A frustrating thing about being aware of transmisogyny is how hard it is to convince other transfems (particularly those who are newly out) of its existence as a real form of oppression.
You'll meet a girl who got kicked out of a queer group because of a sex joke she made that landed badly, and she'll just be taking 100% of the blame and saying she deserved it, saying that she should have known her place and been meek and sexless to prove that she's not a predator.
You'll meet a girl who's afraid to go to the laser clinic, because the one time she went she overheard the laser techs arguing about who would be "burdened" with her, and from that she internalised that she *is* a burden that no one should have to deal with.
You'll meet a girl who's gone to the theoretically-inclusive sapphic meetup like ten times, even though no-one ever talks to her, and when she tries to talk to them they give a one-word response and turn away. And she just keeps going back because she thinks the problem is that she's the "new girl". Even though there have been three newer girls than her who are already in the in-group.
Some of these women are so used to marginalisation and mistreatment, that when it happens again and again they consider it the natural course of events. It's their own fault, some unique character flaw that they alone have. And they're so isolated and desperate for community that they will put up with any amount of abuse from other queers.
Sometimes it's only after seeing it happen several times to *other* transfems, and never any other kind of queer person even if they do exactly the same things, that they realise that a pattern exists, and there is a name for that pattern, and all there's a whole world of transfeminist writing for them to dive into with newly-opened eyes.
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