course more Cthulhu shit happens but thatâs neither here nor there at this point because we all kinda knew it was gonna happen.) Beau immediately points out that the Nein did their job; they secured the safehouse and they should be on their way--- just seal the damn thing up and move on. But Fjord adds that there were things over there; crates, objects and the like. The Nein have no obligation to get The Gentleman his stuff back. Half of his things were already destroyed, so trying to get the contraband seems like a moot point. BUT Fjord has been with these people for... a couple weeks or so canonically--- he has a general idea of how these guys work. The Nein are in it for the loot, the gold, and anything that can benefit themselves. Dropping the fact that there may be A LOT OF LOOT on the other side of this water tunnel? That is the BEST way to get them to NOT walk away from this fight.Â
To put it simply, during this ENTIRE CONVERSATION Fjord is doing nothing but manipulating the Mighty Nein to suit his own agendas and the ONLY FUCKING REASON that people think heâs a forthright kind of fellow is the fact that he doesnât lie per say. Yes, he may lie about the fact that he SWALLOWED A FUCKING SWORD and stuff thatâs SUPER important. But who would know to incite check the fact that he bit his lip in the middle of the night? Itâs a reasonable assumption to make. And THEN just to make sure that the Nein trust him, he spills some of the beans about the reason his teeth are all chipped and filed down, turning the focus away from the âbitten lipâ to his painful childhood. Making yourself âvulnerableâ is the best way to make people think youâre not a threat and so yeah, Fjord lies but he lies sparingly and carefully. So any random incite check, especially ones with very low rolls, will give people the impression that Fjord doesnât lie. No, what he mostly uses is manipulation--- suggesting ideas and a certain way of thinking while making the Nein believe that itâs their OWN idea, not Fjordâs.Â
There are more instances of Fjordâs shady shit in the past but for the purposes of last nightâs episode, this has been the most egregious example. I donât trust that motherfucker. Heâs about as sketchy as Percy, and WE ALL KNOW about the crazy shit Percy pulled last campaign. Keep an eye on Fjord. I PROMISE YOU something is gonna come out of his planning and scheming and blind devotion to this entity that he knows ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about. Mark my words: if he doesnât eventually turn on the party later on down the road, theyâre all gonna become his little puppets and pawns in a larger game that no one knows heâs playing.
I donât trust that motherfucker at all.
I'm cackling.
Swing is a fucking swing.
I'm cackling.
Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.
I have been waiting for this post all my life.
They are indeed purple, But one thing youâve missed: The concept of âpurpleâ Didnât always exist.
Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his âwine-dark sea.â
A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.
So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. Iâm hugely pedantic But what else is new?
My friend youâre not wrong About Homerâs wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;
Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple Youâve given short shrift.
The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.
By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree
Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved
For only the emperor!
The word âpurpleâ, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century
.
Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long
Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.
The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue
.
While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.
But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.
IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER.
My reaction, only with coffee.
Hang on, need to send this to my literature prof
@deadcatwithaflamethrower Look at this. Poetry and ligustics and history and fabrics.
This is basically Linguistic Porn.

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Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
When your job has a no-pet policy.
AAAHHH AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
I cackle at every porn blog that follows me. You fools. You imbeciles. How could you embarrass yourselves like this