i’d catch some stars for you

i Will get caught up with charlexa happenings eventually, rn i just don’t like the direction their writing is going as of where i stopped late april/early may

fucked up that it seems like i’m eternally trapped between my feelings for friend i love beyond reasonable measure and the friend who loved me without expectation. i have nothing besides feelings btw

stuck on this interaction i had w my brother this weekend where we found out my tires are apparently showing the wires so i need to get new ones. i was reluctant after hearing the price and i asked how long i could go w the ones i have and he’s like “hannah, is your life worth more than $800?” this stupid bitch was surprised my answer was no. what the fuck!!!???

one aspect of freakish i truly despise is their lack of acknowledgment towards race or racial-coded comments like i don’t care that barrett the character has a god-complex when the writers are choosing to include phrases like “you deserve to be with somebody superior” and “you resort to the basest of human behavior [calling lashawn and noodle animals basically].” the writers don’t intend this language to be racist (presumably, because they treat barrett as a sympathetic figure,) but i cringe every time i recall it.

trying to doomscroll on tiktok (i Am trying to do better… no im not 😔) but you can’t like one video abt workplace dynamics (silly and goofy) without getting My Work is Hell videos which is not my experience. i Love working at da library and studying da library science, i am simply the scourge on my own life, that red spot i can never wipe clean.

what do you do when feel Too Evil to live??? i can keep saying it’s a bad brain day but that doesn’t change the fact that Right Now i feel bad and wrong and every feeling is forever until it passes.

i wish i had a comically oversized mallet so i could bludgeon myself w it