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Today I'm thinking about Martin and how his childhood impacted his view of love.
(Spoilers for TMA through 118 and I'm only through 122 so no spoilers after that in the comments please!)
Growing up thinking you're broken does a lot to you. In Martin's case maybe it's because he looks like his father, but the reason doesn't matter and the fact of it still stands - his mother hates him. The one person who is supposed to love him unconditionally and without strings attached hates him.
And when that's true, what does that say about you? That you're unlovable? That you're flawed in a thousand different ways and you can bend over backwards to please everyone and shrink yourself into corners to make yourself as easy to handle as possible and none of it matters because you still won't be loved and you'll still be that person who no one could handle and no one wanted?
Maybe it says that harsh love - one-sided love, love that means you pouring your whole heart to someone who treats you terribly, because even if they can't love, you still can and you will, because you will always love even if you cannot be loved — maybe that kind of love is what you deserve. Maybe love means reciprocation for some, but oh, for you, you broken mess of a human, it means holding out your heart in your hand and offering it to someone who would never accept it.
When you grow up thinking - knowing - no one will love you, you learn that love and unrequited longing are synonymous. If someone were to love you back, it couldn't be real, well, could it?
And so Martin, like many of us, falls head over heels for the one person who is the cruelest, the most distant, and the least likely to love him back. Because that's the only kind of love he knows.
(Of course by this point in the series Jon does in fact love him back but that's not what this is about. This is more of a season one/two era thing).
martin also wanted to fight annabelle, saying "he can handle himself" or something along those lines, backing off when she asks if he can handle her. i feel like hes so often mischaracterized to either be overly soft or overly confrontational- one of his most consistent traits is his willingness to stand up for his friends (physically, emotionally, verbally) while gauging the risk of his situation. he repeatedly tells other characters hes close with to cut out their bullshit (defending jon in s2 when tim is being harsh, telling jon he needs to get his shit together ever since s1!) while being supportive of them (and, at the same time, enabling bad behaviors). hes such a complex guy i just feel like people in fandom have a hard time understanding him bc he doesnt fit into the common queer guy stereotypes (soft/push over, sassy/chaotic). idk im a martin enjoyer.
Martin is not kind to people he doesn't know. Or more specifically, to people whose suffering isn't in his immediate vicinity.
I've honestly been debating whether or not to post this, but I think it might be useful to hear. I think, as a fandom, we've gotten better at seeing Martin's cunning side, rather than seeing him as an innocent person who must be protected at all costs. But from what I've observed, most fans tend to characterize Martin as far kinder than he actually is, overlooking a lot of his flaws.
Let me be clear. Martin is absolutely kind to the people he cares about. Most of the actions Martin takes in the story are for Jon's sake, rather than his own. Granted, he can get possessive at times, he has horrible self-worth, and he blames himself for practically everything, but those are different topics.
Martin's whole thing is that he's nice. He's polite and helpful, awkward in a way that's meant to endear himself to you. This is a survival strategy he's developed due to trauma. Ultimately, when interacting with people Martin doesn't know, he's nice, but not kind. He doesn't actually care about these people, even if he pretends that he does out of some sort of moral obligation. And he especially doesn't care about theoretical suffering. I have several examples of this. Spoilers for seasons 4 and 5 of the podcast.
In MAG 158, during the scene between Martin and Jonah in the Panopticon, Jonah remarks that Martin doesn't care about what happens to the rest of the Institute staff. This could be Jonah trying to mess with Martin, but Jonah has always preferred awful truths to lies. And The Lonely only amplifies Martin's sense of indifference. It doesn't manufacture it.
In MAG 187, Jon says that if Martin saw Helen's victims up close, he might try to get Jon to smite her. The key here is that Martin's already aware of Helen's victims. He knows that Helen is evil, but she's helpful and nice, so Martin likes her. Thus, Martin is able to wave away the idea of theoretical people suffering, purposefully ignoring it so it doesn't interfere with his sense of justice. Martin is like Basira in this way.
In MAG 196, we see Martin taking book breaks while walking with Annabelle to Hilltop Road. This is partly to allow Jon to catch up and partly to let the suffering people around him have a break. But when the topic turns to Salesa and his death, we get this conversation.
And that's the crux of the matter. Martin didn't know them, so he's able to wave away the suffering caused by someone he has a positive opinion of. If Martin had simply heard of Jon hunting rather than directly hearing a statement from one of Jon's victims, I doubt he would've interfered.
This all comes to a head in MAG 199. Martin is a firm supporter for spreading the Fears to other realities. However, he only brings up saving the world as an afterthought. His primary concern is and has always been Jon and his well-being. He doesn't want Jon to sacrifice himself, even if thousands of other universes are sacrificed in the process.
Essentially, Martin tries simplifying things into black and white. If something doesn't fit into this framework, he ignores it until it's right in front of him. Martin tries to operate by society's sense of morality, but ends up abandoning it to protect the people he cares about. He's a hypocrite and he knows it. But even if it means dooming everyone else, he'll do whatever it takes to save Jon.
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Alys and Aemond's first interaction being him crawling at her skirts, bleeding and begging for help, and her smiling down at him. Delicious flavours, five star
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This absolute masterclass in acting from Emma D’arcy as Rhaenyra realizes Jace’s gone, the way you see her go thru the stages of grief in a matter of seconds, incredible performance. One of the best actors of our generation. He may have been naive and rash, but that was her baby.
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