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@cpaige41
You will never understand me.
I love hard, deeply, and fast. Fantastically. But every time I've tried to give it to someone I have been shut down so hard I wouldn't dare to try again. I am like those dogs trained to stay inside fences that aren't there. Technically I could cross the line but I know what will happen if I do. So I don't. So I love quietly now. Subdued.
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She's just waiting for that one person to sit her down, look her in the eyes and say, "I'm not giving up on you, you're worth it. I'm going to learn how to love you right, and I'm not going anywhere" and actually mean it for once.
I have someone I am in love with. The trouble is I am not enough for him. I never will be. I am not good, I am rotten. He has so much good. I am fat, and ugly, and uneducated, I am poor, I annoy and bother him, and I have nothing good in me. He can do much better. He will see my bad. He will choose someone else. I don't blame him, I understand. I'm sure I would do the same if I had any sense. But still.
sb, I love you.
I will miss you when I'm gone. I'm sorry for my bad.
I will end it in 705 days
I just want love. That's all I've ever wanted and never gotten.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
My existence in the world is completely useless. I bring nothing valuable or pleasant to anyone or to anywhere on earth. Why has the universe kept me here so long? I should just end my torture myself. Someone help me end it.
'What do you leave to the world that made it even the tiniest bit better than it would have been without you?'
Jenn Lyons, from The Ruin of Kings
Nothing but the space I'll leave when I die. Others will breathe more clearly then.
I am simply an inconvenience to the world. I can’t understand people and I can’t be helpful. I am nothing but a burden. All I seem to do is get in the way.
I realized on my road-trip that I’m currently on that I seemed to only be in the way or an afterthought in her eyes. The only one who seemed to bother with me was my stepmom. The revelation that I would hardly be missed caused tears to well up in my eyes, but I blinked them away before they could spill.
At least I seem to do well as an achievement- I am in clubs and have good grades and it seems impressive to some. I am only here to be bragged on and the occasional joke I suppose.
“As long as I can make them laugh it doesn’t matter how, I’ll be alright. If I succeed in that, the human beings probably won’t mind it too much if I remain outside their lives. The one thing I should avoid is becoming offensive in their eyes: I shall be nothing, the wind, the sky.”- No Longer Human, Osamu Dazai
lonely. unwanted. worthless. forgotten. avoided. useless. unlovable. insignificant. left out. insecure. unimportant. failure. burden. hopeless. unspecial. ugly. unstable. rejected. irrelevant. pushed away. ignored. lost. misfit. overlooked. vulnerable. outcast. isolated. empty. heartbroken. neglected. helpless. unworthy. abandoned. waste of space.
better off dead.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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When my boyfriend touches me I tell him not to touch my stomach, he asks why and I say it's gross. He always says it's not gross and it's cute. That sounds like a nice way of saying chubby. What makes it worse is he's smaller than me. He has abs... I like it but I feel disgusting next to him.
One day I said I was ugly and he said no you're not ugly, I said I'm fat and that makes me ugly. He said a lot of Chinese girls would be jealous of me (he's Chinese). He said if someone is fat and pretty, they can just lose weight and be pretty but if you're ugly, you're just ugly and you can't change it so they'd be jealous.
I kind of understand his logic but it's just funny to me. It still makes me feel nice and motivates me to keep going so we can look good together.
My crush is my boyfriend now.... That's crazy..
This whole losing weight thing is paying off
Haven't weighed in like 2 weeks, a little nervous but I hope I can tomorrow
My crush posted this picture in the group chat were all in and said she was beautiful. This is my ultimate goal now. No food until then. At least she's not totally skin and bones. Because maybe he doesn't think I'm an absolute whale. But I am. I wish I could control myself.
Will they like me when I'm skinny?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Still overweight but I'm officially out of the "obese" category. I was literally right on the edge of being obese class 2 when I started. Now to get out of the "overweight" category!
I finally hit my first goal weight of 30lbs down! It took 60 days exactly.
It's supposed to be 2lbs per week healthily but I can't understand how people can do that. I think I would give up if I couldn't see alot of progress quickly. Even this felt too slow. I think it could have gone faster but I had some cheat meals to prevent binging, which worked so well! I didn't binge even once. Even on my birthday.
I want to hit my 2nd gw by Halloween if I can but if not then maybe I can get pretty close to my ugw by Christmas. I'm happy with my progress so far!
