Craig Shoemaker

HaHa-LOL there…

Lots going on with us.  My instincts are moving in an inspired direction, and it appears this Law of Attraction stuff really works!

As many of you know, my prime mission is to not only lifting spirits through levity, but to raise awareness of the healing powers of laughter. My intention is to assist our world into a different kind of narrative than the one we are now mindlessly accustomed to, being bombarded by messages of negativity and division. Whereas laughter should be at the forefront of our lives, it many times takes a back seat to the fear, doubt and worry that we are fed on a daily basis.

I’m now forming partnerships with some of the most influential people in the consciousness/transformational community, and our goal is to merge worlds in a very profound way. As we gain a better understanding of the benefits of a hearty guffaw, it will cause a much-needed shift in energy and thought, leading folks to “find the funny” as a way to break through any condition. The evolutionary leaders of today are missing one element – more fun to go with the meditating and levitating. And the comedy community seems to be lacking exuberant ethos, many times choosing cynicism and sarcasm over a soulful, healthy laugh. Now, we can combine the ethereal “Woo-Woo” world with the Ha-Ha.”

So begins the next and most exciting road of my journey – to help build a bridge to all communities.

That is my mission. Like a joke, some might take a while to get it, but that’s okay. A lot of people I know just don’t know how to lift out of the muck, when it simply starts with willingness to yuk.

There have been a couple more indicators that a personal and professional transition is taking place.

The podcast/webcast is already four weeks in, and we are really having a blast and gaining steam! It is called “Laugh It Off, with Craig Shoemaker.” You can listen or watch at ToadHopNetwork.com or download (free!) on ITunes. We’re live from noon to 2pm(PST) on Mondays, but you can check out any episode, any time you want.  This is the most fun I have had in the business, probably because I can do anything I want, with no bean-counting suits trying to tell me what funny is! The feedback has been amazing; with one fan saying she needed “pee pads.”

Also, I was honored to speak at a TEDx event in Ojai, and my first foray into this world was a hit, at least for ME. I spoke about how humor has lifted me to an extraordinary life, and led the room in a “guided laughitation.” If you are curious as to what that is, listen to our radio worth watching program and participate.

Speaking of finding funny, this literally happened as I wrote this –

First, my wife plays a joke on me. She took my car in for collision repair and the rental she brought back for me to drive for 6 days is a white minivan. Yes, I laughed when I saw it, and she confirmed she did it on purpose, knowing I do not want to be seen in a car that makes me look even more like a eunuch than I already do.

Then, Justin (13) comes home and runs right to me, freaking out about what is now in our driveway. Never missing a chance for a teasing pile-on, I led him to believe it was now our new family vehicle. 20 minutes later he is still on a tirade, humiliated about pulling up to high school in something he will never live down with his friends. By the way, he is still 2 years away from high school but is apparently planning his humiliation well ahead of time! “Dad, how could you do this to me??!! It’s an albino manatee on wheels!!!”

I will reveal the joke when he reads this along with the rest of you…

I enjoy being home not only because I love my family so much but they are so ripe with low hanging fruit to pick for comedy material. This week I work close to home.  I will be performing at the Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Thursday-Saturday, and then April 28th at the Canyon Club in nearby Agoura, California.

Oh, almost forgot, I just received word that the one-hour special, “Daditude,” was picked up by Showtime Network and will be shown in prime time this fall. As the date approaches, I will fill you in on the deets. In the meantime, please follow frequent posts on Facebook “like” craigshoemakerfanpage or follow me on Twitter @TheLovemaster. Lots of touring!! So, check there or CraigShoemaker.com for info on performance dates and times.

Stay in touch and remember to Laugh It Off!

Greetings! This upcoming week I’ll be playing at Zanies in Chicago for one night only (Thursday, March 8th) and then moving on to Zanies in St. Charles for the next two days (March 9-10). The following week I’ll be back in Cali at the Brea Improv (March 16-18). Be sure to check my website for my tour dates as they are constantly being updated. 

I have some very exciting news I’d like to share with you all! I am fortunate enough to have been presented with an opportunity to do my own Webcast/Podcast titled, “Laugh It Off!” on the Toad Hop Network. My intention with this show, debuting Monday, March 26th and airing live every Monday from 2pm to 3pm PST, will be to encourage our audience to look for alternative ways to find happiness and subsequent wellness in their every day lives. 

I am thrilled at this opportunity for many reasons, and one of those reasons is that this will be a FREE podcast where listeners can either call in and/or video chat on their computers and connect directly with us throughout our program. 

Now, I have been in the comedy business for three decades now, and I’m still perplexed as to the lack of respect or understanding there is regarding the value of humor.

Old thoughts should be re-examined and then re-turned to sender. We’ve been bombarded with messages that prevent us from laughing more, due to blind acceptance of false information we've been given by parents and society as a whole. 

For example, we’ve all grown up hearing the repetition of negative phrases such as, "Wipe that smile off your face." "What are YOU laughing at?" "You look so silly." "You must take this seriously or you'll fail." "You’re laughing like a fool." "Grow up!"......These are but a few nuggets our brains were filled with when we were filled with, so it’s no shock that people have difficulty letting go and having a good time, with such negativity rattling in their heads. 

When I let go of the programmed belief that I look like an idiot if I laugh,  and then allow a truthful connection to what is, then my entire being feels uplifted. Actually, it centers and strengthens me. I’m not “crazy.” Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held it’s ground.

Think of all that is preserved when we move away from the prescription drugs being pushed down our throats by multi billion dollar drug companies, and toward a wellness program filled with humor and levity. Half of the commercial time for a modern drug is the listing of hazardous side effects. Maybe we need a laughter lobby in Washington??

These are just a few topics we will be discussing on the Podcast. We will not tell you how to do anything, but instead we will share our stories of our own failures and successes and how laughter and/or the lack of laughter has affected our own journey. In doing so, we hope to create a “Humorous Highway” to healing. 

Of course, there will be plenty of silly ole fun in addition to raising the awareness of the power of laughter, and offering good medicine that won’t cost a dime. Now, THAT is affordable health care!  Just open up and say “Haa Haaa!” We hope you’ll tune in, listen, laugh, and heal with us. 

Laugh on! 

Kinda different for me this Thanksgiving, as I am flying cross-country right about the time three of your family members are passing out from tryptophan OD. Hanging in my Philly hometown for a few days, capped off with a performance at the Colonial Theatre in Phoenixville (http://www.thecolonialtheatre.com) on Saturday Nov 26th. It’s an old theatre where they filmed the “classic” 1950’s film “The Blob.” The Lovemaster promises to make a bigger mess, baby!

This comedy career is reflectively amusing me of late. Never hit the big time, but am still going strong since Ava Tamini’s back yard keg party show in 11th grade. Wow. I’ve had the same job for three decades. 

Not bad for coming from zero, and parents who certainly didn’t co-sign THIS occupational choice. I guess we can finally agree it’s not a “phase” where I need to find something to “fall back on.”

When I play the Punchline (http://www.punchline.com) in Atlanta (and will again this December), I peruse the old 8x10 black & white promo photos on their paneled wall, which have not changed in decades. It’s a mirth memory lane, as I reflect on my history with all my comedy comrades, some who became superstars, some who quit the business and some who left the earth stage early, due to too much search for something outside to fix the insides.

Last week, on November 20th, it was the 24th anniversary of the day I stopped my personal party of the chemical kind. I woke up this past Sunday morning after playing a private gig the night before in front of 600 police officers, which are ironically the same folks I would have avoided in my past life, and began to look back at where I came from. 

I boarded a small plane from Reno to LA, and got an internal kick out of seeing comic legends Cheech & Chong sit right behind me, and being on the morning of my 24 year mark of not imbibing made it too surreal. The first comedy routine I ever wrote and performed was “celebrities at a pot party,” and I imitated these stoner icons as the hosts of the bong bash. As a teen, after listening to recordings of the duo, and howling laughing with my buddies Cerami and Wartenberg, I’d clean my weed on their album cover and roll another one up with Bambu rolling papers. 

Even after all these years in show biz, I rarely get noticed in public. I have countless incidents of people not recognizing me, even minutes after the show. Last Saturday I was in an elevator, with 6 happy people talking about the show they had just seen, to the guy who WAS the show they had just seen. One time I hit a ball on a golf course and went, “oh, yeah…” The guy I was paired with says, “You sound like the Lovemaster.” I said, “I guess I would, since I’m him.” Sarcastically he comes back, “yeah, aren’t we all.” I then do the Lovemaster voice and the guy responds, “that was good, but you’re no Craig Shoemaker.”

But the ultimate unnoticed, ordinary looking white male story happened on the plane from Reno last Sunday. We begin our descent and the man across the aisle, who has spent the entire flight three feet away from me, taps the guy in front of me, “Hey Rog, he’s hysterical. How much would it cost me to hire Craig Shoemaker?”

Craig Shoemaker, on the brink of anonymity…

One more short story and then I’ll let you run back to the leftovers…

Labor Day weekend I was scheduled to take a daddy-son trip to Hawaii with middle son, Jared. He’s seven, and has seen me take his older brother (solo) to numerous events and countless vacations. After making all the arrangements and building up to the big day, my ex wife pulled a fast one and cancelled the trip for Jared. I didn’t fight it, but was deeply sad at a lost chance for a fun father-son bonding, all because of residual bitterness from someone who simply won’t let go and let be.

For some reason, this one really got to me, and I spent my first two days in paradise feeling anything but. I was miserable and stayed to myself, spending every moment off stage in my darkened hotel room.

Then, a long time fan and neonatal nurse named Karen, contacted me to ask of I would visit a mother of a newborn, who was camped out at a local hospital, hoping for her daughter to survive being born months early with numerous health issues.

I decided to get over my personal pity party, and went to offer some cheer-up, since I was told that Christal (the mom) was into my comedy. I told Karen that I would do it, but that no one ever knows who I am. Karen seemed more confident that this was going to be a great surprise.

When I walked into the waiting room, the joy was obvious on a face that so needed a chuckle, after enduring months of not knowing what is in store for her little newborn. Indeed, she knew who I was right away, and we went right into having some fun as if we knew one another for a long time. We posed for pictures and shared many laughs, and then walked into the Nic unit to see her little infant, who was clinging on to her life. They opened the window of the incubator and I sang a little tune and whispered a few affirmations to little Caylee. Even with her eyes closed and with various tubes and needles in her delicate skin, we got her to flash a slight smile.

I took Christal and nurse Karen to lunch and hosted them at the Hawaiian comedy show, where I thanked them for giving me this beautiful and heart fulfilling opportunity. We all needed it that day, and felt such relief from our personal struggles. It certainly put mine into perspective.

Last week, Caylee lost her struggle to stay alive. It’s hard to fathom how someone whom I’ve never heard a word from could affect me so much, but her spirit has indeed left a footprint on my soul. And I must say, when I posted on Facebook a desire for all to send healing energy their way, I am amazed how many of you stepped up. Blows me away, more than any joint ever did…

  I was advised to keep these newsletters brief. A storyteller has a rough time with that directive, and the truncated tweet speech these days is causing an internal WTF. It is not easy to tell someone known as “The Lovemaster” to trim length, but I’ll try.

 Here are my Updates…

 Finishing a book of  “short” stories called, “Who’s Your Daddy,” published by Celebrity Publishing and will be out in the fall.

 Thelaughterstore.com was founded in 2004, offering gifts that make you grin, giggle and guffaw. Look for a new and improved site next week, offering a more enjoyable visit and thousands of products. 

 The one hour special, “Daditude” is now complete. Will give more info on cable network and release date when I get it. 

 Going to start something new on the Facebook “like” page. If you go there, we will take a list of questions from you and I will make videos that answer your inquires or requests. 

 Upcoming dates include:  San Jose, Charlotte, Raleigh, Cleveland, Denver, Hermosa Beach, Tempe, Ventura, Philadelphia,  Pleasanton, Atlanta, and New Year’s week in Irvine.

 There are some private dates I don’t put on the calendar, but perhaps I will see you at one of those, or you will suggest to your boss the holiday party needs a laugh injection. 

 Ok. GTG? TY. 

 CS

Another key to the getaway was being able to be anywhere else but around our house. For the last four months we have been doing major renovations that include adding a master bathroom so I don’t have to bruise my heels on a tub toy or wait an hour for my (now) teen son to finish marinating in his Axe bodywash & spray. People have told me for many years that home construction can destroy families, but I must admit that the company we hired has been top notch and pretty much pain free. I’d like to recommend Ray, who owns CDR Remodeling for anyone in the greater Los Angeles area that needs home repairs, restoration, or building. He does it all, from design to finish. They have been quick, honest, and (get this) STAYED UNDER BUDGET! Along with all that, Ray has great taste and follow through, making my wife's job easier and more inspired, and hence getting me more fringe "benefits" from my happy woman. Go to Ray for the foreplay...

Now, I do have to pay for the seven hundred additional square feet, so I’m back to pushin’ punch lines this week. I’ll be in New York City for one night only at Gotham Comedy Club this Wednesday night at 8 o’clock. Following that, I start a three-day run at a new venue for me called COMIX at Foxwoods Comedy Club Bar & Lounge in Mashantucket, CT. Labor Day weekend I’ll be returning to the place where it all started – Honolulu, Hawaii. Well, actually, it wasn’t my first stand up appearance, but I was conceived in the Navy barracks somewhere near Hawaii Comedy Theater – Waikiki. For this gig, I was the first comedian featured on Groupon (gee, what an honor the Neil Armstrong of discount online offers). For those of you interested in attending one of the three shows in Hawaii, I’d like to extend the same discount for your tickets. If interested, please contact [email protected]. We will give you the island special.

Finally, I’d like to say happy birthday to Donna Buxton. This is no ordinary birthday wish. As a surprise, her sister and husband hired me to show up to her birthday gathering at their backyard pool. I don’t know who was more entertained, me or the twenty friends and family members. One of her sisters works at TSA, who are at the top of my resentment list even ahead of the hooligans who stole my golf clubs, but she had the funniest stories about working airport security, which I’m sure will end up in my act. I wish I could be hired for similar appearances where I do what I do best – sitting around sharing humorous stories (that aren’t in my act) and bonding with good people.

I receive hundreds of email forwards with a common tone of negativity about our leaders and the perceptive condition of our country. It always puzzles me how it's so accepted and commonplace to receive notes of rallying cries for war, or outrage against a particular group, country or party, but rarely do we send words of encouragement or belief in ourselves... 

 The network news bombards us with darkness, following their credo, "If it bleeds, it leads." I am doing my best (in my own little way) to raise awareness of that fact, and hence move us into a more healing and lighter space as a society. I don't necessarily prefer attack or being "against" something, but hold a strong desire to uplift, inspire and lead by compassionate example. I am more FOR than "opposed." I go for initiatives that take us to a higher consciousness.

 I realize most expect jokes to come out of a comedian. A few have actually de-friended me on facebook for expressing views that were in conflict with the former fan's stances or thoughts on whom I should be. To those who have a similar reaction as you read this, I will tell you two things -- one is that I am a man of greater depth and meaning than being a "mirth monkey." My complexity and diversity (I believe) make me into the comic I am. My best work is when I allow my creative river to flow, unimpeded by old thoughts, fears or what you think about me…two, I’d like to create a space in our world that invites in more humor and levity. Right now, we are letting fear & loathing of the unknown dominate our souls, exacerbated by the fact that loud mouth know-it-alls on TV bombard us with paradoxical messages of self doubt and false pride. "We are the world leader" messages are followed by stats on how low we have gotten with test scores, health and economy. the "U.S.A., love it or leave it people" have suddenly been leading the protest train with "We want our country back!" Network "journalists" proclaim "this great country of ours" within the same breath as they tell us what is wrong with us and how our president is to blame. Unfortunately for those who do not tend to have a strong voice, like the poor, disenfranchised and many minorities, the views expressed are from a very myopic perspective, not one of inclusion or empowerment.

 The current state of the arts is a reflection of the greater whole, where we compromise our integrity and true self, letting others choose our creative menu for us. The pundits (sponsored by big corporations) are funding the show, and the fallout is a grim choice of television programming. Networks are run by bean counters without the guts to take risks or the guile to challenge the system. Without organic thought, we are left with unoriginal, attention-deficit-disorder crap. We allowed them to lower our standards, and now the talentless are in charge of our mass media. When Snooki and "The Situation" are our biggest stars of today, isn't it time to pick ourselves out of the abyss? What a symbolic duo they are: greased up, selfish, entitled and filled with righteous anger. Another oil spill for us to clean up…

 I actually feel sad for the countless citizens who have gravitated towards anger and outrage to deal with their inner confusion. So many are re-reciting speeches and sound bites they are fed from people who want them to do just that. It’s a wonder who out there is finding authentic joy in their lives. The more we turn our feelings outward, the less chance we have of finding our true purpose. Sense of humor takes development of a sense of self. To me, the laughter dies with the numbing down of America, as we lose our identity and inner guidance.

 If you think I am offering just opinion, observe the news. See who sponsors the program. It isn’t a teacher's union, trust me, but by the sounds of it you would think they are responsible for all our ills. Do we truly think a journalist can be objective when paid solely by large corporations? It’s just a logical question, but even asking it causes people to become enraged and go on the attack. And their unkind words are laced with (what they believe to be) "facts."

 A fact is something I can see with my own eye, and I can certainly spend a day watching TV and see who pulls the strings and pays ‘em all off to hide the truth.

 And they are most definitely in the pockets of politicians too, trying to exact their will and change policy so they can gorge on even more of the pie. By the way, there are many close-minded politicians now trying to take away our one outlet and voice; public TV and radio. It is a threat to their agenda, so they try their best to have total control of our hearts and minds, so I’d suggest we get up and do something about it. Otherwise you will have to get your critical thought and intelligent comedy from a Kardashian sister.

 So, I write this and pass on an interesting and thought provoking article in hopes that it may spark someone to stand for positive transformation. Perhaps against your wishes, I invite you to read the words below (written over a year ago) with an open mind and spirit. If you are so moved, please forward this man's essay to your email list. It will probably hold more value than forwarding a good luck totem pole. The article was sent to me by my former next door neighbor, who is 87 and concerned for the future of her grandchildren. She and I are not of a political party or some crazy lefties, but are concerned Americans who want to initiate a change in paradigm. Surely we cannot stay on this current path of political divisiveness and think we will thrive.... 

 I am sending this to all shapes, desires and political persuasions, in hope that our country can become more unified and get back to "pursuing happiness," as our forefathers proclaimed. If our president is our current quarterback, I want to WIN, and he has my full support in leading us to victory! This is my small way of getting behind my team -- the United States of America. If we remain in the stands and boo every play, what can we say we did for ourselves to succeed? This comes to you from my deeper consciousness, not my religious or political affiliation….thanks! Craig

Obama will Triumph - So Will America

By Frank Schaeffer Before he’d served even one year President Obama lost the support of the easily distracted left and engendered the white hot rage of the hate-filled right. But some of us, from all walks of life and ideological backgrounds -- including this white, straight, 57-year-old, former religious right wing agitator, now progressive writer and (given my background as the son of a famous evangelical leader) this unlikely Obama supporter -- are sticking with our President. Why?-- because he is succeeding.  We faithful Obama supporters still trust our initial impression of him as a great, good and uniquely qualified man to lead us.  Obama’s steady supporters will be proved right. Obama’s critics will be remembered as easily panicked and prematurely discouraged at best and shriveled hate mongers at worst.  The Context of the Obama Presidency Not since the days of the rise of fascism in Europe, the Second World War and the Depression has any president faced more adversity. Not since the Civil War has any president led a more bitterly divided country. Not since the introduction of racial integration has any president faced a more consistently short-sighted and willfully ignorant opposition – from both the right and left. As the President’s poll numbers have fallen so has his support from some on the left that were hailing him as a Messiah not long ago; all those lefty websites and commentators that were falling all over themselves on behalf of our first black president during the 2008 election.  The left’s lack of faith has become a self-fulfilling “prophecy”-- snipe at the President and then watch the poll numbers fall and then pretend you didn’t have anything to do with it!  Here is what Obama faced when he took office-- none of which was his fault: # An ideologically divided country to the point that America was really two countries # Two wars; one that was mishandled from the start, the other that was unnecessary and immoral # The worst economic crisis since the depression # America’s standing in the world at the lowest point in history # A country that had been misled into accepting the use of torture of prisoners of war # A health care system in free fall  # An educational system in free fall # A global environmental crisis of history-altering proportions (about which the Bush administration and the Republicans had done nothing) # An impasse between culture warriors from the right and left # A huge financial deficit inherited from the terminally irresponsible Bush administration… And those were only some of the problems sitting on the President’s desk! “Help” from the Right? What did the Republicans and the religious right, libertarians and half-baked conspiracy theorists -- that is what the Republicans were reduced to by the time Obama took office -- do to “help” our new president (and our country) succeed? They claimed that he wasn’t a real American, didn’t have an American birth certificate, wasn’t born here, was secretly a Muslim, was white-hating "racist", was secretly a communist, was actually the Anti-Christ, (!) and was a reincarnation of Hitler and wanted “death panels” to kill the elderly!  They not-so-subtly called for his assassination through the not-so-subtle use of vile signs held at their rallies and even a bumper sticker quoting Psalm 109:8. They organized “tea parties” to sound off against imagined insults and all government in general and gathered to howl at the moon. They were led by insurance industry lobbyists and deranged (but well financed) “commentators” from Glenn Beck to Rush Limbaugh.  The utterly discredited Roman Catholic bishops teamed up with the utterly discredited evangelical leaders to denounce a president who was trying to actually do something about the poor, the environment, to diminish the number of abortions through compassionate programs to help women and to care for the sick! And in Congress the Republican leadership only knew one word: “No!” In other words the reactionary white, rube, uneducated, crazy American far right,combined with the educated but obtuse neoconservative war mongers, religious right shills for big business, libertarian Fed Reserve-hating gold bug, gun-loving crazies, child-molesting acquiescent “bishops”, frontier loons and evangelical gay-hating flakes found one thing to briefly unite them: their desire to stop an uppity black man from succeeding at all costs!  “Help” from the Left? What did the left do to help their newly elected president? Some of them excoriated the President because they disagreed with the bad choices he was being forced to make regarding a war in Afghanistan that he’d inherited from the worst president in modern history!  Others stood up and bravely proclaimed that the President’s economic policies had “failed” before the President even instituted them! Others said that since all gay rights battles had not been fully won within virtually minuets of the President taking office, they’d been “betrayed”! (Never mind that Obama’s vocal support to the gay community is stronger than any other president’s has been. Never that mind he signed a new hate crimes law!)  Those that had stood in transfixed legions weeping with beatific emotion on election night turned into an angry mob saying how "disappointed" they were that they’d not all immediately been translated to heaven the moment Obama stepped into the White House! Where was the “change”? Contrary to their expectations they were still mere mortals!  And the legion of young new supporters was too busy texting to pay attention for longer than a nanosecond… “Governing”?! What the hell does that world, uh, like mean?”  The President’s critics left and right all had one thing in common: impatience laced with little-to-no sense of history (let alone reality) thrown in for good measure. Then of course there were the white, snide know-it-all commentators/talking heads who just couldn’t imagine that maybe, just maybe they weren’t as smart as they thought they were and certainly not as smart as their president. He hadn’t consulted them, had he? So he must be wrong!  The Obama critics' ideological ideas defined their idea of reality rather than reality defining their ideas—say, about what is possible in one year in office after the hand that the President had been dealt by fate, or to be exact by the American idiot nation that voted Bush into office… twice!  Meanwhile back in the reality-based community – in just 12 short months -- President Obama: #Continued the draw down the misbegotten war in Iraq  (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Thoughtfully and decisively picked the best of several bad choices regarding the war in Afghanistan (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics) #Gave a major precedent-setting speech supporting gay rights (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics) #Restored America’s image around the globe (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Banned torture of American prisoners (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Stopped the free fall of the American economy (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Put the USA squarely back in the bilateral international community  (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Put the USA squarely into the middle of the international effort to halt global warming (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Stood up for educational reform (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Won a Nobel peace prize (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Moved the trial of terrorists back into the American judicial system of checks and balances (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Did what had to be done to start the slow, torturous and almost impossible process of health care reform that 7 presidents had failed to even begin (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Responded to hatred from the right and left with measured good humor and patience (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics) #Stopped the free fall of job losses  (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Showed immense personal courage in the face of an armed and dangerous far right opposition that included the sort of disgusting people that show up at public meetings carrying loaded weapons and carrying Timothy McVeigh-inspired signs about the “blood of tyrants” needing to “water the tree of liberty”… (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  #Showed that he could not only make the tough military choices but explain and defend them brilliantly (But that wasn’t good enough for his critics)  Other than those "disappointing" accomplishments -- IN ONE YEAR -- President Obama “failed”! Other than that he didn’t “live up to expectations”!  Who actually has failed... ...are the Americans that can’t see the beginning of a miracle of national rebirth right under their jaded noses. Who failed are the smart ass ideologues of the left and right who began rooting for this President to fail so that they could be proved right in their dire and morbid predictions. Who failed are the movers and shakers behind our obscenely dumb news cycles that have turned “news” into just more stupid entertainment for an entertainment-besotted infantile country. Here’s the good news: President Obama is succeeding without the help of his lefty “supporters” or hate-filled Republican detractors!  The Future Looks Good After Obama has served two full terms, (and he will), after his wisdom in moving deliberately and cautiously with great subtlety on all fronts -- with a canny and calculating eye to the possible succeeds, (it will), after the economy is booming and new industries are burgeoning, (they will be), after the doomsayers are all proved not just wrong but silly: let the record show that not all Americans were panicked into thinking the sky was falling.  Just because we didn’t get everything we wanted in the first short and fraught year Obama was in office not all of us gave up. Some of us stayed the course. And we will be proved right.  PS. if you agree that Obama is shaping up to be a great president please pass this on and hang in there!  Frank Schaeffer is a writer and author of “Patience With God – Faith For People Who Don’t Like Religion (Or Atheism).” Frank may be contacted at Frankschaeffer.com

Charlie Sheen now has 3.5 million followers on Twitter. This was a piece of breaking news I observed crawling across a television screen in an airport.

 I saw a number of impressionable and vulnerable teens, tweens and kids watching this breaking news, and silently wondered what their reaction was to this latest tabloid fever-du-jour. If they are like I was at that age, they probably think this dude is a God.

 I seem to have easy access to my thoughts and feelings from that time of my life, and believe my empathic vibe is tuned into the minds of the youngins.

 The hormones run the show at that age, and I’m betting the pornographic, drug enhanced actions of Charlie Sheen are seen as something to strive for.  Even though he is a middle-aged father of five from Malibu, my hunch is that the kids are looking up to this self proclaimed Adonis. He is hugely popular right now, the role model for the unlaid.

 What is something not being understood is that Charlie is the same age as the father they’re rebelling from. You don’t listen to your dad, so why hold stock in one of his peers? Maybe pop’s golf partner can score you some good weed while you’re at it.

 I don’t want to pull the “stupid youth” card, especially considering my days before adulthood.

 I look back at my formative years and see who it was guiding me at the time. Searching my personal memory and picturing me a couple decades ago and what was in vogue, our particular idol of rebellion, partying and sexual conquest was…BOY GEORGE!

 That sucks.

 Considering how the Culture Club front man’s life turned out, perhaps we should examine this more closely by getting some perspective on why throngs of adoring fans would buy a ticket to hear Charlie instruct them on how they could be more like Good Luck Chuck. If we follow someone and allow their words to inspire us in certain directions, we might want some historical perspective and see how other possessors of jungle cat blood turned out

 Off the cuff, I will list a few others I recall as being leaders of my generation of “duh, winners” in the game of life.

 My list of warlocks from my era would begin with…

 Hugh Hefner. What is weird about the Hef is he was old to me then, so I can’t imagine someone admiring him now. I used to think, “Who would have sex with that over seasoned prune?” He was probably the age I am now when I said it. By the way, I have been to the Playboy Mansion, which is a dream come true for most heterosexual dudes. Well, the myth was extinguished the moment Hef walked towards me in the robe, which was the perfect color to highlight the snowdrift of dandruff on his shoulders. The hearing aid dangled. Apparently the stud is not hearing the pleasure screams as good as he used to.

 David Hasselhoff. The Hoff. I have never been fond of anyone calling himself  “THE” anything. The Fonz is okay, but he was from “the” fifties, and was fictitious anyway. Considering the amount of drunken trouble the Hoff has been in, perhaps we should go with “The Hassle” anyway. I was actually jealous of this guy, who went to work in a Speedo and was surrounded by scantily clad hotties. But when one looks beyond the slow motion beach rescue, he’s an actor and never actually had to save a life. These days he can barely save his own.

 Lorenzo Lamas. The Renegade, tooling around on his chopper with badass stare and fly in the wind mullet. Although raised in Beverly Hills by Hollywood actor parents, we were all supposed to think you would never let loose on the Lamas or you would pay with your life. Currently, this cool cat has had nine wives, and all the Knot’s Landing dough is long gone on his hos, most of whom ended up in the grotto with Hef.

 Ricky Martin. This guy had chicks screaming for him since he was a teen with the group “Menudo.” Unfortunately for them, there was no interest in any of the ladies “Livin’ la Vida Loca with Mr. Martin. Needless to say his coming out of the closet didn't gain him any Facebook friend requests from the horny straight male population.

 George Michael. I used to grow a half beard to look like him, even though I only had a couple dozen cheekbone hairs to display. He was the better half of the popular pop duo, “Wham.” When they broke up, it wasn't exactly with the same shock and upset as Lennon and McCartney, but one wondered what would happen to them. Andrew Ridgley became so anonymous; I had to Google him to even recall his name. Mr. Michael rounded out the late 80s on top of the charts, but then went to the top of the police blotter, being caught “red handed” in a men’s room soliciting a male prostitute. Well, I’m not sure what color his hands were at the time, but suffice to say he wasn't building his image as a pimp daddy. A whole new meaning for “smoking in the boy’s room.”

 Eric Roberts. This guy was on fuego in the 80s, even starring in…well, “Star 80.” Before Julia Roberts, there was older bro Eric, who was sought after by the biggest movie directors, sharing the screen with some of Tinsel Town’s biggest stars. Then, before you know it, the former Oscar nominee is sought after by Doctor Drew and Celebrity Rehab, cohabitating with the big name personalities like the mother of a no-name called Keisha Coles and Tiger Wood’s mistress.  Add a dose (or over dose) of teen idol Leif Garrett and you have a high rated cable show, but not a thespian’s dream.

 Mickey Rourke. One of his great film roles was playing opposite the aforementioned Roberts in “The Pope Of Greenwich Village.” He was the anti actor, redefining what we thought of as celluloid cool. What followed were years on steroids and a career veer into a boxing ring. I never saw any of his fights, but judging by his new look. I’m assuming he lost every bout. There was a movie a few years ago where he made a comeback playing “The Wrestler,” where he played a down and out druggie/drunk, but this could have been submitted in the documentary category. He has had resurgence in the movies, although in his last role he played a monster and didn't need prosthetic makeup.

 So, you see, today’s tiger’s blood is tomorrow’s transfusion. I hope I can advise my kids to take another path other than working on their 10-minute abs, unless they want a 10-minute career. I will tell them to be a geek like their dad. My Goddess is my wife, and one is enough. I never have to look in the mirror with glassy eyes and question whether I am loved or if my marriage is based on the amount of money I have.

If you are like me and type like you have frostbite, you prefer actual face to face(book), I'll be talking to you live answering your questions on Friday, May 6th at 6pm.